Ma'am, you may want to McSit™ down for this. We are deeply McSorry™ to inform you your husband has McPerished™ in the McLine™ of duty. He bravely led a McCharge™ against the Burger Emperor's Army™, and through his McBravery™ we were able to hold the McLine™ long enough for McReinforcements™ to arrive. Your husband is being awarded the Grimace Medal of McHonor™ for his McService™, and for his McBravery™ we will be sending you a complimentary Happy Meal™ as a token of appreciation. His service to the McMarine™ Corps will never be forgotten.
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas
How do you think we will conquer Ukraine
Christian Father is concerned with Fortnite
twitchquotes:
Hello everyone, concerned Christian father here. Recently, my 11 year old son downloaded the video game "Fortnite" after playing it at a friend's house. While I didn't mind at first, it soon began to affect his character. Within a week, he had taken up hard drugs and smoking. When asked to do his homework, he called me a "default" and did a strange dance. His grades have been dropping heavily ever since that day and now he's threatening me with violence. Yesterday I entered his room to see him smoking a cigar and playing extremely loud rave (sinner) music, he has dyed his hair blue and neow refuses to go to Bible Study unless we "take the battle bus". I don't know what that is but he refuses to take any form of transport except that. Please I am so concerned, what do I do?
twitch chat
Fortnite
Please abide by the Reddit amendments
Sir, please abide by the Reddit amendments:
• Big Chungus is funny
• Keanu Reeves is the second coming of christ
• Elon Musk is the third coming of Christ (as well as wholesome 100, he knows Reddit memes)
• Fortnite is gay (gay = bad)
• Females are dumb while men are cool
• Nestle is the worst company ever (as well as the only bad company)
• Minecraft is the best game ever made
• No emojis allowed (except for 🗿 (yo angelo (it's funny because it's a Jojo reference (if you see someone commit a Jojo reference, you are legally forced to continue the reference chain, if you do not, you will be downvoted)))
• Being downvoted means you're wrong, if you think you're being wrongfully downvoted, rethink your comment, and if you still think you were wrongfully downvoted, rethink your comment until you understand what you did wrong
• Reddit is the best social media
Until I have seen major improvements in your behavior, your post will be awarded one downvote (aka Australia upvote, it's funny because Australia is on the opposite side of the globe compared to Europe and America, lol). This is your first and final warning, if you do not abide by these amendments in the future, everyone will dislike that.
WTF IS GIGALUL?
twitchquotes:
We have the perfect seven letter emote for a mega-sized british man laughing at your inferior memes. However, we had to take it one step further with this perverted version of the 
emote and now my chat experience has been completed destroyed. All I wanted was a chat where I could at the 
fags but now 
has destroyed the balance of emotes and chat will never be great again.
emote and now my chat experience has been completed destroyed. All I wanted was a chat where I could at the fags but now has destroyed the balance of emotes and chat will never be great again.
twitch chat
Forsen
Dear Kripp, I own the apple orchard outside Toronto
twitchquotes:
Dear Kripp, I own the apple orchard outside Toronto and I am begging you to stop drinking so much OJ. Since you became popular on the Twitch our sales have decreased by over 69% because Canadians want to be like you. For *** sake please drink some apple juice! If you continue drinking OJ, I wont be able to feed my family anymore
twitch chat
Kripp