Ma'am, you may want to McSit™ down for this. We are deeply McSorry™ to inform you your husband has McPerished™ in the McLine™ of duty. He bravely led a McCharge™ against the Burger Emperor's Army™, and through his McBravery™ we were able to hold the McLine™ long enough for McReinforcements™ to arrive. Your husband is being awarded the Grimace Medal of McHonor™ for his McService™, and for his McBravery™ we will be sending you a complimentary Happy Meal™ as a token of appreciation. His service to the McMarine™ Corps will never be forgotten.
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas
I want to become a hearth
twitchquotes:
I want to become a hearth. I know there’re people out there just like me, but I’m different. On November 14th, I’m moving to Jamestown; home of the hearths. I’ve cut off my arms, and now light myself on fire everywhere I go as training. I'm not be a hearth yet, but if you give me a chance, I will become the greatest hearth.
twitch chat
Kripp
My NAAAME is Gyoubu Masataka ONIWA
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀(\__/)⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀(•ㅅ•)⠀⠀My NAAAAAME is
＿ノ⠀ヽ⠀ノ⠀＼＿⠀⠀Gyoubu Masataka
/⠀️⠀Y⠀⌒Ｙ⌒⠀Ｙ⠀️⠀️ヽ⠀⠀ONIWA!
(⠀️⠀️⠀️(三ヽ人⠀⠀/⠀⠀⠀|
|⠀️⠀️⠀️ﾉ⠀¯¯\⠀￣￣ヽノAs I breathe,
ヽ＿＿＿⠀⠀＞､＿_／ you will NOT pass
⠀⠀⠀｜⠀(⠀王⠀)〈 the castle gate
⠀⠀⠀/⠀⠀ﾐ`——彡⠀\
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀🐎
A few feet offscreen, Dex sits in a cage
twitchquotes:
A few feet offscreen, Dex sits in a cage far too small for himself. Malnourished because of his "vegan" diet, his ribs are clearly visible through his coat. He barely has the energy to move, let alone enjoy life. Yet, he knows there's hope. He knows he could draw attention to himself, as he hears Kripp constantly talking to someone. In a single act of defiance, Dex barks to draw attention to his dire situation. "Quiet, Dex" is his only reply as Kripp ignores his pleas yet again.
twitch chat
Kripp
UwU sentence deterioration
twitchquotes:
Imagine reading a post, but over the course of it the quality seems to deteriorate and it gets wose an wose, where the swenetence stwucture and gwammer rewerts to a pwoint of uttew non swence, an u jus dont wanna wead it anymwore (o´ω｀o) awd twa wol owdewl iws jus awfwul (´･ω･`)
twitch chat
Weebs
Classic
My BODY is machine that turns diary products into spicy liquid diarrhea
My 🤸♂️BODY🏋️♀️ is a 🚂𝐌𝐀𝐂𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐄🚂 that turns 🐄𝒹𝒶𝒾𝓇𝓎 𝓅𝓇𝑜𝒹𝓊𝒸𝓉𝓈🥛 into ➡ 🔥ⓈⓅⒾⒸⓎ🔥 🐳𝓁𝒾𝓆𝓊𝒾𝒹💦 💩💩𝔻𝕀𝔸ℝℝℍ𝔼𝔸💪💪