[Copypasta] I can no longer resist the pizza

twitchquotes: I can no longer resist the pizza. I open the box and unzip my pants with my other hand. As I penetrate the gooey cheese, I moan in ecstacy. The mushrooms and Italian sausage are rough, but the sauce is deliciously soothing. I blow my load in seconds. As you leave the bathroom, I exit through the front door....
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp
I used to be a real ad
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Leifman is part of the Third Reich

twitchquotes: ｗｈｅｎ ｌｅｉｆｍａｎ ｍｏｄ ｔｈｅ ｃｈａｔ ａｕｔｏｍａｔｉｃａｌｌｙ ｇｏ ｔｏ ｒ９ｋ． ｌｅｉｆｍａｎ ｄｅｌｅｔｅ ｔｈｅ ｐａｓｔａ ａｎｄ ｆｅｅｌ ｈｅ ｉｓ ｏｎｅ ｗｉｔｈ ｔｈｅ ａｄｏｌｆ． ａｌｌ ｂｅｃｏｍｉｎｇ ｔｈｉｒｄ ｒｅｉｃｈ．ž
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

48 year man from somalia

twitchquotes: Hello Kripp Aryan, am 48 year man from somalia. Sorry for my bed england.. I selled my wife for internet connection for play "heart of stone" and i want to become the goodest player like you. I play with 400 ping on US server and i am rakn 17. pls no copy pasterino my story
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Classic

i graduated top of my class from burger king

twitchquotes: you fucking vegan, ill have you know i graduated top of my class from burger king university in burger flipping and have flipped over 9000 burgers in my day you dumb vegan, but you wouldn't know that would you you soy muncher? If you said that to my face I would be flipping patties all over your vegan face and you'd be full of my meat before you even knew what was happening.
twitch chat
September 2017
Kripp

The unluckiest human ever

twitchquotes: BREAKING NEWS - Canadian scientists have discovered what they are calling "the unluckiest human ever". The unfortunate individual, a scraggly, foul-smelling, unkempt Canadian man, discovered this condition by badly playing a digital children's card game. "It's literally unbelievable, dude", the man told scientists. "I play every game perfectly, but my opponents just keep topdecking me!" The man continued to whine incessantly until, unfortunately, he dropped dead of a salt overdose.
twitch chat
June 2016
Kripp

What if we make Firelands Portal a common?

twitchquotes: "How did Kripp get 12 wins?" Ben Brode demanded at the board meeting. "You were supposed to be monitoring him, Charlie." "Sorry, I must've fallen asleep. He was streaming some boring action-RPG earlier today." Ben Brode frowned. "The salt shortage is cutting into our profits. We're going to need a solution, quick." Sarah raised her hand. "What if we make Firelands Portal a common?"
twitch chat
August 2016
Kripp

Hearthstone

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