[Copypasta] His name was Norman Reedus

I had this friend who used to brag to us all the time that he could catch his cum in his mouth without fail every time he masturbated. He actually wrote down how many times he successfully did it. 327. I’ll never forget that number. And every day at school, he would talk about this. It was always during lunch my sophomore year of high school, too..so it was extremely unnecessary. He used to always try to demonstrate his techniques with packets of mayonnaise but we’d always threaten to move tables so he’d stop. He was really one of those people who needed attention constantly. Aside from those times at lunch, he was a completely normal dude. Like…even after class we’d ask him about that stuff and be like “dude, what was with that cum stuff at lunch,” and he’d always look at us like we were crazy and say “what the hell are you talking about?” I’ll never forget that classmate. His great personality will always be remember but his perplexing obsession with catching his own ejaculate in his mouth will live on forever at my previous high school. He was a one of a kind guy. His name was Norman Reedus.
April 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Yamas! This is Mr OpieOP's Greek Restaurant

twitchquotes: Yᴀᴍᴀs! ᴛʜɪs ɪs ᴍʀ. OpieOP 's ɢʀᴇᴇᴋ ʀᴇsᴛᴀᴜʀᴀɴᴛ. Fᴏʀ ᴀ ʟɪᴍɪᴛᴇᴅ ᴛɪᴍᴇ ᴏɴʟy, yᴏᴜ ᴄᴀɴ ɢᴇᴛ ᴀ ʟᴀʀɢᴇ ᴛᴢᴀᴛᴢɪᴋɪ ᴩɪᴢᴢᴀ ᴀɴᴅ ᴀ ᴍᴇᴅɪᴜᴍ sᴇʀᴠɪɴɢ ᴏF ᴏᴜᴢᴏ Fᴏʀ ᴏɴʟy 4.20 $! ᴛᴏ ʙᴇ ᴇʟɪɢɪʙʟᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴛʜɪs ᴏFFᴇʀ, ᴛyᴩᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ᴄᴏᴅᴇ "Opie OP" (ɴᴏ sᴩᴀᴄᴇ) ɪɴᴛᴏ ᴛʜᴇ ᴄʜᴀᴛ. sᴇᴇ yᴏᴜ ᴀᴛ ᴍy ʀᴇsᴛᴀᴜʀᴀɴᴛ!
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Twin Towers

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April 2018

swenpai pweasey weasy cwan i bwe punished?

o-o-owo swenpai pweasey weasy cwan i bwe punished? (•ω•) pwease sway wes im hworny ;3 i want-want ywou to gwo h-hard and f-f-f-f-f-fast....ah~ >/////< oh sweet mwother owf onii-chan.....AH~ it hwurts swenpai :( but i wove it ;3
August 2021

UwU

NSFW

I LOVE MORBIUS

⠀⠀⢰⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠸⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⢀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣀⣀⠀⢀⣀⠀⠀⠀⣀⡀⢀⣀⣀⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⢸⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⠟⠉⠉⢻⣧⠈⣿⣇⠀⢠⡿⠀⢸⡏⠉⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⢸⣿⠀⠀⠀⠸⣿⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⠀⠘⣿⣀⣾⠇⠀⢸⡿⠛⠛⠛⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⢸⣿⣤⣤⣤⠀⠻⣷⣤⣤⡾⠏⠀⠀⠹⣿⡟⠀⠀⢸⣷⣤⣤⣤⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⢸⣿⡇⠀⢸⣿⣿⠀⣠⡾⠿⠿⢷⣄⠀⣿⡿⠿⠿⣷⡄⠀⣿⠿⠿⢿⣦⠀⢸⣿⠀⣿⡇⠀⠀⣿⡇⠀⣶⠿⠿⣷⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⢸⡿⣿⡀⣾⢸⣿⢠⣿⡇⠀⠀⢘⣿⡄⣿⣧⣤⣤⡾⠃⠀⣿⣦⣤⣾⣟⠀⢸⣿⠀⣿⡇⠀⠀⣿⡇⠀⠻⣷⣦⣤⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⢸⡇⢹⣷⡇⢸⣿⠀⢿⣇⣀⣀⣸⡿⠀⣿⡇⠈⠻⣷⡀⠀⣿⣀⣀⣀⣿⡇⢸⣿⠀⢿⣇⡀⣀⣿⠀⠰⣦⣀⢀⣹⡗⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠘⠃⠈⠛⠁⠘⠛⠀⠀⠙⠛⠛⠋⠀⠀⠙⠃⠀⠀⠙⠓⠀⠛⠛⠛⠛⠋⠀⠘⠛⠀⠈⠙⠛⠛⠋⠀⠀⠉⠛⠛⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣤⣶⣤⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⢀⣠⡴⠾⠃⠘⠛⢀⡿⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠛⠿⣦⣄⡀⢀⣀⠉⢻⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠁⠈⠻⠶⠿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
July 2022

Morbius

This is Noah Legerino, CEO of Never Legend Incorporated

twitchquotes: Hello Kripparino, this is Noah Legerino, CEO of Never Legend Incorporated©. As you may already know, we are requiring you to change your Twitch name to hl_kripp (has legend) as you no longer are a "never legend". This was stated in the contract you signed under section 6 article 9 paragraph 420. This is to be enforced immediately.
twitch chat
August 2015
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing