[Copypasta] War Thunder is like playing chess

It's not that the game is addicting, it's just that there are no decent alternatives. War Thunder is basically the intellectual version of the FPS games that all the stupid children and mongoloid brains play. Instead of just being based purely on twitch "skills" which require as much intellectual ability as closing popup spam windows, in War Thunder you have to use at least some tactics and strategy. FPS games are like playing Pong on high speed. War Thunder is like playing chess. The art of gaming is simply dead for big brains. 20 years ago there were tons of games that required brainpower because PC gaming back then was by nerds and for nerds, but then the corporate suits took over and were like "broaden the appeal to we can make more sales" so everything got dumbed down to the lowest common denominator. My GF asked me if I was "having fun" playing War Thunder, and I looked at her like she was a fucking retard to even consider that sentence a valid question. I don't have FUN playing War Thunder. This game routinely pisses me off and makes me rage. However, when I stomp the entire enemy team and crush them so utterly I can hear the lamentations of their mothers, I feel satisfaction. I spent weeks grinding for Operation Winter. The vikings had a word for this. They called it Valhalla. Endless war. Endless combat. Knowing only victory and death. Bathing in the blood of your enemies. You get 15 kills and bask in glory and rewards, and think: what should I do now? Should I get in my Honda Fit and tour the local strip mall for my Triumph? Should I microwave some tendies and throw myself a great Feast? But there is only one option. There is only ever one option. To Battle! Various cultures have alternatively described the gameplay loop of War Thunder as their vision of Heaven or Hell. It is both.
January 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

I love you future self!

twitchquotes: Hey youtube! HeyGuys It's me from the past! Remember when I wrote this and then it happened and now I'm watching this again on YouTube watching my message pass! I love you future self! KappaPride
twitch chat
March 2016
Reynad

Could you guys be more serious and stop the spamming

twitchquotes: guys could you please be a little serious and stop the spamming? people are trying to enjoy the stream here, its hard to find a place where im accepted for who i am and when i see you all spam kripps chat it makes me feel rly bad because i know that he wants you to learn instead of joke around as well
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

Kill the chicken again

twitchquotes: K҉íl͞l͢ ̛t̀he̡ ͘c͢hic̕k͡en ̸agąin, ͘I̵ d͞a͟r̨e ̷y͏o̵u̸, I ͟ḑo̷ubl̶e d̕a҉re̡ ̢yo̵u ͜moth͡erf̴ucke̵r
twitch chat
June 2014
EtrnlWait

DWG KIA logo

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣤⣾⣷⣤⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣠⣴⣿⠟⢻⡇⢸⡟⠻⣿⣦⣄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣤⣾⡿⢿⣿⣿⠄⢸⡇⢸⡇⠄⣿⣿⡿⢿⣷⣤⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⠟⢻⡇⢠⣄⠈⣿⠄⢸⡇⢸⡇⠄⣿⠁⣠⡄⣸⡟⠻⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⠄⢸⡇⢸⣿⠄⣿⠄⢸⡇⢸⡇⠄⣿⠄⣿⠿⢻⡇⠄⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⠄⢸⡇⢸⣿⠄⣿⠄⢸⡇⢸⡇⠄⣿⠄⣿⡄⢸⡇⠄⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⠄⢸⡇⢸⡿⠄⣿⠄⢸⡇⢸⣧⠄⣿⠄⢿⡇⢸⡇⠄⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⠄⢸⣧⣄⣤⣶⣿⠄⣾⡇⢸⣿⠄⣿⣶⣤⣠⣼⡇⠄⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄⠙⠇⠸⠋⣀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⠉⡿⠛⢩⣶⠈⡿⢟⣩⠀⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⢿⣦⣄⡈⠛⠿⣶⣾⣿⣶⣿⣶⣶⣿⣿⣾⠿⠛⢁⣠⣴⡿⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠛⠿⣶⣤⡀⠉⠻⢿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠉⢀⣤⣶⡿⠛⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠙⠻⣷⣦⣄⠈⠁⣠⣴⣾⠟⠋⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠛⢿⡿⠛⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
July 2021

Smartest Man in Existence

twitchquotes: When I was in school I used to have an IQ of 15. My classmates used to harass me for not being that smart. But since 2013, my life has changed. My IQ is now 195 and it increases by 5 every time I sit down on Saturday nights to watch this one show. It is called Rick and Morty. Because of that, I get all the girls and people are always comparing me to Albert Einstein, some even say that I am the cure for cancer. When the government found out that I watch Rick and Morty, they showed up to my residence and took me to a secret facility to take an exam. The exam was about explaining all the jokes in Rick and Morty and I had to answer each question in all currently spoken languages. Since I watched Rick and Morty, I didn't have any problems and I completed it in 30 minutes. The next day, I got to see the results and I passed the exam with a score of 100%. They gave me the title "Smartest Man in Existence". Guess I am out of this world.
twitch chat
October 2017

Rick and Morty

Text-to-Speech Playing