[Copypasta] War Thunder is like playing chess

It's not that the game is addicting, it's just that there are no decent alternatives. War Thunder is basically the intellectual version of the FPS games that all the stupid children and mongoloid brains play. Instead of just being based purely on twitch "skills" which require as much intellectual ability as closing popup spam windows, in War Thunder you have to use at least some tactics and strategy. FPS games are like playing Pong on high speed. War Thunder is like playing chess. The art of gaming is simply dead for big brains. 20 years ago there were tons of games that required brainpower because PC gaming back then was by nerds and for nerds, but then the corporate suits took over and were like "broaden the appeal to we can make more sales" so everything got dumbed down to the lowest common denominator. My GF asked me if I was "having fun" playing War Thunder, and I looked at her like she was a fucking retard to even consider that sentence a valid question. I don't have FUN playing War Thunder. This game routinely pisses me off and makes me rage. However, when I stomp the entire enemy team and crush them so utterly I can hear the lamentations of their mothers, I feel satisfaction. I spent weeks grinding for Operation Winter. The vikings had a word for this. They called it Valhalla. Endless war. Endless combat. Knowing only victory and death. Bathing in the blood of your enemies. You get 15 kills and bask in glory and rewards, and think: what should I do now? Should I get in my Honda Fit and tour the local strip mall for my Triumph? Should I microwave some tendies and throw myself a great Feast? But there is only one option. There is only ever one option. To Battle! Various cultures have alternatively described the gameplay loop of War Thunder as their vision of Heaven or Hell. It is both.
January 2021
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The year is 2025. MoonMoon_Ow lies on his deathbed

twitchquotes: The year is 2025. MoonMoon_Ow lies on his deathbed, the countless years of oatmeal infighting finally having taken their toll. He struggles to adjust his eyes to the glare of his computer screen, yearning to view his beloved twitch chat one more time. All he sees is degenerate weeb spam. His eyes brim with tears. He begins gasping his final breath, and in his final moments he tells Chat "K"
twitch chat
September 2017
MOONMOON

MORB

⣿⣿⠿⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⣿⣿⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⡿⠋⠁⠀⣀⣀⣀⣀⠀⠈⠙⢿⣿ ⣿⣿⠀⠀⢠⠀⠀⢿⣿⡟⠀⢠⠀⠀⠀⣿⡿⠀⠀⢠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠀⠀⢻ ⣿⣿⠀⠀⢸⣇⠀⠈⡿⠀⠀⣼⡆⠀⠀⣿⡇⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⢸ ⣿⣿⠀⠀⢸⣿⡀⠀⠀⠀⣸⣿⡇⠀⠀⣿⣿⡄⠀⠈⠻⢿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠁⠀⢀⣾ ⣿⣿⣀⣀⣸⣿⣧⣀⣀⣀⣿⣿⣇⣀⣀⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⣀⡀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣠⣴⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀⣀⡀⠀⠈⠙⢿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣀⡀⠀⠈⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠀⠀⢨⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠀⠀⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠀⠀⢀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣴⣾⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀⣀⡀⠀⠘⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣦⡀⠀⠈⠻⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠀⠀⢹⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡀⠀⠘⢻⣿⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠉⠉⠀⠀⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
July 2022

Morbius

Hey Kripp-kun. It's me Samantha-chan!

twitchquotes: H-hey Kripp-kun. It's me Samantha-chan! I know you don't know me that well, I sit in the column closest to the door and in the back row. Oh yeah, duh... LoL, we have Chemistry together with Ms. Raphatello. Ughh, she's such a b****! Anyways I'm being such a baka (LoL that's Japanese for idiot!). Oh, do you like Anime too? I'm sure if you gave it a chance you would too if you don't already watch it ~_~. I always look at you in Chemistry and you never seem to notice me... BAHHH WHAT AM I DOING?!?! GOMENASAI Artour-kun (gomenasai means sorry in Japanese ^.^). Just wanted to say hello and I really love your stream! Good luck Kripp-kun!
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp

Weebs

Classic

xqcM emote

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣀⣀⣀⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣀⣀⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣤⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄⡀⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⣴⣿⣿⣿⠋⠉⠄⠉⠉⠙⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⠛⠉⠓⠢⠄ ⣺⣿⣿⣿⡿⠗⠚⠛⠛⠲⠶⠤⠤⠤⠼⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠄⢀⠤⠶⠖⠺⠿⣶⣷ ⣿⣿⣿⣯⣤⣀⣀⣀⠄⠄⣀⡰⠖⠄⠄⢀⣿⣿⣿⡏⠄⠸⣉⠄⢀⣃⣠⣶⡾⠋ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣴⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠉⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣡⣶⣶⣿⡿⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣀⠄⠄ ⣟⣿⣿⣿⣿⣁⠄⠄⠈⠛⠻⠿⠟⠋⠈⠄⣼⣥⠄⠄⠈⠋⠉⠉⣽⡿⠿⢛⠇⠄ ⣧⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⣄⣀⣄⠄⠄⢀⣠⣄⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣠⣠⣤⣾⠃⠄⠄ ⣶⣌⣚⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢛⣫⣴⠆⠉⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣌⣃⠈⠙⠛⠻⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠛⠛⠛⣼⣿⡋⣾⡇⣤⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⢟⡛⣵⣿⣿⣿⣿⡶⣮⡵⢟⡂⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⣩⣶⢂⣭⣭⣭⣴⣾⣿⣷⡝⣿⣿⠯⠭⠶⡽⢗⠿⠃⠄⠄⠄ ⠘⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢇⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⡇⡇⠘⠓⠷⠾⠄⠗⠘⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
May 2019
xQcOW

monkaS BUTTON

twitchquotes: monkaS 👉 🔴 BUTTON monkaS 👉 🔴 monkaS 👉 🔴 BUTTON monkaS 👉 🔴
twitch chat
June 2017
Kripp

Hearthstone

Text-to-Speech Playing