[Copypasta] War Thunder is like playing chess

It's not that the game is addicting, it's just that there are no decent alternatives. War Thunder is basically the intellectual version of the FPS games that all the stupid children and mongoloid brains play. Instead of just being based purely on twitch "skills" which require as much intellectual ability as closing popup spam windows, in War Thunder you have to use at least some tactics and strategy. FPS games are like playing Pong on high speed. War Thunder is like playing chess. The art of gaming is simply dead for big brains. 20 years ago there were tons of games that required brainpower because PC gaming back then was by nerds and for nerds, but then the corporate suits took over and were like "broaden the appeal to we can make more sales" so everything got dumbed down to the lowest common denominator. My GF asked me if I was "having fun" playing War Thunder, and I looked at her like she was a fucking retard to even consider that sentence a valid question. I don't have FUN playing War Thunder. This game routinely pisses me off and makes me rage. However, when I stomp the entire enemy team and crush them so utterly I can hear the lamentations of their mothers, I feel satisfaction. I spent weeks grinding for Operation Winter. The vikings had a word for this. They called it Valhalla. Endless war. Endless combat. Knowing only victory and death. Bathing in the blood of your enemies. You get 15 kills and bask in glory and rewards, and think: what should I do now? Should I get in my Honda Fit and tour the local strip mall for my Triumph? Should I microwave some tendies and throw myself a great Feast? But there is only one option. There is only ever one option. To Battle! Various cultures have alternatively described the gameplay loop of War Thunder as their vision of Heaven or Hell. It is both.
January 2021
(β–€ΜΏΔΉΜ―β”œβ”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

Grand Dragon Jebodiah Pasterino

twitchquotes: Hey Kripp, this is the Grand Dragon of the KKK, Jebodiah Pasterino. I see you're wearing one of our signature white hoods. We at the KKK do not associate with casuals such as yourself. Please remove the hood or we will take legal action.
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

Canadian sex

twitchquotes: thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!"
twitch chat
November 2020

Imagine being Bill Gates right now.

Imagine being Bill Gates right now. You spend 30 years of your life and $50 billion of your own dollars supporting humanitarian causes. You directly save hundreds of thousands of lives in South East Asia by providing anti malaria netting to half of a continent, you drop infant mortality rates throughout the entire developing world by funding vaccine programs including vaccinating 40,000,000 children for polio, and, amongst a plethora of philanthropic endeavors, you fund free educational platforms like Khan Academy so people can have free access to high quality education. Then after donating half of your wealth to charity and pledging 90% of the remainder to charity in your will.. Arguably doing more to better life on earth for humanity than any other human being to ever live. You then hop on the internet only to find a million scientifically illiterate fucking imbeciles that are using the very computers you pretty much invented in the first place to call you a child murdering arch villian antichrist because they watched a YouTube video made by some other yokel with the comprehension of a fucking potato.
February 2021

10 years since Dota 2 update

twitchquotes: οΌ‘οΌγ€€ο½™ο½…ο½ο½’ο½“γ€€ο½“ο½‰ο½Žο½ƒο½…γ€€οΌ€ο½ο½”ο½γ€€οΌ’γ€€ο½•ο½ο½„ο½ο½”ο½…οΌŽγ€€οΌ©γ€€ο½—ο½ο½Œο½‹γ€€ο½”ο½ˆο½’ο½ο½•ο½‡ο½ˆγ€€ο½”ο½ˆο½…γ€€ο½… ο½ο½ο½”ο½™γ€€ο½“ο½”ο½’ο½…ο½…ο½”ο½“γ€€ο½”ο½’ο½™ο½‰ο½Žο½‡γ€€ο½”ο½γ€€ο½”ο½ˆο½‰ο½Žο½‹γ€€ο½ο½†γ€€ο½“ο½ο½ο½…ο½”ο½ˆο½‰ο½Žο½‡γ€€ο½…ο½Œο½“ο½…γ€€ο½‚ο½•ο½” γ€€οΌ©γ€€ο½ο½Œο½—ο½ο½™ο½“γ€€ο½…ο½Žο½„γ€€ο½•ο½γ€€ο½“ο½‰ο½”ο½”ο½‰ο½Žο½‡γ€€ο½ˆο½…ο½’ο½…οΌŒγ€€ο½‰ο½Žγ€€ο½†ο½’ο½ο½Žο½”γ€€ο½ο½†γ€€ο½ο½™γ€€ο½ƒο½ο½ο½ ο½•ο½”ο½…ο½’οΌŽγ€€οΌ©γ€€ο½“ο½”ο½ο½’ο½…γ€€ο½ο½”γ€€ο½”ο½ˆο½…γ€€ο½“ο½ƒο½’ο½…ο½…ο½Žγ€€ο½†ο½ο½’γ€€ο½ˆο½ο½•ο½’ο½“γ€€ο½ο½Žο½„γ€€ο½”ο½’ο½™γ€€ο½”ο½γ€€ο½“ ο½•ο½ο½ο½ο½Žγ€€IcefrogοΌŽγ€€οΌ©γ€€ο½—ο½ο½”ο½ƒο½ˆγ€€ο½ο½”ο½ˆο½…ο½’γ€€ο½‡ο½ο½ο½…ο½“γ€€ο½•ο½ο½„ο½ο½”ο½‰ο½Žο½‡γ€€ο½ο½Žο½„γ€€ο½‡ο½… ο½”ο½”ο½‰ο½Žο½‡γ€€ο½Žο½…ο½—γ€€ο½ˆο½…ο½’ο½ο½…ο½“γ€€ο½‚ο½•ο½”γ€€ο½‰ο½”γ€€ο½‰ο½“γ€€ο½Žο½γ€€ο½‡ο½ο½ο½„οΌŽγ€€οΌ©γ€€ο½ƒο½ο½•ο½Žο½”ο½…ο½’γ€€ο½ο½‰ο½ƒο½‹ γ€€οΌ³ο½Žο½‰ο½ο½…ο½’γ€€ο½”ο½γ€€ο½’ο½…ο½“ο½‰ο½“ο½”γ€€ο½”ο½ˆο½…γ€€ο½ο½…ο½”ο½οΌŒγ€€ο½‚ο½•ο½”γ€€ο½‰ο½”'ο½“γ€€ο½ο½Œο½Œγ€€ο½ο½…ο½ο½Žο½‰ο½Žο½‡ο½Œο½… ο½“ο½“οΌŽγ€€οΌ΄ο½ˆο½…γ€€ο½…ο½Žο½„γ€€ο½‰ο½“γ€€ο½Žο½…ο½ο½’οΌŽγ€€οΌ΄ο½ˆο½…ο½Žγ€€οΌ©γ€€ο½Œο½ο½ο½‹γ€€ο½ο½Žγ€€ο½”ο½ˆο½…γ€€ο½ο½ο½”ο½ƒο½ˆοΌο½•ο½ο½„ο½ ο½”ο½…γ€€ο½ˆο½‰ο½“ο½”ο½ο½’ο½™γ€€ο½ο½Žο½„γ€€ο½ƒο½’ο½™γ€€ο½ο½™ο½“ο½…ο½Œο½†γ€€ο½”ο½γ€€ο½“ο½Œο½…ο½…ο½οΌŽ
twitch chat
April 2015
SingSing

Dota 2

Raid Shadow Legends changed my life

twitchquotes: i used to play fortnite all nite. no sleep! but ever since obama told me to try raid shadow legends for free, i am addicted. this game is a game. it has graphics. it has characters. best of all it has a loot box mechanic to enhance my experience even more by adding another exciting chance based layer to the game! two week ago i spend all my money becoming a raid shadow legend. now i live in a dumpster outside a mcdonalds with free wifi. at night i sneak into the mcdonalds just like my new racoon dad, stripey, taught me to do so that i can charge my phone. through the cracked screen i am still perpetually amazed at the graphics of this game... they look so real! thank you obama, you truly change my life!
twitch chat
January 2020
Text-to-Speech Playing