Pardon me Madam, but I was curious as to what you look like under those tasteful fabrics you are wearing. Perhaps you would do me the honor of removing them and photographing your perfect skin so I can gaze upon your beauty?
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More Copypastas
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Trump nuclear ramble
Look, having nuclearāmy uncle was a great professor and scientist and engineer, Dr. John Trump at MIT; good genes, very good genes, OK, very smart, the Wharton School of Finance, very good, very smart āyou know, if youāre a conservative Republican, if I were a liberal, if, like, OK, if I ran as a liberal Democrat, they would say Iām one of the smartest people anywhere in the worldāitās true!ābut when youāre a conservative Republican they tryāoh, do they do a numberāthatās why I always start off: Went to Wharton, was a good student, went there, went there, did this, built a fortuneāyou know I have to give my like credentials all the time, because weāre a little disadvantagedābut you look at the nuclear deal, the thing that really bothers meāit would have been so easy, and itās not as important as these lives are (nuclear is powerful; my uncle explained that to me many, many years ago, the power and that was 35 years ago; he would explain the power of whatās going to happen and he was rightāwho would have thought?), but when you look at whatās going on with the four prisonersānow it used to be three, now itās fourābut when it was three and even now, I would have said itās all in the messenger; fellas, and it is fellas because, you know, they donāt, they havenāt figured that the women are smarter right now than the men, so, you know, itās gonna take them about another 150 yearsābut the Persians are great negotiators, the Iranians are great negotiators, so, and they, they just killed, they just killed us.
Donald Trump
Artosis is glad Kripp is joining the way of the sellout
twitchquotes:
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twitch chat
Kripp
Infinite poop
twitchquotes:
Infinite poop. You sit on the toilet to poop, but the poop never stops coming out of your butt. You have to start flushing the toilet every two minutes to keep up. You try to pinch your butt closed but that makes your insides hurt. The poop accelerates. You call 911. The paramedics call for doctors. The doctors call for specialists. The story trends on Twitter. You turn down talk show appearances. Your septic tank fails. People form a cult. Your toilet is finished. Volunteers arrive with buckets and shovels. You are completely used to the smell. The poop accelerates. You are moved to a stepladder with a hole in the top step. The poop accelerates. The shovelers abandon the buckets and shovel directly out the window. The poop accelerates. A candlelight vigil forms around your house. One of the workers falls over and can't free himself. The poop accelerates. A priest knocks over the stepladder and tackles you out the window. You land in the pile. The poop accelerates. The force now propels you forward and upward. Vigil goers grab at your legs. The poop ignites from their candles. The Facebook live event hits 1 million viewers. The poop accelerates. You are 30 feet in the air. The fire engulfs the vigil and your house. 60 feet. The poop accelerates. The torrent underneath you is deafening. 5 million Facebook live viewers. You try to close up shop but your butthole disintegrated long ago. 120 feet up. Your house explodes. The poop accelerates. 1000 feet. You are now tracked on radar. You try to change your angle of ascent but you should have thought of that way earlier. The poop accelerates. 4,000 feet. NORAD upgrades to DEFCON 3. Concentric circles of fire engulf your city. The poop accelerates. You have broken the sound barrier. 30,000 feet. You no longer take in enough oxygen to sustain consciousness. 60,000 feet. CNN is reporting on all the world records you've broken. 200,000 feet. You are no longer alive. The poop accelerates. Your body disintegrates but your poop contrail remains. NASA can no longer track you. You break the light-speed barrier and we can no longer bear witness. The poop accelerates. Forever.
twitch chat
Classic
How to prank your school principle
Step 1: Go to his office
Step 2: distract him
Step 3: Put a fish on his desk
Step 4: He'll laugh at it and say "Who put this fish on my desk"
Step 5: Break his kneecaps