good news, my sisters pregnant! i'm going to be a .... uncle, you thought i was going to say Dad but i stopped banging my sister years ago
(βΜΏΔΉΜ―ββ¬β΄β¬β΄ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas
Comedy God has entered the building: Attack Helicopter
I Sexually Identify as an Attack Helicopter
WEE WOO WEE WOO
ALERT! COMEDY GOD HAS ENTERED THE BUILDING! GET TO COVER!
steps on stage
Bystander: "Oh god! Don't do it! I have a family!"
Comedy God: "Heh..."
adjusts fedora
the building is filled with fear and anticipation
God and Jesus himself looks on in suspense
comedy god clears throat
everything is completely quiet not a single sound is heard
world leaders look and wait with dread
everything in the world stops
nothing is happening
comedy god smirks
no one is prepared for what is going to happen
comedy god musters all of this power
he bellows out to the world
"ATTACK"
absolute suspense
everyone is filled with overwhelming dread
"HELICOPTER"
all at once, absolute pandemonium commences
all nuclear powers launch their nukes at once
giant brawls start
43 wars are declared simultaneously
a shockwave travels around the earth
earth is driven into chaos
humanity is regressed back to the stone age
the pure funny of that joke destroyed civilization itself
all the while people are laughing harder than they ever did
people who aren't killed die from laughter
literally the funniest joke in the world
then the comedy god himself posts his creation to reddit and gets karma
Classic
What you guys have no Szechuan sauce?
What you guys have no Szechuan sauce? I WANT SZECHUAN SAUCE! WHERE'S MY SZECHUAN SAUCE??!! I'M PICKLE RICK!!!!!!!! WUBBALUBBADUBDUB!!!!!! I'M PICKLE RICK!!!! REEEEEEEEE!!!! REEEEE!!!! REEEEE!!!! IM PICKLE REEEEEEEEE!!!! REEEEEE!!!!! REEEEE!!!!!!
Rick and Morty
POLICE VOLIBEAR
twitchquotes:
HELLO RIOT? βοΈ MAE HERE βοΈ POLICE VOLIBEAR SELECTED βοΈ IM TRIGGERED βοΈ
HELLO RIOT? βοΈ MAE HERE βοΈ POLICE VOLIBEAR SELECTED βοΈ IM TRIGGERED βοΈ
twitch chat
League of Legends
NORMIES OUT
twitchquotes:
πͺ NORMIES OUT πͺ NORMIES OUT πͺ NORMIES OUT πͺ NORMIES OUT πͺ NORMIES OUT πͺ NORMIES OUT πͺ NORMIES OUT
πͺ NORMIES OUT πͺ NORMIES OUT πͺ NORMIES OUT πͺ NORMIES OUT πͺ NORMIES OUT πͺ NORMIES OUT πͺ NORMIES OUT
twitch chat
Weebs
Empirre is a terrible streamer
twitchquotes:
Empirre is a terrible streamer and should be banned from twitch and this subreddit. Stop calling him australian xqc, you can't compare anything or anyone to this man. He makes hitler look good. On top of all of this, Empirrre broke into my house, killed my wife and daughter, stole all my life savings and burned the place down while I was at work. I honestly don't know what to do with my life anymore, he's taken everything from me. Love his streams tho keep it up empiL
twitch chat
Empirrre