good news, my sisters pregnant! i'm going to be a .... uncle, you thought i was going to say Dad but i stopped banging my sister years ago
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas
President Trump gave us Christmas back
twitchquotes:
Today at Walmart I told the cashier Merry Christmas. She said, "Happy Holidays, ma'am, I smiled and said "You don't have to be afraid anymore. President Trump gave us Christmas back" she started crying tears of joy and said "Merry Christmas" and then everyone in the store applauded
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ForsenE Don't talk to me or my son ever again
twitchquotes:
don't talk to me or my son ever again 
don't talk to me or my son ever again
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Forsen
Taking my mods for a walk
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imaqtpie
Reacting to content takes skill
twitchquotes:
Reaction when done right is a true artform. The sheer effort, persistence and dedication it takes for someone to master the craft is astounding. The skill and talent of the contestants on masterchef pales in comparison to the skill and talent of the true master watching them, pausing at the precise moment to achieve the pinnacle of comedy by releasing gas audibly from his colon. It is truly exhilarating, even a little arousing, to witness a true master of reacting at work.
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Year 2020 Jared loses a game in D3
twitchquotes:
Year 2020 Jared loses a game in D3 , but he manages to think positively... If something is wrong, fix it if you can. But train yourself not to worry. Worry never fixes anything... he continues to lose another game.... I like the dreams of the future better than the history of the past... is what he tells himself... he loses another one ... and reaches for the glock
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Annie Bot