[Copypasta] If you're a grown-ass man and you still wipe your ass, you're not a real man.

This should be self-explanatory but apparently, I have to justify myself. There's nothing more feminine than using a product on your body. Makeup is 100% feminine and by the same logic, so is wiping your ass. I haven't wiped my ass in about 4 years, and I've NEVER had any issues. My digestive system is in the top 1% in terms of regularity, functionality, and performance, and I've never once felt the need to "clean up" after myself. If you shit, and you need to wipe, you've got an emasculated GI tract and that's your own issue. Man up and get your shit (literally) together.
May 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

It starts with a charging Rein

twitchquotes: It starts with a charging Rein. Janus floods the enemy team. His teammates race back and forth behind closed eyelids. Janus dies. Dead. Now itโ€™s up to the Justice to decide what to do with it.
twitch chat
March 2019
OverwatchLeague

Overwatch

do u think that yoshi gets embarrassed

do u think that yoshi gets embarrassed when he poos out eggs in front of mario??? sorry if this ofends anyone but i thought it was a funny thing haha. and i would like to know if any of you have any pics of yoshi pooping an egg while he looks nervous or embarrassed i just want to see it for a few laughs haha. another thing i am wondering is what do you think the eggs smell like haha im just curious for laughs haha i would like to smell them
July 2019

Super Smash Bros

Classic

Not enough brofisting

twitchquotes: Dear Mister-I'm-Too-Good-To-Bro-Fist-All-My-Subs, this'll be the last pasta I ever send your ***. It's been six months and still no word - I don't deserve it? I know you got my last two pastas; I wrote the Kappas on 'em perfect. I'm in the chat right now, spamming penises in r9k. Hey Kripp, I drank a fifth of OJ, you dare me to riot?
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

IS THAT A MOTHERFUCKING ***SQUID GAME REFERENCE***??????!!!!!!!!!!11!1!1!1!1!1!1! ๐Ÿ˜ฑ๐Ÿ˜ฑ๐Ÿ˜ฑ๐Ÿ˜ฑ๐Ÿ˜ฑ๐Ÿ˜ฑ๐Ÿ˜ฑ

๐Ÿ˜ฑ๐Ÿ˜ฑ๐Ÿ˜ฑ HOLY FUCKING SHITโ€ผ๏ธโ€ผ๏ธโ€ผ๏ธโ€ผ๏ธ IS THAT A MOTHERFUCKING SQUID GAME REFERENCE??????!!!!!!!!!!11!1!1!1!1!1!1! ๐Ÿ˜ฑ๐Ÿ˜ฑ๐Ÿ˜ฑ๐Ÿ˜ฑ๐Ÿ˜ฑ๐Ÿ˜ฑ๐Ÿ˜ฑ SQUID GAME IS THE BEST FUCKING SHOW ๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ’ฏ๐Ÿ’ฏ๐Ÿ’ฏ๐Ÿ’ฏ GI-HUN IS SO HOTTTTT ๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿฅต๐Ÿฅต๐Ÿฅต๐Ÿฅต๐Ÿฅต COME PLAY DDJAKI WITH ME ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฆ YOU CAN PAY WITH YOUR BODY ๐Ÿ–๐Ÿ˜Ÿ๐Ÿ‘Š๐Ÿ˜Ÿ๐Ÿ–๐Ÿ˜Ÿ๐Ÿ‘Š๐Ÿ˜Ÿ๐Ÿ–๐Ÿ˜Ÿ๐Ÿ‘Š๐Ÿ˜Ÿ MUGUNGHWA KKOCI PIEOT SEUMNIDA ๐Ÿ”ซ๐Ÿ˜ ๐Ÿ”ซ๐Ÿ˜ ๐Ÿ”ซ๐Ÿ˜ ๐Ÿ”ซ๐Ÿ˜ ๐Ÿ”ซ๐Ÿ˜  Whatโ€™s the gameโ“ Whatโ€™s the game!โ“ โ“ Whatโ€™s the game!โ“ โ“ Whatโ€™s the game! Whatโ€™s the game!โ“ Whatโ€™s the game! โ“ Whatโ€™s the game!โ“ โ“ Whatโ€™s the game! โ“ โ“ โ“ โ“ Whatโ€™s the game!Whatโ€™s the game!Whatโ€™s the game! Whatโ€™s the game!Whatโ€™s the game!Whatโ€™s the game Whatโ€™s the game!โ“ Whatโ€™s the game! โ“ Whatโ€™s the game!Whatโ€™s the gameโ“ โ“ Whatโ€™s the game! โ“ โ“ โ“ โ“ โ“ โ“ Whatโ€™s the game! โ“ Whatโ€™s the game! โ“ Whatโ€™s the game!โ“ โ“ โ“ โ“ Whatโ€™s the game! โ“ โ“ Whatโ€™s the game!โ“ Whatโ€™s the game! โ“ โ“ Whatโ€™s the game!โ“ โ“ Whatโ€™s the game! โ“ Whatโ€™s the game!Whatโ€™s the game! โ“ โ“ โ“ โ“ โ“ โ“ โ“ Whatโ€™s the game!โ“ โ“ โ“ Whatโ€™s the game!โ“ โ“ โ“ โ“ Whatโ€™s the game! โ“ Whatโ€™s the game! Whatโ€™s the game!Whatโ€™s the game!Whatโ€™s the game! Whatโ€™s the game! โ“ โ“ โ“ โ“ โ“ โ“ Oh no you failed the game!๐Ÿ‘€๐Ÿ‘€๐Ÿ‘€๐Ÿ‘€๐Ÿ‘€๐Ÿ‘€๐Ÿ‘€๐Ÿ‘€๐Ÿ‘€๐Ÿ‘€ Player 69420 eliminated!!!!!!!!!!!!!!๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚ r/squidgamememes r/unexpectedsquidgame r/expectedsquidgame perfectly balanced as all things should be r/unexpectedthanos r/expectedthanos for balance ๐Ÿฆ‘๐ŸŽฎ๐Ÿฆ‘๐ŸŽฎ๐Ÿฆ‘๐ŸŽฎ๐Ÿฆ‘๐ŸŽฎ โบ๐Ÿ”ผโนโบ๐Ÿ”ผโนโบ๐Ÿ”ผโน ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚
October 2021

My poop story

twitchquotes: My poop story. I lived in a dookie (pun on purpose) apartment complex in a college town, literally $300 a month, on a river in the south. So a small and always very high maintenance team worked for them. They showed up (stoned) and were changing everyoneโ€™s filters. Heard. Ok come in. I had a particularly funky little caesars pizza not an hour before the incident. We were making small talk and such as these things tend to linger, I suddenly felt a disturbance in my lower gut (bubbleguts). I felt confident in my distance from the maintenance guy that I got squeeze out a fart and then distract him into another room. This was no fart. At slightest bit of effort I put towards this fart a flood of terrible pizza diarrhea shot out of my ass like a goddamn rocket. As I was staring this man in the eye. I was staring another human being in the eyes...while I pooed my pants. To this day not only do I have no clue if he knew or not but I would still pay thousands of dollars to just see my face when that happened. That is my poop story.
twitch chat
June 2019
Text-to-Speech Playing