The FinanceTLDR newsletter is essential reading for the casual investor. Sign up for free.

[Copypasta] You will never be Japanese

You will never be Japanese. You have no ancestry, you have no citizenship, you have no skills that would make Japan ever want you. You are a shut-in self-hating white man twisted by delusions of mythical Japanese superiority and exposure to Japanese media into a disgusting mockery of nature’s perfection. All 'validation' you get from other people in this position couldn't be worse in making you believe that spending years of your life learning a globally useless language to a first-grader's level was a worthwhile use of your time, but one can't expect that an individual as pathetic as you will ever know the value of the youth you threw away in doing that. Actual Japanese are utterly repulsed by you. Thousands of years of linguistic evolution have allowed natives to identify frauds from mannerisms and vocabulary alone. Even if your written text of self-hatred and attention begging akin to a stray dog's somehow passes as normal (it won't), any Japanese person will immediately cut all ties when they hear the voice and accent of someone who is not only a basic Japanese speaker at best, but worth no more than garbage in skills, accomplishments, and likeability. You will never be happy. You wrench out a fake smile and laugh to yourself believing that watching a content creator that you understand 20% of at best is somehow superior than watching your own kind, as you project your disgusting traits onto your entire kind. However, deep inside you feel the depression creeping up like a weed, ready to crush you under the unbearable weight, and you know that. You know that all you do now is have an entirely new linguistic medium in which to be ignored, and not even the exotic trait of being foreign makes up for just how uninteresting of a person you are. Eventually it’ll be too much to bear - you’ll buy a rope, tie a noose, put it around your neck, and plunge into the cold abyss. Your parents will find you, heartbroken but relieved that they no longer have to live with the unbearable shame and disappointment. They’ll bury you with a headstone marked with your birth name, and every passerby for the rest of eternity will know a Western man is buried there. Your body will decay and go back to the dust, and all that will remain of your legacy is a skeleton that is unmistakably Caucasian. This is your fate. This is what you chose. There is no turning back. Hate yourself and apologize for being white to some Japanese entity that exists only in your mind while actual Japanese people put in effort to learn English for the valid reason of it being the global language.
April 2021

Weebs

I used to be a real ad
More Weebs Copypastas

AYAYA RUNNING LOW ON CUTIES

twitchquotes: MOSHI MOSHI 📞 AYAYA RUNNING LOW ON CUTIES 📞 AYAYA NEED BACKUP 📞 AYAYA ARIGATO 📞 AYAYA
twitch chat
April 2019

Weebs

Classic

Not a weeb thing

twitchquotes: ‘not a weeb thing’. try living a day in my shoes, walking around terrified of encountering normal people everywhere i go. wherever i look, people with tv show merch, people speaking english. it makes me and millions of other weebs out there feel really attacked.
twitch chat
February 2019

Weebs

AYAYA NaM tank

twitchquotes: AYAYA █ █ ]▄▄▄▄▄▄▄ 💥 NaM ..............▂▄▅█████████▅▄▃▂ .............███████████████████] .............◥⊙▲⊙▲⊙▲⊙▲⊙▲⊙▲⊙◤
twitch chat
July 2019

Weebs

Is there an anime character stronger than Madara Uchiha?

twitchquotes: Is there an anime character stronger than Madara Uchiha? And I'm referring to Rinne Tensei Madara Uchiha with the Eternal Mangekyou Sharingan and Rinnegan doujutsus (with the rikidou paths ability) equipped with his Gunbai and control of the juubi and Gedou Mazou, a complete Susano'o, with Hashirama Senju's DNA implanted in his chest so he can perform Mokuton kekkei genkai and yin-yang release ninjutsu as well as being extremely skilled in taijutsu and bukijutsu
twitch chat
August 2019

Weebs

A severe lack of cute emotes in chat

twitchquotes: Konichiwa Kripp-kun AYAYA . This is your kawaii kouhai Aya-chan, calling in from Nihon. I have noticed a severe lack of cute emotes in chat tonight, and instead all I see are baka dansgame and baka nammers. This is not very sugoi, and I would appreciate it if your chat showed more respect for Japanese culture by typing kawaii emotes like AYAYA and AstolfoSmile . Arigato gozaimasu <3
twitch chat
February 2019
Kripp

Weebs

Classic

Text-to-Speech Playing