[Copypasta] Ben Shapiro goes to the movie theatre

let's say, hypothetically, that i went to the movie theater, and the movie i was watching happened to be three hours long. for the sake of the argument, i am about halfway through watching the movie, and i have to go to the bathroom. based on what's happening on screen, i can determine that an important scene is coming up, and that i need to see it if i want to understand the plot. what's stopping me from pissing in the drink cup they gave me for my dr. pepper? if i can do it quietly enough, no one is going to be able to notice what i'm doing, and, in my honest opinion, pissing in the drink cup is a much better alternative to using the bathroom, since i would've missed an important plot point had i chosen to do so. lastly, no one would have to clean it up afterwards, since it's all contained within the drink cup, which is meant to be disposed of after the movie anyways, and, as a result, will not affect the theater staff in any way whatsoever.
December 2020

Ben Shapiro

(โ–€ฬฟฤนฬฏโ”œโ”ฌโ”ดโ”ฌโ”ด Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Ben Shapiro Copypastas

All Star by Ben Shapiro

Now, lets say, hypothetically, that somebody once told me that the world would proceed to roll me, and made the claim that I was not, the smartest tool in the shed. Which would lead us to look at the facts and see that she was looking kind of dumb, due to the fact that she had placed her finger and her thumb, in the shape of the letter L, located on her forehead. This would mean that the years would start coming, and logically wont stop coming, that I was, hypothetically, fed to the rules, which would proceed with me hitting the ground running. Which didnโ€™t make sense, to live for fun, in a way that your brain gets smart, yet your head gets dumb, seeing as thereโ€™s so much to do, and so much to see, so now I must pose the question, what is wrong with taking the backseat? This is due to the fact that youโ€™ll never know if you donโ€™t go, nor you will shine if you donโ€™t glow. For you see, you are, at this moment, an All-Star, so get your game on, and proceed to go play, indeed, youโ€™re an All-Star, get the show on, which would entitled you to get paid. That would mean that all that glitters, is indeed gold, and that only shooting stars, can participate in the process of breaking the mold.
December 2020

Ben Shapiro

Let's say, hypothetically, that you are submissive and breedable

Let's say, hypothetically, that you are on your bed, and let's suppose that you are also submissive and breedable. Now, let's say you are a male. Statistically speaking, humans, that are submissive and breedable tend to be femboys, that's a fact (which doesn't about your feelings). Hypothetically under these circumstances, it would be statistically speaking uncontroversial to assume you would be wearing thigh highs (which would boost your breedability factor by about 20%). Now let's assume you are an SJW SOCIALIST LIBTARD, and let's say I was you, would it not be under these circumstances, the only correct course of action for you to take to ABSOLUTELY WRECK AND DESTROY me (in a debate) in bed?
April 2022

Ben Shapiro

Obi Wan Shapiro

Okay, so letโ€™s say hypothetically, these werenโ€™t the droids youโ€™re looking for. You see, the droids youโ€™re looking for have the Death Star plans, correct? However, as those droid are close minded liberals, and these droids are free thinking informed conservatives, these would not be the droids youโ€™re looking for. Now, if you were to assume that these droids are the droids youโ€™re looking for because they are a protocol droid and an astromech, then that would actually make you the real racists, as you would assume that all astromech droids have the death star plans. So if this were true, these arenโ€™t the droid youโ€™re looking for.
December 2020

Ben Shapiro

Ben Shapiro destroys another leftist

"Mr. Shapiro, what are your thoughts on women's rights to have an abortion?" Ben: "WELL, that's a very interesting QUESTION, SIR. Before I get started, did you know that my WIFE is a DOCTOR?" Reporter: "...Mr. Shapiro, that's- not-" Ben: "I didn't think so, LEFTIST. Now back to your question- 'should women be allowed to MURDER and SHOOT innocent BABIES and CHILDREN?" Reporter: "Sir, that's not what my orig-" Ben: "OBVIOUSLY not. Now according to PragerU UNIVERSITY, there once was a FARMER who had a DOG, and Bingo was his name-o. Do you know how to spell it?" Reporter: (silence) Ben: "B-I-N-G-O. And Bingo was his name-o." (Stares reporter in the eye; has not blinked since the asked question) "B, I, N G O, B, I, N G O, B, I, N G O, And Bingo was his name-o." Reporter: (Visibly taken aback) "Mr. Shapiro, this is ridiculo-" (The conservative crowd begins laughing and shouting and singing with Ben) All: "And Bingo was his name-o!" (Ben shouting as the curtains close,) "Another CUCK LEFTIST DESTROYED! BAZINGA!"
October 2021

Ben Shapiro

Ben Shapiro asks his mom for Robux

Now, letโ€™s say ๐Ÿ—ฃ hypothetically, you ๐Ÿ‘†, my mother ๐Ÿ‘ช. Were to give ๐ŸŽ me, your ๐Ÿ‘‰ son ๐Ÿ™Žโ€โ™‚๏ธ, your ๐Ÿ‘‰ credit ๐Ÿ’ธ card ๐Ÿ’ณ information ๐Ÿ‘Œ๐Ÿผ. So I ๐Ÿ‘ฅ could make ๐Ÿ›  a purchase ๐Ÿ’ฒ of 500 ๐Ÿ’ฏ robux ๐Ÿ‘ on the Roblox.com/store. Contrary to what my sister ๐Ÿ‘ฑโ€โ™€๏ธ will have you ๐Ÿ‘† believe ๐Ÿ™…๐Ÿป, I ๐Ÿ‘ฅ have done โœ… a very โ€ผ good ๐Ÿ‘Œ job ๐Ÿ™†โ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿคต of doing my chores ๐Ÿงผ, including ๐Ÿ“ฒ, but ๐Ÿ‘ not limited ๐Ÿ”’ to; The dishes ๐Ÿ˜ณ๐Ÿฝ๐Ÿ‘ˆ๐Ÿผ, the laundry and the taking ๐Ÿ‘Š out the trash โ›น๏ธโ€โ™€๏ธ๐Ÿ‘ถ๐Ÿ—‘.
December 2020

Ben Shapiro

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