[Copypasta] War Thunder is like playing chess

It's not that the game is addicting, it's just that there are no decent alternatives. War Thunder is basically the intellectual version of the FPS games that all the stupid children and mongoloid brains play. Instead of just being based purely on twitch "skills" which require as much intellectual ability as closing popup spam windows, in War Thunder you have to use at least some tactics and strategy. FPS games are like playing Pong on high speed. War Thunder is like playing chess. The art of gaming is simply dead for big brains. 20 years ago there were tons of games that required brainpower because PC gaming back then was by nerds and for nerds, but then the corporate suits took over and were like "broaden the appeal to we can make more sales" so everything got dumbed down to the lowest common denominator. My GF asked me if I was "having fun" playing War Thunder, and I looked at her like she was a fucking retard to even consider that sentence a valid question. I don't have FUN playing War Thunder. This game routinely pisses me off and makes me rage. However, when I stomp the entire enemy team and crush them so utterly I can hear the lamentations of their mothers, I feel satisfaction. I spent weeks grinding for Operation Winter. The vikings had a word for this. They called it Valhalla. Endless war. Endless combat. Knowing only victory and death. Bathing in the blood of your enemies. You get 15 kills and bask in glory and rewards, and think: what should I do now? Should I get in my Honda Fit and tour the local strip mall for my Triumph? Should I microwave some tendies and throw myself a great Feast? But there is only one option. There is only ever one option. To Battle! Various cultures have alternatively described the gameplay loop of War Thunder as their vision of Heaven or Hell. It is both.
January 2021
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

We The Sus Music changed my dad

So my dad is a raging homophobe. When I was 7 yrs old he nearly beat me to death for sleeping in the same bed as my friend in Minecraft. He overheard me listening to this song and burst into my room. I braced for impact, fearing the worst. Instead he remained silent and I saw this strange look in his eyes that I'd never seen before. He just divorced my mom and told us he is moving to Puerto Rico with his longtime partner Antonio Banderas and he's not coming back. Thank you We The Sus Music!
June 2021

Copy pasters are such idiots.

twitchquotes: Copy pasters are such idiots. Imagine being so dumb you just CTRL + C what other people write? Wasting oxygen for real. Try an original thought please.
twitch chat
March 2020

Happy Thanksgiving emoji

Happy 🦃 Thanksgiving 🦃! Guess what 😯❓it’s that time ⏰ of year 🗓 to gobble 🦃 gobble 🦃 gobble 🦃 up ⬆️ those dicks 🍆 chicks 🐥 and bicks 🤨 (big dicks) 🍆😫😫😫😫 I bet 😏 you’re all 😤😤😤 HORNY-copia 🌽 🥔🥕🌶🍆♋️👀👉👌 for SKANKS-giving 🤪😔🤤🤤😃😁😁 you’ll be saying 💬 thanks 🙏 for giving me all 😫 this 😫 COCK 🥳🥳🥳🥳 send this to 🔟 of your thiccest sluts with those hot 🥵 hot 🔥 tasty 🤤😋 peach pies 🥧 🍑 😏😏 if you know 🤔 what I mean ☺️😘😋 if you get 1️⃣ back 🙄🤬😡 then you and that slut 🤤🤤🤤😫😫😫 have to appropriate Native American culture together 😔🪶🏕 if you get 3️⃣ back 😈🤑 you’re going to get your turkey 🦃 eaten 😋😋😉😉😏 tomorrow night 😱😱😱😱 if you get 5️⃣ back 👀👀 you will be eating your cousin’s 👶🏻 peach 🍑 pie 🥧 just like you’ve always 💯💯💯wanted 😋🤤🥵 if you get 7️⃣ back 🛶 you’ll become 😲😲 a pilgrim 🎩👞 and be the villain 🦹‍♀️ of American 🇺🇸 history 📖📕📚 😔😔😔 if you get all 1️⃣0️⃣ back 🤯😱🤯😱🤯😱🤯 you’ll be feasting 🤤😏 this thanksgiving 👀👀 in more ways than one 😫😏👀🚼💘 okay you sexy 😇 sexy 😈 gobbling turkey poos 🦃🦃🦃 it’s time ⏰ for me to go ➡️ atone 🤣for the sins ✝️ 😔of my ancestors💀💀💀👩🏼‍❤️‍💋‍👨🏼🤰🏼🤱🏼👩‍👧🤪🤪🤪🤪🤪
January 2024

Emoji Pasta

Holiday Emoji

Thanksgiving

They sent me back in time to stop the spams

twitchquotes: i come from future, world got poluted from spams and no one is able to speak or write anymore, they sent me back in time to stop the spams, and start point was twitch. please dont spam , you can spam this massage though Kappa
twitch chat
January 2016
strifecro

gachiGASM hands up

⠄⡄⡆⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⡤⠄⠒⠄⠄⠄⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣄⣠⠄ ⢱⣼⣿⠇⢀⠄⠄⠄⡰⠅⢀⣴⣾⡿⠿⢷⠝⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⡝ ⠸⣿⣿⠗⠋⠄⠄⠠⠂⠄⣿⣿⡧⢒⣂⣼⣿⣄⡚⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠲⣿⣿⡯ ⠄⣿⡿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⣩⣤⣵⡠⡺⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⠃ ⠄⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⢀⡘⣿⣿⣿⣧⠋⠖⠚⠂⢹⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣾⣿⠄ ⠄⣿⣷⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⢁⣏⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⡲⠾⢻⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣸⣿⡟⠄ ⠄⢹⣿⣿⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⢫⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠓⠓⡘⠄⠄⠄⠄⣰⣿⣿⠁⠄ ⠄⠈⠿⠿⠿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠻⠿⠿⠿⠟⠉⠄⠄⠹⠇⠄⠄⠄⠺⠿⠿⠏⠄⠄
November 2018

KappaPride

Text-to-Speech Playing