[Copypasta] If you're a grown-ass man and you still wipe your ass, you're not a real man.

This should be self-explanatory but apparently, I have to justify myself. There's nothing more feminine than using a product on your body. Makeup is 100% feminine and by the same logic, so is wiping your ass. I haven't wiped my ass in about 4 years, and I've NEVER had any issues. My digestive system is in the top 1% in terms of regularity, functionality, and performance, and I've never once felt the need to "clean up" after myself. If you shit, and you need to wipe, you've got an emasculated GI tract and that's your own issue. Man up and get your shit (literally) together.
May 2021
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

BALDING not MALDING

twitchquotes: Look at all of these non-intellectuals in chat. They struggle so hard to spell simple words such as "bald". They always type "mald" in chat instead. The pure stupidity in chat makes me lose hair in a way in which my hairline recedes aka "BALDING" not "MALDING".
twitch chat
July 2019

You are such a large pepperoni, why aren't you a pizza

twitchquotes: "Kripp my son," say the Papparin, "you are such a large pepperoni, why aren't you a pizza." But the Kripp don't respond. He elopes to Greece and runs his hand through his unshaven face scruff and say "Well met!" to the twisted Succubus. Alone in his heart, Papparin commits sudoku at a Starbucks in San Bernardino with Al Pacino, no cappucino.
twitch chat
April 2014
Kripp

Reynad keeps escaped walruses from the local zoo

twitchquotes: Wᴇʟʟ ᴍᴇᴛ Rᴇʏɴᴀᴅ! I ᴀᴍ Dᴀɴ Gᴜʟ, ᴏᴡɴᴇʀ ᴏғ ᴛʜᴇ ʟᴏᴄᴀʟ ᴢᴏᴏ. Wʜɪʟᴇ ᴡᴀᴛᴄʜɪɴɢ ʏᴏᴜʀ sᴛʀᴇᴀᴍ ᴡᴇ ɴᴏᴛɪᴄᴇᴅ sᴏᴍᴇ ᴅɪsᴛᴜʀʙɪɴɢ sᴏᴜɴᴅs ᴄᴏᴍɪɴɢ ғʀᴏᴍ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴍɪᴄ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴡᴇ ʙᴇʟɪᴇᴠᴇ ᴛᴏ ʙᴇ sᴏᴍᴇ ʀᴇᴄᴇɴᴛʟʏ ᴇsᴄᴀᴘᴇᴅ ᴡᴀʟʀᴜsᴇs. Iғ ʏᴏᴜ ᴅᴏ ɴᴏᴛ ʀᴇᴛᴜʀɴ ᴏᴜʀ ᴡᴀʟʀᴜsᴇs ᴡɪᴛʜɪɴ 24 ʜᴏᴜʀs, ᴡᴇ ᴡɪʟʟ ʜᴀᴠᴇ Tᴡɪᴛᴄʜ sʜᴜᴛ ᴅᴏᴡɴ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴄʜᴀɴɴᴇʟ. I'ᴍ ʙᴀɪᴛɪɴɢ ʏᴏᴜ.
twitch chat
November 2014
Reynad

For 5 years this Braum subs to Sneaky

twitchquotes: For 5 years this Braum subs to Sneaky. He climbs up from Bronze 3 to Diamond over the course of 4 years. Finally the day comes; he gets to play with Mr Scudderi. He picks Braum goes 1/10 gets flamed. He turns to alcohol and hard drugs. Starts beating his dog. Ends it in his mother's basement.
twitch chat
August 2019
Sneaky

League of Legends

Here you go again you simp

twitchquotes: Here you go again you simp. pokiYikes If youre so butthurt about poki being the cooler, swagger and more beautiful streamer then why dont you just stop and think about what she means to me. I give her my paycheck. I almost had to take a mortgage out just to buy food but you know what? It doesnt matter. Pokimane reads when I sub each month and she gives me a smile so its worth. Sorry for rambling I just cant deal with you pathetic simps ✋
twitch chat
November 2019
Pokimane

Simps

Text-to-Speech Playing