I think my boss might be a communist. So a while ago, I got my first paycheck at my new job at a fast food place. I guess it wasn't too bad, but I did the math and figured out that I sold a lot more food per hour than I got paid for, even when you account for the price of the food. When I tried to talk to him about it, he said we're all part of one big team, but some people get paid more than others. This is suspiciously close to the famous "some are more equal than others" from my favorite book, Animal Farm and is what really got me thinking about this. We make the money, and then he takes it and gives it to someone who doesn't even work! I'm not economist, but this is textbook socialism. I think I've come to the conclusion that the best way for me to combat these socialist business practices would be teaming up with my fellow workers unify our power and demonstrate that we understand the full value of our labor. Anyone else have similar experiences with obviously Marxist bosses before, or any other advice?
What happened to this ad? :(
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Professional headmeat physician
twitchquotes:
Hello Tyler, this is Dhanraj Ameer, the professional headmeat physician, thank you for contacting me last week. My team and I have been looking at x-rays of your skull and we are interested in a procedure that involves taking the head meat from the sides of your head and using it to fill in the dent in the middle. The procedure is popularly known as "Running it down mid". Let me know
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Tyler1
After a good game in csgo, i added him
twitchquotes:
After a good game in csgo, i added him because he seemed like a cool guy. We got chatting, over the next couple of months we became good friends. Lots of banter, lots of great CS and most importantly true friendship. I invited him to my house for a csgo lan party. He said he was coming so i was looking forward to meeting him in real life. When he arrived at my house, he pushed me against the wall and started nibbling my ear. Turns out he was vegan. Don't trust this guy.
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CSGO
Red sus but with emojis (Among Us)
twitchquotes:
Red ๐ด ๐ sus ๐ฆ ๐ฆ. Red ๐ด ๐ด suuuus. I ๐๐ ๐ said ๐ค ๐ฃ ๐ฌ๐ฑ๐ฟ๐ฆ red ๐น ๐ด, sus ๐ฆ ๐ฆ, hahahahaha ๐คฃ ๐คฃ. Why 
arent you ๐๐ฏ ๐ laughing ๐ ๐? I ๐๐ ๐ฅ just made ๐ ๐ a reference ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ to the popular ๐๐๐ ๐ video ๐น ๐น game ๐ฎ ๐ฎ "Among ๐ท๐ด๐ ๐ฐ Us ๐จ ๐จ"! How can you ๐ ๐ not laugh ๐ ๐ at it? Emergeny meeting ๐ฏ ๐ค! Guys ๐ฆ ๐จ, this here guy ๐จ ๐ฑ๐ป๐จ๐ป doesnt laugh ๐คฃ โ๐๐
at my funny ๐๐ ๐บ๐๐ Among ๐ฐ ๐ฐ Us ๐จ ๐จ memes ๐ธ ๐! Lets ๐ ๐ beat โ๐๐ป ๐ฐ๐ him ๐ด ๐จ to death ๐๐ฅโ ๐! Dead ๐๐ โ body ๐ ๐ reported โ ๐ง! Skip ๐ง ๐๐ผ! Skip ๐ง ๐ง! Vote ๐ ๐ blue ๐ ๐! Blue ๐ ๐ was not an impostor ๐ ๐ . Among ๐ ๐๐ฝ๐
ฐ us ๐จ ๐จ in a nutshell ๐ ๐ hahahaha ๐๐๐ ๐. What?! Youre still ๐ค๐ ๐ค๐ not laughing ๐ ๐ your 
ass ๐ ๐
ฐ off ๐ด ๐ดโ ? I ๐ ๐ made ๐ ๐ SEVERAL ๐ฏ ๐ฏ funny ๐๐๐ ๐โ references ๐๐๐ ๐ to Among ๐ฐ ๐๐จโโค๏ธโ๐จ๐ฉโโค๏ธโ๐ฉ Us ๐จ ๐บ๐ธ and YOU ๐๐ผ ๐๐๐ฅ STILL ๐ค๐ ๐ ARENT LAUGHING ๐ ๐๐๐ฆ??!!! Bruh โ ๐ณ๐คฃ๐. Ya ๐๐ผ ๐ hear ๐ ๐ that? Wooooooosh ๐ฆ๐ฝ๐พ ๐ฆ๐ฝ๐พ. Whats ๐ฆ ๐ฆ woooosh ๐ ๐? Oh ๐ ๐, nothing โ ๐ซ. Just the sound ๐ ๐ of a joke ๐ ๐ flying โ โ over ๐ณ๐๐ฆ ๐ your head ๐ ๐. Whats ๐ฆ that? You ๐ think ๐ญ ๐ญ im ๐ ๐ annoying ๐ ๐ ? Kinda ๐
๐
sus ๐ฆ ๐ฆ, bro ๐ ๐โบ๐ฌ. Hahahaha ๐ ๐! Anyway ๐ ๐, yea ๐ ๐ฏ, gotta go ๐ ๐ do tasks โ ๐. Hahahaha ๐ ๐!
arent you ๐๐ฏ ๐ laughing ๐ ๐? I ๐๐ ๐ฅ just made ๐ ๐ a reference ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ to the popular ๐๐๐ ๐ video ๐น ๐น game ๐ฎ ๐ฎ "Among ๐ท๐ด๐ ๐ฐ Us ๐จ ๐จ"! How can you ๐ ๐ not laugh ๐ ๐ at it? Emergeny meeting ๐ฏ ๐ค! Guys ๐ฆ ๐จ, this here guy ๐จ ๐ฑ๐ป๐จ๐ป doesnt laugh ๐คฃ โ๐๐
at my funny ๐๐ ๐บ๐๐ Among ๐ฐ ๐ฐ Us ๐จ ๐จ memes ๐ธ ๐! Lets ๐ ๐ beat โ๐๐ป ๐ฐ๐ him ๐ด ๐จ to death ๐๐ฅโ ๐! Dead ๐๐ โ body ๐ ๐ reported โ ๐ง! Skip ๐ง ๐๐ผ! Skip ๐ง ๐ง! Vote ๐ ๐ blue ๐ ๐! Blue ๐ ๐ was not an impostor ๐ ๐ . Among ๐ ๐๐ฝ๐
ฐ us ๐จ ๐จ in a nutshell ๐ ๐ hahahaha ๐๐๐ ๐. What?! Youre still ๐ค๐ ๐ค๐ not laughing ๐ ๐ your ass ๐ ๐
ฐ off ๐ด ๐ดโ ? I ๐ ๐ made ๐ ๐ SEVERAL ๐ฏ ๐ฏ funny ๐๐๐ ๐โ references ๐๐๐ ๐ to Among ๐ฐ ๐๐จโโค๏ธโ๐จ๐ฉโโค๏ธโ๐ฉ Us ๐จ ๐บ๐ธ and YOU ๐๐ผ ๐๐๐ฅ STILL ๐ค๐ ๐ ARENT LAUGHING ๐ ๐๐๐ฆ??!!! Bruh โ ๐ณ๐คฃ๐. Ya ๐๐ผ ๐ hear ๐ ๐ that? Wooooooosh ๐ฆ๐ฝ๐พ ๐ฆ๐ฝ๐พ. Whats ๐ฆ ๐ฆ woooosh ๐ ๐? Oh ๐ ๐, nothing โ ๐ซ. Just the sound ๐ ๐ of a joke ๐ ๐ flying โ โ over ๐ณ๐๐ฆ ๐ your head ๐ ๐. Whats ๐ฆ that? You ๐ think ๐ญ ๐ญ im ๐ ๐ annoying ๐ ๐ ? Kinda ๐
๐
sus ๐ฆ ๐ฆ, bro ๐ ๐โบ๐ฌ. Hahahaha ๐ ๐! Anyway ๐ ๐, yea ๐ ๐ฏ, gotta go ๐ ๐ do tasks โ ๐. Hahahaha ๐ ๐!
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Among Us / Amogus
Team Dignitas is the Cardashians of league
twitchquotes:
team dignitas is the cardashians of league, they have never managed to accomplish anything but they are somehow popular 
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imaqtpie
League of Legends
โ ๏ธWARNINGโ ๏ธ cock inspection is NOT required at the vaccination sites!!!! don't be tricked like me!!
So I was waiting in line to receive my vaccine when all of a sudden this medical "official" came up to me and said that there was something wrong with my patient registration and asked me to follow him to the back. When we went around back he said that I had to take off my pants and show my cock because penis size is the most accurate way to confirm patient identity. Because I thought he was a medical official I swiftly removed my pants and underwear to show him my member. After he fondled it for a bit he said it was good and I could go back into the line. It was only after I received the vaccine I realized that he forgot to check my balls too!!! He was obviously not certified to check such an area and I immediately contacted the security guards about his presence. Please do not fall for any tricks like I did! stay safe and happy vaccinating!