[Copypasta] good news, my sisters pregnant!

good news, my sisters pregnant! i'm going to be a .... uncle, you thought i was going to say Dad but i stopped banging my sister years ago
March 2021
What happened to this ad? :(
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Day 2 without sports

twitchquotes: Day 2 without sports: Found a young lady sitting on my couch yesterday. Apparently she’s my wife. She seems nice. Apparently we also have 2 kids.
twitch chat
March 2020

Coronavirus

COVID

V for Vendatta

β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ β–ˆβ–ˆβ•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β–ˆβ–ˆ β–ˆβ•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β–ˆ β–ˆβ•¬β•¬β•¬β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ•¬β•¬β•¬β–ˆ β–ˆβ•¬β•¬β–ˆβ–ˆβ•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β–ˆβ–ˆβ•¬β•¬β–ˆ β–ˆβ•¬β–ˆβ–ˆβ•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β–ˆβ–ˆβ•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β–ˆβ–ˆβ•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β–ˆβ–ˆβ•¬β–ˆ β–ˆβ•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β–ˆ β–ˆβ•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β–ˆ β–ˆβ•¬β•¬β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ•¬β•¬β–ˆ β–ˆβ•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β–ˆ β–ˆβ•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β–ˆβ•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β–ˆ β–ˆβ•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β–ˆβ•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β–ˆ β–ˆβ•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β–ˆβ•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β–ˆ β–ˆβ•¬β•¬β•¬β–“β–“β–“β–“β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β–ˆβ•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β–“β–“β–“β–“β•¬β•¬β•¬β–ˆ β–ˆβ•¬β•¬β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β•¬β•¬β–ˆβ•¬β•¬β•¬β–ˆβ•¬β•¬β•¬β–ˆβ•¬β•¬β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β•¬β•¬β–ˆ β–ˆβ•¬β•¬β•¬β–“β–“β–“β–“β•¬β•¬β–ˆβ–ˆβ•¬β•¬β•¬β–ˆβ•¬β•¬β•¬β–ˆβ–ˆβ•¬β•¬β–“β–“β–“β–“β•¬β•¬β•¬β–ˆ β–ˆβ•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β–ˆβ–ˆβ•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β–ˆβ•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β–ˆβ–ˆβ•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β–ˆ β–ˆβ•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β–ˆ β–ˆβ•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β–ˆ β–ˆβ–ˆβ•¬β•¬β–ˆβ•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β–ˆβ•¬β•¬β–ˆβ–ˆ β–ˆβ–ˆβ•¬β•¬β–ˆβ–ˆβ•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β–ˆβ–ˆβ•¬β•¬β–ˆβ–ˆ β–ˆβ–ˆβ•¬β•¬β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ•¬β•¬β•¬β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ•¬β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ•¬β•¬β•¬β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β•¬β•¬β–ˆβ–ˆ β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ•¬β•¬β–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ•¬β•¬β•¬β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β•¬β•¬β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β–ˆβ•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β–ˆβ•¬β•¬β•¬β•¬β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ
September 2021

Hello this is Dan from the next room over

twitchquotes: Hello this is Dan from the next room over. Can you be quiet for 2 minutes it's almost 2am and I can still hear you. I have had a hard day doing REAL work for 13 hours and all I want is a bit of peace and quiet. LOL just kidding it's Tanner from highschool again, enjoy playing your kids games while I'm hanging out with Becca. We're watching re-runs of that time you lost that video game tournament. Peace out!
twitch chat
June 2019

Tanner from High School

Don't install Talking Roby

When I was 8 years old, I was searching for apps that were like Talking Tom. I found one that was called β€œTalking Roby The Robot”, I was curious so I downloaded it and installed it. I played it and I enjoyed every single second of it. I was a big fan of Roby. But when, it was 3 AM, my mom was sleeping so I now could use the phone without mom knowing, Tried the text to speech feature and typed the words β€œsing like dick”. The robot said β€œsing like dick”. I almost laughed too hard after seeing that. I recorded it and uploaded it to YouTube. after uploading it, I heard The Exorcist theme playing in the living room radio. I was shocked, I couldn’t move, and then Roby himself came out of my closet and said β€œsing like dick”. I was crying in fear, β€œis this a nightmare?” I asked. Roby said β€œno”. I was scared, this was real all along? And then Roby bled at me with hyper-realistic eyes and said: β€œ666”. I was crying, and then he disappeared. My life has changed after that moment. Don’t install Talking Roby.
February 2021

Hi David, this is Akali's daughter

twitchquotes: Hi David, this is Akali's daughter. I noticed you have been picking my mom for your team in gym class. i have been having a really tough time since she left home, and it doesn’t make it easy on me when you reroll and say "i guess we're going assasins.β€œ I think you should take a hard look at yourself in the mirror and think how it would feel if your mom left you to go carry an old man. Akali is just a poor single mom that is overworked to death. Why don’t you try being a little more exclusive.
twitch chat
July 2019
dogdog

Teamfight Tactics

Text-to-Speech Playing