Ma'am, you may want to McSit™ down for this. We are deeply McSorry™ to inform you your husband has McPerished™ in the McLine™ of duty. He bravely led a McCharge™ against the Burger Emperor's Army™, and through his McBravery™ we were able to hold the McLine™ long enough for McReinforcements™ to arrive. Your husband is being awarded the Grimace Medal of McHonor™ for his McService™, and for his McBravery™ we will be sending you a complimentary Happy Meal™ as a token of appreciation. His service to the McMarine™ Corps will never be forgotten.
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
Ben Shapiro asks his mom for Robux
Now, let’s say 🗣 hypothetically, you 👆, my mother 👪. Were to give 🎁 me, your 
son 🙎♂️, your credit 💸 card 💳 information 👌🏼. So I 👥 could make 🛠 a purchase 💲 of 500 💯 robux 👏 on the Roblox.com/store. Contrary to what my sister 👱♀️ will have you 👆 believe 🙅🏻, I 👥 have done ✅ a very ‼ good 👌 job 🙆♂️🤵 of doing my chores 🧼, including 📲, but 🍑 not limited 🔒 to; The dishes 😳🍽👈🏼, the laundry and the taking 👊 out the trash ⛹️♀️👶🗑.
son 🙎♂️, your credit 💸 card 💳 information 👌🏼. So I 👥 could make 🛠 a purchase 💲 of 500 💯 robux 👏 on the Roblox.com/store. Contrary to what my sister 👱♀️ will have you 👆 believe 🙅🏻, I 👥 have done ✅ a very ‼ good 👌 job 🙆♂️🤵 of doing my chores 🧼, including 📲, but 🍑 not limited 🔒 to; The dishes 😳🍽👈🏼, the laundry and the taking 👊 out the trash ⛹️♀️👶🗑.
Ben Shapiro
How to kill a geologist
Disclaimer: my hatred of geologists is purely theatrical, but if I did have to kill one for some reason, it would be very easy.
I’d brandish my obsidian knife at them and they’d be compelled to approach. “That’s very cool,” they’d say, confident in their superior strength and endurance from all the rocks they carry around at all times. They’d shower me with very interesting facts about obsidian and hover just out of range of the cutting edge, waiting for me to exhaust myself. “But as it is volcanic glass, it’s very fragile, you see, and isn’t well-suited for use as a weap—” and then I’d hit them with the wooden baseball bat in my other hand, which they would not have noticed because geologists can only see rocks and minerals.
Streamers should eat before they start streaming
twitchquotes:
Streamers should eat before they start streaming. Eating while streaming, unless you put other content on and take the camera off you, is extremely bad manners and disgusting. "Streaming is a real job!" It is. But most streamers dont treat it like a real job. Between failing to make schedules, acting in a way that would be considered unprofessional, constantly calling off, etc etc. Content creation can be a real job. But most dont treat it as one.
twitch chat
Both dudes
twitchquotes:
(‿ˠ‿) _(‿ˠ‿) only the chosen one can fist both dudes . ⎝ 
⎠
⎠
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KappaPride
Every 60 seconds, a minute passes in Africa
twitchquotes:
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Every 60 seconds in Africa, a minute passes. Together we can stop this. Please spread the word ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
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