[Copypasta] If you're a grown-ass man and you still wipe your ass, you're not a real man.

This should be self-explanatory but apparently, I have to justify myself. There's nothing more feminine than using a product on your body. Makeup is 100% feminine and by the same logic, so is wiping your ass. I haven't wiped my ass in about 4 years, and I've NEVER had any issues. My digestive system is in the top 1% in terms of regularity, functionality, and performance, and I've never once felt the need to "clean up" after myself. If you shit, and you need to wipe, you've got an emasculated GI tract and that's your own issue. Man up and get your shit (literally) together.
May 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

I, an atheist, accidentally said “oh my g*d” instead of “oh my science”

I, an atheist, accidentally said “oh my g*d” instead of “oh my science” You read the title, I just cannot believe I said the “g” word on accident. Am I even an atheist anymore? I don’t like religion or anything but like maybe it infiltrated me and is manipulating me to say “oh my g*d” instead of “oh my science”. Please guys it wasn’t me, I didn’t mean it. I’m very disappointed in myself, I think I need to go to science camp or go to therapy. What if I’m secretly religious? what should I do? Is my foreskin going to fall off?? Please can someone give me advice, any advice is appreciated. Best regards, -an atheist(?)
November 2020

I pay $4.99 a month to enjoy chat

twitchquotes: ᶫᶦˢᵗᵉᶰ ᵘᵖ ᵐᵒᵗʰᵉʳᶠᵘᶜᵏᵉʳˢ ʸᵒᵘ ᵃʳᵉ ᵃᶫᶫ ᵃᶜᵗᶦᶰᵍ ʷᵃʸ ᵒᵘᵗ ᵒᶠ ʰᵃᶰᵈ ᵃᶰᵈ ᶰᵒᵗ ᵃᶜᵗᶦᶰᵍ ᶦᶰ ᵃᶜᶜᵒʳᵈ ʷᶦᵗʰ ᵗʷᶦᵗᶜʰ ᵖᵒᶫᶦᶜᶦᵉˢ ʷᶦᵗʰ ᵃᶫᶫ ᵗʰᶦˢ ˢᵖᵃᵐᵐᶦᶰᵍ ᵃᶰᵈ ʸᵒᵘ ᵃʳᵉ ᵃᶫˢᵒ ʳᵘᶦᶰᶦᶰᵍ ᵗʰᶦˢ ᶜʰᵃᵗ ʷʰᶦᶜʰ ᴵ ᵖᵃʸ $4⋅99 ᵃ ᵐᵒᶰᵗʰ ᵗᵒ ᵉᶰʲᵒʸ ᵃᶰᵈ ᴵ ˢʷᵉᵃʳ ᵗᵒ ᵍᵒᵈ ᶦᶠ ᴵ ˢᵉᵉ ᵃᶰʸᵒᶰᵉ ᶜᵒᵖʸ ᵃᶰᵈ ᵖᵃˢᵗᵉ ᵗʰᶦˢ ᴵ'ᵐ ᶜᵃᶫᶫᶦᶰᵍ ᵗʰᵉ ᶜᵒᵖˢ
twitch chat
May 2014
Kripp

Pokemon Marathon Season 2 Intermission

twitchquotes: ResidentSleeper HOLD IT ResidentSleeper HOW PREDICTABLE ResidentSleeper THIS IS BORING ResidentSleeper NOT MY SHOULDER ResidentSleeper VERY SCARY-O ResidentSleeper THIS IS BORING AGAIN ResidentSleeper UNINTELLIGENT ResidentSleeper ?????? ResidentSleeper WANNA SHARE MY BLANKET ResidentSleeper
twitch chat
September 2018

Pokemon Marathon 2018

Ok, so I main Mercy

twitchquotes: Ok, so I main Mercy all I see is a bunch of posts and comments basically talking shit about Mercy mains. But let me tell you something, you need us. Honestly, do you think it's easy playing Mercy or something? Every time I hear "I need healing" it feels like a synapse in my brain just snapped. Like do you think I'm fucking blind or something? Do you not think I can see the big red target saying "CRITICAL"?? and you guys have the audacity to talk down on us Mercy mains.
twitch chat
June 2017

Overwatch

I am not receiving 328.2 million votes on my election

twitchquotes: I have noticed that, although America has 328.2 million people, I am not receiving 328.2 million votes on my election. I'm not sure if this is being done intentionally or if these "friends" are forgetting to vote for me. Either way, I've had enough. I have compiled a spreadsheet of individuals who have "forgotten" to vote for me. After 2 consecutive strikes, your name is automatically highlighted (shown in red) and I am immediately notified. 3 consecutive strikes and you can expect an in-person "consultation". Think about your actions.
twitch chat
November 2020

2020 US Election

Classic

Text-to-Speech Playing