[Copypasta] War Thunder is like playing chess

It's not that the game is addicting, it's just that there are no decent alternatives. War Thunder is basically the intellectual version of the FPS games that all the stupid children and mongoloid brains play. Instead of just being based purely on twitch "skills" which require as much intellectual ability as closing popup spam windows, in War Thunder you have to use at least some tactics and strategy. FPS games are like playing Pong on high speed. War Thunder is like playing chess. The art of gaming is simply dead for big brains. 20 years ago there were tons of games that required brainpower because PC gaming back then was by nerds and for nerds, but then the corporate suits took over and were like "broaden the appeal to we can make more sales" so everything got dumbed down to the lowest common denominator. My GF asked me if I was "having fun" playing War Thunder, and I looked at her like she was a fucking retard to even consider that sentence a valid question. I don't have FUN playing War Thunder. This game routinely pisses me off and makes me rage. However, when I stomp the entire enemy team and crush them so utterly I can hear the lamentations of their mothers, I feel satisfaction. I spent weeks grinding for Operation Winter. The vikings had a word for this. They called it Valhalla. Endless war. Endless combat. Knowing only victory and death. Bathing in the blood of your enemies. You get 15 kills and bask in glory and rewards, and think: what should I do now? Should I get in my Honda Fit and tour the local strip mall for my Triumph? Should I microwave some tendies and throw myself a great Feast? But there is only one option. There is only ever one option. To Battle! Various cultures have alternatively described the gameplay loop of War Thunder as their vision of Heaven or Hell. It is both.
January 2021
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October 2021

TELL US I LOVE YOU GUYS

twitchquotes: DansGame TELL US DansGame I LOVE YOU GUYS DansGame OR WE WILL SPAM DANSGAME DansGame FOR 10DAYS DansGame NON STOP DansGame Clap
twitch chat
April 2018

John Cena eats Bing Chilling

Zǎoshang hǎo zhōngguΓ³ xiΓ nzΓ i wΗ’ yΗ’u BING CHILLING πŸ₯ΆπŸ¦ wΗ’ hΔ›n xǐhuān BING CHILLING πŸ₯ΆπŸ¦ dΓ nshΓ¬ sΓΉdΓΉ yΗ” jΔ«qΓ­ng 9 bǐ BING CHILLING πŸ₯ΆπŸ¦ sΓΉdΓΉ yΗ” jΔ«qΓ­ng sΓΉdΓΉ yΗ” jΔ«qΓ­ng 9 wΗ’ zuΓ¬ xǐhuān suΗ’yǐ…xiΓ nzΓ i shΓ¬ yΔ«nyuΓ¨ shΓ­jiān zhΗ”nbΓ¨i 1 2 3 liǎng gΓ¨ lǐbΓ i yǐhΓ²u sΓΉdΓΉ yΗ” jΔ«qΓ­ng 9 Γ—3 bΓΉyΓ o wΓ ngjΓ¬ bΓΉyΓ o cu Γ²guΓ² jΓ¬dΓ© qΓΉ diΓ nyǐngyuΓ n kΓ n sΓΉdΓΉ yΗ” jΔ«qΓ­ng 9 yΔ«n wΓ©i fΔ“ichΓ‘ng hǎo diΓ nyǐng dΓ²ngzuΓ² fΔ“ichΓ‘ng hǎo chΓ bΓΉduō yΔ«yΓ ng BING CHILLING πŸ₯ΆπŸ¦zΓ ijiΓ n πŸ₯ΆπŸ¦
November 2021

I'm Tanner Jr. btw!

twitchquotes: Hi kripp, I just turned 5 years old! My dad says I'm pretty good at this game at that I should watch your stream to learn how not to play bad. He says he stole your high school girlfriend and does things to your wife in bed everyday. Oh yeah, I'm Tanner Jr. btw! Nice to meet you!
twitch chat
February 2019
Kripp

Tanner from High School

Approximately 108 billion people have lived on this planet. Who asked?

According to world population studies, approximately 108 billion people have lived on this planet. Assuming that the average lifespan of all these people was 25, there has been around 2.7 trillion years of life, if we multiply this by the number of days in a year (365), there is a total of 985,500,000,000,000 days of life (985.5 trillion days). Not once in any of those days did anybody ask.
November 2021

Who Asked?

Text-to-Speech Playing