[Copypasta] F to pay McRespects

Ma'am, you may want to McSit™ down for this. We are deeply McSorry™ to inform you your husband has McPerished™ in the McLine™ of duty. He bravely led a McCharge™ against the Burger Emperor's Army™, and through his McBravery™ we were able to hold the McLine™ long enough for McReinforcements™ to arrive. Your husband is being awarded the Grimace Medal of McHonor™ for his McService™, and for his McBravery™ we will be sending you a complimentary Happy Meal™ as a token of appreciation. His service to the McMarine™ Corps will never be forgotten.
January 2021
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

WTF IS MEGALUL?

twitchquotes: We have the perfect three letter emote for a british man laughing at your inferior memes. However, we had to take it one step further with this perverted version of the LUL emote and now my chat experience has been completed destroyed. All I wanted was a chat where I could LUL at the 4Head fags but now MEGALUL has destroyed the balance of emotes and chat will never be great again.
twitch chat
August 2016
Forsen

I am a degree 6 zoosexual

twitchquotes: I am a degree 6 Zoosexual, sexually and emotionally attracted to Tyrannosaurs and nothing else. Women don't even do it for me. I am cursed to live my life in the misery that my most powerful emotional fantasies will never be even close to coming true. Life is like hell to me. I will never know true love.
twitch chat
January 2015

I sexually Identify as

I accidentally ran over my wife’s pet rabbit with my car

So my wife works from home and she is a graphic designer. She is working from home because the rabbit is very needy and cannot be apart from her without screaming it’s head off. She barely leaves the house due to this and it is difficult because I have to do everything for her and them that requires leaving the house. Whenever we go anywhere together the rabbit has to go with her. However since that post was posted I had developed a plan with the help from some dms and comments I had been acting sick all night and all morning and convinced my wife to go to the market for me to get me medicine. Some Tylenol and cough syrup. She was worried about the rabbit and suggested taking it with her but I somehow convinced her to go without it. We live in a rural area and the closest store is about 20 minutes away. So I hatched my plan as soon as she left. I grabbed that little shit by the neck and while it kicked and screamed I put it into an Amazon box and rushed to the car with it. Initially the plan was to release him into the wild so I drove to the closest wild spot which happens to be a campsite and let the little parasite out. He is partially blind so he just sat there for a bit and I pushed it closer to the grass off the gravel parking lot and it started sniffing around and shit. At this point I thought I was home free and I got into the car to leave but the little shit noticed me getting in and ran towards the car when I started it and moved the car over a bump and I heard a scream. I didn’t know what to do do I started driving and stopped the car a little further away and it was lying there on the gravel parking lot as I started to panic. I didn’t want to kill it I just wanted it gone. Instead I drove over it like a speed bump. I put him back into the box and Drove to the vet. My wife is calling my phone I don’t know what to do, I’m writing this in the waiting room of the vet. I fucked up. The whole thing is a blur. Edit: rabbit is alive, driving home, will update
May 2022

UPLOADING VIRUS EXE

twitchquotes: UPLOADING VIRUS EXE ████████████████] 98%
twitch chat
November 2014
Reynad

imagine how much weed Aang could smoke at once

Bro imagine how much weed Aang could smoke at once, like, he probably wouldn't even need a pipe to smoke a while oz of it he could just burn it with his firebending and use his airbending to bend the smoke into his lungs, which could hold a lot because he's an air bender, just imagine how much he could smoke, you pass him a full bowl and he just dumps it out into his hands and take the whole thing in one hit and asks for another, imagine how much weed he could go through in a single session since he's the Avatar and and could do as much as he wants since he won't green out he would just go into the Avatar state
January 2021
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