[Copypasta] I can no longer resist the pizza

twitchquotes: I can no longer resist the pizza. I open the box and unzip my pants with my other hand. As I penetrate the gooey cheese, I moan in ecstacy. The mushrooms and Italian sausage are rough, but the sauce is deliciously soothing. I blow my load in seconds. As you leave the bathroom, I exit through the front door....
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp
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More Kripp Copypastas

Ben Brode increased Kripp's odds for going second

twitchquotes: Hi Kripp, Ben Brode here. After checking your account, we noticed that your odds for going second were accidentally set to "60" % instead of "50"%. We apologize for the inconvenience, as this change was mean to be applied to a "reynad" account. The issue is on our radar, and we will patch it when we can. Thank you and have a good day!
twitch chat
February 2017
Kripp

Hearthstone

Any advice, Dad?

twitchquotes: Kส€ษชแด˜แด˜, แด›สœษชs ษชs Tสส€แดษดแด‡, แดœส€ sแดษด. Mส แดแดแด, Lแด€วซแดœษชsสœแด€, ษดแด‡แด แด‡ส€ แด›แดสŸแด… สแดแดœ แด€ส™แดแดœแด› แดแด‡. I แดŠแดœsแด› ษขแดแด› แด‹ษชแด„แด‹แด‡แด… แดแดœแด› แดา“ Cแด€ษดแด€แด…ษชแด€ษด แด‡สŸแด‡แดแด‡ษดแด›แด€ส€ส sแด„สœแดแดสŸ า“แดส€ sแด€สษชษดษข "F*แด„แด‹" สŸษชแด‹แด‡ แดœ. Oส€ แดแด€สส™แด‡ ษชแด› แดกแด€s า“แดส€ สแด‡สŸสŸษชษดษข "RIP" แดกสœษชสŸแด‡ แด˜แดœษดแด„สœษชษดษข แด€ แด‹ษชแด…...แด€ษดส แด€แด…แด ษชแด„แด‡, Dแด€แด…?
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

Kripp and G2A

twitchquotes: "I won't do it." says Kripp."You guys are rotten scammers selling stolen keys." The G2A dealer stands in the corner, face obscured by the shadows. "Are you sure?" he says with a toothy grin. Kripp nods. The G2A dealer steps out of the shadow, and Kripp is shocked to see it is none other than Scamaz. "I give the order, and Rania and Pupparian die. I've already taken Cattarian as punishment. Now sign the deal." Kripp sobs as he signs, and hopes his viewers will one day understand his plight.
twitch chat
July 2016
Kripp

Kripp

โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–“โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–“โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–“โ–„โ–‘ โ–‘โ–โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–Œ โ–‘โ–โ–“โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–„โ–„โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–’โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–’โ–’โ–“ โ–‘โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“ โ–‘โ–โ–“โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–“ โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’ โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–Œ โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–Œ โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–“โ–“โ–€โ–€โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–Œ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ–‘ โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–“โ–„โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–€โ–’โ–„
November 2014
Kripp

Chugga Chugga

twitchquotes: แ••โ”Œโ—•แ—œโ—•โ”แ•— CHUGGA CHUGGA! แ••โ”Œโ—•แ—œโ—•โ”แ•—
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing