[Copypasta] His name was Norman Reedus

I had this friend who used to brag to us all the time that he could catch his cum in his mouth without fail every time he masturbated. He actually wrote down how many times he successfully did it. 327. I’ll never forget that number. And every day at school, he would talk about this. It was always during lunch my sophomore year of high school, too..so it was extremely unnecessary. He used to always try to demonstrate his techniques with packets of mayonnaise but we’d always threaten to move tables so he’d stop. He was really one of those people who needed attention constantly. Aside from those times at lunch, he was a completely normal dude. Like…even after class we’d ask him about that stuff and be like “dude, what was with that cum stuff at lunch,” and he’d always look at us like we were crazy and say “what the hell are you talking about?” I’ll never forget that classmate. His great personality will always be remember but his perplexing obsession with catching his own ejaculate in his mouth will live on forever at my previous high school. He was a one of a kind guy. His name was Norman Reedus.
April 2021
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

Athens Police arrests two Twitch streamers

twitchquotes: Today Athens Police arrested two men, famous on the internet site Twitch. This "Trump" and "Kripp" were having sex in public, over what seemed to be the dead body of a cat that was backstabbed. Both men referred to the dead cat as "Caterrian". Their one phone call was made to the leading salt exporter "Reynad". More news at 10
twitch chat
May 2015
Reynad

#GamersRiseUp

twitchquotes: We live in a society... a society of GAMERS. And it's time for us gamers to advance to the Next Level⬆️⏫ 🎮! We will use our skills and abilities that we developed📝and trained💪 throughout the years of Intense. Competitive. GAMING!!! If you don't like it... TOO BAD 😝. You used to dunk our heads into the toilet🤢🚽. But now we will dunk you into the afterlife 😧🔫💀🙏 #GamersRiseUp
twitch chat
November 2018

Mona Lisa

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣟⣛⡻⢿⣻⡿⠛⢹⢮⠄⢀⠌⠈⠂⠑⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠽⠿⢫⢽⣯⣿⣾⣿⣝⢻⢓⢾⡗⠘⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀⣈⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣿⡯⡯⠽⠋⠛⠛⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣤⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣽⣿⣿⣿⣯⢩⣬⣋⣹⣏⠁⢈⠀⡐⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣼⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⠿⠻⢣⡨⡍⣉⡈⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣾⠿⠛⠉⠁⠀⠀⠈⠉⠉⠙⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠁⠐⠘⠳⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⡿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣼⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⣿⣿⡿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⢴⣒⣲⣄⠀⠀⢀⣾⡿⣓⣒⣲⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⠙⠋⠙⠛⠛⠀⠀⢸⠟⠉⠀⠙⠛⠿⠛⠉⢙⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣀⣀⡀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⡀⢀⠀⡀⠀ ⣅⣀⣀⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠄⡜⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣤⣶⣾⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡑⡒⠐⠑⠀⢷ ⣿⣵⣶⣿⣯⣾⣢⠵⡤⢉⠥⣀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠀⢀⣀⣀⢉⣋⣡⣤⣤⠀⠀⠀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠁⣠⣴ ⣿⣿⣟⢻⠝⠛⠃⠀⢖⠀⢄⣄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄⠀⠀⠀⢬⣭⣽⠋⠀⠀⠀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣷⣑⣀⣁⠘⠍⠲⣮⡴⠡⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣯⣋⡋⠳⢈⠀⢨⢠⠒⡆⠒⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⣤⣤⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣟⣶⣾⣶⢶⢠⡠⡄⣽⣾⣣⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⡿⣿⣭⡷⣷⣷⣿⣷⣶⣌⣬⣽⣾⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡉⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠟⠃⠀⠀⠀⠉⠙⠛⠛⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠛⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
May 2021

My name is Van, I'm an artist

twitchquotes: My name is Van, I'm an artist, I'm a performance artist. I'm hired to people to fulfill their fantasies, their deep dark fantasies. I was gonna be a movie star y'know, modeling and acting. After a hundred and two additions and small parts I decided y'know I had enough, Then I got in to Escort world. The client requests contain a lot of fetishes, so I just decided to go y'know... full ♂Master♂ and change my entire house into a dungeon... ♂Dungeon♂Master♂ now with a full dungeon in my house and It's going really well. Fisting is 300 bucks and usually the guy is pretty much hard on pop to get really relaxed y'know and I have this long latex glove that goes all the way up to my armpit and then I put on a surgical latex glove up to my wrist and just lube it up and it's a long process y'know to get your whole arm up there but it's an intense feeling for the other person I think for myself too, you go in places that even though it's physical with your hand but for some reason it's also more emotional it's more psychological too and we both get you know to the same place it's really strange at the same time and I find sessions like that really exhausting. I don't know I feel kinda naked because I am looking at myself for the first time, well not myself but this aspect of my life for the first time and it's been harsh... three to five years already? I never thought about it... Kinda sad I feel kinda sad right now, I don't know why
twitch chat
August 2019

Kripp's sonnerino

twitchquotes: Kʀɪᴘᴘ, ɪᴛ's ʏᴏᴜʀ sᴏɴɴᴇʀɪɴᴏ ғʀᴏᴍ ᴛʜᴇ ғᴜᴛᴜʀᴇ, ᴄᴏɴᴄᴇɪᴠᴇᴅ ɪɴ Gʀᴇᴇᴄᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ɴɪɢʜᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ᴀɴᴅ Tʀᴜᴍᴘ's ᴅᴏɴɢᴇʀs ᴛᴏᴜᴄʜᴇᴅ. Yᴏᴜ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴄᴏɴᴛʀᴀᴄᴛᴇᴅ ᴀ ʜɪɢʜʟʏ ʟᴇɢᴀʟ ғᴏʀᴍ ᴏғ ᴀɪᴅs ᴛʜᴀᴛ sᴏᴏɴ ɪɴғᴇᴄᴛ ᴇᴀʀᴛʜᴇʀɪɴᴏ. Tʜᴇ ᴏɴʟʏ ᴄᴜʀᴇ ɪs ᴀ ᴘʜᴇʀᴏᴍᴏɴᴇ sᴇᴄʀᴇᴛᴇᴅ ғʀᴏᴍ ᴏɴʟʏ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴋɴᴇᴇ. Pᴀᴘᴀ, ʏᴏᴜ ᴍᴜsᴛ ʟɪᴄᴋ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴋɴᴇᴇ! Pʟs ɴᴏ ғᴇᴛᴛᴜᴄᴄɪɴᴏ ᴀʟғᴀ ʀᴏᴍᴇᴏ
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing