[Copypasta] Sneed's Feed & Seed

The joke is that the place is called "Sneed's Feed & Seed" which is clever in itself and quite funny to those with a mature sense of humour but what's really just hilarious about it is that if you look closely at the front of this store, Sneed's Feed & Seed, you can see a line that reads "Formerly Chuck's". Now, this might go over the average viewer's head as this, THIS, is peak comedy. I doubt anything will ever be as funny as the joke about Sneed's Feed & Seed. Are you ready for this one? So, like I said, the place is called "Sneed's Feed & Seed" and this sign says "Formerly Chuck's", which means that when Chuck owned the place, well, I don't have to tell you...
January 2021
I used to be a real ad
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September 2021

Megaman's head

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November 2014

Oops I dropped my CONGA LINE

twitchquotes: Oops I dropped my CONGA LINE ๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿšถ ๐Ÿ’ƒ๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿšถ๐Ÿ’ƒ๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿšถ CONGA LINE ๐Ÿ’ƒ๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿšถ๐Ÿ’ƒ๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿšถ๐Ÿ’ƒ๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿšถ๐Ÿ’ƒ๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿšถ ๐Ÿ’ƒ๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿšถ๐Ÿ’ƒ๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿšถ CONGA LINE ๐Ÿ’ƒ๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿšถ๐Ÿ’ƒ๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿšถ๐Ÿ’ƒ๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿšถ๐Ÿ’ƒ๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿšถ ๐Ÿ’ƒ๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿšถ๐Ÿ’ƒ๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿšถ CONGA LINE ๐Ÿ’ƒ๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿšถ๐Ÿ’ƒ๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿšถ๐Ÿ’ƒ๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿšถ๐Ÿ’ƒ๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿšถ ๐Ÿ’ƒ๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿšถ๐Ÿ’ƒ๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿšถ CONGA LINE ๐Ÿ’ƒ๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿšถ๐Ÿ’ƒ๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿšถ๐Ÿ’ƒ๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿšถ
twitch chat
October 2015

Classic

Marketing Director for Doritos messages Kripp

twitchquotes: สœแด‡สŸสŸแด แด‹ส€ษชแด˜แด˜แด€ส€ษชษดแด, ษช แด€แด แดแด€ส€แด‹แด‡แด›ษชษดษข แด…ษชส€แด‡แด„แด›แดส€ า“แดส€ แด…แดส€ษชแด›แดs, แด„สœแดœแด„แด‹ แดส€แดกแด‡สŸสŸ แด˜สส€ษชษดแด, แด€แด‹แด€ แด„.แด. แด˜สส€ษชษดแด. sษชษดแด„แด‡ สแดแดœ แด€ส€แด‡ ษดแดแดก แด„แด€sแดœแด€สŸ sแด‡สŸสŸแดแดœแด› แดกแด‡ แดกแดแดœสŸแด… สŸษชแด‹แด‡ แด›แด sแด˜แดษดsแดส€ สแดแดœ! แด€สŸสŸ สแดแดœ สœแด€แด แด‡ แด›แด แด…แด ษชs แดแด€แด‹แด‡ แด„แดแดแดแด‡ส€แด„ษชแด€สŸ แดกสœแด‡ส€แด‡ แด€ส€แด›แดsษชs แดกแดแดœสŸแด… แด‡แด€แด› า“ส€ษชแด›แด แด€ษดแด… สแดแดœ sแด€ส ษดแด า“ส€ษชแด›แดส€ษชษดแด แด€ษดแด… แด‡แด€แด› แด…แดส€ษชแด›แด.
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

Oh my gourd, I am financially ruined (agricultural futures)

I have lost everything, and I'm not sure how to continue. This summer I invested $17,500 (six months salary and my entire life savings) into ornamental gourd futures, hoping to capitalize on this lucrative emerging industry. After watching a video about Vincent Kosuga and his monopoly on onions, I decided I'd try to do something similar with another vegetable. I did some research and found out many agricultural forecasters expected this year's gourd yield would be far smaller than the past, due to deteriorating soil conditions in central Mexico and a warmer-than-average spring. At first, demand soared around Halloween and prices skyrocketed, but the gourd bubble burst on November 12th. Unfortunately, the coronavirus caused a massive drop-off in demand due to fewer families decorating their tables for thanksgiving, and prices plummeted. I had invested early enough that I thought I would still be fine, but then on the morning of December 2nd, a new email in my inbox caused my stomach to turn into a pretzel. The massive gourd shipment from Argentina, scheduled for early March, had arrived. I was planning on selling off my futures right before this, in February, but this ruined everything. To top it off, the gourds in this shipment were absolutely gargantuan, some topping 4 pounds each, causing the price-per-pound to drop like an anchor into the range of 6 cents per pound. I am ruined.
January 2021

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