[Copypasta] If you're a grown-ass man and you still wipe your ass, you're not a real man.

This should be self-explanatory but apparently, I have to justify myself. There's nothing more feminine than using a product on your body. Makeup is 100% feminine and by the same logic, so is wiping your ass. I haven't wiped my ass in about 4 years, and I've NEVER had any issues. My digestive system is in the top 1% in terms of regularity, functionality, and performance, and I've never once felt the need to "clean up" after myself. If you shit, and you need to wipe, you've got an emasculated GI tract and that's your own issue. Man up and get your shit (literally) together.
May 2021
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠋⠉⠉⠉⠉⠛⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣟⠟⠉⠋⠉⠛⠛⠻⢿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠛⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠹⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡿⠟⠁⠀⢀⡤⠖⠒⠛⠛⠒⠒⠲⠤⣄⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⡿⠃⠀⠀⡔⣁⡤⠖⠒⠛⠛⠛⠛⠒⠒⠤⣉⠳⣆⣠⠞⢉⣁⡤⠤⠤⠤⣀⣀⡉⠛⢶⣄⠀⠀⠘⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⡅⠀⠀⢸⠏⠁⠀⠀⢀⣀⣤⣄⣀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠳⣼⡧⠞⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠓⠦⣙⢦⠀⠀⢰⣿⣿ ⡏⡇⠀⠀⡎⠀⠀⢀⣾⣟⢙⣿⠿⢿⣷⡄⠀⠀⠀⢸⠁⠀⠀⢠⣴⡾⣿⡿⢻⣷⣦⡀⠀⠈⢻⡇⠀⠐⠛⣿ ⠟⠁⠀⠀⢱⠀⠀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣧⣀⣠⣿⣿⠄⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⢠⣿⣇⣀⣼⣷⣾⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⢠⠃⠀⠈⠛⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠱⣤⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠀⠀⣠⣾⣆⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢀⡴⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙ ⣰⠞⠛⠲⢄⡀⠀⠉⠛⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠶⠖⠚⠁⠀⠙⠷⣌⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠋⠀⠀⠀⣀⡤⢤⡀ ⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠢⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⠴⠛⠁⠀⠀⢻ ⠹⣇⠀⢳⣄⡀⠀⠈⠙⠦⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣠⠖⠋⠀⠀⣀⣤⠀⠀⡼ ⠀⠘⣦⠀⠹⣍⠒⠤⣀⡀⠀⠉⠓⠶⠤⣤⣄⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣤⠤⠴⠖⠛⠉⠀⣀⠤⠒⢉⡴⠁⢀⠞⠁ ⠄⠀⠈⠳⣄⠈⠓⢤⡀⠉⠁⠒⠤⢤⣀⡀⠀⠀⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⡠⠤⠒⠉⢁⣠⠖⠁⢀⡴⠋⠀⢀ ⣯⣆⠀⠀⠈⠳⢤⣀⠙⠲⢤⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠀⠀⢀⣀⠴⠒⠉⢀⣤⠞⠁⠀⠀⠠⣾ ⣿⣿⣧⣄⠀⠀⠀⠉⠓⠦⣄⣀⠉⠙⠒⠒⠲⠤⠤⠤⠤⠤⠤⠔⠒⠒⠋⠉⣀⣠⠴⠚⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⡦⣶⠤⣤⣀⡀⠈⠙⠓⠒⠶⠤⠤⠤⣤⠤⠤⠤⠴⠶⠖⠛⠋⠁⠀⠀⢀⣀⠤⠶⣶⣴⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠁⠒⠒⠒⠶⠦⠤⠤⠤⠤⠤⠤⠤⠴⠶⠖⠒⠊⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣶⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿
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June 2021

Pepe

I saw Kripp at the tavern yesterday

twitchquotes: I saw Kripp at the tavern yesterday. I told him it would be cool to see him play arena again. He said, “Why, so you can snipe me at 8 wins?” I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I thought he was going for a brofist, so I extended my hand only to have it slapped away in disgust. Later on I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen murlocs in his hands without paying.
twitch chat
July 2020
Kripp

Hearthstone

GME $1000 IS NOT A MEME

🚀🚀🚀 UPVOTE/GILD SO PEOPLE CAN SEE 🚀🚀🚀 LISTEN TO ME. DO NOT SELL TOMORROW. OR ANY DAY THIS WEEK. Drops are coming. They are counting on fear to beat us. It’s the only weapon they have on us, but it won’t work because we are retarded. The people are finally taking the power back from these boomer hedge fund big money shorting douchebags - the same people who fucked everyone over in 2008 with CDOs and continue to fuck you over to this day. Get ready to make Melvin throat hard retard dick. We only have strength if we stay in this TOGETHER. HOLD THE LINE. THE SHORT SQUEEZE HASNT HAPPENED YET. Don’t pussy out you fucking idiots. $1000 IS NOT A MEME. I love you all, you beautiful autistic bulls. Hang tight while we ride this thing into the FUCKING STRATOSPHERE. APES TOGETHER STRONG 🦍 💎 🚀
January 2021

WallStreetBets

Classic

What the heck did you just flipping say about me, you big meanie?

What the heck did you just flipping say about me, you big meanie? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Tiny Tots Program, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on the girl's bathroom, and I have over 300 confirmed noogies. I am trained in Nerf warfare and I have the most gold stars in the entire kindergarten class. You are nothing to me but just another butthead. I will beat you the heck up with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my dang words. You think you can get away with saying that baloney to me on the glowy type-box? Think again, doodiehead. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of teachers across the USA and your parents are being called to pick you up right now so you better prepare for the spanking, junior. The spanking that wipes out the dumb little thing you call your playtime. You're in big darn trouble, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can wedgie you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed fartfights, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States PTA and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your dorky bottom off the face of the playground, you little poopypants. If only you could have known what serious punishments your little "smartypants" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your goshdarned tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you silly doofus. I will spray boogers all over you and you will cry about it. You're frickin grounded, buttmunch...
August 2021

Navy Seal

TSM logo

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⣴⣾⣿⠟⠋⠄⣠⡄⠄⣿⣿⠄⢠⣄⠄⠙⠻⣿⣷⣦⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⣴⣿⣿⠋⠄⣠⣾⣿⣿⡇⠄⣿⣿⠄⢸⣿⣿⣷⣄⠄⠙⣿⣿⣦⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⣾⣿⠟⠄⣠⣾⣿⠟⣿⣿⡇⠄⣿⣿⠄⢸⣿⡟⢿⣿⣷⣄⠙⢻⣿⣦⠄⠄ ⠄⣾⣿⠋⠄⣾⣿⠟⠁⠄⣿⣿⡇⠄⣿⣿⠄⢸⣿⡇⢸⣿⣿⣿⣦⠈⢻⣿⣧⠄ ⣾⣿⡟⠄⣼⣿⡟⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⡇⠄⣿⣿⠄⢸⣿⡇⢸⣿⣿⠹⣿⣇⠈⢿⣿⣇ ⣿⣿⠁⢀⣿⣿⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⡀⠄⣿⣿⠄⢸⣿⡇⢸⣿⣿⠄⣿⣿⠄⢸⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⣿⣿⠄⢸⣿⡇⢸⣿⣿⠄⣿⣿⠄⢸⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⡇⠄⣿⣿⠄⢸⣿⡇⢸⣿⣿⠄⣿⣿⠄⢸⣿⣿ ⢿⣿⣄⠄⢿⣿⣇⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⡇⠄⣿⣿⠄⢸⣿⡇⢸⣿⣿⠄⣿⠟⢀⣿⣿⠋ ⠈⣿⣿⣄⠈⢿⣿⣄⠄⠄⣿⣿⡇⠄⣿⣿⠄⢸⣿⡇⢸⣿⣿⠄⡟⠄⣼⣿⡟⠄ ⠄⠈⣿⣿⣄⠈⠹⣿⣿⣄⣿⣿⡇⠄⣿⣿⠄⢸⣿⡇⢸⣿⣿⠄⠄⣴⣿⠋⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⢻⣿⣧⡀⠄⠻⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⣿⣿⠄⢸⣿⡇⠸⠋⠄⣠⣾⣿⠋⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⣿⣿⣷⣄⣀⠈⠙⠃⠄⣿⣿⠄⠈⠁⠄⣴⣾⣿⠟⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⣿⣿⠄⢸⣿⣿⠟⠋⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
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November 2020
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