good news, my sisters pregnant! i'm going to be a .... uncle, you thought i was going to say Dad but i stopped banging my sister years ago
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas
When soup, my spoon automatically go to bowl
twitchquotes:
ｗｈｅｎ ｓｏｕｐ， ｍｙ ｓｐｏｏｎ ａｕｔｏｍａｔｉｃａｌｌｙ ｇｏ ｔｏ ｔｈｅ ｂｏｔｔｏｍ ｏｆ ｔｈｅ ｂｏｗｌ． ｉ ｔａｓｔｅ ｔｈｅ ｍｏｒｅ ｆｌａｖｏｕｒ ａｎｄ ｆｅｅｌ ｈａｖｉｎｇ ｓｅｘ ｗｉｔｈ ｔｈｅ ｓｐｉｃｅ． ａｌｌ ｂｅｃｏｍｉｎｇ ｆｕｃｋ ｙｏｕ
twitch chat
Kripp
Malta vs Penguins
haven’t done assassins in a while
twitchquotes:
"alright, locket I guess” 
“haven’t done assassins in a while” “guess I’ll pick up this akali” “oh look, 6 assassins”
“haven’t done assassins in a while” “guess I’ll pick up this akali” “oh look, 6 assassins”
twitch chat
Teamfight Tactics
I put sushi in my husband’s butthole while he was asleep
He was sleeping soundly naked, and I was eating leftover sushi. I couldn't help myself. I spread open his cheeks ever so softly, and tucked a slice of Philly roll right next to his puckered asshole. He did not wake up. When he awoke several hours later, he thought he had shit himself. I managed to video him discovering it was in his asshole, and I cannot stop watching him dig salmon, cream cheese, and rice out of his butthole. I also cannot stop laughing. I needed to tell someone.