Hey, Mr. Morosan, this is Mike from Video Playground
twitchquotes:Hey, Mr. Morosan, this is Mike from Video Playground, the adult marketplace. You've been ignoring my calls about your outstanding debt of $12.99 for Big Vegan Balls IV. I'm not here to shame or embarrass you for your taste in husky, sweaty man love, but I've got a business to run, and I wouldn't be able to provide you with the entertainment you frequently enjoy if I didn't get paid. Please don't make me revoke your platinum membership.
Hey, Mr. Morosan, this is Mike from Video Playground, the adult marketplace. You've been ignoring my calls about your outstanding debt of $12.99 for Big Vegan Balls IV. I'm not here to shame or embarrass you for your taste in husky, sweaty man love, but I've got a business to run, and I wouldn't be able to provide you with the entertainment you frequently enjoy if I didn't get paid. Please don't make me revoke your platinum membership.
Holy shit. Rudy Giuliani came into the presser to bring me a plate of election fraud evidence and I literally screamed at him and hit the plate of evidence out of his hand. He started yelling "HEEEREEE'S KRAKEN!" at me and I cut the live feed on him. I’m so distressed right now I don’t know what to do. I didn’t mean to do that to Rudy but I’m literally in shock from the evidence tonight. I feel like I’m going to explode. Why the fucking fuck is he losing? This can’t be happening. I’m having a fucking breakdown. I don’t want to believe the world is so corrupt. I want to Build Back Better™. I want Biden to be president and fix this broken country. I cannot fucking deal with this right now. It wasn’t supposed to be like this, I thought he was polling well in Michigan???? This is so fucked.
Holy shit. Rudy Giuliani came into the presser to bring me a plate of election fraud evidence and I literally screamed at him and hit the plate of evidence out of his hand. He started yelling "HEEEREEE'S KRAKEN!" at me and I cut the live feed on him. I’m so distressed right now I don’t know what to do. I didn’t mean to do that to Rudy but I’m literally in shock from the evidence tonight. I feel like I’m going to explode. Why the fucking fuck is he losing? This can’t be happening. I’m having a fucking breakdown. I don’t want to believe the world is so corrupt. I want to Build Back Better™. I want Biden to be president and fix this broken country. I cannot fucking deal with this right now. It wasn’t supposed to be like this, I thought he was polling well in Michigan???? This is so fucked.
Chess is a crappy tactical turn based RPG
Chess is a crappy tactical turn based RPG developed by a bunch of monkeys.
Right away you'll notice Chess has no storyline. Instead, all you notice is the the White army and the Black army are fighting each other over a battlefield. Note the "a battlefield," because Chess only has one story map.
As for the actual combat, it's extremely dull. Each unit can kill another with only one hit. This means units with a real good movement ability dominate the field (more on that bellow). There aren't even any combat animations or anything that happens in combat. One unit moves on it's space and "captures" it, and the piece is removed from the game with no form of action or special effects.
Yawn.
Chess has shitty class balance. The Queen is flat out overpowered while your actual front line units, the Pawns. can't do shit. I think the developers were afraid that no one would use the female character so they buffed up her abilities really high but now theres no point in using any other unit.
The rest of the units suck. Rooks can only move in 4 directions, same with Bishops. Boring. Also, whats up with the Knight? It has the most bizzare combat abilities of all the units. They're retardly hard to use cause they jump around like retards to move and attack. The devs should have named this unit Ninja, since Knights didn't jump around like that in real life.
Worst part, is the king. You see, the devs decided that if your king gets captured, you instantly lose the game. W-T-F? This wouldn't be a problem, except that he can't move for crap. Seriously, the most important unit in the game can only move 1 space a turn? Good luck keeping him alive while every other unit in the game dances around him.
Unbalanced classes, lackluster gameplay, and not to mention repetitive 1 hour+ games. Chess is not worth the time or your money. Buy Final Fantasy Tactics or Disgaea instead.
3 out of 10.
Chess is a crappy tactical turn based RPG developed by a bunch of monkeys.
Right away you'll notice Chess has no storyline. Instead, all you notice is the the White army and the Black army are fighting each other over a battlefield. Note the "a battlefield," because Chess only has one story map.
As for the actual combat, it's extremely dull. Each unit can kill another with only one hit. This means units with a real good movement ability dominate the field (more on that bellow). There aren't even any combat animations or anything that happens in combat. One unit moves on it's space and "captures" it, and the piece is removed from the game with no form of action or special effects.
Yawn.
Chess has shitty class balance. The Queen is flat out overpowered while your actual front line units, the Pawns. can't do shit. I think the developers were afraid that no one would use the female character so they buffed up her abilities really high but now theres no point in using any other unit.
The rest of the units suck. Rooks can only move in 4 directions, same with Bishops. Boring. Also, whats up with the Knight? It has the most bizzare combat abilities of all the units. They're retardly hard to use cause they jump around like retards to move and attack. The devs should have named this unit Ninja, since Knights didn't jump around like that in real life.
Worst part, is the king. You see, the devs decided that if your king gets captured, you instantly lose the game. W-T-F? This wouldn't be a problem, except that he can't move for crap. Seriously, the most important unit in the game can only move 1 space a turn? Good luck keeping him alive while every other unit in the game dances around him.
Unbalanced classes, lackluster gameplay, and not to mention repetitive 1 hour+ games. Chess is not worth the time or your money. Buy Final Fantasy Tactics or Disgaea instead.
3 out of 10.