good news, my sisters pregnant! i'm going to be a .... uncle, you thought i was going to say Dad but i stopped banging my sister years ago
What happened to this ad? :(
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FitnessGram Pacer Test
The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.
Classic
Troll face 6
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣟⣿⣟⡿⠏⠛⠛⠛⠛⢛⣛⣛⡛⡙⠛⠻⠯⠿⠟⢯⣿⣿⣯⣿⣿⣻⣿⣽
⣿⣿⣯⣿⡿⢉⣴⣿⢟⡾⢛⡿⠿⢶⢶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣭⣭⣲⢶⣶⢭⣙⠻⣿⣟⣿
⣿⣿⣻⡽⣀⡫⣽⣿⣿⣻⠟⠀⠀⠀⠑⢽⢿⢟⢿⣿⠏⠁⠀⠙⠿⣷⣝⢷⠈⣿⣿
⣿⣿⠋⣰⢟⠛⢝⣺⡭⣃⡀👁⠀⠀⣨⣗⣾⣷⢘⣄👁 ⣀⣔⢺⣟⢿⣥⠛⢿
⡏⣵⡎⣵⣱⣶⡀⠈⠙⢯⣳⣶⣶⢂⣼⠹⠿⠛⣿⣦⢳⣄⣶⡺⠝⠈⠁⢰⠏⣷⠈
⡀⢿⣿⣄⣿⢿⣧⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠛⣛⡗⣞⣉⡉⢉⣈⢭⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⢨⣾⡹⢀
⣷⣌⠿⣼⣜⣿⣿⡽⣦⠀⠀⠀⣼⣷⡸⣰⡎⢋⣾⣷⢣⣿⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⡏⢠⣿
⣿⣿⣦⠙⣿⡿⣿⣿⣟⣷⣄⠀⠈⠉⠁⠛⠃⠘⠿⠿⠈⠛⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⡇⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣧⣘⠿⡽⣿⣿⣮⣳⣱⢄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⣷⢻⣿
⣿⣿⢿⣽⣿⣷⣌⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣝⢦⡀⠀⠐⣆⢷⣿⡎⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⡟⢸⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣻⣿⣶⣮⣭⡘⠻⢿⣷⡺⣴⣦⣥⣍⣈⣁⣀⠈⠤⣖⣶⣾⣵⢸⣿
⣿⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣻⣿⣿⣷⣦⣌⣙⣒⡶⠾⠿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠿⣻⡽⠛⢟⣼⣿
⣿⣿⣯⣿⣷⣿⣟⣿⣿⣿⣿⣻⣿⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣤⣤⣭⣥⣤⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣟⣿⣯⣿⣿⣿⢿⣽⣾⣿⣿⢿⣿⣻⣽⣿⡿⣟⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿⣽
I want to fuck the Samsung girl
Oh my fucking god I want to fuck the Samsung Virtual assistant so fucking bad, every waking second of my fucking life since the release of that fucking ad I’ve done nothing but think about her. I can’t go for more that 2 seconds without getting an erection the size of the Burj Khalifa and ejaculating at Mach 12. I’ve ejaculated so many times to simply the thought of her existence that my cock is no longer cumming sperm but literal fucking blood. I can’t stoping thinking about her even after passing out from the pain of cumming blood. I can’t complete nearly any daily tasks because my mind is continuously invaded by her perfection, I can’t live every day of my life thinking about angelic voice screaming in luscious pain about the new Samsung data plan while I fuck her perfect 3D modeled asshole. My personal hell will only get worse in a matter of hours as I will scavenge every corner of the internet in search of her rule 34 and my continuous stream of blood cum will only get worse as I’ll spend days, weeks, possibly months jacking off to her non-stop for any reason other than to shit, piss and eat. Simply at this point alone in writing this I’ve lost 2-3 liters of blood alone with just the simple thought of her existence. If this is how I die then I wouldn’t want it any other way.
Pepe holding up L sign
⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣤⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣀⣀⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⡄⢀⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⡤⠀⢤⣤⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢠⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⣿⣿⡿⠟⣋⣉⣙⣻⣿⣶⣿⣦⡈⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⢸⣿⣿⠗⠊⠉⣉⣉⣟⠳⢿⡿⠛⡩⣐⣖⡚⠹⢷⣿⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⢸⣿⠃⣀⡴⡪⠋⣕⡶⢦⠈⠱⠁⠀⣗⢯⣽⣀⣸⣿⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⢸⣿⠈⠁⣋⣤⣀⣿⣽⠿⠓⠂⠒⠒⢋⣉⡥⢚⣿⡇⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠈⣿⢰⡉⠩⠭⣭⣉⣛⣛⣛⣛⣋⣭⠭⠴⠒⣻⡽⠁⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⢿⣄⡈⠉⠓⠒⠲⠦⠤⠴⠶⠒⠒⠒⣚⣩⣏⢀⣤⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄⠈⢻⡙⠳⠦⠤⢤⡤⠶⠶⠶⠶⠖⠋⠉⠀⠾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⢳⡾⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
Pepe
Surprised face
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