[Copypasta] His name was Norman Reedus

I had this friend who used to brag to us all the time that he could catch his cum in his mouth without fail every time he masturbated. He actually wrote down how many times he successfully did it. 327. I’ll never forget that number. And every day at school, he would talk about this. It was always during lunch my sophomore year of high school, too..so it was extremely unnecessary. He used to always try to demonstrate his techniques with packets of mayonnaise but we’d always threaten to move tables so he’d stop. He was really one of those people who needed attention constantly. Aside from those times at lunch, he was a completely normal dude. Like…even after class we’d ask him about that stuff and be like “dude, what was with that cum stuff at lunch,” and he’d always look at us like we were crazy and say “what the hell are you talking about?” I’ll never forget that classmate. His great personality will always be remember but his perplexing obsession with catching his own ejaculate in his mouth will live on forever at my previous high school. He was a one of a kind guy. His name was Norman Reedus.
April 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

time for u to stop using this copypasta

what time is it? 12 11 ^ 1 10 | 2 time for u 9 ⊙————> to stop 8 4 using this 7 5 copypasta 6
January 2021

Classic

i will cry on reddit and type a 10 page essay about how you guys are filthy degenerates

twitchquotes: Filthy degenerates throwing money at filthy degenerates behaviour. what filthy casuals you are throwing money and subbing at bad behaviour now i will cry on reddit and type a 10 page essay about how you guys are filthy degenerates because you support these stupid fistings and casual behaviour 凸 ◉_◔༽凸
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp

All I want to do is spam xqcL

twitchquotes: Guys, I'm very sad. All I want to do is spam xqcL and spread happiness to the world of Twitch, but I can't do that if I don't have a xQc subscription. If anyone here would look deep in to their heart and ask themselves "can I do my part and help others join the jungle? Yes! Yes I can! I will gift this poor soul a subbie so they can spread love like everyone else widepeepoHappy ". Please take heed to what I have spoken and consider helping a friend out. xqcL
twitch chat
September 2019
xQcOW

0-10 IN GROUPS, FASTEST INTERNATIONAL B05

twitchquotes: KEKW 0-10 IN GROUPS KEKW FASTEST INTERNATIONAL B05 LOSS TO EU KEKW NEVER WON WORLDS KEKW NEVER WON MSI KEKW IRRELEVANT SINCE S1 KEKW OBSESSED WITH EU KEKW 0 TEAMS OUT OF GROUPS KEKW TSM XD KEKW NA OMEGALUL Clap
twitch chat
April 2020
LCS

League of Legends

EU vs NA

I fucking hate Stuart Little

twitchquotes: I fucking hate Stuart Little. I know what you’re thinking, this is some kind of funny joke, but no. Stuart Little is a piece of shit. A damn rat got picked over actual children at an orphanage and he’s supposed to be a hero? And I can’t even tell you how many damn times I’ve seen a great parking space only to turn the corner and realise Stuart Little is already parked there in his stupid little fucking convertible. He took my wife and the kids and my house and my job. I swear to fucking god, I’m going to kill myself and take that goddamn rodent to hell with me. Stuart Little has ruined my family. Last summer, I approached the miserable mouse in the street, and asked him for his autograph, because my son is a huge fan. The fucking rat gave me the autograph and told me to burn in hell. Later, when I gave my son the autograph he started crying and said he hated me. Turns out the mousefucker didnt write his autograph, no, he wrote “you’re a piece of shit, and i fucked your mom”. I’m now divorced, and planning a huge class-action lawsuit against the white devil that ruined my life. Your time is almost over, Stuart. All the people you’ve wronged will rise against you.
twitch chat
May 2020
Text-to-Speech Playing