[Copypasta] War Thunder is like playing chess

It's not that the game is addicting, it's just that there are no decent alternatives. War Thunder is basically the intellectual version of the FPS games that all the stupid children and mongoloid brains play. Instead of just being based purely on twitch "skills" which require as much intellectual ability as closing popup spam windows, in War Thunder you have to use at least some tactics and strategy. FPS games are like playing Pong on high speed. War Thunder is like playing chess. The art of gaming is simply dead for big brains. 20 years ago there were tons of games that required brainpower because PC gaming back then was by nerds and for nerds, but then the corporate suits took over and were like "broaden the appeal to we can make more sales" so everything got dumbed down to the lowest common denominator. My GF asked me if I was "having fun" playing War Thunder, and I looked at her like she was a fucking retard to even consider that sentence a valid question. I don't have FUN playing War Thunder. This game routinely pisses me off and makes me rage. However, when I stomp the entire enemy team and crush them so utterly I can hear the lamentations of their mothers, I feel satisfaction. I spent weeks grinding for Operation Winter. The vikings had a word for this. They called it Valhalla. Endless war. Endless combat. Knowing only victory and death. Bathing in the blood of your enemies. You get 15 kills and bask in glory and rewards, and think: what should I do now? Should I get in my Honda Fit and tour the local strip mall for my Triumph? Should I microwave some tendies and throw myself a great Feast? But there is only one option. There is only ever one option. To Battle! Various cultures have alternatively described the gameplay loop of War Thunder as their vision of Heaven or Hell. It is both.
January 2021
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VEGAN COPY PASTA

twitchquotes: One day I was watching Kripp and I wanted to be cool like everyone in chat, so I made my own copy pastaroni. Here it is guys. I tried my hardest to be witty, clever, and funny. This what I like to call VEGAN COPY PASTA. Please copy and paste as much as you like, as it is not only entertaining but also healthy for you!
twitch chat
January 2017
Kripp

This is the shittiest reply ever Modern Warfare version

twitchquotes: This is the shittiest reply ever. Modern Warfare requires movement, camping, claymoring, rotating, and hitting shots. There are not “positions” in Modern Warfare. A kickers job is LITERALLY to kick. Horrible analogy, kind of embarrassing.
twitch chat
December 2019

Smirk

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February 2021

Hi my nam is Rebuken from Yugoslavia

twitchquotes: Hi my nam is Rebuken Im Challenged 5 in yugoslavic server 550 ping. You big insperatino to me and wish we can trio duo queueue so we be the best league of llemons team in america. I has green car to go to america and i barely speako englisho. this is transalte from gaagle pro. Byes XOXO, kiss love. :D
twitch chat
December 2014
imaqtpie

League of Legends

Jokerd I can do whatever I want

twitchquotes: Who do I think I am? Let me tell you who I am. I am world first level 60 in fucking classic wow. I can do whatever the fuck I want. You think I'm a random player? You think I'm a fucking random player? Let me fucking clue you in bitch. I am the the guy who had 350 fucking thousand viewers playing this fucking game. Me, not you. The most views ever on this game. The first guy to hit 60. I can do whatever the fuck I want.
twitch chat
November 2020
JokerdTV
Text-to-Speech Playing