[Copypasta] If you're a grown-ass man and you still wipe your ass, you're not a real man.

This should be self-explanatory but apparently, I have to justify myself. There's nothing more feminine than using a product on your body. Makeup is 100% feminine and by the same logic, so is wiping your ass. I haven't wiped my ass in about 4 years, and I've NEVER had any issues. My digestive system is in the top 1% in terms of regularity, functionality, and performance, and I've never once felt the need to "clean up" after myself. If you shit, and you need to wipe, you've got an emasculated GI tract and that's your own issue. Man up and get your shit (literally) together.
May 2021
I used to be a real ad
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Sorry, I've dropped my DREADSTEED DECK

twitchquotes: ♞ ♘ ♞ ♘ ♞ ♘ ♞ ♘ Sorry, I've dropped my DREADSTEED DECK ♞ ♘ ♞ ♘ ♞ ♘ ♞ ♘♞ ♘ ♞ ♘ ♞ ♘ ♞ ♘ Sorry, I've dropped my DREADSTEED DECK ♞ ♘ ♞ ♘ ♞ ♘ ♞ ♘
twitch chat
August 2015
Kripp

Hearthstone

Fiddle this, Fiddle that...

twitchquotes: Fiddle this, Fiddle that... For fucks sake chat you do this every time a new champion comes out. Everybody says they are too weak and need buffs. Michael is the ONLY one who goes against the grain to show you that indeed the 27% winrate is a myth and will demonstrate that perfectly clearly how it should be closer to 10%...
twitch chat
April 2020
imaqtpie

League of Legends

How I got into Harvard

Many people always ask me how I was able to get into Harvard as a 16 year old who skipped 3 grades of high school. They think I got in because of my scholarly records, but no the key is the interview. As I sat in the Harvard Dean's office in front of the board of reviewers for my application, the Dean asks me "Why should you be a good candidate for this school?" They seemed bored but I replied "Well I was born a child prodigy, placed 1st in my state spelling bee for three consecutive years, I can speak eight different languages not counting Latin, play four different instruments, I skipped grades 4 through 6, and graduated my high school as valedictorian at the age of 14. I then worked as an intern at both Telsa, and NASA." Suddenly the room burst into laughter and many of board instantly started scribbling down "No" near the application check marks. The Dean says "Sorry but you are just not the type we are looking for." But then I said "Excuse me but I wasn't finished... I watch Rick and Morty" The Dean looked at me like an idiot and said "So....?" Then I replied with a smile "And I understand all the references and subtle jokes" An audible gasp let out by the board was so loud the secretary had to come in. You could hear a pin drop and then suddenly all at once the entire board clicked their pens on the "Approved Box" and I was instantly handed a diploma and now I'm teaching advanced physicals there. I guess you can say I'm pretty smart. :)
December 2020

Rick and Morty

KkonaW

⡿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣤⣤⣴⣦⣤⣤⣤⣠⣤⣴⣶⣶⣦⣤⡀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠟⠛⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢻ ⣤⣤⣴⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⡶⣶⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⢶⣤⣤⣶⣶⣶⣤⣶⣶ ⣿⣿⠟⠋⠉⠀⠀⠀⠠⠀⠀⠀⠈⢻⣿⣿⣿⡿⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠉⠛⠻⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣦⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⣯⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⢲⣶⣿⣿⣿⣷⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣷⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⣄⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⣯⣄⡘⢿⣿⣿⡀⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠋⠙⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡷⠿⠋⠻⣿⣷⣏⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡍⠻⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠾⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⣶⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⢿⡿⠿⠿⠏⠈⠀⣸⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠀⣀⡀⠐⠾⣷⣾⣿⣾⣷⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⠟⠀⠀⣠⡆⢀⣼⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣿⣿⣷⣶⣦⣾⣦⣾⣯⣌⣩⣥⣉⣠⣤⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠿ ⣿⣿⣿⣍⣨⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣍⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⠚⠻⣿⣿⡿⠿⠟⠃⠀⠀⣠
September 2020
Text-to-Speech Playing