[Copypasta] I'm a teacher but I'm treated like I'm a streamer

twitchquotes: I'm a teacher, middle school ages, we have a gaming club in our school. Most of the kids are vocal about watching Twitch, who their favorite streamers are and when playing games the would suggest who to watch to get better at a game, e.g. watch Hashinshin to improve at League etc. Now when the kids come to the gaming club they no longer ask about games, they all just chant 'Miss, get your tits out, get your tits out, get your tits out for the lads' or 'Miss, I'll pay you a dollar to show me your feet' or 'Miss, how much too see your butthole' or 'Miss, I'll gift 50 subs if you get your tits out now' or 'Miss, the lads need those big juicy milf titties out' or 'Miss, get your tits out or I'll bring a gun to school tomorrow'. It's getting a bit tiresome, will Twich Tv ever do anything about this epidemic?
twitch chat
April 2021
What happened to this ad? :(
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War Thunder is like playing chess

It's not that the game is addicting, it's just that there are no decent alternatives. War Thunder is basically the intellectual version of the FPS games that all the stupid children and mongoloid brains play. Instead of just being based purely on twitch "skills" which require as much intellectual ability as closing popup spam windows, in War Thunder you have to use at least some tactics and strategy. FPS games are like playing Pong on high speed. War Thunder is like playing chess. The art of gaming is simply dead for big brains. 20 years ago there were tons of games that required brainpower because PC gaming back then was by nerds and for nerds, but then the corporate suits took over and were like "broaden the appeal to we can make more sales" so everything got dumbed down to the lowest common denominator. My GF asked me if I was "having fun" playing War Thunder, and I looked at her like she was a fucking retard to even consider that sentence a valid question. I don't have FUN playing War Thunder. This game routinely pisses me off and makes me rage. However, when I stomp the entire enemy team and crush them so utterly I can hear the lamentations of their mothers, I feel satisfaction. I spent weeks grinding for Operation Winter. The vikings had a word for this. They called it Valhalla. Endless war. Endless combat. Knowing only victory and death. Bathing in the blood of your enemies. You get 15 kills and bask in glory and rewards, and think: what should I do now? Should I get in my Honda Fit and tour the local strip mall for my Triumph? Should I microwave some tendies and throw myself a great Feast? But there is only one option. There is only ever one option. To Battle! Various cultures have alternatively described the gameplay loop of War Thunder as their vision of Heaven or Hell. It is both.
January 2021

Uncle Moe Lester

twitchquotes: @Imaqtpie My niece turn 14 today and she's watching your stream Can you please say "Happy birthday Lea from uncle Moe Lester" ?
twitch chat
November 2014
imaqtpie

FeelsRainMan

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠻⠿⣿⡇⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣮⡙⠿⣿ ⣾⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠖⠀⣀⡈⢭⣉⠩⣭⣉⣐⠈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣌ ⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣮⠙⢋⣴⠞⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡌⢿⣿⣿⣷⣦⡉⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣷⣦⡙⢿⠟⣡⣾⣶⡌⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣉⠻⢿⣿⡌⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣙⠿⣿ ⢿⣿⠟⣡⣾⣿⣿⣿⠇⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣍⠻⠌⣿⣿⡿⢟⣛⣛⣭⣭⣥⣌ ⡶⢀⣾⠿⠿⠿⢿⣿⢀⡿⠿⠛⠋⠉⠉⠀⢴⣶⣬⣬⣈⣵⣾⣦⡙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣥⣥⣶⠖⠀⠀⠤⠂⠀⠒⠠⢥⡠⠤⠤⢄⡈⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡙⢿⣿⣿ ⢿⡿⢫⠀⠀⠀⢀⡤⠦⠂⠉⠉⠵⠄⠤⠀⠐⠒⠌⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣿⣿ ⡆⠁⠀⠀⠀⠛⠋⠤⣶⠆⠂⠍⠻⢷⣾⡏⠑⠀⢹⡷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠐⠒⡒⠖⠂⠁⠀⣀⡀⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣌⡙⢿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢷⣝⣒⣶⠦⠤⣤⣤⣤⡤⠤⠤⢶⣹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠑⠤⠀⠀⠈⠉⠉⠙⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠉⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣇⠀⠠⣀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⢴⣾⡇⠀⠀⠀⢛⢛⣿⡉⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠿⠷⠦⠈⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠷⠤⠀⠘⡇⠀⠀⣿⣶⣿⣿⣿⣧⡙⢿⣿⣿⣿
ascii art
September 2020

Pepe

When chugging RedBull™ I have more energy to stream

twitchquotes: When chugging RedBull™ I have more energy to stream. When my friend drank the competition's Monster energy drink he literally died. RedBull™ however keeps me full of energy and ready to stream. RedBull™ RedBull™ RedBull™
twitch chat
May 2015
Reynad

sellout

your streams lately have really helped me

twitchquotes: hey [streamer], your streams lately have really helped me with my depression, bleakness, dejection, distress, sorrow, my car trouble, my 401k, my grades, my slimp dick, my underperforming AMD driver, the armenian genocide, the galloping campaign, the war in the vietnamese, oh god they are in the trees, the battle of antietam, the housing crisis of 2008, the bankruptcy of greece in 2015, the explosion of chernobyl, my late grandma denise
twitch chat
December 2020
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