[Copypasta] War Thunder is like playing chess

It's not that the game is addicting, it's just that there are no decent alternatives. War Thunder is basically the intellectual version of the FPS games that all the stupid children and mongoloid brains play. Instead of just being based purely on twitch "skills" which require as much intellectual ability as closing popup spam windows, in War Thunder you have to use at least some tactics and strategy. FPS games are like playing Pong on high speed. War Thunder is like playing chess. The art of gaming is simply dead for big brains. 20 years ago there were tons of games that required brainpower because PC gaming back then was by nerds and for nerds, but then the corporate suits took over and were like "broaden the appeal to we can make more sales" so everything got dumbed down to the lowest common denominator. My GF asked me if I was "having fun" playing War Thunder, and I looked at her like she was a fucking retard to even consider that sentence a valid question. I don't have FUN playing War Thunder. This game routinely pisses me off and makes me rage. However, when I stomp the entire enemy team and crush them so utterly I can hear the lamentations of their mothers, I feel satisfaction. I spent weeks grinding for Operation Winter. The vikings had a word for this. They called it Valhalla. Endless war. Endless combat. Knowing only victory and death. Bathing in the blood of your enemies. You get 15 kills and bask in glory and rewards, and think: what should I do now? Should I get in my Honda Fit and tour the local strip mall for my Triumph? Should I microwave some tendies and throw myself a great Feast? But there is only one option. There is only ever one option. To Battle! Various cultures have alternatively described the gameplay loop of War Thunder as their vision of Heaven or Hell. It is both.
January 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

FitnessGram Pacer Test

The FitnessGramโ„ข Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.
September 2016

Classic

Twitter doesn't like copypasta

Weโ€™ve seen an increase in โ€˜copypasta,โ€™ an attempt by many accounts to copy, paste, and Tweet the same phrase. ๐Ÿ๐Ÿ” When we see this behavior, we may limit the visibility of the Tweets. https://help.twitter.com/en/safety-and-security/tweet-visibility
May 2022

MLK day emojipasta

heyyy ๐Ÿ‘‹ Marthin Luther QUEENS ๐Ÿ‘ฏโ€โ™€๏ธ i have a dream ๐Ÿ˜ด ๐Ÿ›Œ that you will be dicked ๐Ÿ† down โฌ‡๏ธ tonight like DADDY ๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿฟโ€๐Ÿฆณ Martin Luther King Jr. would have wanted ๐Ÿ˜ŒโœŠ๐Ÿฟ so MARCH ๐Ÿšถโ€โ™€๏ธ on down โฌ‡๏ธ to his washington monument ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ and have a SIT IN ๐ŸงŽโ€โ™€๏ธ on that DICK ๐Ÿ†๐Ÿ† Make sure to ABOLISH his KKKOCK ๐Ÿ—ฝ like a TRUE PATRIOT ๐Ÿ—ฝ segregate those cheeks ๐Ÿ‘ tonight it doesnโ€™t matter ๐Ÿ™…โ€โ™€๏ธ if his fountain ๐Ÿ†๐Ÿ’ฆ is BLACK or WHITE ๐Ÿค we are all CUMRADES ๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿ’ฆ in the fight against discrimination ๐Ÿ˜ SOAK those PANTIFA ๐Ÿฉฒ our TWERK is not over โ€ผ๏ธ SEND this ๐Ÿ“ค to โœŒ๏ธ every WOKE HOE ๐Ÿคฏ you know ๐Ÿ†˜ Get 2๏ธโƒฃ0๏ธโƒฃ BACK to END racism โœŠ and UNITE the races in SEXUAL ๐Ÿ‘‰๐Ÿ‘Œ HARMONY โ˜ฎ๏ธ
January 2024

Emoji Pasta

Holiday Emoji

MLK Day

My husband of 5 years bought me Reddit Gold for my anniversary

My 5-Year anniversary with my husband was last week. The traditional gift for 5 years is silverware. I wanted a new set and told my husband which he could get me as a gift. I knew he wanted an Apple Watch and bought that as my gift to him. On the day of our anniversary, I logged onto Reddit to find dozens of my posts and comments guilded. I found it odd as I donโ€™t post terribly often and the guilded comments were old. Itโ€™s also the first time Iโ€™ve received Reddit gold. When the time came to exchange gifts, he gleefully opened his Apple Watch and begin setting it up. I figured Iโ€™m all the excitement he forgot to give me my gift so I gently prodded him. He told me to check Reddit. Ladies and Gentlemen, my husband GUILDED me 24 times as an anniversary gift. Heโ€™s a bit of a jokester, so I figured my real gift was coming. But Reddit, itโ€™s been a week. Do I say something? Buy the silverware myself? Some combination of the two? I feel if I donโ€™t say something then the cycle will repeat itself.
September 2021

Reddit

Hey guys Papparian here!

twitchquotes: Hey guys Papparian here! I wanted to check in and make sure my Little Kripp baby is acting like a nice little boy. He has been known to cry from time to time about RNG so please make sure you spam BabyRage NEVER LUCKY BabyRage when he loses RNG, to keep his little baby butt in check. Thanks, no copy pasterino.
twitch chat
September 2015
Kripp

salty

neverlucky

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