[Copypasta] If you're a grown-ass man and you still wipe your ass, you're not a real man.

This should be self-explanatory but apparently, I have to justify myself. There's nothing more feminine than using a product on your body. Makeup is 100% feminine and by the same logic, so is wiping your ass. I haven't wiped my ass in about 4 years, and I've NEVER had any issues. My digestive system is in the top 1% in terms of regularity, functionality, and performance, and I've never once felt the need to "clean up" after myself. If you shit, and you need to wipe, you've got an emasculated GI tract and that's your own issue. Man up and get your shit (literally) together.
May 2021
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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Super dong to the rescue

twitchquotes: ─=≡Σ((( つ◕ل͜◕)つ sᴜᴘᴇʀ ᴅᴏɴɢ to the rescue
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

Monster Amogus Crewmate With Tongue

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⡶⠛⠛⠶⣦⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣤⠞⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⡶⢿⡿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣽⡗⠲⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠴⠯⠭⣉⠙⣦⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣴⠟⠉⠀⡼⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⡏⡇⡘⠓⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢯⣀⠀⠀⣈⠆⢹⣦⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⢠⡾⠋⠀⠀⣸⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⡞⢠⣿⣢⣌⣳⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⡀⠏⠉⡉⠁⠀⣸⢹⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⢠⡿⠁⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡾⢁⡇⢸⢇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣧⠤⠒⡎⢀⣠⠴⠯⣞⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⡾⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⠞⠁⡎⣰⣇⠀⠙⣶⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⠋⠀⠀⠀⠛⠛⠓⠒⠦⣄⠙⠳⣄⠀⠀ ⢰⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠿⣶⣶⣶⠿⠋⠀⢠⠀⡿⠛⣛⣿⠿⣿⡖⠒⠒⠲⠦⠤⣀⡀⠀⠀⠙⢷⣤⣀⣀⣀⣤⣤⣤⣤⣀⠑⠀⠘⢦⠀ ⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⢃⡜⠙⠾⡋⠀⠀⠘⣿⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠒⠶⣦⣿⣿⣾⠛⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⣟⡆⠀⠘⣧ ⠀⢧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡇⢸⡶⢦⣴⠿⠆⠶⣿⡛⢿⡖⠦⣤⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠛⠧⠄⣀⣀⠀⣀⣼⡟⠁⠀⠀⣿ ⠀⠈⢷⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡞⢠⠟⠦⡀⠙⠳⠤⣀⠈⠛⠾⣷⡀⢧⡜⠛⢷⢦⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⢀⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⢹⣷⣦⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠃⣼⣷⣶⡿⣶⠀⠀⢀⣷⡀⠀⠘⣿⣿⣧⠀⠈⠾⣏⠛⠻⣶⣤⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣾⡿ ⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⠀⠉⠛⠶⢤⣄⣀⢀⡇⣼⣋⠭⣿⢃⠙⡟⢉⣿⠀⢳⡀⢰⣿⠉⢿⠇⠀⣰⠙⣆⠀⠘⣮⠉⠛⠻⠶⢶⣶⣶⣾⠿⠟⠋⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠻⣦⣄⠀⠀⣀⢀⠝⢙⣧⣌⡉⠛⠛⠿⠴⠿⠿⠷⠆⣀⣷⣼⣇⣆⡈⣧⣴⣿⣃⣘⣆⠀⢸⠀⣠⠖⠊⠉⢱⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⢿⣿⠷⠋⢠⠞⣿⠁⠙⢦⡼⠛⠉⠑⠒⣶⢰⡖⠲⠴⠠⠔⠫⢭⡄⠀⣠⣠⡌⣷⢸⡀⡏⠀⠀⠀⠻⠼⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢿⣶⣮⡥⠔⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⣼⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢳⢀⡇⠀⠻⣿⢸⠀⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⣧⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠛⠁⠀⠀⢻⢸⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⣦⣀⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⠘⠦⠟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠛⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣠⡤⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡟⠉⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡇⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⣷⣄⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣠⣼⠇⠀⠘⣧⣄⣀⣀⣀⣠⣤⣾⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
ascii art
May 2022

Among Us / Amogus

Response to someone correcting spelling

whats that? holy shit. holy fucking shit. you fucking genius. did you actually just correct someone's spelling? you fucking madlad. i can't believe i just witnessed one of the greatest achievements in human history right now. i think im gonna cry, im so excited. to be honest, i would suck your dick to reward you for your HUGE contribution to the human race if the line wasnt so long. you know what? fuck it. ill let you fuck my wife. ill pay you to fuck her. only for the slim chance that one of her kids will have a small part of your magnificent iq. ill mortgage my fucking house just so you could have 15 minutes with her, while hoping that your MASSIVE cock won't rip her in half. after that, we should start a religion for you. fuck jesus, the only thing this dick did is resurrect himself. you are entitled to the praise he's getting. we should make you immortal. losing you would mean stopping the human evolution and we would all revert to monkeys, not that we are more than monkeys in your majestic presence. I suggest we go to the UN and tell them to hand over all their authority to you, im sure you can unite all the people of the world just with a single swing of your cock, making the entire population wet in the process. just before that one more thing: can you shut the fuck up? nobody cares about that fucking typo you single chromosomed retarded gnome. I bet you think you are so fucking smart and witty after pointing something that didnt bother anyone. God, you are fucking pretentious, i bet you actually believed all of the text above. Did you think i would let you fuck my wife? She is only 12 you sick paedophile. Im calling the police so you could be tortured for eternity while your remains will be forcibly fed to everybody from your family or anyone even remotely related to you while they are forced to anally fuck a penguin. no, seriously do you think i'm joking? i'll come to your house and fuck your ass with a cactus. not that you would feel it after all the things you already had up there. you're a fucking twat that doesnt contribute to society and you deserve to die slowly.
October 2021

I hope Seraphine wins xD

twitchquotes: I hope Seraphine wins xD. I’m a Seraphine main and she’s just so fun!! People get so mad at the constant singing, and her voice is so cute, like when she sings about about being in K/DA! She is so beautiful and sings like a goddess just like Twitch Chat xD
twitch chat
November 2020

League of Legends

Smartest Man in Existence

twitchquotes: When I was in school I used to have an IQ of 15. My classmates used to harass me for not being that smart. But since 2013, my life has changed. My IQ is now 195 and it increases by 5 every time I sit down on Saturday nights to watch this one show. It is called Rick and Morty. Because of that, I get all the girls and people are always comparing me to Albert Einstein, some even say that I am the cure for cancer. When the government found out that I watch Rick and Morty, they showed up to my residence and took me to a secret facility to take an exam. The exam was about explaining all the jokes in Rick and Morty and I had to answer each question in all currently spoken languages. Since I watched Rick and Morty, I didn't have any problems and I completed it in 30 minutes. The next day, I got to see the results and I passed the exam with a score of 100%. They gave me the title "Smartest Man in Existence". Guess I am out of this world.
twitch chat
October 2017

Rick and Morty

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