[Copypasta] If you're a grown-ass man and you still wipe your ass, you're not a real man.

This should be self-explanatory but apparently, I have to justify myself. There's nothing more feminine than using a product on your body. Makeup is 100% feminine and by the same logic, so is wiping your ass. I haven't wiped my ass in about 4 years, and I've NEVER had any issues. My digestive system is in the top 1% in terms of regularity, functionality, and performance, and I've never once felt the need to "clean up" after myself. If you shit, and you need to wipe, you've got an emasculated GI tract and that's your own issue. Man up and get your shit (literally) together.
May 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Hosty and Amaz

twitchquotes: "Hey Hosty, I've got some bad news." says Amaz to Hosty. "But I wasn't ghosting I swear!" he replies, sweating heavily. "It's alright, I won't fire you, as long as you do something for me." Hosty knows what Amaz wants. He bends over and lets Amaz have his way. Afterwards, as he cries on the bed, Amaz whispers in his ear, "I lied. You're fired..
twitch chat
January 2015
Amaz

Infinite Cum Part 3

Your release had increased so much that they could no longer contain you. Your cum has consumed the entirety of the cosmos. Humanity is without a shred of doubt, gone. You are alone in the universe. If there were aliens, they are dead now. It’s over. In despair, you mourn the death of the scientists, of humanity, of everyone. You realize you'll never hear her sweet and calming voice, see her proud body. Your sad. Your terrified. Chronicles pass. The last stars in the universe eclipse. You silently watch as the last atoms break into protons, into quarks, into mere beams of weak energy that disperse along the vertical ropes. But the ropes no longer play their docile music. They have gonne silent. You watch, helplessly, as the Last mozon is engulfed into the ever expanding plane of Cum. Your own creation destroys the very own universe, defying the own plan of existence. You are alone. You scream, but nothing comes out of your mouth. You cry, but nothing descends from your eyes. Do you even have eyes? All you can see is the torrid Instotucional white across the whole of the Universe. Entire Gans eclipse before your eyes, but then you realize the horror: The Cum turned against you. With nothing more to consume, your sons turned against their father, and begin to consume you. You tremble. There's nothing to do. The huge weight impacts you like if whole planets fell onto your shoulders. Your alone. In your last moments, a odd sentiment of peace invades you for the first time since the early days of the universe. It's finally gonna end. You think about all the people that you've met during your stay in this universe. In the end, you think about the researcher. About her arms. Her breasts. You feel... good. For the first time in many hipereons. You jack off it. It's so.... good, you come at the right time, freeing the constrained cum from your menber. You open your eyes, and behold the bathroom door. You are Ok. You remember everything. It's all over. You exit the bathroom after jacking off again, going back to your old life. The cum stops.
April 2022

Infinite Cum

Kripp likes his relationships the way he likes games, casual

twitchquotes: 'Pls,' says the Rania, begging Kripp to propose to her. 'My family will be forevr shamed if we no marry.' But the Kripparrian doesn't respond. Instead, he continues playing hearth of stone, the game of casuals. He is too afraid of commitment in a hardcore relationship. Because in the end, the Kripparrian likes his relationships the way he likes his gamesβ€”casual.
twitch chat
July 2014
Kripp

Young pistachio becomes grand old cashew

twitchquotes: Let me tell you a story. I was once a young pistachio like you. But then I saw the light. I saw the kripp and let the kripp into my life. Now I am a grand old cashew with a pepperoni plantation to boot. Don't make the mistake I once did and deny the kripp. Kripp is love. Kripp is life. Praise the Kripp. Amen.
twitch chat
May 2014
Kripp

boatyVV

β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–„β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–„β–„β–„β”€ β”€β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–„β”€β”€β”€β–„β”€β–€β–€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–€β–ˆ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–β–’β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–—β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–›β”€β”€ β”€β”€β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–’β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–’β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ ──────▄▀────────▓─────── β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–’β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–“β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–’β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–€β”€β”€β”€β–„β–„β–„ β”€β–„β–„β”€β–ˆβ–„β–’β–’β–’β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–„β–›β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–„β–„β–ˆ β”€β–ˆβ”€β–€β–ˆβ–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–„β–„β–„β–€β–€β–€β–€β–„β–€β”€ β”€β”€β–ˆβ–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β”€β”€β–„β–„β–„β–€β”€β”€β”€ ───▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀──────
September 2018
Text-to-Speech Playing