[Copypasta] His name was Norman Reedus

I had this friend who used to brag to us all the time that he could catch his cum in his mouth without fail every time he masturbated. He actually wrote down how many times he successfully did it. 327. I’ll never forget that number. And every day at school, he would talk about this. It was always during lunch my sophomore year of high school, too..so it was extremely unnecessary. He used to always try to demonstrate his techniques with packets of mayonnaise but we’d always threaten to move tables so he’d stop. He was really one of those people who needed attention constantly. Aside from those times at lunch, he was a completely normal dude. Like…even after class we’d ask him about that stuff and be like “dude, what was with that cum stuff at lunch,” and he’d always look at us like we were crazy and say “what the hell are you talking about?” I’ll never forget that classmate. His great personality will always be remember but his perplexing obsession with catching his own ejaculate in his mouth will live on forever at my previous high school. He was a one of a kind guy. His name was Norman Reedus.
April 2021
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

OkaygeBusiness (fits twitch chat)

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠋⡕⠉⢠⣄⠈⠙⠁⢰⠄⠀⠈ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⠁⠀⠀⠀⡅⠀⣿⠅⠀⠀⢀⠘⠛⣀⣠ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠉⣠⠴⠶⣤⡀⢶⣦⣿⣦⣤⣀⣤⠴⠻⣿⣿⠿⠛ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⣿⠐⢶⣈⠛⠦⣬⣍⣉⣉⣉⣀⣀⣀⣨⡥⠖⣾ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⠙⢷⣄⠉⠓⠶⠤⢤⣬⣭⡭⠭⠭⠷⠖⣒⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⠀⢀⡀⠠⡀⠀⠀⠈⠙⠓⠶⠶⠦⠤⠶⣶⣲⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄⣀⣼⣿⡁⠀⢹⣷⣷⣶⣶⣶⡀⠀⡠⠋⡉⠁⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⡟⢩⡍⠀⠀⠀⠀⣛⠓⣆⠀⠉⢉⣿⡿⠉⢶⠀⠀⠀⠀⠰⢧⣾⡛⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠛⢃⡘⠳⣄⣀⣀⠔⠻⣀⠛⠒⣶⣯⠛⢷⣤⡈⣷⠂⢀⡟⢁⠼⠟⠋⢿⣿⣿⣿ ⠐⠚⠓⠒⠒⠛⠒⠒⠒⠒⠒⣾⣿⣿⠀⠀⠙⢿⣾⣷⣮⣴⠗⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠤⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⣿⡏⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠈⠁⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠉⠉⢻⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿
October 2021

Pepe

No longer afford drugs after playing Star Wars Force Arena

twitchquotes: (sponsored viewer): My dad has been struggling with drug addiction for the last 20 years. After I showed him this game, he can no longer afford drugs! Thank you Star Wars™: Force Arena! SeemsGood
twitch chat
February 2017
Kripp

sellout

Salty tofu

twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Frodan, be nicer to Kripp

twitchquotes: "Frodan, be nicer to Kripp," Reynad says in his office at Tempo Storm HQ. "I was just having a laugh," replies Frodan. "I know, but he's a casual and sensitive. Apologize to him. I'm inviting him over to 'cast' a 'tournament' and want him in a good mood," Reynad winks. Frodan bows and says, "Yes master."
twitch chat
January 2015
Reynad

Hearthstone

Reynad's peak performance in salt manufacturing

twitchquotes: Hello Reynad I am Terry Davison from the Texas Salt making factory. Our buisness would like to invest in your salt revenues as we have sensed a peak performance. Pls no pepper.
twitch chat
April 2014
Reynad
Text-to-Speech Playing