[Copypasta] War Thunder is like playing chess

It's not that the game is addicting, it's just that there are no decent alternatives. War Thunder is basically the intellectual version of the FPS games that all the stupid children and mongoloid brains play. Instead of just being based purely on twitch "skills" which require as much intellectual ability as closing popup spam windows, in War Thunder you have to use at least some tactics and strategy. FPS games are like playing Pong on high speed. War Thunder is like playing chess. The art of gaming is simply dead for big brains. 20 years ago there were tons of games that required brainpower because PC gaming back then was by nerds and for nerds, but then the corporate suits took over and were like "broaden the appeal to we can make more sales" so everything got dumbed down to the lowest common denominator. My GF asked me if I was "having fun" playing War Thunder, and I looked at her like she was a fucking retard to even consider that sentence a valid question. I don't have FUN playing War Thunder. This game routinely pisses me off and makes me rage. However, when I stomp the entire enemy team and crush them so utterly I can hear the lamentations of their mothers, I feel satisfaction. I spent weeks grinding for Operation Winter. The vikings had a word for this. They called it Valhalla. Endless war. Endless combat. Knowing only victory and death. Bathing in the blood of your enemies. You get 15 kills and bask in glory and rewards, and think: what should I do now? Should I get in my Honda Fit and tour the local strip mall for my Triumph? Should I microwave some tendies and throw myself a great Feast? But there is only one option. There is only ever one option. To Battle! Various cultures have alternatively described the gameplay loop of War Thunder as their vision of Heaven or Hell. It is both.
January 2021
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twitch chat
March 2015
Forsen

Szechuan sauce at McDonald's

"Hey, do you guys have szechuan sauce?", I ask the low IQ minimum wage slave. "N-no, sir. We just ran out", he muttered. I was overcome with a primal rage. I jump on the counter, screaming "I'm Pickle Rick!”. The 200 IQ crowd chanted in unison, “WUBBALUBBA DUB DUB” whilst beating their chests towards the cowering worker. I put my shirt over my head and let out the purest REEE to show my devotion to Rick. Everyone else REEEs as well. Yes, my brothers, let it all out. The manger comes in and calls the police, he doesn’t understand the mature and intellectual nature of our cries. We Naruto run to the next McDonalds store as we search endlessly for that sauce.
October 2017

Rick and Morty

Reports gather, and now my chat restriction begins

twitchquotes: ʀᴇᴩᴏʀᴛs ɢᴀᴛʜᴇʀ, ᴀɴᴅ ɴᴏᴡ ᴍy ᴄʜᴀᴛ ʀᴇsᴛʀɪᴄᴛɪᴏɴ ʙᴇɢɪɴs. ɪᴛ sʜᴀʟʟ ɴᴏᴛ ᴇɴᴅ ᴜɴᴛɪʟ ᴍy ᴩᴇʀᴍᴀ. ɪ sʜᴀʟʟ ᴡᴀʀᴅ ɴᴏ ʙʀᴜsʜ, ᴡɪɴ ɴᴏ ɢᴀᴍᴇs, ғᴇᴀʀ ɴᴏ ᴛʀɪʙᴜɴᴀʟ. ɪ sʜᴀʟʟ ᴡᴇᴀʀ ɴᴏ ʜᴏɴᴏʀ ʙᴀᴅɢᴇ ᴀɴᴅ ғᴀᴛʜᴇʀ ɴᴏ ᴄʜɪʟᴅʀᴇɴ. ɪ sʜᴀʟʟ ʟɪᴠᴇ ᴀɴᴅ ᴅɪᴇ ᴀᴛ ᴍy ᴩᴏsᴛ. ɪ ᴀᴍ ᴛʜᴇ ʙᴍ ɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡɪɴ ɪ ᴀᴍ ᴛʜᴇ sᴀʟᴛ ɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ ʟᴏss. ɪ ᴀᴍ ᴛʜᴇ ʀᴀɢᴇʀ ᴛʜᴀᴛ sᴩᴀᴍs ᴀʟʟ ᴄʜᴀᴛ, ᴛʜᴇ ғᴇᴇᴅᴇʀ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ғʟᴀᴍᴇs ʜɪs ᴛᴇᴀᴍ, ᴛʜᴇ ɴɪᴅᴀʟᴇᴇ ᴛʜᴀᴛ sᴜᴩᴩᴏʀᴛs, ᴛʜᴇ sʜɪᴇʟᴅ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ɢᴜᴀʀᴅs ᴛʜᴇ ʀᴇᴀʟᴍs ᴏғ ᴍᴇɴ. ɪ ᴩʟᴇᴅɢᴇ ᴍy ᴍᴏᴜsᴇ ᴀɴᴅ ᴋᴇyʙᴏʀᴅ ᴛᴏ ᴡᴏᴏᴅ ʟᴇᴀɢᴜᴇ, ғᴏʀ ᴛʜɪs ɴɪɢʜᴛ ᴀɴᴅ ᴀʟʟ ɴɪɢʜᴛs ᴛᴏ ᴄᴏᴍᴇ
twitch chat
August 2014
imaqtpie

Disney DVD

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⢛⣋⣭⣽⣿⣿⡛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠟⠛⠛⠉⠉⠙⠛⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣙⠻⣿⣿⠏⠅⢀⣤⣬⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠋⠉⠀⣀⣀⣤⣤⣶⣶⣶⣦⣤⣀⠀⠀⠙⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣌⢻⣇⢀⣛⣩⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣩⣤⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠛⡀⠉⢛⡛⠻⣿⣿⡆⢹⡟⢿⠟⠛⠉⣙⣻⡿⢻⣿⠙⣿⣛⠛⠛⢻⡿⣻⡿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣿⣿⠀⣿⣿⣿⣃⣼⣿⡇⢸⡇⢸⣦⢭⡩⣛⢻⠃⣤⠻⡆⣿⠃⣘⣻⣿⠱⠏⢠⡎⢼⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⣟⡀⢿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠋⣠⣾⡇⢸⣧⣛⠂⢈⣰⡀⣿⣧⣀⣏⡀⠛⢛⣷⠀⠐⠋⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⠀⠀⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⣼⣷⣦⣶⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣾⣿⡿⢠⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠀⠀⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⠿⠿⣿⣿⡿⠿⣿⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⠃⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠀⠀⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠈⢻⠀⠀⢹⡟⠀⠀⡆⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠀⠀⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⣰⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⡆⠀⠀⡇⠀⠈⠃⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⣧⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⠀⠀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⢠⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠁⠀⢠⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⡇⠀⠀⠃⠀⢀⣿⣿⣿⡿⠃⠀⠀⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⣀⣀⣀⣴⣿⣿⣇⣀⣀⣸⣿⣇⣀⣀⣀⣴⣿⣿⠿⠋⠀⠀⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠁⠀⠀⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠉⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⢀⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠀⠈⠙⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠟⠛⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⣀⣠⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣤⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣶⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
April 2021

It was dinner time at the Apex GAYmer house

twitchquotes: It was dinner time at the Apex GAYmer house. Moonmoon dishes up a steamy plate of pasta when he realizes he forgot the meat. Lassiz looks up from his plate, the gleam in his eye. "I got the meat right here for you baby" lubing up with marinara sauce Lassiz begins to pound his sausage into moonmoons tight lightly buttered dinner roll. The scream of delight, Lassiz releases his load, calling an end to yet another successful team dinner.
twitch chat
February 2019
MOONMOON

KappaPride

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