[Copypasta] F to pay McRespects

Ma'am, you may want to McSit™ down for this. We are deeply McSorry™ to inform you your husband has McPerished™ in the McLine™ of duty. He bravely led a McCharge™ against the Burger Emperor's Army™, and through his McBravery™ we were able to hold the McLine™ long enough for McReinforcements™ to arrive. Your husband is being awarded the Grimace Medal of McHonor™ for his McService™, and for his McBravery™ we will be sending you a complimentary Happy Meal™ as a token of appreciation. His service to the McMarine™ Corps will never be forgotten.
January 2021
What happened to this ad? :(
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Try being nicer when you say that Calvin

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This is Trump News reporting

twitchquotes: This is Trump News reporting. A new craze is sweeping Greece where submissives, known as 'Subs' are being brutally brofisted for only 5 dollars! The man responsible for this is currently in hiding under a pile of pizza boxes.
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Stimulus hopes in the year is 2025

The year is 2025. House speaker Nancy pelosi's brain jar has agreed with Mitch McConnell's new human skinbody to vote on the $12 covid stimulus package. This is the 37th revision to the package initially introduced in late 2020. One dollar will be split between all americans, two between all illegal immigrants, and the rest to Jeff bezos. Due to stimulus hopes, SPY has rallied to 600.
December 2020

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I thought my parents were rap battling

Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck mann fick fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck My parents were fighting and I thought they were rap battling so I came in and started beatboxing. Fuck fuck fuck why am I such an idiot fuck fuck fuck
February 2021

WideHard

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣤⣤⣤⣤⣄⣀⡀⠀⣤⣶⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣄⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣦⣤⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣀⡀⠀⠀ ⠒⠒⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡦⠀ ⠀⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⣭⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠛⠛⠛⠛⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆ ⠀⠉⠉⠉⠉⠛⠛⠛⠿⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠯⠤⠀⠀⠀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠛⠛⠋⠉ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⣿⣿⣿⡿⠁⠀⠀⠒⠂⠐⠶⠖⠐⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⡀⠀⣴⣶⡶⣿⣿⣿⠟⠛⠿⢿⣿⡷⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⣿⣿⣿⣧⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢷⣶⠀⠈⠉⠉⠉⢿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡖⠓⠀⠒⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠶⠶⢶⠾⣶⣶⠶⠖⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠻⢿⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣾⣿⠖⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠛⠦⢤⣄⣀⣀⣀⣈⣀⠸⠿⠛⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
June 2021
Text-to-Speech Playing