[Copypasta] Logan Paul apology script

Dear Internet, Where do I begin... Let's start with this -I'm sorry. This is a first for me. I've never faced criticism like this before, because I've never made a mistake like this before. I'm surrounded by good people and believe I make good decisions, but I'm still a human being. I can be wrong. I didn't do it for views. I get views. I did it because I thought I could make a positive ripple on the internet, not cause a monsoon of negativity. That's never the intention. I intended to raise awareness for suicide and suicide prevention and while I thought "if this video saves just ONE life, it'll be worth it," I was misguided by shock and awe, as portrayed in the video. I still am. I do this sh*t every day. I've made a 15 minute TV show EVERY SINGLE DAY for the past 460+ days. One may understand that it's easy to get caught up in the moment without fully weighing the possible ramifications. I'm often reminded of how big of a reach I truly have & with great power comes great responsibility... for the first time in my life I'm regretful to say I handled that power incorrectly. It won't happen again. I love everyone. I believe in people. I'm out here. Peace #Logang4Life
March 2021
https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/logan-pauls-suicide-forest-video
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Pickpocket hot tip

twitchquotes: Hot tip: When someone yells pickpocket start searching for your wallet in the groin area and exclaim 'Thank God my wallet is safely tucked between my testicles'. The pickpocket will see this and assume that the wallet is there. These people usually have very supple and delicate hands so when they try to take your wallet you will instead get a pleasant fondling to your genital area.
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January 2019

Classic

Kirby with gun

โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–„โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–‘ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–‘ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–„โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ”€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ”€โ–ˆโ–‘ โ”€โ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ”€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ”€โ–ˆโ–‘ โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘ โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘ โ–’โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–’โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–‘ โ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–’โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–‘ โ–’โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–’โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘ โ–„โ–’โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–’โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–€โ–„โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–€โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘ โ–ˆโ–’โ–€โ–€โ–’โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘ โ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ”€โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–€โ–„โ–“โ–“โ–„โ–„โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–„โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–€โ–„โ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–„โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ”€โ–„โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–„โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–„โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘
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Nice opinion, but it's wrong

Nice opinion, just one tiny problem with it. Inspecting your post, it looks like your opinion is different from mine. Let me tell you something, I am the baseline for opinions. Any opinion I hold is objectively correct and as a result, any other opinions are wrong. Guess what? You happen to hold the wrong one! I hope you know that your opinion is now illegal. I have contacted the FBI, CIA, the NSA, the navy seals, secret service, and your mom. You'll be sorry you ever shared your opinions, by the time you're reading this, you'll be done for. Nature will punish you. Humanity will punish you. supernatural beings will punish you. Space will punish you. We decided just to make sure we'll nuke your house from orbit. So there's no chance you can run away, everyone will know you will die. It's a small price to pay, to remove your wrong opinion from this world.
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I'm Johnny Pasterino from the Department of Legends

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twitchquotes: LCS, aka "Lowest Championship Series", is a League for Riot Games that is often ridiculed for it's ARAM games and questionable Pyke and Jayce games. It is specifically known for it's losing in the fastest international Best of Five
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