[Copypasta] If you're a grown-ass man and you still wipe your ass, you're not a real man.

This should be self-explanatory but apparently, I have to justify myself. There's nothing more feminine than using a product on your body. Makeup is 100% feminine and by the same logic, so is wiping your ass. I haven't wiped my ass in about 4 years, and I've NEVER had any issues. My digestive system is in the top 1% in terms of regularity, functionality, and performance, and I've never once felt the need to "clean up" after myself. If you shit, and you need to wipe, you've got an emasculated GI tract and that's your own issue. Man up and get your shit (literally) together.
May 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

I can no longer resist the pizza

twitchquotes: I can no longer resist the pizza. I open the box and unzip my pants with my other hand. As I penetrate the gooey cheese, I moan in ecstacy. The mushrooms and Italian sausage are rough, but the sauce is deliciously soothing. I blow my load in seconds. As you leave the bathroom, I exit through the front door....
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

I sexually identify as an Ironbeak Owl

twitchquotes: I sexually identify as an Ironbeak Owl. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of being misplayed during tournaments and silencing the incorrect cards. People say to me that a person being an owl is ridiculous and I'm fucking retarded but I don't care, I'm beautiful. I'm having a genetic engineer put ironbeak owl DNA into my body, equipping me with feathers, beaks, and the power to silence others. From now on I want you guys to call me "Owlsen" and respect my right to silence from above and silence needlessly. If you can't accept me you're an owlphobe and need to check your animal privilege. Thank you for understanding.
twitch chat
March 2015

Hearthstone

I sexually Identify as

Deez Nuts

⠀⠀⠀⣤⣤⣤⣤⣀⠀⠀⣤⣤⣤⣤⡄⠀⣤⣤⣤⣤⠀⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⣿⡇⠀⠈⢻⣧⠀⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⡾⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⣿⡇⠀⠀⢸⣿⠀⣿⡟⠛⠛⠀⠀⣿⠛⠛⠓⠀⠀⣠⡿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⣿⡇⢀⣀⣾⠏⠀⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⣴⡟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠛⠛⠛⠋⠁⠀⠀⠛⠛⠛⠛⠃⠀⠛⠛⠛⠛⠁⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⡄⠀⢸⣿⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀⠛⠛⢻⡟⠛⠋⣴⡟⠋⠛⠃ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠘⣿⡄⢸⣿⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⠙⢿⣦⣄⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀⠈⢿⣾⣿⠀⢸⣇⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢻⣷ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠿⠀⠀⠈⠿⠿⠀⠈⠻⠶⠶⠾⠋⠀⠀⠀⠸⠇⠀⠀⠻⠶⠶⠿⠃
April 2022

Fulfill your wish, spam this fish

twitchquotes: SabaPing FULFILL SabaPing YOUR SabaPing WISH SabaPing BY SabaPing SPAMMING SabaPing THIS SabaPing FISH SabaPing
twitch chat
November 2017

Rhyme Chant

Now I have to mod this chat?

twitchquotes: chat, I was in the middle of curling a 75lb dumbbell and climbing into my ferrari when I noticed you guys spamming dogshit in chat. I was about to go hangout with one of my 4 smoking hot gfs and now I have to mod this chat? Pathetic
twitch chat
August 2020

MODS

Text-to-Speech Playing