gurl was walkin2 skewl wit her bf n they were crossin da rode.
she sed "bbz will u luv me 4evr"
he said "NO.." ... da gurl cryed N ran across da rode b4 da green man came on the sine.
boy was cryin and went to pic up her body.
she was ded.
he whispered 2 her corpse "I ment 2 sey i will luv u FIVE-ever..." (dat mean he luv her moar den 4evr)
xxx~*...LIKE DIS IF U CRY EVRY TIME...~*xxx
I used to be a real ad
More Classic Copypastas
Rank one is the other way
twitchquotes:
um... e-excuse me mr. imaqtpie... r-rank one is the other way 
um... e-excuse me mr. imaqtpie... r-rank one is the other way
twitch chat
imaqtpie
Classic
League of Legends
roleplay with you as your online gf
twitchquotes:
I just have seen your stream and wanted to say that I thought you were super adorable. you don’t know me at all and i know it’s kinda weird. I just thought maybe it’d be fun to roleplay with you as your online gf maybe? I know you’re straight. I’m a boy that’s why I was saying roleplay.. this isn’t a troll. again, I know it’s really random and weird. I’m sorry. It would just be a fun online relationship - nothing serious and I could donate to you and your stream and support you and just be here
twitch chat
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Unbench the kench
twitchquotes:
UNROLL THE TADPOLE 
UNCLOG THE FROG UNLOAD THE TOAD UNINHIBIT THE RIBBIT UNSTICK THE LICK UNIMPRISON THE AMPHIBIAN UNMUTE THE NEWT UNBENCH THE KENCH PERMIT THE KERMIT DEFOG THE POLLIWOG
UNCLOG THE FROG UNLOAD THE TOAD UNINHIBIT THE RIBBIT UNSTICK THE LICK UNIMPRISON THE AMPHIBIAN UNMUTE THE NEWT UNBENCH THE KENCH PERMIT THE KERMIT DEFOG THE POLLIWOG
twitch chat
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Oh my gourd, I am financially ruined (agricultural futures)
I have lost everything, and I'm not sure how to continue. This summer I invested $17,500 (six months salary and my entire life savings) into ornamental gourd futures, hoping to capitalize on this lucrative emerging industry. After watching a video about Vincent Kosuga and his monopoly on onions, I decided I'd try to do something similar with another vegetable. I did some research and found out many agricultural forecasters expected this year's gourd yield would be far smaller than the past, due to deteriorating soil conditions in central Mexico and a warmer-than-average spring. At first, demand soared around Halloween and prices skyrocketed, but the gourd bubble burst on November 12th. Unfortunately, the coronavirus caused a massive drop-off in demand due to fewer families decorating their tables for thanksgiving, and prices plummeted. I had invested early enough that I thought I would still be fine, but then on the morning of December 2nd, a new email in my inbox caused my stomach to turn into a pretzel. The massive gourd shipment from Argentina, scheduled for early March, had arrived. I was planning on selling off my futures right before this, in February, but this ruined everything. To top it off, the gourds in this shipment were absolutely gargantuan, some topping 4 pounds each, causing the price-per-pound to drop like an anchor into the range of 6 cents per pound. I am ruined.
Classic
WallStreetBets
Remove this part of the message after pasteing in chat
twitchquotes:
Wow great game!! 
(remove this part of the message after pasteing in chat, your $1 has been sent to your Paypal account, Bethesda)
(remove this part of the message after pasteing in chat, your $1 has been sent to your Paypal account, Bethesda)
twitch chat
Kripp