good news, my sisters pregnant! i'm going to be a .... uncle, you thought i was going to say Dad but i stopped banging my sister years ago
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas
Day 2 without sports
twitchquotes:
Day 2 without sports: Found a young lady sitting on my couch yesterday. Apparently sheβs my wife. She seems nice. Apparently we also have 2 kids.
twitch chat
Coronavirus
COVID
V for Vendatta
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Hello this is Dan from the next room over
twitchquotes:
Hello this is Dan from the next room over. Can you be quiet for 2 minutes it's almost 2am and I can still hear you. I have had a hard day doing REAL work for 13 hours and all I want is a bit of peace and quiet. LOL just kidding it's Tanner from highschool again, enjoy playing your kids games while I'm hanging out with Becca. We're watching re-runs of that time you lost that video game tournament. Peace out!
twitch chat
Tanner from High School
Don't install Talking Roby
When I was 8 years old, I was searching for apps that were like Talking Tom. I found one that was called βTalking Roby The Robotβ, I was curious so I downloaded it and installed it. I played it and I enjoyed every single second of it. I was a big fan of Roby. But when, it was 3 AM, my mom was sleeping so I now could use the phone without mom knowing, Tried the text to speech feature and typed the words βsing like dickβ. The robot said βsing like dickβ. I almost laughed too hard after seeing that. I recorded it and uploaded it to YouTube. after uploading it, I heard The Exorcist theme playing in the living room radio. I was shocked, I couldnβt move, and then Roby himself came out of my closet and said βsing like dickβ. I was crying in fear, βis this a nightmare?β I asked. Roby said βnoβ. I was scared, this was real all along? And then Roby bled at me with hyper-realistic eyes and said: β666β. I was crying, and then he disappeared. My life has changed after that moment. Donβt install Talking Roby.
Hi David, this is Akali's daughter
twitchquotes:
Hi David, this is Akali's daughter. I noticed you have been picking my mom for your team in gym class. i have been having a really tough time since she left home, and it doesnβt make it easy on me when you reroll and say "i guess we're going assasins.β I think you should take a hard look at yourself in the mirror and think how it would feel if your mom left you to go carry an old man. Akali is just a poor single mom that is overworked to death. Why donβt you try being a little more exclusive.
twitch chat
dogdog