[Copypasta] War Thunder is like playing chess

It's not that the game is addicting, it's just that there are no decent alternatives. War Thunder is basically the intellectual version of the FPS games that all the stupid children and mongoloid brains play. Instead of just being based purely on twitch "skills" which require as much intellectual ability as closing popup spam windows, in War Thunder you have to use at least some tactics and strategy. FPS games are like playing Pong on high speed. War Thunder is like playing chess. The art of gaming is simply dead for big brains. 20 years ago there were tons of games that required brainpower because PC gaming back then was by nerds and for nerds, but then the corporate suits took over and were like "broaden the appeal to we can make more sales" so everything got dumbed down to the lowest common denominator. My GF asked me if I was "having fun" playing War Thunder, and I looked at her like she was a fucking retard to even consider that sentence a valid question. I don't have FUN playing War Thunder. This game routinely pisses me off and makes me rage. However, when I stomp the entire enemy team and crush them so utterly I can hear the lamentations of their mothers, I feel satisfaction. I spent weeks grinding for Operation Winter. The vikings had a word for this. They called it Valhalla. Endless war. Endless combat. Knowing only victory and death. Bathing in the blood of your enemies. You get 15 kills and bask in glory and rewards, and think: what should I do now? Should I get in my Honda Fit and tour the local strip mall for my Triumph? Should I microwave some tendies and throw myself a great Feast? But there is only one option. There is only ever one option. To Battle! Various cultures have alternatively described the gameplay loop of War Thunder as their vision of Heaven or Hell. It is both.
January 2021
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

"Just one more" Kripp muttered

twitchquotes: "Just one more" Kripp muttered, as the sun slowly rose over the Canadian horizon. His forehead dripping with Vegan sweat, his eyes droopy with fatigue, Rania at the door with suitcases of her stuff and signed divorce papers, and Dex a mere pile of starved bones, Kripp once again clicked the Queue button with Ashka at the ready. "This time I'll get MVP for sure."
twitch chat
March 2018
Kripp

Battlerite

Middle finger

....................../麓炉/) ....................,/炉../ .................../..../ ............./麓炉/'...'/麓炉炉`路赂 ........../'/.../..../......./篓炉\ ........('(...麓...麓.... 炉~/'...') .........\.................'...../ ..........''...\.......... _.路麓 ............\..............( ..............\.............\...
February 2021

jerma got so angry at the one guy in chat

One day jerma got so angry at the one guy in chat who was being mean and spamming residentsleeper, he quite literally stuck his hands into his screen and yanked really hard. Out came this 5'9 brown haired highschooler who instantly began begging for his life. However, jerma growled really loud and started chanting the lyrics to "I'm a Walrus" by the beatles. The mods, the chat, no one could stop what happened next. Chat was spamming PauseChamp. Then Jerma just grabbed the poor highschooler by his neck and lifted him off the floor and began to spin him really fast.. His guts came flying out with the sheer force that jerma used to spin him. The camera was stained with blood and chat was all spamming monkaW and "LULW typical One guy moment". After a couple of moments jerma wiped the red marking from the camera and sat back down as if nothing happened. The weirdest part was that he started talking about soy milk and how he wasn't a sponsor with any soy milk company. He seemed quite annoyed that he wasnt a sponsor but continued to elaborate on how much he loved soy milk, but only that one specific brand of soy milk. I'm telling you, the one guy residentsleeper spammers are annoying as hell. EDIT: Unfortunately that segment of the VOD was deleted due to DMCA issues with Jerma singing The Beatles.
July 2022
Jerma985

Doesn't mean I'm a virgin

twitchquotes: 馃槨 Just because I watch Kripp 馃槨 doesn't mean I'm a virgin 馃槨 It's just a coincidence 馃槨
twitch chat
August 2018
Kripp

This "Okayge COCK" trend has got to be the WORST "meta" I have ever seen

This "Okayge COCK" trend has got to be the WORST "meta" I have ever seen, truly a new low for you brain dead ForsenBoys I know you Forsen viewers are not the brightest of the Twitch community, but holy shit this is a new low. Obviously, you people can't create any original content, so you resort to stealing other streamers ideas and overuse them to death. I'll admit, the "Doctor transparent" jokes were kinda funny at first but now anytime Doc is mentioned, a 12 year old Forsen fan and their mom post"hurr durr cheating" "hurr durr I can't see anything" it's ridiculous. Then there's the "Forcent bags molding", "Clip it and ship it" too. As if you guys can create anything without content from superior streamers like Doc or Xqc. And god forbid, you guys actually came up with some original stuff, and what is it? Literally a retarded frog spamming COCK. This is the absolute bottom of the barrel spam content. No better than grade schoolers drawing penises on the bathroom wall. Literally 50 IQ spam content. Yet, you guys have the audacity to mock other streamers and their fans for being immature. Whenever you are not spamming these garbage memes, it's blatant racism and sexism in chat. "CmonBruh" "Hotpokket" should be banned. I type "HaHaa" in response to these spams because I literally cringe at the thought of racist and sexist existing in the 21st century. Please stop this discriminatory act and grow up. I'm ashamed to be in the same Twitch communities as you childish fans
January 2022
Forsen
Text-to-Speech Playing