[Copypasta] F to pay McRespects

Ma'am, you may want to McSit™ down for this. We are deeply McSorry™ to inform you your husband has McPerished™ in the McLine™ of duty. He bravely led a McCharge™ against the Burger Emperor's Army™, and through his McBravery™ we were able to hold the McLine™ long enough for McReinforcements™ to arrive. Your husband is being awarded the Grimace Medal of McHonor™ for his McService™, and for his McBravery™ we will be sending you a complimentary Happy Meal™ as a token of appreciation. His service to the McMarine™ Corps will never be forgotten.
January 2021
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Happy poop

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⣵⣶⣬⣉⡻⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠛⣃⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢡⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣭⣙⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠋⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⡟⠁⠄⠙⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠄⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣈⠛⢿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣇⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣤⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡄⢿⣿ ⣿⠟⣋⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿ ⢁⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⣹⣿⣿⣿⣦⠙ ⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣄⣤⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣄⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧ ⠘⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏ ⣷⣦⣙⠛⠿⢿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⠟⢛⣛⣛⡛⠻⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠟⢛⣡⣾
April 2021

Goomba

░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░░░░░░░▄▄▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▄▄░░░░░░░░░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░░▄██▄▀░░░░░░░░░░░░▀▄██▄░░░░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░░░░███░░░░░░░░░░░░███░░░░░░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░░░█░▀██░░░░░░░░░░██▀░█░░░░░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░░█░░░▄██▄░░░░░░▄██▄░░░█░░░░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░▄▀░▄▀──▀█▄░░░░▄█▀──▀▄░▀▄░░░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░▄▀░▄▀───▄─██░░██─▄───▀▄░▀▄░░░░░░░ ░░░░░▄▀░░░█───███─█░░█─███───█░░░▀▄░░░░░ ░░░▄▀░░░░░█────▀──█░░█──▀────█░░░░░▀▄░░░ ░▄▀░░░░░░░█──────█░░░░█──────█░░░░░░░▀▄░ █░░░░░▄░░░░▀▄▄▄▄▀░░░░░░▀▄▄▄▄▀░░░░▄░░░░░█ █░░░░░▌▀▄░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░▄▀▐░░░░░█ █░░░░▐▄▄▄█▄▄▄▄▄▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▄▄▄▄▄█▄▄▄▌░░░░█ █░░░░▀░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░▀░░░░█ ░▀▄░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░▄▀░ ░░░▀▀▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▀▀░░░ ░░░░░░░░░░░█░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░█░░░░░░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░░░░█░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░█░░░░░░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░░░░█░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░█░░░░░░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░░░░█░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░█░░░░░░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░░░░█░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░█░░░░░░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░▄▄▀▀▀▀▄░░░░░░░░░░░░▄▀▀▀▀▄▄░░░░░░░ ░░░░░▄▀░░░░░░░▀▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▀░░░░░░░▀▄░░░░░ ░░░░░█░░░░░░░░░░░▄▀░░▀▄░░░░░░░░░░░█░░░░░ ░░░░░░▀▄░░░░░░░▄▀░░░░░░▀▄░░░░░░░▄▀░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░▀▀▀▀▀▀▀░░░░░░░░░░▀▀▀▀▀▀▀░░░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░
September 2021

Today I attempted to insert a whole cantaloupe melon

twitchquotes: Today I attempted to insert a whole cantaloupe melon into my anus because the local shops had run out of apricots (I buy a lot). Using about a gallon of butter, breathing techniques and a few hours I managed to finally get it inside. However it was too uncomfortable so I tried to shit it back out.This is where things got confusing because rather than a melon sliding out half a dozen apricots did. Now there is a chance that I just blacked out upon excreting the cantaloupe and it rolled away somewhere and that I happened to have a dozen or so left over apricots lying around my rectum from earlier but I cannot for the life of me find the melon anywhere.I think I may have the power to anally turn melons into apricots. Further experimentation will be required of course (once my rectum has recovered) but if this turns out to be true then I may be able to solve world hunger.
twitch chat
April 2019

why would you NOT immediately tell everyone who killed you?

twitchquotes: So uh. If you're playing Among Us. On a voice call. And you're killed... why would you NOT immediately tell everyone who killed you? Isn't the goal to win if you're crew? Like if you're not gonna tell people on the voice call, why keep doing tasks? What's the point of using the voice comms at all? You're still in it when "dead". To me if a fucking person doesn't use it when they're dead they're throwing. I'd 100% tell my team who killed me if I was killed. The point is for the crew to find out who the impostor is. If you're part of the crew, you should be telling them if you know. If you're not going to do that, you're literally int'ing and throwing. So then why bother doing tasks if you don't want to win? End discussion.
twitch chat
September 2020

Among Us / Amogus

Nyan Cat

________▄▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▄______ _______█░░▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒░░░█_____ _______█░▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▄▀▀▄▒▒▒░░█▄▀▀▄_ __▄▄___█░▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒█▓▓▓▀▄▄▄▄▀▓▓▓█_ █▓▓█▄▄█░▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▄▀▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▀▄_ _▀▄▄▓▓█░▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒█▓▓▓▄█▓▓▓▄▓▄█▓▓█_ _____▀▀█░▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒█▓▒▒▓▄▓▓▄▓▓▄▓▒▒█ ______▄█░░▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▀▄▓▓▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▓▄▀_ ____▄▀▓▀█▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄██████▀█▀▀___ ____█▄▄▀_█▄▄▀_______█▄▄▀_▀▄▄█_____
November 2014
Text-to-Speech Playing