[Copypasta] War Thunder is like playing chess

It's not that the game is addicting, it's just that there are no decent alternatives. War Thunder is basically the intellectual version of the FPS games that all the stupid children and mongoloid brains play. Instead of just being based purely on twitch "skills" which require as much intellectual ability as closing popup spam windows, in War Thunder you have to use at least some tactics and strategy. FPS games are like playing Pong on high speed. War Thunder is like playing chess. The art of gaming is simply dead for big brains. 20 years ago there were tons of games that required brainpower because PC gaming back then was by nerds and for nerds, but then the corporate suits took over and were like "broaden the appeal to we can make more sales" so everything got dumbed down to the lowest common denominator. My GF asked me if I was "having fun" playing War Thunder, and I looked at her like she was a fucking retard to even consider that sentence a valid question. I don't have FUN playing War Thunder. This game routinely pisses me off and makes me rage. However, when I stomp the entire enemy team and crush them so utterly I can hear the lamentations of their mothers, I feel satisfaction. I spent weeks grinding for Operation Winter. The vikings had a word for this. They called it Valhalla. Endless war. Endless combat. Knowing only victory and death. Bathing in the blood of your enemies. You get 15 kills and bask in glory and rewards, and think: what should I do now? Should I get in my Honda Fit and tour the local strip mall for my Triumph? Should I microwave some tendies and throw myself a great Feast? But there is only one option. There is only ever one option. To Battle! Various cultures have alternatively described the gameplay loop of War Thunder as their vision of Heaven or Hell. It is both.
January 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

You have been gifted the Golden Kappa!

twitchquotes: โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€” imGlitch You have been gifted the Golden Kappa!โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”
twitch chat
January 2017

Classic

My husband of 5 years bought me Reddit Gold for my anniversary

My 5-Year anniversary with my husband was last week. The traditional gift for 5 years is silverware. I wanted a new set and told my husband which he could get me as a gift. I knew he wanted an Apple Watch and bought that as my gift to him. On the day of our anniversary, I logged onto Reddit to find dozens of my posts and comments guilded. I found it odd as I donโ€™t post terribly often and the guilded comments were old. Itโ€™s also the first time Iโ€™ve received Reddit gold. When the time came to exchange gifts, he gleefully opened his Apple Watch and begin setting it up. I figured Iโ€™m all the excitement he forgot to give me my gift so I gently prodded him. He told me to check Reddit. Ladies and Gentlemen, my husband GUILDED me 24 times as an anniversary gift. Heโ€™s a bit of a jokester, so I figured my real gift was coming. But Reddit, itโ€™s been a week. Do I say something? Buy the silverware myself? Some combination of the two? I feel if I donโ€™t say something then the cycle will repeat itself.
September 2021

Reddit

Upside-dong

twitchquotes: ( อœo อกส– อœo) im upside-dong ( อœo อกส– อœo)
twitch chat
August 2014
MushIsGosu

Stick figure sex

โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โฃ โฃคโฃ„โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โขฐโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโกทโ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โข€โฃ™โก›โ ›โ โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โข€โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโก†โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โฃพโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃงโ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โฃ€โฃ€โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โขฐโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโ ™โฃฟโฃงโ €โฃคโฃถโฃ„โฃพโฃฟโฃฟโฃทโ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โขปโฃฟโฃฟโฃ‡โฃดโฃฎโกฟโฃฟโกŸโ ›โ โฃ™โ ฟโ ฟโ ‹โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ ˜โฃฟโฃฟโกโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃพโฃพโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃทโ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โข€โฃ€โฃ€โฃ€โฃฟโฃฟโก‡โขฟโฃฟโก‡โ ˆโ ‰โ ปโกฟโฃฟโกโ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ ˜โ ฟโ ฟโ ฟโ ฟโ ฟโ งโ ฟโ ฟโ ‡โ €โ €โ €โ €โ ฟโ ฟโ ฟโ ฟโ —
ascii art
June 2021

NSFW

Scary face

โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘(โ—)โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’(โ—)โ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–‘ โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–‘ โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–‘ โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–‘ โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–‘ โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–‘ โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–‘ โ–‘โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–’โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘ โ–‘โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–’โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘
ascii art
November 2014
More Copypastas
Text-to-Speech Playing