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Is buttcheeks one word, or shall I spread them apart?
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The Battle of Gamestop rages on.
The Battle of Gamestop rages on.
Pre-market we could hear the bears in no-man’s land, baiting us towards higher prices so the shorts could do their dirty work. I was stationed at the 13.80 line, and knew the morning was going to be hot. I shoveled a breakfast of tendies and said a quick prayer to Father Cohen.
When the bell rang, the bears surged into our trenches. Blood and rainbow fur filled the air and littered the ground. The Diamond Division has seen worse days, and we held firm. As the bears retreated we gave chase to retake ground we’d lost in the past week.
As I caught my breath near the 14.50, I could see bodies everywhere; paper hands who had fallen in earlier battles. One of them groaned and reached a hand towards me. I spat on him and kept moving. No honor in retreat, and no sympathy for self-inflicted wounds.
This war won’t be won in a day, but it will be won. Tell my wife’s boyfriend to tell her I love her.
WallStreetBets
EGGYAYA
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣬⡙⢿⣿⣿⣦⢻⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢿⣿⣿⣿⠟⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡙⣿⣿⣦⢻⣿
⣿⣿⣿⡿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡈⢻⡿⢋⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣌⢿⣿⡎⣿
⣿⢻⣿⡇⠘⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠁⣾⣷⣶⣮⣭⡙⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠙⣿⢸
⣿⡌⢿⣿⡘⣷⣮⣍⡛⠿⣿⠋⣠⣦⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣦⣭⣙⠻⣿⡜⣌⠂
⡟⣰⡘⣿⣧⢻⣿⣿⣿⡷⠂⢀⣭⡙⠓⠈⠛⠛⣋⣩⣴⣶⣶⣶⡆⣥⣴⣅⡉⣰
⢱⣿⣷⡜⢿⣆⢻⣿⠋⣠⡾⠋⡉⣀⢞⣳⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⣿⣿⣿⡇⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣍⠣⠄⣈⠹⣦⣭⣥⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⣿⣿⣿⡇⣙
⡿⠛⠋⣉⣉⡙⢱⣿⣾⣿⡎⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⢻⣿⣿⡐⣿
⢶⣾⢹⣄⡠⣸⡘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣭⣉⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⢿⣿⢸⣿⣿⡇⢏
⣧⢻⣷⣶⣿⣿⣇⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⢋⣼⣿⠿⢟⣫⣥⠶⢊⡁⣼⣧⢸⣿⣿⡇⣿
⠠⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡘⠿⠟⣛⣥⡾⢟⣫⣴⣿⠟⢋⣠⣴⣿⢀⣿⣿⡸⣿⣿⡇⠙
⠄⠘⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠟⣋⣴⡿⠛⣉⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⢣⣿⣿⣿⣇⢻⣿⡇⠄
⠄⠄⠈⢿⣿⣟⠫⠤⠚⢛⠛⣛⣡⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢟⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⣿⣧⢀
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⢿⣷⣬⡛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⣫⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⢸⣿⠄
Mizkif
The tragedy of Darth Pepega
twitchquotes:
Did you ever hear the tragedy of Darth 
the Retarded? I thought not. It's not a story the High Elo players would tell you. It's a Silver legend. Darth was a Dark Lord of the Silver, so boosted and so retarded he could use his Flame to influence the outcome of the game... He had such a knowledge of the flame, he could even keep the ones who tried to carry him from winning. The dark side of the Mental is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural. He became so powerful... the only thing he was afraid of was losing his power, which eventually, of course, he did. Unfortunately, he taught a rioter everything he knew, then the rioter banned him in his sleep. Ironic. He could grant the enemy team LP, but not himself.
the Retarded? I thought not. It's not a story the High Elo players would tell you. It's a Silver legend. Darth was a Dark Lord of the Silver, so boosted and so retarded he could use his Flame to influence the outcome of the game... He had such a knowledge of the flame, he could even keep the ones who tried to carry him from winning. The dark side of the Mental is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural. He became so powerful... the only thing he was afraid of was losing his power, which eventually, of course, he did. Unfortunately, he taught a rioter everything he knew, then the rioter banned him in his sleep. Ironic. He could grant the enemy team LP, but not himself.
twitch chat
Tragedy of Darth Plagueis The Wise
League of Legends
Imaqtpie takes a break from the stream
twitchquotes:
"Alright we fuckin lost," Michael says. "I'm gonna go piss." He turns down the volume on his microphone, and immediately bites Small Cat's vulnerable tail. As Small Cat yelps loudly in pain, Michael overturns the nearest chair, yelling "SMAKET I LOST" as loudly as he can. Lisha tries to calm him down, but Michael swiftly bodyslams her onto a glass coffee table. After taking a few deep breaths, Michael wipes the blood off of his face, sits back down at his computer, and resumes his stream.
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imaqtpie
League of Legends
I've been unvaccinated for 9 months now
I've been unvaccinated for 9 months now, moving from place to place, keeping ahead of the vaxmaxers, never staying anywhere too long, never letting my face become known. "It's great being vaxmaxed isn't it" the shopkeep says vacantly, to nobody in particular. In keeping with the act I reply to the Heinz Baked Beans Substitute 6 Pack (No Plastic) in my hand, something unrelated, with what I hope is a slightly bemused tone. It takes a lot longer to do my shopping these days, I can't simply march through the shop in an orderly fashion, taking what I need in a single trip, I have to absent mindedly shuffle back and forward between the aisles, never really displaying any intent. As unpresent as they are, the vaxmaxed would notice if I was too focused, too alert. A loud smashing sound in the distance almost blows my cover, I notice, and focus on the sound. The vaxmaxed around me slowly aim their distant gaze on me, but I'm able to save myself, I continue my neck jerk and turn it in to a series of spasms, I drop to the floor convulsing, the vaxmaxed around me quickly lose interest and continue on with their day. "That means it's working" one elderly lady comments to her milk as she passes. I continue the charade long enough to filter out most of the vaxmaxed sharing the aisle. It takes a while, and no insubstantial amount of sweat on my part, but I make it to the checkout. A morbidly obese woman directs the horde at the tills, seemingly oblivious to the cacophony of aberrant scan noises and blinking red lights above the entirely self service super checkout. I wait dutifully, not wanting to be noticed, not wanting to be set upon by the Asda Security Vax Checker team, it had taken all my best bluffing to get past them at the door, I almost chuckled when they believed my vax card was in the post but it was quickly stifled, a chuckled would have given me away, a chuckle would have seen me held down and injected with science juice.