[Copypasta] good news, my sisters pregnant!

good news, my sisters pregnant! i'm going to be a .... uncle, you thought i was going to say Dad but i stopped banging my sister years ago
March 2021
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Hey Kripp, Dan from HearthArena here

twitchquotes: Hey Kripp, Dan from HearthArena here. Just wanted to let you know we have some updates to our policy for sponsored content. Instead of saying "that guy's deck was crazy", we now suggest our partners use the phrase, "wow, that guy must have used HearthArena™ to get a deck like that!" We're grateful for your continued participation and hope you have a nice day.
twitch chat
September 2018
Kripp

Hearthstone

salty

YOU'RE A GIRL GAMER?!

wait, wait, wait.... hold your horses... uhm... YOU'RE A GIRL GAMER?!!?! O_o_O Not to be a freak, but.. just when I thought you couldn't get more attractive.. you started playing video games. Nicely done, m'lady. You've just become every man's dream woman. If you had missed a couple before, now you can be sure you've got us ALL "drooling", lol.
May 2021

Simps

xqcS

⡿⣝⢮⢯⢾⢽⢽⢯⣟⣿⣻⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⡯⣺⢕⡏⣗⢽⢽⢽⢞⡗⢯⢛⠚⠟⠻⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣫⢺⣸⣪⡳⣝⢕⢕⢵⣱⣣⡧⣇⣦⣢⣀⠄⠉⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⡪⣓⢮⢾⡽⣮⢧⡣⡣⡑⠩⢙⣯⡃⠑⠙⠳⣆⡀⠈⠹⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⡪⡮⡯⡯⣿⢽⣯⣿⣺⢼⢜⡴⣝⢇⢀⠄⡀⢠⢩⠪⡢⣀⢉⠻⡿⣿⣿⡿⡿⢡ ⡪⡺⡺⡽⣽⣟⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⣿⣳⣷⢷⣕⡕⣕⢕⡑⡜⡜⣵⣷⣿⣯⡳⣝⢰⣿ ⡪⣳⡫⡿⣽⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣽⣗⣯⣯⣾⡾⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⡅⢸⣿ ⢪⢒⢭⢯⣻⣻⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⢃⣼⣿ ⢕⢱⠱⡕⡯⡷⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣟⢟⠏⠏⡏⣟⡽⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢉⣾⣿⣿ ⢕⢕⢱⢱⢱⡹⡕⡗⠯⡳⡫⡯⣎⢆⠄⢔⢝⣾⣿⣽⡳⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⣾⣿⣿⣿ ⠕⡌⡆⡧⣣⢧⡀⡨⣐⢈⠪⡚⢎⢗⢝⢌⢎⠯⢿⢿⡯⣷⣿⣿⣿⡇⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⡱⢨⢪⢯⣞⣗⡷⣝⢜⣼⣿⣬⣦⣣⣕⣕⣆⡇⠅⡀⠉⠓⡯⣿⢿⠇⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠨⢊⢮⢳⡳⡳⡯⡿⣽⢾⣝⢿⢿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠁⣾⣿⣿⣶⣶⣶⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠈⠠⢱⢱⢝⢝⢎⢯⡺⡽⣺⢽⢕⡏⡗⠕⣡⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣀⣀⣀⣃⣃⣋⣓⣓⣑⣙⣊⣓⣙⣘⣊⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
September 2019
xQcOW

Spam emotes every time Mario does his jump attack

twitchquotes: Hey guys, I'm here from Maple Story, just wanted to say that I can see why you were being a bunch of immature children in chat - seeing as you literally play a kids game. Honestly, it's just sad seeing you losers spam emotes every time Mario does his jump attack or whatever. Grow up!
twitch chat
January 2019

EVO

Am I the asshole for dropping my 6 year old son at an orphanage for his inability to trade options?

This started about 4 years ago when my son was 2 years old. I started to supplement his picture books and cartoons with beginner options books and Martin Shkerli's live videos on how to pick pharmaceutical stocks. Over the course of these years I feel like he has retained absolutely nothing even though I have spent every waking minute trying to make him understand. I have done almost everything that I have thought of including having Jerome Powell's speeches play while he is sleeping and only having Warren Buffet on the TV to try and make him understand the market. I felt as though I got to a breaking point when he couldn't differentiate between a straddle and a strangle even though we we went through different strategies for almost a month straight. I finally convinced my wife that we were doing the right thing when I said that he will soon be a Wendy's worker begging his wife's husband for a weekly allowance because he will never amount to be anything. I couldn't fathom raising a kid who was not able to able to make a profit from trading options by the time he was 10. With all that said if anyone wants a 6 year old child who is shitty at market strategy check out Eternal Sunny Orphanage in Omaha, Nebraska and maybe your luck will be better than mine with him.
September 2021

Am I The Asshole?

WallStreetBets

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