good news, my sisters pregnant! i'm going to be a .... uncle, you thought i was going to say Dad but i stopped banging my sister years ago
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
You toss and turn as Elon gently rubs your shoulders
You toss and turn as Elon gently rubs your shoulders. "You seem a little tense" says Elon, as you look at your bank account. Your phone shows $107 left to your name. You think to yourself while Elon rubs you down, you pull open Robin Hood, type in TSLA. Leaps $900 JAN 2023' are only $1 you can afford 1 leap. This is finally your chance to get rich, you'll be able to actually buy a Tesla. You ask Elon what the next Tesla will be. He says "U, for 'you'" as he smiles sweetly. You picture him dancing on stage explaining U S3XY to everyone multiple times as you smile back at him.
All of a sudden Elon flips on the TV to CNBC to catch the tail end of Jim Cramer, you see a new law has been passed, "we believe options have inflated the markets into a bubble, we will be imposing a new rule next week only allowing accounts that qualify for day trades to also purchase options with a $25,000 barrier to entry."
You start weeping aloud, you feel a caring hand wipe your tear away, it's Elon again, "what's wrong my little X'โฯ3?"
Suddenly you wake, you're in a pool of sweat, at first you panic about the new options policy, then you're filled with relief realizing that options aren't restricted it was all a dream.
You realize this was actually a vision to earn 200,000% gains to buy a TSLA leap. You log into RH, it welcomes you with your $107 balance, you plug in TSLA yolo 2023 @ $900 and realize the options are actually $20 each. The best you can do is $900 TSLA weekly expiring around Christmas.
In a slight fit of despair you try to remember the feeling of Elon rubbing your cheek, and rub one out onto your stomach, then roll over back to sleep. A single tear rolls from your eye into your waifu pillow.
YOLO you whisper.
WallStreetBets
Getting meme'd
twitchquotes:
Kripp my friend bought your Stupid Lizard shirt and he told me he got meme'd! I can't believe you'd go out in the world and do that? Meme someone. I'll have you know my best dog was meme'd back in 'Nam. It ruined him. RIP dog
twitch chat
Kripp
Forgor what? Forgor how to be funny?
Forgor what? Forgor how to be funny? Shut up you absolute troglodyte. Misspelling a word is not funny anymore, you just sound like an idiot. And don't even get me started about the ๐ emoji at the end. What is dead? Is it your unfunny jokes from 2020? But Shut the fuck up you unfunny bitch Forgor what? Forgor how to be funny? Shut up you absolute troglodyte. Misspelling a word is not funny anymore, you just sound like an idiot. And don't even get me started about the ๐ emoji at the end. What is dead? Is it your unfunny jokes from 2020? But Shut the fuck up you unfunny bitch Forgor what? Forgor how to be funny? Shut up you absolute troglodyte. Misspelling a word is not funny anymore, you just sound like an idiot. And don't even get me started about the ๐ emoji at the end. What is dead? Is it your unfunny jokes from 2020? Shut the fuck up you unfunny bitch.
I forgor
Dear Twitch Partners, Our community members are always our priority
twitchquotes:
Dear ๐ Twitch Partners ๐ค , Our 
community members ๐ช are always โ๏ธ our priority ๐. We received ๐ฅ some reports โ describing โจ๏ธ the discomfort โน๏ธ some of our members ๐ฃ๏ธ felt after a Twitch Rivals ๐คผ participant used "KE*W" and "mo*kaS," ๐ถ both emotes are often โฒ๏ธ used in toxic ๐ contexts. Please ๐ refrain from using such emotes, and use KEKHeim & CaitlynS instead ๐. Best regards ๐, Twitch Team ๐
community members ๐ช are always โ๏ธ our priority ๐. We received ๐ฅ some reports โ describing โจ๏ธ the discomfort โน๏ธ some of our members ๐ฃ๏ธ felt after a Twitch Rivals ๐คผ participant used "KE*W" and "mo*kaS," ๐ถ both emotes are often โฒ๏ธ used in toxic ๐ contexts. Please ๐ refrain from using such emotes, and use KEKHeim & CaitlynS instead ๐. Best regards ๐, Twitch Team ๐
twitch chat
The Cocklock Deck
twitchquotes:
Hey Kripp, its the "cocklock" you just beat. I'm on the phone with my mom right now, and she isn't very happy with you. She is coming over now to comfort me, and then we are going to have to report you to the police. I hope you enjoy jail.
twitch chat
Kripp