[Copypasta] War Thunder is like playing chess

It's not that the game is addicting, it's just that there are no decent alternatives. War Thunder is basically the intellectual version of the FPS games that all the stupid children and mongoloid brains play. Instead of just being based purely on twitch "skills" which require as much intellectual ability as closing popup spam windows, in War Thunder you have to use at least some tactics and strategy. FPS games are like playing Pong on high speed. War Thunder is like playing chess. The art of gaming is simply dead for big brains. 20 years ago there were tons of games that required brainpower because PC gaming back then was by nerds and for nerds, but then the corporate suits took over and were like "broaden the appeal to we can make more sales" so everything got dumbed down to the lowest common denominator. My GF asked me if I was "having fun" playing War Thunder, and I looked at her like she was a fucking retard to even consider that sentence a valid question. I don't have FUN playing War Thunder. This game routinely pisses me off and makes me rage. However, when I stomp the entire enemy team and crush them so utterly I can hear the lamentations of their mothers, I feel satisfaction. I spent weeks grinding for Operation Winter. The vikings had a word for this. They called it Valhalla. Endless war. Endless combat. Knowing only victory and death. Bathing in the blood of your enemies. You get 15 kills and bask in glory and rewards, and think: what should I do now? Should I get in my Honda Fit and tour the local strip mall for my Triumph? Should I microwave some tendies and throw myself a great Feast? But there is only one option. There is only ever one option. To Battle! Various cultures have alternatively described the gameplay loop of War Thunder as their vision of Heaven or Hell. It is both.
January 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Scary mask

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠣⡑⡕⡱⡸⡀⡢⡂⢨⠀⡌⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡕⢅⠕⢘⢜⠰⣱⢱⢱⢕⢵⠰⡱⡱⢘⡄⡎⠌⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠱⡸⡸⡨⢸⢸⢈⢮⡪⣣⣣⡣⡇⣫⡺⡸⡜⡎⡢⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢱⢱⠵⢹⢸⢼⡐⡵⣝⢮⢖⢯⡪⡲⡝⠕⣝⢮⢪⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠂⡮⠁⠐⠀⡀⡀⠑⢝⢮⣳⣫⢳⡙⠐⠀⡠⡀⠀⠑⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠣⠐⠀ ⭕  ⠀⠀⢪⢺⣪⢣⠀⡀ ⭕ .⠈⡈⠀⡀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⡝⣕⢄⡀⠑⢙⠉⠁⡠⡣⢯⡪⣇⢇⢀⠀⠡⠁⠁⡠⡢⠡⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢑⢕⢧⣣⢐⡄⣄⡍⡎⡮⣳⢽⡸⡸⡊⣧⣢⠀⣕⠜⡌⠌⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠌⡪⡪⠳⣝⢞⡆⡇⡣⡯⣞⢜⡜⡄⡧⡗⡇⠣⡃⡂⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠨⢊⢜⢜⣝⣪⢪⠌⢩⢪⢃⢱⣱⢹⢪⢪⠊⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⠡⡑⠜⢎⢗⢕⢘⢜⢜⢜⠜⠕⠡⠡⡈⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⡢⢀⠈⠨⣂⡐⢅⢕⢐⠁⠡⠡⢁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢈⠢⠀⡀⡐⡍⢪⢘⠀⠀⠡⡑⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠨⢂⠀⠌⠘⢜⠘⠀⢌⠰⡈⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢑⢸⢌⢖⢠⢀⠪⡂
November 2018

WideHardo

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⣿⣿⠻⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⣿⣻⠛⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⣡⣤⣬⣿⣿⣛⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠷⠂⠈⠻⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡿⢃⣾⣿⣍⣴⡆⠄⢠⣍⣹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⢡⡀⠄⠠⠄⠄⠈⢻⣿ ⣿⡿⠉⠐⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠓⠄⠠⣶⣶⣶⣿⠇⢸⣿ ⡿⠄⠠⣤⣽⣿⣿⣍⣠⣤⣤⣭⣬⣭⣿⣿⣯⣤⣄⡀⠄⣀⡀⣠⣭⡤⠄⣸⣿ ⡇⠄⠄⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣏⡜⢋⣼⣿⠟⠄⣰⣿⣿ ⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠙⠛⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢟⣿⣿⡿⠟⠉⠄⠄⠙⢿⣿ ⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠉⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢹
April 2021

Not funny I didn't laugh

Not funny I didn't laugh. Your joke is so bad I would have preferred the joke went over my head and you gave up re-telling me the joke. To be honest this is a horrid attempt at trying to get a laugh out of me. Not a chuckle, not a hehe, not even a subtle burst of air out of my esophagus. Science says before you laugh your brain preps your face muscles but I didn't even feel the slightest twitch. 0/10 this joke is so bad I cannot believe anyone legally allowed you to be creative at all. The amount of brain power you must have put into that joke has the potential to power every house on Earth. Get a personality and learn how to make jokes, read a book. I'm not saying this to be funny I genuinely mean it on how this is just bottom barrel embarrassment at comedy. You've single handedly killed humor and every comedic act on the planet. I'm so disappointed that society has failed as a whole in being able to teach you how to be funny. Honestly if I put in all my power and time to try and make your joke funny it would require Einstein himself to build a device to strap me into so I can be connected to the energy of a billion stars to do it, and even then all that joke would get from people is a subtle scuff. You're lucky I still have the slightest of empathy for you after telling that joke otherwise I would have committed every war crime in the book just to prevent you from attempting any humor ever again. We should put that joke in text books so future generations can be wary of becoming such an absolute comedic failure. Im disappointed, hurt, and outright offended that my precious time has been wasted in my brain understanding that joke. In the time that took I was planning on helping kids who have been orphaned, but because of that you've waisted my time explaining the obscene integrity of your terrible attempt at comedy. Now those kids are suffering without meals and there's nobody to blame but you. I hope you're happy with what you have done and I truly hope you can move on and learn from this piss poor attempt
September 2019

Classic

It has been 4 hours since I successfully sucked...

It has been 4 hours since I successfully sucked my own penis. Things are different now. As soon as mouth-to-penis contact was made I felt a shockwave through my body. I have reason to believe I have super strength and telekinesis now.. 3 hours after contact I noticed a van parked on my street but no one has entered or exited the car since its arrival. I fear for my safety, I'm not sure what sort of power I may have stumbled upon but it's possible that the government has found out
March 2017

Classic

OpieOP

twitchquotes: ᴌOpieOPށ ᴌOpieOPށ ᴌOpieOPށ
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing