[Copypasta] If you're a grown-ass man and you still wipe your ass, you're not a real man.

This should be self-explanatory but apparently, I have to justify myself. There's nothing more feminine than using a product on your body. Makeup is 100% feminine and by the same logic, so is wiping your ass. I haven't wiped my ass in about 4 years, and I've NEVER had any issues. My digestive system is in the top 1% in terms of regularity, functionality, and performance, and I've never once felt the need to "clean up" after myself. If you shit, and you need to wipe, you've got an emasculated GI tract and that's your own issue. Man up and get your shit (literally) together.
May 2021
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More Copypastas

I thought Jerma dreams were BS... until the other night

I thought Jerma dreams were BS... until the other night. I know I know. Another "I had a dream about Jerma" post. I've been thinking about whether or not to post this for the last 3 days, since everyone and their grandmas are doing these posts. But whatever. Three nights ago I dreamt that I was watching a jerma stream and he did something so utterly hilarious that I bursted out laughing so hard that I actually woke up from it. I looked for my phone to write down what he was doing (because it was 2 am and I needed to go back to sleep) but I couldn't find it for the life of me. Then in the corner of my eye a webcam appeared and it was Jerma laughing his ass off saying "chat he can't find it" and "he doesn't know pepeface". I was still dreaming lmao. I saw chat and it was just a wall of OMEGALULs. The whole situation was hilarious so then I woke up for real this time. Unfortunately because of the nature of the dream I can't remember what he was doing originally that was so funny. I think he was choking on a piece of bread or something.
March 2022
Jerma985

Winston is basically an Anime character

twitchquotes: If you think about it, Winston is basically an Anime character. He has that epic anime leap, and that cliche genius anime glasses. I bet he gets all the ladies with his wit and charismatic humor. I wish I could be Winston, but I'm already winston :(
twitch chat
January 2019

Overwatch

President's Day Emoji Pasta PresiDICK's Day

Happy PresiDICK’S πŸ†πŸŒπŸŒ½ DAY‼️ Time ⏰⏰ to honor the DADDIES πŸ‘¬πŸ‘¬ of our nation πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡ΈπŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Έ George SLUTsington πŸ‘―πŸ‘―, Benjamin SPANKlinπŸ‘‹πŸ‘, John HanCOCK πŸ†πŸŒ½πŸ’¦πŸ’¦πŸ’¦ These POUNDING πŸ”¨βš’ fathers ERECTED ⬆️⬆️ their πŸ˜»πŸ“ƒCUNTstitutional dongs 😍🍌for LADY LIBERTY πŸ—½πŸ‘…πŸ™€ Raise that ASS πŸ‘ to πŸ’¦πŸ’¦ Abraham LinCUM πŸ’¦πŸ’¦, 🌲 WOODrow Wilson πŸ˜πŸŒ²πŸ˜‰, Bill CLIT-on πŸ‘ŒπŸ‘ˆ, and the CUMmander in chief, πŸ‘¦πŸ†πŸ‘€BarCOCK Obama πŸ‘¦πŸ†πŸ‘€ Don’t forget Dwight D. EisenWHORE πŸ‘€πŸ˜© DICKlared war πŸ”«πŸ’£ on those CUMMIES πŸ’¦πŸ’‚πŸ’‚ Share in ♋️ SUCKonds or you won’t be pounding πŸ”¨that presidential PUSSY πŸ™€πŸ™€ Get 5️⃣ back and ur a White House HOE 🏠 Get πŸ”Ÿ back and ur the SUCKretary of state πŸ“”πŸ˜™πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Έ Get 20 back and the First Lady will make u moan πŸ˜©πŸ˜©πŸ’¦πŸ’¦πŸ’¦πŸ’¦πŸ’¦ HAPPY JIZZIDENT’S DAY!! Hail to the CHEEKS πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘
February 2024

President's Day

Emoji Pasta

Holiday Emoji

Yuletide tunes in your playlist

twitchquotes: (β•­ΰ²°_‒́)\c[] Dear Mr. Andrey Yanyuk, may I humbly suggest the implementation of Yuletide tunes in your playlist for the day good sir? (β•­ΰ²°_‒́)\c[]
twitch chat
December 2014
Reynad

I'm reporting all of you spammers to the Twitch CEO

twitchquotes: Ok chat I've had it. I will be reporting all of you spammers to my dad (Twitch CEO btw) and he will be banning you from Twitch. So keep it up if you want to be banned, you have only yourself to be blamed
twitch chat
June 2019

I hate Twitch Chat

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