This should be self-explanatory but apparently, I have to justify myself.
There's nothing more feminine than using a product on your body. Makeup is 100% feminine and by the same logic, so is wiping your ass. I haven't wiped my ass in about 4 years, and I've NEVER had any issues. My digestive system is in the top 1% in terms of regularity, functionality, and performance, and I've never once felt the need to "clean up" after myself.
If you shit, and you need to wipe, you've got an emasculated GI tract and that's your own issue. Man up and get your shit (literally) together.
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
Epik skill-capped MEMER LORD
twitchquotes:
Yo QT, it's me... Scarra... I know what we said before and I hope we can just put it behind us... We need an Epik skill-capped MEMER LORD to come carry us. Peng Yalang just isn't doing it for us anymore.... 
twitch chat
imaqtpie
wake up this is all a dream
this is all a dream, but we don't have enough money to keep you living through your coma Holy shit! You identify as an attack helicopter?
Holy shit! You identify as an attack helicopter? Iāve never heard that joke before, but itās so genius! You sir, or madame, or helicopter, are the absolute most hilarious and original person I have ever seen in my entire life. Move over, Jerry Seinfeld. Get lost, Brian Regan. Out of the way, Family Guy Funny Moments Compilation #53. Thereās a new funniest man in town. Holy shit, I just canāt get over this joke. Iām giggling and guffawing harder than ever before. You should win an Oscar and an Emmy and a Grammy and a Nickelodeon Kidās Choice Award. Attack helicopter gender! Wow! So funny! Take that, liberals! Haha. Every night since I was born I have looked up to the plastic glow-in-the-dark stars on my ceiling and wondered, āI hope one day I can be as funny as the attack helicopter gender guy.ā I will tell my children, and my childrenās children, all about the absolute hilarity that went down just now. You just broke the Guinness World Record for funniest and most original jokester on the planet. Iām fucking simultaneously shitting and cumming because this joke is just so funny. Holy shit. That was an amazing joke, my guy. Iām gonna make a subreddit dedicated entirely to this one joke. Itās gonna get thousands of members! History books will forever remember the time you said, āI identify as an attack helicopter.ā Itāll go right there in the important quote book, right between Patrick Henry and Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. I just canāt believe I was here to witness such grandeur. I was here! I think Iām going to make a whole religion based on worshipping you, my glorious and hilarious attack helicopter God. This is just so funny I canāt believe it! Hahahahahahahahahaha! I think Iām going to go to the hospital and fucking die from laughing to hard, but thatās okay! This is even funnier than that guy who said he identified as a toaster! Can you believe it? I never thought that very different joke could be topped, but here we are! Did I mention how funny and original that joke was? Ah, well done, sir, or madame, or helicopter. This is an experience I wonāt forget any time soon. Ha. Haha. Ha. Lol. Lmao. Haha. Jajaja. Lmfao. Rofl, rotfl, ha.
Imaqtpie's father messages him
twitchquotes:
Hola Miguel, it is me your father, Fernando Santana. I see you achieved a lot in your life and your seniora Lisha is a fine mamacita. When are you comin to Mehico?
twitch chat
imaqtpie
League of Legends
George Orwell ruined my life
Iām a huge fan of 1984, especially the writing of the characters and dialogue in it. There was a girl I liked at school, and I tried to think of the smartest and most clever way to ask her out. I decided to be like Winston, telling her how much I used to hate her and how I wanted to rape her and smash her head into a wall. However, instead of being wooed like I expected, she got mad at me and told the Principal and said I was āsexually harassingā her. Itās clear she just wasnāt intelligent enough for me and was embarrassed. However, no one wanted to hear my reasoning. Iāve been given detention and my parents have been informed, and despite how Iām clearly in the right everyone seems to think Iām some weirdo now. This truly is a dystopian society we live in......