[Copypasta] Send nudes but fancy

Pardon me Madam, but I was curious as to what you look like under those tasteful fabrics you are wearing. Perhaps you would do me the honor of removing them and photographing your perfect skin so I can gaze upon your beauty?
January 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Nani the fuck did you just fucking iimasu about watashi

Nani the fuck did you just fucking iimasu about watashi, you chiisai bitch desuka? Watashi’ll have anata know that watashi graduated top of my class in Nihongo 3, and watashi’ve been involved in iroirona Nihongo tutoring sessions, and watashi have over sanbyaku perfect test scores. Watashi am trained in kanji, and watashi is the top letter writer in all of southern California. Anata are nothing to watashi but just another weaboo. Watashi will korosu anata the fuck out with vocabulary the likes of which has never been mimasu’d before on this continent, mark watashino fucking words. Anata thinks anata can get away with hanashimasing that kuso to watashi over the intaaneto? Omou again, fucker. As we hanashimasu, watashi am contacting watashino secret netto of otakus across the USA, and anatano IP is being traced right now so you better junbishimasu for the ame, ujimushi. The ame that korosu’s the pathetic chiisai thing anata calls anatano life. You’re fucking shinimashita’d, akachan.
June 2021

Weebs

My son won't stop using "TwitchSpeak?

My son (14) watches a lot of video game streamers on Twitch.tv. I personally don't find them entertaining but I can understand why some people (like my son) do. Over the past month he's starting using terms like "pog", "jabaited", and "Kappa" which I guess are terms that are used in the scope of Twitch. I don't have an issue with my son using these terms but it's gotten to the point where every sentence is Twitchspeak. We were having dinner and my daughter (age 12) was talking about how she got accepted for a summer program with the local animal shelter, and my son said "Pog you, easy clap". I told him that it was getting out of hand and that he would have to communicate normally to his parents and family. To that he said "Weird champ, feels weird man, normies omega LOL." Until he learns to communicate like a normal human being I've blacklisted Twitch from the internet for the time being. He's hysterical now but I told him that I would unblacklist it if he stopped using twitchspeak, but he's refusing to stop so for now it's banned. AITA?
May 2019

Classic

Am I The Asshole?

VEGAN MAN

twitchquotes: VEGAN MAN 🌊 😍 Take me by the hand ✋ lead me to the spam that you understand 🙌 🌊 VEGAN MAN 🌊 😍 The voyage 🚲 to the top of the 🌎deck is a real trip 👌 🌊 VEGAN MAN 🌊 😍 The crust of a Romanian man 👳 fueled by the banned 👍 Soaking up the 💦 salt in the spam 💯
twitch chat
September 2016
Kripp

Emoji Pasta

PepegaPhone

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢴⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⣤⣄⡀⢠⣤⣄⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⢿⣿⣟⣉⣠⣤⣤⣤⣉⡻⢿⣇⣠⣤⣤⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⢋⣁⣄⡈⠻⣿⢃⣴⠷⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⡴⠶⢾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⣩⣭⣭⣄⡀⠛⢡⣾⡏⠉⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⡏⠄⠄⠢⠘⣿⣿⣿⠘⣿⣿⡿⠁⠙⣿⡄⢸⣿⡇⢰⡷⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣼⣧⠄⠄⠄⢰⣿⣿⠋⣷⢸⣿⠇⢰⠆⣿⡇⠈⢿⡿⠆⠄⣠⡄ ⠄⠄⣀⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣆⠄⠄⣾⣿⣿⣇⢿⡌⠻⣤⣤⠶⠟⣁⠐⡖⠒⠂⢉⣩⣀ ⠄⣼⣿⣿⡿⠛⣥⣤⣤⡄⠄⠘⠋⠛⠿⡌⠛⠳⠶⠆⣠⣴⣿⣷⡘⢋⣽⣿⡿⠟ ⣼⣿⣿⣿⡇⢸⣇⡈⠟⢠⣄⣰⢏⡠⠄⠰⢶⣶⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⣟⣡⠴⠄ ⢿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠈⣿⣷⠄⢸⣿⣿⣯⣠⠞⣠⣈⠻⠿⠿⢿⣛⣉⠤⠶⠛⣫⡀⠄⠄ ⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠙⢿⡄⣸⣿⣿⣿⣷⣾⠟⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠨⣻⡄⣀⣴⠏⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⡖⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⣠⣾⡿⠇⣀⡀⠄⠄⠁⣿⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠛⠿⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⣤⣤⣴⠶⠟⠛⠉⠙⠛⠛⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠻⣿⣿⣿⡟⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
November 2021

Pepe

Why won't my sister french kiss me?

Why won't my sister french kiss me? I have a date this weekend and I have never kissed a girl. Anyways I asked my sister nicely if shed let me practice french kissing with her. She slapped me and locked herself in her room. I screamed that she was the only girl I could practice with and she was being selfish. She got scared and called the cops. Plus she told her boyfriend and he wants to kick my ass. WTF is wrong with my sister. I hate her so much
July 2022

Confessions

Text-to-Speech Playing