[Copypasta] bbz will u luv me 4evr

gurl was walkin2 skewl wit her bf n they were crossin da rode. she sed "bbz will u luv me 4evr" he said "NO.." ... da gurl cryed N ran across da rode b4 da green man came on the sine. boy was cryin and went to pic up her body. she was ded. he whispered 2 her corpse "I ment 2 sey i will luv u FIVE-ever..." (dat mean he luv her moar den 4evr) xxx~*...LIKE DIS IF U CRY EVRY TIME...~*xxx
March 2021

Classic

(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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A girl... AND a gamer?

A girl.... AND a gamer? Whoa mama! Hummina hummina hummina bazooooooooing! *eyes pop out* AROOOOOOOOGA! *jaw drops tongue rolls out* WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF *tongue bursts out of the outh uncontrollably leaking face and everything in reach* WURBLWUBRLBWURblrwurblwurlbrwubrlwburlwbruwrlblwublr *tiny cupid shoots an arrow through heart* Ahhhhhhhhhhh me lady... *heart in the shape of a heart starts beating so hard you can see it through shirt* ba-bum ba-bum ba-bum ba-bum ba-bum *milk truck crashes into a bakery store in the background spiling white liquid and dough on the streets* BABY WANTS TO FUCK *inhales from the gas tank* honka honka honka honka *masturabtes furiously* ohhhh my gooooodd~
March 2021

Classic

NaM octopus

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⣵⠟⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⡀⠄⠄⠙⢾⢽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢸⡏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣶⣿⣿⣇⡀⠄⠄⠩⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠠⠭⣿⣿⣿⣯⠭⣄⠄⠄⠄⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡅⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣐⣀⡘⠹⣿⣐⣤⣼⡄⠈⠄⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⡀⠄⠄⠄⠰⣿⣿⠃⢨⣏⣻⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣦⠄⡄⣿⠛⠄⠠⢥⠛⢿⣿⡇⢼⣣⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡿⣣⡶⠬⡛⠛⠃⠙⠉⠄⡀⣤⣳⣶⢘⡡⠴⣾⣶⡦⠬⡻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⣠⡄⠄⠄⣀⣤⡶⠶⣶⣦⢤⣿⣿⢷⠃⡀⠄⠄⣀⣀⣀⣤⣤⣤⣄⣀⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠈⠙⠻⢾⢿⣬⣤⣤⣶⣿⣿⣿⢿⣯⣷⣿⣿⣿⠟⠛⠉⠉⠁⠄⠈⠙⢷⡄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠄⠄⠁⠈⢉⣿⣿⣿⣿⣫⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⠿⣷⣶⣄⢂⠄⠄⠄⣼⠇ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣴⡿⠟⢫⣿⡟⠞⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠻⣷⣍⠛⠛⠉⠄ ⠄⠄⣀⣀⣠⣠⣾⣟⣉⣤⣶⡿⠋⠄⠄⠘⢿⣷⣄⣀⣀⣀⡀⠄⠘⢿⣆⠄⠄⠄ ⢀⣾⠛⢛⡋⠉⠉⠉⠋⠉⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠻⢷⣾⡉⠄⠄⠄ ⠘⢿⣤⡟⠁⠄⠐⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡴⠄⠁⢻⣷⠄⠄⠄ ⢐⢀⠟⠒⠘⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢳⣄⣠⡾⠃⠄⠄⠄ ⠈⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
ascii art
July 2019

Classic

You cheated not only the game, but yourself

twitchquotes: You cheated not only the game, but yourself. You didn't grow. You didn't improve. You took a shortcut and gained nothing. You experienced a hollow victory. Nothing was risked and nothing was gained. It's sad that you don't know the difference.
twitch chat
April 2019

Classic

Nacho cheese torpedo

twitchquotes: Guys, please don't spam. My daughter made a macaroni dinosaur in school and it passes its days pasted to my laptop screen. When too many messages show up it starts turning into a nacho cheese torpedo. God bless, thanks for understanding.
twitch chat
June 2016

Classic

Infinite poop

twitchquotes: Infinite poop. You sit on the toilet to poop, but the poop never stops coming out of your butt. You have to start flushing the toilet every two minutes to keep up. You try to pinch your butt closed but that makes your insides hurt. The poop accelerates. You call 911. The paramedics call for doctors. The doctors call for specialists. The story trends on Twitter. You turn down talk show appearances. Your septic tank fails. People form a cult. Your toilet is finished. Volunteers arrive with buckets and shovels. You are completely used to the smell. The poop accelerates. You are moved to a stepladder with a hole in the top step. The poop accelerates. The shovelers abandon the buckets and shovel directly out the window. The poop accelerates. A candlelight vigil forms around your house. One of the workers falls over and can't free himself. The poop accelerates. A priest knocks over the stepladder and tackles you out the window. You land in the pile. The poop accelerates. The force now propels you forward and upward. Vigil goers grab at your legs. The poop ignites from their candles. The Facebook live event hits 1 million viewers. The poop accelerates. You are 30 feet in the air. The fire engulfs the vigil and your house. 60 feet. The poop accelerates. The torrent underneath you is deafening. 5 million Facebook live viewers. You try to close up shop but your butthole disintegrated long ago. 120 feet up. Your house explodes. The poop accelerates. 1000 feet. You are now tracked on radar. You try to change your angle of ascent but you should have thought of that way earlier. The poop accelerates. 4,000 feet. NORAD upgrades to DEFCON 3. Concentric circles of fire engulf your city. The poop accelerates. You have broken the sound barrier. 30,000 feet. You no longer take in enough oxygen to sustain consciousness. 60,000 feet. CNN is reporting on all the world records you've broken. 200,000 feet. You are no longer alive. The poop accelerates. Your body disintegrates but your poop contrail remains. NASA can no longer track you. You break the light-speed barrier and we can no longer bear witness. The poop accelerates. Forever.
twitch chat
June 2019

Classic

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