[Copypasta] Sneed's Feed & Seed

The joke is that the place is called "Sneed's Feed & Seed" which is clever in itself and quite funny to those with a mature sense of humour but what's really just hilarious about it is that if you look closely at the front of this store, Sneed's Feed & Seed, you can see a line that reads "Formerly Chuck's". Now, this might go over the average viewer's head as this, THIS, is peak comedy. I doubt anything will ever be as funny as the joke about Sneed's Feed & Seed. Are you ready for this one? So, like I said, the place is called "Sneed's Feed & Seed" and this sign says "Formerly Chuck's", which means that when Chuck owned the place, well, I don't have to tell you...
January 2021
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Inappropriate humor

twitchquotes: All of this “dick humor” is highly Inappropriate, my dick is 2.462 feet long and still growing, all of you twitch “charters” can’t even compensate the size
twitch chat
April 2019

Hello chat I am famous fascist leader, Adolf Hilterino

twitchquotes: ʜᴇʟʟᴏ ᴄʜᴀᴛ ɪ ᴀᴍ ғᴀᴍᴏᴜs ғᴀsᴄɪsᴛ ʟᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ, ᴀᴅᴏʟғ ʜɪᴛʟᴇʀɪɴᴏ. ᴡᴇ ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅ ʟɪᴋᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴀɴᴅ ɴᴀᴢɪ ᴍᴏᴅs ᴛᴏ ᴘᴀʀᴛɪᴄɪᴘᴀᴛᴇ ɪɴ ᴏᴜʀ ɴᴇᴡ ᴘʀᴏᴘᴀɢᴀɴᴅᴀ ғɪʟᴍ "sɪᴇɢ ʜᴇɪʟ ʟɪғᴇsᴛʏʟᴇ" ʏᴏᴜ ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅ ʀᴀɪsᴇ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴅᴏɴɢᴇʀs ᴀɴᴅ ɴᴀᴢɪ ᴍᴏᴅs sᴀʏ ɴᴏ ᴘᴀsᴛᴇʀɪɴᴏ ᴀɴᴅ ʙᴀɴʜᴀᴍᴍᴇʀ.
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

Response to "go fuck yourself"

What if I'm already fucking myself? Behind this simple insult hides a universal paradox that may put your sexuality in question. Let's do a simple thought experiment: imagine us two standing in front of each other. I, of course, am wearing a pair of jeans, that are covering my genitals and my butt. You then command me to "go fuck myself". I may be fucking myself already. I may as well not be fucking myself already. Until my dick and its position relative to my ass is observed, it is simultaneously in my ass, but also outside of it - thus, it stays in superposition. The moment you lay eyes on my penis, both states collide with each other and become either one. You may have already guessed what the problem here is. As soon as a single photon reflected by my dick enters either one of your eyes, you become gay. The only way to avoid this is to not observe my penis. But if you don't look at it, then you will never know if your insult had any effect, thus rendering it meaningless. Since you have already made the insult, you are now, too, in superposition - you're either wrong, or gay. It's unfortunate, really - you dug a hole for yourself without even knowing it. All you can do now is accept it, and learn from your mistakes.
April 2020

Classic

Kapp

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣢⣐⣤⣤⣀⣀⠀⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡿⣿⣿⣿⠿⣿⣯⣿⣼⡍⢂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣯⣭⣬⣽⣼⣿⣾⣿⣣⣾⣾⣶⣾⣦⣄⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣯⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⡟⠛⠋⠉⠀⠀⠉⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡟⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⢿⣿⣷ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⢀⣀⣀⣈⣿⡿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣷⠀⠀⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠛⢿⣟⠋⠉⠀⠀⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠋⠉⠋⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⡀⠀⠀⣠⣤⣄⣀⣀⣾⡇⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⢻⣿⣿⣿⡆⠙⠿⣿⡇⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣈⣹⣿⣿⡿⠀⢠⣿⠃⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣉⣙⡉⠁⢠⣶⣿⠇⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠹⠯⡶⢀⣿⡿⠃⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣼⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠑⠶⢶⣶⣶⣶⣶⡾⠟⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
September 2020

This is exactly why I LOVE Twitch chat

twitchquotes: This is exactly why I LOVE Twitch chat. This chat is pure, adulterated, 100% intelligence. Everybody has a single unique, new thought, all spouting the latest meme after meme, that are really good. THIS is why I'm turning off the professional gameplay and will just watch the chat. And I swear to god, if any of you don't copy and paste this, I'm deleting my account forever.
twitch chat
December 2016
Text-to-Speech Playing