[Copypasta] His name was Norman Reedus

I had this friend who used to brag to us all the time that he could catch his cum in his mouth without fail every time he masturbated. He actually wrote down how many times he successfully did it. 327. I’ll never forget that number. And every day at school, he would talk about this. It was always during lunch my sophomore year of high school, too..so it was extremely unnecessary. He used to always try to demonstrate his techniques with packets of mayonnaise but we’d always threaten to move tables so he’d stop. He was really one of those people who needed attention constantly. Aside from those times at lunch, he was a completely normal dude. Like…even after class we’d ask him about that stuff and be like “dude, what was with that cum stuff at lunch,” and he’d always look at us like we were crazy and say “what the hell are you talking about?” I’ll never forget that classmate. His great personality will always be remember but his perplexing obsession with catching his own ejaculate in his mouth will live on forever at my previous high school. He was a one of a kind guy. His name was Norman Reedus.
April 2021
I used to be a real ad
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TSM, aka "Tiananmen Square Massacre"

twitchquotes: TSM, aka "Tiananmen Square Massacre", is a myth propogated by Western governments to destabilize China. The hoax supposedly involved military suppression of democracy protesters using troops and tanks in June of 1989.
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November 2019

You are NOT a closer

It's SURPRISING that QT lives at your house. I don't know HOW you closed that deal cause you've never closed anything EVER. You're not a closer. You're a relief pitcher AT MAX. You're not a fucking clos- you don't got the ICE COLD VEINS like ME that I was BORN WITH to COMPETE. You're a 6th/7th inning PITCHER! You pitch those 1 2 innings FOR ME. So mango can come in and CLOSE THE DEAL. Cause I'M A CLOSER.
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forsenLevel

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠉⠁⠄⢀⣤⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣤⣄⠄⠈⢿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⣼⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢃⡀⠂⠄⠄⠄⠄⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⡶⠤⣬⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣾⣏⣀⣿⣿⣿⢳⣤⣜⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣁⣸⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠾⠯⣭⣿⣷⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠄⠙⡿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⢿⣿⣽⣿⠄⠐⢦⣴⣶⢚⠋⠄⠄⣁⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠁⠉⠁⠄⠄⠄⠸⢷⣾⡄⠄⠄⢸⣿ ⣿⣿⠿⠛⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢿⠇⠄⠄⢸⣿ ⠋⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⣧⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣸⣿
April 2022
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Emote

Crab

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Caleb, this is Tom from LA Fitness

twitchquotes: Caleb, this is Tom from LA Fitness: we want you to know you are forever banned from our facilities. We understand you take your workout seriously, but what you and your "friends" did in the showers had no cardiovascular value. I know you said you were "working each others glutes", but we both know that's a lie. What you did with the curl bar was disgusting, and our staff is STILL trying to scrub lubricant and bodily fluids off the ceiling. We have added a "Caleb Alarm", don't return.
twitch chat
January 2020
Calebhart42

KappaPride

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