good news, my sisters pregnant! i'm going to be a .... uncle, you thought i was going to say Dad but i stopped banging my sister years ago
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
It's EXAM WEEK
twitchquotes:
It's EXAM WEEK π€π€ and it's TIME β±β± to WHIP OUT π―π― your EDUCATION ERECTIONS ππππ and FUCK THESE FINALS π€£π€£ππ. That's RIGHT, get READY to BOOTYCALL ππ your SLUTTY STUDY BUDDIES ππ and HIT ππ the BOOKS πππtill your BRAIN π§ π§ is RUBBED RAW π«π« and your PEN ππis DRY π΅π΅. So let's put the CUM in CUMULATIVE π¦π¦ and do this THING ππ. Send this to 11 of the SKANKIEST π€€π€€ SCHOLARS you know or you will LITERALLY get F'D! π±π±
twitch chat
Emoji Pasta
I put sushi in my husbandβs butthole while he was asleep
He was sleeping soundly naked, and I was eating leftover sushi. I couldn't help myself. I spread open his cheeks ever so softly, and tucked a slice of Philly roll right next to his puckered asshole. He did not wake up. When he awoke several hours later, he thought he had shit himself. I managed to video him discovering it was in his asshole, and I cannot stop watching him dig salmon, cream cheese, and rice out of his butthole. I also cannot stop laughing. I needed to tell someone.
Brofist and crofist
twitchquotes:
Dear Kripp, I am a lawyer and I represent StrifeCro. I notice that your 'brofist' is strikingly similar to StrifeCro's 'crofist'. Given that StrifeCro owns the 'fisting' patent, I request that you immediately cease and desist from 'brofisting' any more subs, or my client will take you to court. Yours sincerely, Eddie Barristerino.
twitch chat
Kripp
Thanks for backseating v2
Reminder for all participants of this chat: Streamer is very grateful for any incoming advice and tips on build, strategy, and abilities he should have used the last teamfight. He is a hardstuck Challenger therefore your advice is invaluable to him as people in silver bronze and iron show incredible out of the box thinking that can push the diamond player to greatness. Please do not hesitate to help the streamer and other chat users move forward with their game by sharing your incredibly smart ideas!
League of Legends
NOT EVERYONE CAN WEAR HAT
twitchquotes:
NOT EVERYONE IN THE CHAT CAN WEAR HAT 
NOT EVERYONE IN THE CHAT CAN WEAR HAT
twitch chat