So today, for the first time, my little toddler finally counted to ten. Everyone was celebrating, saying how proud they are in my kid, and then Ben Shapiro kicks open the door. "Oh you think it's impressive that they can count to ten? I can count to one million." and then proceeded, in my living room for the next two weeks, to count to one million. He then said "yep, another libtard destroyed" and then curbstomped my kid.
(โฬฟฤนฬฏโโฌโดโฌโด Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Ben Shapiro Copypastas
Ben Shapiro Olive Garden breadsticks
Letโs say that, hypothetically, you really did have unlimited breadsticks. Now, since they are unlimited, that means that you will never run out. However, on Earth there is a limited supply of the materials required to make breadsticks. Thus, if I were to attempt to eat as many breadsticks as possible, I would not be able to as eventually you would sell out, am I correct? Now that we have established that there are infinite breadsticks but finite supplies to make them, would it not be reasonable to conclude that you are either breaking the laws of physics, or are lying to me? And since one cannot break the laws of physics, logically you must be lying to me. Facts donโt care about your feelings liberals, you have committed the crime of false advertising and must give me free food or I will inform the authorities.
Ben Shapiro
Ben Shapiro asks his mom for Robux
Now, letโs say ๐ฃ hypothetically, you ๐, my mother ๐ช. Were to give ๐ me, your 
son ๐โโ๏ธ, your credit ๐ธ card ๐ณ information ๐๐ผ. So I ๐ฅ could make ๐ a purchase ๐ฒ of 500 ๐ฏ robux ๐ on the Roblox.com/store. Contrary to what my sister ๐ฑโโ๏ธ will have you ๐ believe ๐
๐ป, I ๐ฅ have done โ
a very โผ good ๐ job ๐โโ๏ธ๐คต of doing my chores ๐งผ, including ๐ฒ, but ๐ not limited ๐ to; The dishes ๐ณ๐ฝ๐๐ผ, the laundry and the taking ๐ out the trash โน๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ถ๐.
son ๐โโ๏ธ, your credit ๐ธ card ๐ณ information ๐๐ผ. So I ๐ฅ could make ๐ a purchase ๐ฒ of 500 ๐ฏ robux ๐ on the Roblox.com/store. Contrary to what my sister ๐ฑโโ๏ธ will have you ๐ believe ๐
๐ป, I ๐ฅ have done โ
a very โผ good ๐ job ๐โโ๏ธ๐คต of doing my chores ๐งผ, including ๐ฒ, but ๐ not limited ๐ to; The dishes ๐ณ๐ฝ๐๐ผ, the laundry and the taking ๐ out the trash โน๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ถ๐.
Ben Shapiro
Ben Shapiro's naughty girl
Let's say you've been a bad girl. Let's say, hypothetically, you've been a naughty girl even. Ok, and if you were a naughty girl, you would be my dirty little slut right? Then hypothetically speaking, you would be my little cumslut. Now, let's say you're also daddy's girl.
Now that we have established that you are both a bad girl and daddy's girl, I believe you'd agree with me when I say that you deserve a spanking. Am I not correct? A bad girl deserves a spanking, and as I am daddy, you are my girl, so I am the one who must provide punishment.
Ben Shapiro
All Star by Ben Shapiro
Now, lets say, hypothetically, that somebody once told me that the world would proceed to roll me, and made the claim that I was not, the smartest tool in the shed. Which would lead us to look at the facts and see that she was looking kind of dumb, due to the fact that she had placed her finger and her thumb, in the shape of the letter L, located on her forehead.
This would mean that the years would start coming, and logically wont stop coming, that I was, hypothetically, fed to the rules, which would proceed with me hitting the ground running. Which didnโt make sense, to live for fun, in a way that your brain gets smart, yet your head gets dumb, seeing as thereโs so much to do, and so much to see, so now I must pose the question, what is wrong with taking the backseat? This is due to the fact that youโll never know if you donโt go, nor you will shine if you donโt glow.
For you see, you are, at this moment, an All-Star, so get your game on, and proceed to go play, indeed, youโre an All-Star, get the show on, which would entitled you to get paid. That would mean that all that glitters, is indeed gold, and that only shooting stars, can participate in the process of breaking the mold.
Ben Shapiro
Obi Wan Shapiro
Okay, so letโs say hypothetically, these werenโt the droids youโre looking for. You see, the droids youโre looking for have the Death Star plans, correct? However, as those droid are close minded liberals, and these droids are free thinking informed conservatives, these would not be the droids youโre looking for. Now, if you were to assume that these droids are the droids youโre looking for because they are a protocol droid and an astromech, then that would actually make you the real racists, as you would assume that all astromech droids have the death star plans. So if this were true, these arenโt the droid youโre looking for.