[Copypasta] If you're a grown-ass man and you still wipe your ass, you're not a real man.

This should be self-explanatory but apparently, I have to justify myself. There's nothing more feminine than using a product on your body. Makeup is 100% feminine and by the same logic, so is wiping your ass. I haven't wiped my ass in about 4 years, and I've NEVER had any issues. My digestive system is in the top 1% in terms of regularity, functionality, and performance, and I've never once felt the need to "clean up" after myself. If you shit, and you need to wipe, you've got an emasculated GI tract and that's your own issue. Man up and get your shit (literally) together.
May 2021
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More Copypastas

Will you be my Quaran-TINE?

twitchquotes: Dear Streamer, please forgive my fever and the coughing of my lungs. Ever since I first entered stream I fell for the way you entertained and captivated the chat. I adored the way you practiced social distancing, responsibly purchased toilet paper, and wore a mask at all times. It is so contagious! Everything that I have witnessed has made my body ache for your pathogens. As your simping loyal petri dish, will you be my Quaran-TINE?
twitch chat
March 2020

Simps

Coronavirus

COVID

Is buttcheeks one word

twitchquotes: Hey [streamer name], it's Ashley Jones from secondary school. I remember you were the best English student back in the day so I figured I would hop in the stream to ask you a question for the GMAT. Is buttcheeks one word, or should I spread them?
twitch chat
May 2021

Dex barks at Kripp

twitchquotes: OhMyDog "Alright, bark at Kripp, I guess" OhMyDog "Haven't barked at Kripp in a while, let's go bark" OhMyDog "Barking at Kripp isn't that good, but alright" OhMyDog
twitch chat
December 2016
Kripp

Emoji move emoji review

twitchquotes: A ๐Ÿ‘Œ whole ๐Ÿ’ฆ town ๐Ÿช of ๐Ÿ’ฆ beings, ๐Ÿ‘€ confined to ๐Ÿ’ฆ feeling ๐Ÿ˜œ one ๐Ÿ˜ค emotion their ๐Ÿ† entire ๐Ÿ‘ life. ๐Ÿ‘ค That ๐Ÿ˜ could ๐Ÿ”’ honestly ๐Ÿ‘ be ๐Ÿ the ๐Ÿ‘ focus of ๐Ÿ’ฆ an ๐Ÿ‘น entire ๐Ÿ‘ movie, ๐ŸŽฅ but ๐Ÿ‘ in ๐Ÿ‘ the ๐Ÿ‘ emoji ๐Ÿ˜‚ movie ๐ŸŽฅ that's ๐Ÿ˜ฆ just ๐Ÿ‘ the ๐Ÿ‘ world ๐ŸŒŽ they ๐Ÿ‘ฅ live ๐Ÿ™… in, ๐Ÿ‘ and ๐Ÿ‘ yet ๐Ÿ˜‡ these ๐Ÿ‘ˆ beings ๐Ÿ‘€ don't ๐Ÿšซ question ๐Ÿ˜ฉ it ๐Ÿ’ฏ and ๐Ÿ‘ carry ๐Ÿ”› on ๐Ÿ”› their ๐Ÿ† lives ๐Ÿ“ด as ๐Ÿ‘ normal... ๐Ÿ˜ the ๐Ÿ‘ emoji ๐Ÿ˜‚ movie ๐ŸŽฅ takes ๐Ÿ˜‰ a ๐Ÿ‘Œ far ๐ŸŒŒ more ๐Ÿ— subtle ๐Ÿ™ˆ approach ๐Ÿ˜œ meaning critics probably ๐Ÿ˜ป didn't ๐Ÿšซ notice the ๐Ÿ‘ strong ๐Ÿ’ช existential themes present ๐Ÿ’ฒ in ๐Ÿ‘ the ๐Ÿ‘ film upon ๐Ÿ‘ฆ first ๐Ÿ‘† viewing.
twitch chat
July 2017

Emoji Pasta

Chat has just turned into a cesspool

twitchquotes: At this point in the night the chat has just turned into a cesspool. There is no point in trying to have a meaningful discussion with anyone, it's just copy pasta this PJ Salt that. And the worst part is no one in the chat knows how to play the game so they just give ass advice. If this gets copied I will leave.
twitch chat
August 2017

I hate Twitch Chat

Text-to-Speech Playing