Ma'am, you may want to McSit™ down for this. We are deeply McSorry™ to inform you your husband has McPerished™ in the McLine™ of duty. He bravely led a McCharge™ against the Burger Emperor's Army™, and through his McBravery™ we were able to hold the McLine™ long enough for McReinforcements™ to arrive. Your husband is being awarded the Grimace Medal of McHonor™ for his McService™, and for his McBravery™ we will be sending you a complimentary Happy Meal™ as a token of appreciation. His service to the McMarine™ Corps will never be forgotten.
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas
Reynad wakes up after the final night of Blizzcon
twitchquotes:
Reynad wakes up after the final night of Blizzcon. "Never lucky", he says. "I wouldn't say that", says a voice to his side. Reynad rolls over and to his surprise, it's a hot grill. "Wow! How did I manage this?", he asks. "You are very persuasive", purrs the grill. "What's your name?" Reynad asks. "Chat calls me Scamaz", Scamaz laughs as he pulls off his wig.
twitch chat
Reynad
Chemical Vegan
Spice! 
And everything nice! 
These were the ingredients chosen to create the perfect streamer. But Professor Reynad accidentally added an extra ingredient to the concoction - Chemical Vegan! Thus, the Kripp was born! 
Every 60 seconds in Murica, 60000 burgers are digested
twitchquotes:
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Eᴠᴇʀʏ 60 sᴇᴄᴏɴᴅs ɪɴ Mᴜʀɪᴄᴀ, 60,000 ʙᴜʀɢᴇʀs ᴀʀᴇ ᴅɪɢᴇsᴛᴇᴅ. Tᴏɢᴇᴛʜᴇʀ ᴡᴇ ᴄᴀɴ sᴛᴏᴘ ᴛʜɪs. Pʟᴇᴀsᴇ sᴘʀᴇᴀᴅ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡᴏʀᴅ. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
twitch chat
Kripp
Old WeirdChamp
⡈⠉⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣛⣛⣛⣛⣩⣭⣭⣭⣭⣭⣭⣭⣭⣭⣵⢸⣿⣿⣿⡆⡀
⠄⢀⣤⠛⢛⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣭⣭⣥⣾⣯⣭⣭⣽⣇⢻⣿⢻⣿⡇
⠄⠈⠁⡐⡄⠋⠉⣀⣀⣀⡈⠉⠻⢿⣿⣿⠿⠛⣻⡛⠫⠿⠿⠿⠿⠸⢋⣿⢟⡇
⠄⠠⡆⡇⠈⢠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡂⠄⠛⠃⠄⣐⡟⠓⠄⠄⣀⣀⣠⣤⣀⠉⣼⡇
⠆⠄⣭⠁⠱⢝⡋⠠⠄⠄⢴⣒⣉⣀⡀⣓⣶⣶⠆⠄⠘⠋⠉⠛⠻⢿⣿⠄⣿⡇
⡔⠄⣿⣿⡇⢙⣛⣒⠒⢒⣊⣩⣩⣿⡇⢸⣿⣿⢸⡷⣲⣾⣅⠒⢁⣠⣍⣤⠿⠇
⠄⢀⠟⢻⣿⣵⣦⣤⣬⣤⣤⣴⣿⠋⠄⣼⣿⣿⠈⢰⣄⠚⠒⠤⠤⢔⣻⣿⡒⠄
⠄⠈⠄⣾⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⣛⣀⠄⣾⣿⣿⡇⠸⢿⣿⣶⣶⣮⣍⣁⠄⡆⠄
⠄⠄⣦⢛⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⣁⠚⠿⣿⢠⠿⣿⣿⡇⢸⡆⠙⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣴⡷⠄
⡆⠄⠄⠰⡫⠏⠷⠋⢀⣾⢿⡳⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣸⣦⡙⠟⣿⣟⣿⡏⢃⣰
⡇⠄⠄⠄⠈⢁⠄⡶⠊⣇⡈⣥⣭⣽⡆⠄⠄⠲⣤⣈⢋⡿⣷⠄⢱⠖⠛⢱⣼⣿
⣧⠄⠄⠄⢠⣿⡀⠄⠄⠄⠚⠉⠭⠭⠍⠻⠯⡭⠭⣟⡳⠆⣿⡇⣼⠺⠱⠈⣿⣿
⣿⠄⠄⣵⡈⣹⡷⣶⣶⣶⣶⣤⣀⣒⣖⣒⡒⠒⣒⢠⣶⣦⡉⣶⡗⢱⠇⣼⣿⣿
⡿⢠⠄⠘⢣⠈⠄⢻⣬⡘⠋⠉⠄⠄⠄⠉⠉⠊⠄⠚⠏⣐⣵⠛⠁⢊⣤⣿⣿⣿
⣷⢹⣧⠄⠈⢃⠄⠄⠘⢛⣷⣤⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣤⣬⢹⠟⢿⠄⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿
This is Catarrian's mother
twitchquotes:
Hello Octavian, this is the Catarrian's mother. I am writing to in human words because the Catarrian feels he has been mistreated. He tells me "meow" which means that he feels you are not giving him enough stream time. And he also said "Nyaa," which means you better pet the Catarrian
twitch chat
Kripp