[Copypasta] If you're a grown-ass man and you still wipe your ass, you're not a real man.

This should be self-explanatory but apparently, I have to justify myself. There's nothing more feminine than using a product on your body. Makeup is 100% feminine and by the same logic, so is wiping your ass. I haven't wiped my ass in about 4 years, and I've NEVER had any issues. My digestive system is in the top 1% in terms of regularity, functionality, and performance, and I've never once felt the need to "clean up" after myself. If you shit, and you need to wipe, you've got an emasculated GI tract and that's your own issue. Man up and get your shit (literally) together.
May 2021
I used to be a real ad
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Canadian sex

twitchquotes: thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!"
twitch chat
November 2020

My kids were listening to Lil Nas X

My kids were listening to old town road by Lil Nas X and one of my kids asked me doesn’t he worship satan? Thinking face I said yes son sadly he does. I had to turn on No role modelz by J Cole to cheer him up My kids idolize someone better now! Thank you J Cole you’re a life saver!
April 2021

Don't Sus With Me, Miss Nagatoro

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⠛⠛⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⢀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠙⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠰⡄⠀⣃⣠⣤⣬⣆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠆⠀⠀⠀⣠⣀⠀⠀⠈⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠀⡴⢄⠀⠀⢠⣾⣿⣿⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣦⣽⣼⣀⣜⣠⣿⣿⣴⡄⠀⣽⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠠⢰⠆⢢⣤⣼⣿⣿⣧⣶⣶⡖⠀⠀⠀⢈⣿⣿⣯⣭⣭⠉⠉⠁⠀⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠠⡀⢺⠸⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣥⣤⣤⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣛⣀⣀⡀⣰⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠈⠣⠴⡾⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⠻⠿⠿⠛⠿⠿⢛⣿⣿⣿⠇⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠻⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣮⣛⣫⣵⣾⣿⣿⠿⠋⢠⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⢰⣶⣿⣿⣟⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠋⠉⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⢸⣿⣦⣝⠻⡿⣡⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢐⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⢀⣤⣴⣶⣿⡹⣿⣿⣿⡟⣵⢰⡟⣴⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⢀⣯⡻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣮⣝⣩⣾⣿⢎⣤⣙⣴⣿⣷⡄⠀⠀⣿⡆⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⣿⣷⣌⡿⠿⣛⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿⣿⣿⡿⣡⡇⠐⠀⣿⣿⠀⣼⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⢀⢻⣿⢏⡶⣿⣿⣿⣷⡍⢿⡷⢟⣫⣭⡛⣰⣿⠣⠁⣸⣿⣿⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢠⠀⡾⣸⣿⣎⢡⣿⢿⣿⡿⢛⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⡇⣋⣭⣧⢺⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣸⢀⣇⢿⢸⣿⡘⠏⢼⡟⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⣐⣻⣿⠋⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡁⣿⣿⣦⡘⣿⢸⣿⠌⣸⣿⣿⣿⡿⢋⣴⣿⣝⢿⣿⡔⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⣬⣛⠿⣷⡍⣾⣿⠀⣿⣿⠿⣫⣔⢿⣿⣿⣿⢘⣿⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢡⣬⣉⣛⠲⠶⠜⣛⣒⣤⣤⣛⣛⣿⣆⣉⡛⠉⣈⣥⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⢿⣿⣿⣿⢻⣷⣶⠆⣤⣤⣤⡄⢠⣤⣤⣤⣄⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡏⠄⣿⣿⣿⡏⢸⣿⣿⠀⣿⣿⣿⡇⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⡘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⢠⢠⣿⣿⣿⠃⣺⣿⣿⠀⣿⣿⣿⡇⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡇⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⠀⣿⣿⣿⠀⣿⣿⣿⣧⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣦⡀⣭⣭⣭⣭⣤⣭⡍⠉⠀⠛⠛⠻⠿⠈⣥⣤⣤⠀⠀⠼⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡇⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣤⣤⣝⠻⣿⣿⣿⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡇⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠘⠛⠿⠸⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⢟⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣮⣍⣛⣛⠛⠿⠿⢛⣋⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣠⣤⣬⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
August 2021

Among Us / Amogus

Spoilers in Twitch Chat

twitchquotes: Keep sharing spoilers guys! Those shows seem so interesting, I'm so glad I'm reading all these spoilers. What about some Game of Thrones spoilers now? How hard can you spoil it?
twitch chat
April 2014
Reynad

Infinite poop

twitchquotes: Infinite poop. You sit on the toilet to poop, but the poop never stops coming out of your butt. You have to start flushing the toilet every two minutes to keep up. You try to pinch your butt closed but that makes your insides hurt. The poop accelerates. You call 911. The paramedics call for doctors. The doctors call for specialists. The story trends on Twitter. You turn down talk show appearances. Your septic tank fails. People form a cult. Your toilet is finished. Volunteers arrive with buckets and shovels. You are completely used to the smell. The poop accelerates. You are moved to a stepladder with a hole in the top step. The poop accelerates. The shovelers abandon the buckets and shovel directly out the window. The poop accelerates. A candlelight vigil forms around your house. One of the workers falls over and can't free himself. The poop accelerates. A priest knocks over the stepladder and tackles you out the window. You land in the pile. The poop accelerates. The force now propels you forward and upward. Vigil goers grab at your legs. The poop ignites from their candles. The Facebook live event hits 1 million viewers. The poop accelerates. You are 30 feet in the air. The fire engulfs the vigil and your house. 60 feet. The poop accelerates. The torrent underneath you is deafening. 5 million Facebook live viewers. You try to close up shop but your butthole disintegrated long ago. 120 feet up. Your house explodes. The poop accelerates. 1000 feet. You are now tracked on radar. You try to change your angle of ascent but you should have thought of that way earlier. The poop accelerates. 4,000 feet. NORAD upgrades to DEFCON 3. Concentric circles of fire engulf your city. The poop accelerates. You have broken the sound barrier. 30,000 feet. You no longer take in enough oxygen to sustain consciousness. 60,000 feet. CNN is reporting on all the world records you've broken. 200,000 feet. You are no longer alive. The poop accelerates. Your body disintegrates but your poop contrail remains. NASA can no longer track you. You break the light-speed barrier and we can no longer bear witness. The poop accelerates. Forever.
twitch chat
June 2019

Classic

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