[Copypasta] Logan Paul apology script

Dear Internet, Where do I begin... Let's start with this -I'm sorry. This is a first for me. I've never faced criticism like this before, because I've never made a mistake like this before. I'm surrounded by good people and believe I make good decisions, but I'm still a human being. I can be wrong. I didn't do it for views. I get views. I did it because I thought I could make a positive ripple on the internet, not cause a monsoon of negativity. That's never the intention. I intended to raise awareness for suicide and suicide prevention and while I thought "if this video saves just ONE life, it'll be worth it," I was misguided by shock and awe, as portrayed in the video. I still am. I do this sh*t every day. I've made a 15 minute TV show EVERY SINGLE DAY for the past 460+ days. One may understand that it's easy to get caught up in the moment without fully weighing the possible ramifications. I'm often reminded of how big of a reach I truly have & with great power comes great responsibility... for the first time in my life I'm regretful to say I handled that power incorrectly. It won't happen again. I love everyone. I believe in people. I'm out here. Peace #Logang4Life
March 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Destroy and obliterate the Economy of Turkey

twitchquotes: As I have stated strongly before, and just to reiterate, if Turkey does anything that I, in my great and unmatched wisdom, consider to be off limits, I will totally destroy and obliterate the Economy of Turkey (I’ve done before!). They must, with Europe and others, watch over the captured ISIS fighters and families. The U.S. has done far more than anyone could have ever expected, including the capture of 100% of the ISIS Caliphate. It is time now for others in the region, some of great wealth, to protect their own territory. THE USA IS GREAT!
twitch chat
October 2019

His name was Norman Reedus

I had this friend who used to brag to us all the time that he could catch his cum in his mouth without fail every time he masturbated. He actually wrote down how many times he successfully did it. 327. I’ll never forget that number. And every day at school, he would talk about this. It was always during lunch my sophomore year of high school, too..so it was extremely unnecessary. He used to always try to demonstrate his techniques with packets of mayonnaise but we’d always threaten to move tables so he’d stop. He was really one of those people who needed attention constantly. Aside from those times at lunch, he was a completely normal dude. Like…even after class we’d ask him about that stuff and be like β€œdude, what was with that cum stuff at lunch,” and he’d always look at us like we were crazy and say β€œwhat the hell are you talking about?” I’ll never forget that classmate. His great personality will always be remember but his perplexing obsession with catching his own ejaculate in his mouth will live on forever at my previous high school. He was a one of a kind guy. His name was Norman Reedus.
April 2021

Sleeping naked is a power move anyways

Sleeping naked is a power move anyways. β€’ ⁠Burglar breaks in boom I’m up and naked. He’s too distracted trying to determine if I’m a man or woman because of my massive bush to notice me reaching for my glock fawty. ⁠‒ ⁠When I pee or poop in my sleep from the nightmares I don’t get any clothes dirty just the sheets. β€’ ⁠Save money on not having to run an AC in the summer time so I can buy my wife more lingerie for her boyfriend to appreciate.
August 2021

Fluttershy

β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–Œβ–’β–Œβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“ β–“ β–“β–“β–“β–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–Œβ–’β–Œβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–„β–’β–“β–“β–“β–“ β–“β–“β–“β–‘β–β–Œβ–‘β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–β–’β–’β–’β–’β–“β–“ β–“β–“β–’β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–“ β–“β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–€β–€β–Œβ–’β–’ β–“β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–’β–’β–’β–Œβ–’ β–’β–’β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–β–’β–’ β–’β–β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–β–’β–’β–’ ▒▒▐▒▒░░░░▀▀▀▀░░░░▒▒▒▐▒▒▓ ▒▒▒▐▒▒░░░░░░░░░░░░▒▐▒▒▓▓ ▒▒▒▒▐▒▒░░░░░░░▐▄░▒▐▒▓▓▓▓ β–“β–’β–’β–’β–’β–Œβ–’β–’β–‘β–“β–“β–“β–“β–’β–’β–’β–’β–€β–’β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“ ▓▓▒▒▒▐▒▒░▓▓▓▒▒▒▐▀▓▓▓▓▓▓▓
November 2014

Enjoy your ban and never come here again

twitchquotes: hey guys when i ban ur ass for posting fucking stupid ass spam dont fucking come to me crying "wahh hwahh i got banned i wasnt doing anything i just asked what build he was going" no u didnt ask that shit u fucking posted huge ass copypasta enjoy ur fucking ban and never come here again
twitch chat
August 2014
imaqtpie
Text-to-Speech Playing