[Copypasta] If you're a grown-ass man and you still wipe your ass, you're not a real man.

This should be self-explanatory but apparently, I have to justify myself. There's nothing more feminine than using a product on your body. Makeup is 100% feminine and by the same logic, so is wiping your ass. I haven't wiped my ass in about 4 years, and I've NEVER had any issues. My digestive system is in the top 1% in terms of regularity, functionality, and performance, and I've never once felt the need to "clean up" after myself. If you shit, and you need to wipe, you've got an emasculated GI tract and that's your own issue. Man up and get your shit (literally) together.
May 2021
What happened to this ad? :(
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This gentleman's deck is ABSURD!

twitchquotes: โ˜‘ โ€œThis gentleman's deck is ABSURD!โ€ โ˜‘ โ€œMy deck cannot hope to prevail against a deck of that caliberโ€ โ˜‘ "He REQUIRED those two cards in subsequent order to succeed" โ˜‘ โ€œHe extracted from his deck the only cards capable of defeating meโ€ โ˜‘ "His cards defied logic" โ˜‘ โ€œThere was no manoeuvre at my disposal to secure victoryโ€ โ˜‘ โ€œI played impeccablyโ€
twitch chat
October 2014

Hearthstone

This Copypasta Is CRAZY!

May the Fourth Emoji Pasta

May 2022

Holiday Emoji

Emoji Pasta

Holiday

It's not gay with socks on

When I was 13 years old a buddy of mine tried to convince me to fool around. I wasn't into it, and he told me it's not gay if you're wearing socks. I didn't believe him, went home, and asked my dad. That's 'gentleman's gay', hardly gay at all. Don't see it much these days. The 50s were a different time. What were we to do? We were typical boarding school boys, rich with vigor, skin slick with drying sweat and gritty earth from a game of pigskin. At night our young, virile bodies filled the dorm with sweet-musky vapors, like game-meat stewed with apple and peppercorn. You'd awake in darkness to the hushed, melodic rhythm of two pairs of white tube socks, barely visible in moonlight, bouncing on the hardwood floor. The deep bond of male friendship played like a thousand different human instruments. The wet claps of skin on skin, the gentle thud of heads on backboards, frenzied cries in the throes of climax. Wilbur, so fat and soft like tapioca pudding. His breasts were so like the real thing, what we fantasized of our future wives. Unwilling, defenseless Wilbur, so slow and uncoordinated in the dark. 10 of us would glaze his bare, pink flesh like a giant raspberry danish. He once had the audacity to tell Headmaster Redford. But Redford was a Deerfield boy once, he understood. So he joined us on our midnight hog hunts. Through college and years after we'd find time here and there, away from the wives at a family lake house. But it's been decades now - the times have certainly changed. If you wanted to do something private with another man, in your socks, it wasnโ€™t โ€˜gayโ€™. It was just two men, celebrating each other's strength.
August 2021

Time to get ready for big daddy HOE Biden

The results ๐Ÿ“ˆare in and our gurl ๐Ÿ’ƒ๐Ÿป sanders is out ๐Ÿณ๏ธโ€๐ŸŒˆ. Time to get ready for big daddy HOE Biden. He's cumming ๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿ’ฆ to DOMINATE๐Ÿคผโ€โ™‚๏ธ our HEAD of state ๐ŸŠ and his bitch๐Ÿ’๐Ÿปโ€โ™€๏ธ mike pence. He may be a donkey but he's big as a horse ๐Ÿ†๐Ÿด and is ready to touch ๐Ÿ‘‹๐Ÿคซ๐Ÿ˜ˆ the hearts ๐Ÿ’žof all Americans ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ. Cum erection day ๐Ÿ—ณ y'all sluts better fill that hole ๐Ÿ‘‰๐Ÿป๐Ÿ‘Œ next to biden and relaseโœŠ America's aching ๐Ÿคคthrobbing ๐Ÿ˜ฎ desire for green ๐Ÿค‘๐Ÿค‘energy, a ban ๐Ÿ›‘on those naughty big black guns๐Ÿ’ช๐Ÿพ, and more money to pay๐Ÿ’ต๐Ÿ’ฐ๐Ÿ’ธ those slutty nurses ๐Ÿ‘ฉโ€โš•๏ธ๐Ÿ’โ€โ™€๏ธ to make us all feel better ๐Ÿ‘„๐Ÿฅด. Cum ๐Ÿ’ฆ hoevember help the needy ๐Ÿ‘…๐ŸงŽ๐Ÿปโ€โ™‚๏ธ by supporting big daddy Biden ๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿปโ€๐Ÿฆณand naughty Nancy๐Ÿ’โ€โ™€๏ธ๐Ÿ‘ and give dirty Donald ๐ŸŽฉ, bitch McConnell ๐Ÿข, and those filthy ๐Ÿ˜ท๐Ÿ˜ reSUBlicans๐Ÿ˜ blue balls๐Ÿ”ต. Send to ๐Ÿ”Ÿ of your most deviant ๐Ÿ˜ˆdemocrats. If you get 5๏ธโƒฃback ur a Biden bitch ๐Ÿ’…๐Ÿป๐Ÿ’ต. if u get ๐Ÿ”Ÿ u will spend a hot ๐Ÿ”ฅ Decemberโ›„๏ธnight with those skanks at the ERECToral ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ† college ๐Ÿ›.)
May 2022

Emoji Pasta

Politics

Joe Biden

Atheists โ€ฆ what if you die and you find out it is all real?

Iโ€™m not trying to be an asshole. Think about this before answering. Atheists โ€ฆ what if you die and you find out it is all real? God, the Bible, Jesus, death on a cross, resurrection โ€ฆ all of it. What then?
June 2022
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