[Copypasta] His name was Norman Reedus

I had this friend who used to brag to us all the time that he could catch his cum in his mouth without fail every time he masturbated. He actually wrote down how many times he successfully did it. 327. I’ll never forget that number. And every day at school, he would talk about this. It was always during lunch my sophomore year of high school, too..so it was extremely unnecessary. He used to always try to demonstrate his techniques with packets of mayonnaise but we’d always threaten to move tables so he’d stop. He was really one of those people who needed attention constantly. Aside from those times at lunch, he was a completely normal dude. Like…even after class we’d ask him about that stuff and be like “dude, what was with that cum stuff at lunch,” and he’d always look at us like we were crazy and say “what the hell are you talking about?” I’ll never forget that classmate. His great personality will always be remember but his perplexing obsession with catching his own ejaculate in his mouth will live on forever at my previous high school. He was a one of a kind guy. His name was Norman Reedus.
April 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

AITA for punching my own son and husband in the face for being NFTphobic?

So I (M 23, black), was walking around my house(2 story) and decided to check how my son (M 14) is doing. I walked into his room(Non binary, Bedroom, 89) and saw him(M 14) screenshotting an nft(red skin, ushanka, lasers from eyes)!!! I (M 24) Immediately (1 year) punched him (m 15) in the face(chipped 2 tooths, minor bruises, broken nose, bleeding from mouth). Unfortunately, my spouse(M 35) came into the room(Bedroom, 90) and called the police(racist)! I punched him(m 35) until his body (White, racist) cracked(i was satisfied, i am bonebreakigender) with an unpleasant sound. Then, two policeman(Racist policeman, M 21, and a policetranswoman F 31) came into my house(2 story) without hesitation(1 year) and locked me(M, 24, black) in a police(racist) car(Ferrari limited edition). Now i(M 24, black) have no one to talk to(prisoners). So, Reddit. AITA?
January 2022

Am I The Asshole?

NFTs

forsenD

⡿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠻⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇ ⣧⣡⣤⡴⠖⣒⣂⠄⡉⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇ ⣿⣿⡇⢴⡌⡀⢨⣤⡡⣨⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇ ⣿⣿⣿⣦⣄⡀⢸⣿⡇⣿⣿⣿⡟⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠛⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⣿⣿⠏⣠⣶⣦⣤⡤⠤⠤⣤⣀⣀⠈⢻⡇ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠂⣿⡏⢠⣿⣿⣿⢡⣬⠉⣑⠂⠉⠻⣿⣿⡇ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⣰⣿⣧⡀⠻⢿⣯⣷⣭⣀⡈⠄⣿⣷⣦⡻⡇ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠋⠉⣉⣉⠄⠹⠋⢀⣀⣴⣶⣄⡈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣦⣵⡆ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⢁⠴⣩⠾⠋⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠄⠄⠈⠙⠿⣦⡈⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⣺⣿⠁⠄⠄⠄⢀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⡀⠄⠄⠈⢿⣾⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⣽⣅⣴⣎⠠⠔⣂⣖⣆⣒⣖⡢⠶⠶⡢⢄⠄⢿⣧⡈⠻⢿⣿⡇ ⣿⣿⣿⡏⢹⡄⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠗⠂⠠⠠⠠⢭⣩⣭⣭⣴⣿⣷⣾⣿⡇⠄⣤⣀⡇ ⣿⣿⣿⣧⣤⡿⢻⣿⣿⣿⣦⣄⣤⡀⠄⠄⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⡿⡀⣾⡿⠛⡁ ⣿⣿⣿⠿⠏⠄⠄⠘⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠄⠄⠫⣠⣾⡇ ⠿⠿⠇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠾⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠹⠿⠇
November 2021
Forsen

Emote

Please don't copy paste or I might get fired

twitchquotes: Hey guys, Im a blizzard employee and I wanted to give all you fellow kripparians a sneak peak at one of our new GvG cards. It's called the coin- 0 mana and if you play it turn 1 as the first player, it randomly selects a player and they automatically win. Hope you are all excited for the new expansion, please don't copy paste or I might get fired.
twitch chat
November 2014
TidesOfTime

Keep it, you need it more with all that salt

twitchquotes: `So today i was in the supermarket going to buy some cheese for the next week before the stores close, got 8 packages of finest Dutch. When i was waiting in line to pay for it a gentleman in front of me collapsed, his wife looked at us and said "He has Hypoglycemia, someone please bring something that contains sugar!!". I immediately ran to the sweets section, after only 1 minute of choosing since i was in a hurry, i went with ice-cream snickers bar and ran back to the register, with my trembling hands i got rid of the plastic cover, i leaned to the old gentleman, when he turned to me: "I know you..." he said "you are that guy from Twitch... Keep it, you need it more with all that salt..." -Forsen 2015
twitch chat
January 2015
Forsen

Twitch chat and Gaben

twitchquotes: (◕_◕)╭∩╮FUCK YOU GABEN (◕_◕)(◕_◕)╭∩╮FUCK YOU GABEN (◕_◕)(◕_◕)╭∩╮FUCK YOU GABEN (◕_◕)(◕_◕)╭∩╮FUCK YOU GABEN (◕_◕)(◕_◕)╭∩╮FUCK YOU GABEN (◕_◕)(◕_◕)╭∩╮FUCK YOU GABEN (◕_◕)(◕_◕)╭∩╮FUCK YOU GABEN (◕_◕)(◕_◕)╭∩╮FUCK YOU GABEN (◕_◕)
twitch chat
February 2016
Dota Major

Dota 2

Text-to-Speech Playing