[Copypasta] If you're a grown-ass man and you still wipe your ass, you're not a real man.

This should be self-explanatory but apparently, I have to justify myself. There's nothing more feminine than using a product on your body. Makeup is 100% feminine and by the same logic, so is wiping your ass. I haven't wiped my ass in about 4 years, and I've NEVER had any issues. My digestive system is in the top 1% in terms of regularity, functionality, and performance, and I've never once felt the need to "clean up" after myself. If you shit, and you need to wipe, you've got an emasculated GI tract and that's your own issue. Man up and get your shit (literally) together.
May 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

How to deal with unsportsmanlike player at chess club?

Theres a very unsportsmanlike player at our club who constantly taunts and belittles everyone else. Whenver you make a mistake he yells out "blunder!" or "inaccuracy!" ... "better move was..." and then says the engine move or what he thinks the engine move is. He also says what he thinks the engine +- is. He plays the kings gambit as much as he can and knows like 30 moves deep into every variation. If you respond something other than e5 to 1.e4 he just laughs and calls you a patzer. He's also OBSESSED with Hikaru Nakamura. He talks about him all the time and shows everyone a picture of him with Hikaru (Its really blurry so its hard to tell if its even him). He's constantly talking about him as if he's a close friend even though he only (maybe?) met him one time. Its bordering on creepy and makes everyone uncomfortable. He calls him "Hikaru-San" which I think is part of his obsession with Japanese culture. He also brings japanese noodles/Ramen to the club every day and will spend like 5-10 minute eating them during his turn just to taunt you. Meanwhile he will be mumbling words in japanese. We tried approaching about his conduct but he just did some weird anime villain laugh, yelled something in Japanese, then ran off to challenge another person to a blitz match. We obviously don't want to tell him not to come but it feels like his presence is deterring new people from joining and its also exhuasting.
February 2022

Chess

Nerf MEGA Mastodon blaster ad

twitchquotes: NerfRedBlaster Dominate Nerf blaster battles with the first-ever motorized Nerf MEGA blaster! NerfBlueBlaster The Nerf MEGA Mastodon blaster boasts incredible rapid-fire speeds to send MEGA Whistler darts screaming through the air from its integrated 24-dart drum. NerfRedBlaster Bring the MEGA Mastodon blaster into action to overwhelm opponents with its imposing size. NerfBlueBlaster Use the shoulder strap for easy maneuvering to be ready for Nerf battles anytime, anywhere. NerfRedBlaster
twitch chat
February 2017

Chat has just turned into a cesspool

twitchquotes: At this point in the night the chat has just turned into a cesspool. There is no point in trying to have a meaningful discussion with anyone, it's just copy pasta this PJ Salt that. And the worst part is no one in the chat knows how to play the game so they just give ass advice. If this gets copied I will leave.
twitch chat
August 2017

I hate Twitch Chat

Just got told i was gay becouse i smell nice???

Bruh? Like sorry i don't smell like a mix of piss sweat and axe body spray Troy. I will gladly shower every night AND morning and use fruit and coconut smelled soap and deodorant. My good hygeine doesn't have anything to do with my professional competitive cock sucking
February 2022

Reynad and Lea

twitchquotes: REYNAD AND LEA SITTIN ON A DECK, W - E - L - L - M - E - T
twitch chat
March 2014
Reynad
Text-to-Speech Playing