[Copypasta] War Thunder is like playing chess

It's not that the game is addicting, it's just that there are no decent alternatives. War Thunder is basically the intellectual version of the FPS games that all the stupid children and mongoloid brains play. Instead of just being based purely on twitch "skills" which require as much intellectual ability as closing popup spam windows, in War Thunder you have to use at least some tactics and strategy. FPS games are like playing Pong on high speed. War Thunder is like playing chess. The art of gaming is simply dead for big brains. 20 years ago there were tons of games that required brainpower because PC gaming back then was by nerds and for nerds, but then the corporate suits took over and were like "broaden the appeal to we can make more sales" so everything got dumbed down to the lowest common denominator. My GF asked me if I was "having fun" playing War Thunder, and I looked at her like she was a fucking retard to even consider that sentence a valid question. I don't have FUN playing War Thunder. This game routinely pisses me off and makes me rage. However, when I stomp the entire enemy team and crush them so utterly I can hear the lamentations of their mothers, I feel satisfaction. I spent weeks grinding for Operation Winter. The vikings had a word for this. They called it Valhalla. Endless war. Endless combat. Knowing only victory and death. Bathing in the blood of your enemies. You get 15 kills and bask in glory and rewards, and think: what should I do now? Should I get in my Honda Fit and tour the local strip mall for my Triumph? Should I microwave some tendies and throw myself a great Feast? But there is only one option. There is only ever one option. To Battle! Various cultures have alternatively described the gameplay loop of War Thunder as their vision of Heaven or Hell. It is both.
January 2021
I used to be a real ad
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This Disney DVD is enhanced with Disney's FastPlay

twitchquotes: ๐™๐™๐™ž๐™จ ๐˜ฟ๐™ž๐™จ๐™ฃ๐™š๐™ฎ ๐˜ฟ๐™‘๐˜ฟ ๐™ž๐™จ ๐™š๐™ฃ๐™๐™–๐™ฃ๐™˜๐™š๐™™ ๐™ฌ๐™ž๐™ฉ๐™ ๐˜ฟ๐™ž๐™จ๐™ฃ๐™š๐™ฎโ€™๐™จ ๐™๐™–๐™จ๐™ฉ๐™‹๐™ก๐™–๐™ฎ. ๐™”๐™ค๐™ช๐™ง ๐™ข๐™ค๐™ซ๐™ž๐™š ๐™–๐™ฃ๐™™ ๐™– ๐™จ๐™š๐™ก๐™š๐™˜๐™ฉ๐™ž๐™ค๐™ฃ ๐™ค๐™› ๐™—๐™ค๐™ฃ๐™ช๐™จ ๐™›๐™š๐™–๐™ฉ๐™ช๐™ง๐™š๐™จ ๐™ฌ๐™ž๐™ก๐™ก ๐™—๐™š๐™œ๐™ž๐™ฃ ๐™–๐™ช๐™ฉ๐™ค๐™ข๐™–๐™ฉ๐™ž๐™˜๐™–๐™ก๐™ก๐™ฎ. ๐™๐™ค ๐™—๐™ฎ๐™ฅ๐™–๐™จ๐™จ ๐™๐™–๐™จ๐™ฉ ๐™‹๐™ก๐™–๐™ฎ, ๐™จ๐™š๐™ก๐™š๐™˜๐™ฉ ๐™ฉ๐™๐™š ๐™ˆ๐™–๐™ž๐™ฃ ๐™ˆ๐™š๐™ฃ๐™ช ๐™—๐™ช๐™ฉ๐™ฉ๐™ค๐™ฃ ๐™–๐™ฉ ๐™–๐™ฃ๐™ฎ ๐™ฉ๐™ž๐™ข๐™š. ๐™๐™–๐™จ๐™ฉ ๐™‹๐™ก๐™–๐™ฎ ๐™ฌ๐™ž๐™ก๐™ก ๐™—๐™š๐™œ๐™ž๐™ฃ ๐™ž๐™ฃ ๐™– ๐™ข๐™ค๐™ข๐™š๐™ฃ๐™ฉโ€ฆ
twitch chat
May 2019

Hello Mr TidesofTime, this is Google's manager Gabe Horn

twitchquotes: Hello Mr TidesofTime, this is Google's manager Gabe Horn here. We have received word you are singing to your viewers. As a Streamer on our newest acquisition, Twitch, your voice is now copy-righted. Please stop immediately. Thank you.
twitch chat
August 2014
TidesOfTime

Holy shit! You identify as an attack helicopter?

Holy shit! You identify as an attack helicopter? Iโ€™ve never heard that joke before, but itโ€™s so genius! You sir, or madame, or helicopter, are the absolute most hilarious and original person I have ever seen in my entire life. Move over, Jerry Seinfeld. Get lost, Brian Regan. Out of the way, Family Guy Funny Moments Compilation #53. Thereโ€™s a new funniest man in town. Holy shit, I just canโ€™t get over this joke. Iโ€™m giggling and guffawing harder than ever before. You should win an Oscar and an Emmy and a Grammy and a Nickelodeon Kidโ€™s Choice Award. Attack helicopter gender! Wow! So funny! Take that, liberals! Haha. Every night since I was born I have looked up to the plastic glow-in-the-dark stars on my ceiling and wondered, โ€œI hope one day I can be as funny as the attack helicopter gender guy.โ€ I will tell my children, and my childrenโ€™s children, all about the absolute hilarity that went down just now. You just broke the Guinness World Record for funniest and most original jokester on the planet. Iโ€™m fucking simultaneously shitting and cumming because this joke is just so funny. Holy shit. That was an amazing joke, my guy. Iโ€™m gonna make a subreddit dedicated entirely to this one joke. Itโ€™s gonna get thousands of members! History books will forever remember the time you said, โ€œI identify as an attack helicopter.โ€ Itโ€™ll go right there in the important quote book, right between Patrick Henry and Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. I just canโ€™t believe I was here to witness such grandeur. I was here! I think Iโ€™m going to make a whole religion based on worshipping you, my glorious and hilarious attack helicopter God. This is just so funny I canโ€™t believe it! Hahahahahahahahahaha! I think Iโ€™m going to go to the hospital and fucking die from laughing to hard, but thatโ€™s okay! This is even funnier than that guy who said he identified as a toaster! Can you believe it? I never thought that very different joke could be topped, but here we are! Did I mention how funny and original that joke was? Ah, well done, sir, or madame, or helicopter. This is an experience I wonโ€™t forget any time soon. Ha. Haha. Ha. Lol. Lmao. Haha. Jajaja. Lmfao. Rofl, rotfl, ha.
June 2021

you are now manually breathing

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July 2017

what happens when you give t1 viagra?

twitchquotes: what happens when you give t1 viagra? he grows taller
twitch chat
March 2018
Tyler1
Text-to-Speech Playing