twitchquotes:
Is buttcheeks one word, or shall I spread them apart?
twitch chat
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas
it will look like a copy pasta
twitchquotes:
i bet if i just type out a paragraph plat chat will copy pasta it. literally there is nothing funny or interesting about this text but it is pretty long so it will look like a copy pasta.
twitch chat
I just nutted to your comment FAQ (Reddit)
I just nutted to your comment.
# FAQ
## What does this mean?
The amount of cum (semen) on my phone and Reddit phone has increased by one.
## Why did you do this?
There are several reasons I may deem a comment to be worthy of cum. These include, but are not limited to:
• you being a femboy, • Spreading sti infections, • Sarcasm correctly flagged with a /s.
## Am I banned from the Reddit?
No. But you should make comments like this in the future. Otherwise I will be forced to not cum.
## I don't believe my comment deserved a nut. Can you un-nut to it?
Sure, mistakes happen. But only in exceedingly rare circumstances will I undo a nut. If you would like to issue an appeal, shoot your nut on me. I tend to respond to Being shot with nut within several minutes. Do note, however, that over 99.9% of nut appeals are rejected, and yours is likely no exception.
## How can I prevent this from happening in the future?
Accept the nut and move on. your behavior will be nutted to on Reddit.com. I will continue to nut until you stop being so hot 😩 Remember: I’m horny uwu
No, you’re NOT a real gamer.
No, you’re NOT a real gamer.
I’m so sick of all these people that think they’re gamers. No, you’re not. Most of you are not even close to being gamers. I see these people saying “I put well over 100 hours in this game, it’s great!” that’s nothing, most of us can easily put 300+ hours in all our games. I see people who only have a Nintendo Switch and claim to be gamers. Come talk to me when you pick up a PS4 controller then we be friends.
Also DEAR ALL WOMEN: Pokémon is not a real game. Animal Crossing is not a real game. The Sims is not a real game. Mario is not a real game. Stardew valley is not a real game. Mobile games are NOT.REAL.GAMES. put down the baby games and play something that requires challenge and skill for once.
Sincerely, all of the ACTUAL gamers.
TIFU: Losing my Virginity to a Water Slide
So do you guys know those waterslides that you stand in, and then they suddenly drop you straight down onto the water slide? If not, look them up on YouTube, there's nothing like them.
Ah yes, the sweet memories of my first time on one of these. I feel that my mental/emotional scars have healed enough to tell this gem.
At the time my girlfriend, now Fiancée, worked as a photographer for one of those resorts with the indoor and outdoor water parks. One of her perks was that her and a family member/friend could get into the waterpark for free, so one hot summer day she had off and we both decided it'd be fun to go there and cool down for the day.
While we were there, I discovered one of there most "Thrilling" looking waterslides. Basically you stand in this tube, and then the slide operator presses a button and this slide drops you straight down a good 90 FEET, before you actually start going down the water slide. Me, being a thrill seeker, of course had to try it. So I made the great climb up to the top of the slide, stood in line, and finally it was my turn. Once I got in the tube, the operator told me to keep my legs crossed. Now I'm a pretty big heavy guy, so I was like "That's uncomfortable as fuck, I'm not doing that". So there I was standing in the tube, having a panic attack from anticipation, with my legs not crossed. The operator finally presses the button, the bottom opens and I fall straight down the water slide. Very quickly I realized why they have you cross your legs. Water shot so far up my ass, so fast, I swear I tasted it in my mouth. My body raced down that slide, as I questioned every life choice that I have ever made.
Once I made it to the bottom, I sat there for a moment, absolutely violated. I felt like someone in an episode of Law & Order: Special Victims Unit. I built up the courage to finally stand up, and all I could feel was the nice warm stream of water mixed with shit, and maybe a little bit of blood shoot out of my ass faster than the Steamboat Geyser at Yellowstone National Park. I quickly got off the slide and ran to the bathroom, with a trail of shitty water tailing me as the slide operator stared in awe. They had to shut down the slide for the rest of the day :'), but man was my asshole clean after that!
Moral of the story: Keep your damn legs crossed on waterslides.
Classic
You have exceeded your monthly allowance of haHAA
twitchquotes:
This is Comcast. You have exceeded your monthly allowance of 
and will pay overage fees of $20 per for the rest of this billing cycle.
and will pay overage fees of $20 per for the rest of this billing cycle.
twitch chat