[Copypasta] Instagram Black Squares

twitchquotes: My fellow Americans, due to the overwhelming amount of Black squares teenage girls are posting on Instagram, the supreme court has decided end racism completely. We did not think you would go to such extreme measures but you have very much proved your point. The Military will be told to stand down just please stop. Thank you
twitch chat
June 2020
I used to be a real ad
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69 is so funny

twitchquotes: 69 is so funny. Whenever I hear it, I just burst out laughing. I run out into the living room and grab the Tv remote. I start flicking through the channels. “You guys, it’s so funny, you’ll laugh so hard!” I can barely get it out as I’m laughing so hard, banging the table and snickering while I flick through the TV channels. I finally get to The CW, and the number 69 is on the bottom right-hand corner of the screen! My family and friends who were over all stand up in tremendous applause, and my wife and children come back from upstate to be with my comedic genius!
twitch chat
April 2020

Uganda Knuckles

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣠⣤⣤⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣤⣤⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣋⣩⣭⣭⣭⣉⡻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⣠⣴⣭⣹⣟⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢣⣼⣿⣿⠛⠁⠘⠿⠿⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠛⠛⠁⣿⣿⡯⣫⣤⣴⣶⣶⣤⣭⣛⡸⣿⣿⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⢀⣴⣷⠬⣉⣀⣈⣹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣮⣝⣛⣯⣤⣤⣤⣤⣭⣛⠿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠈⠉⣽⣶⣶⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⢛⡛⠛⠿⣿⣿⣷⡌⢻⣿ ⣀⢰⣿⣦⡝⠛⢷⣮⡛⠻⣿⣿⣿⠿⢛⣫⣵⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⣣⣾⣿ ⣿⢸⣿⡿⠀⣿⣶⣝⢿⣿⣶⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⣩⣵⣶⠇⣿⣿⣿⢹ ⣿⢸⣿⠀⡇⢹⣿⣿⡶⠎⣙⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⢟⣛⣩⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⡟⣸⣿⣿⠇⣸ ⣿⡇⠛⢠⣿⡀⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠈⠛⠻⠿⠿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠛⠛⠛⠁⠀⣿⡿⠃⠀⣿ ⣿⣿⣧⣿⣿⣷⡘⢿⡇⢸⣦⣤⣀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣤⡄⠼⢋⣴⡇⠸⢋ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣮⡃⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣿⡿⢀⣠⣾
ascii art
November 2018

Am I The Asshole for not being able to trade options for my dad? I’m 6.

This started about 4 years ago when I was 2 years old. My dad started to supplement me picture books and cartoons with beginner options books and Martin Shkerli's live videos on how to pick pharmaceutical stocks. Over the course of these years I have retained absolutely nothing even though my dad has spent every waking minute trying to make me understand. He has done almost everything including having Jerome Powell's speeches play while I am sleeping and only having Warren Buffet on the TV to try and make me understand the market. Yesterday, he got to a breaking point when I couldn't differentiate between a straddle and a strangle even though we went through different strategies for almost a month straight. My dad finally convinced my mom that they were doing the right thing when he said that I will soon be a Wendy's worker begging my wife's husband for a weekly allowance because I will never amount to be anything. He couldn't fathom raising a kid who was not able to able to make a profit from trading options by the time he was 10. With all that said, if anyone wants a 6 year old child who is shitty at market strategy, plz adopt me from Eternal Sunny Orphanage in Omaha, Nebraska.
September 2021

WallStreetBets

Am I The Asshole?

I sexually identify as You

Hi, my name is whatever yours is and I sexually identify as you. I use I/me/myself pronouns. If you’re wondering “Won’t that get you confused with me?” you are a transphobic bigot because I clearly stated that I identify as, and therefore am, you. By saying that I can get confused with you, you are implying that I am not you, and denying that I’m you is transphobic because you are denying my gender identity, and also your own because I am you. If you are now wondering “Doesn’t that make you also a transphobe?” then I will answer. No, it does not. ❤️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️
January 2021

I sexually Identify as

You can't be kicked from an Among Us game

Did you know that InnerSloth (the owner of Among Us) says that you can't actually be kicked from a game by the owner? Section 34 of their TOS states that any individual who purchases a copy of the game has a right to play the game, and cannot be prevented from playing games by any individual. If you've kicked from a game recently, or want to learn more, google "Among Us rule 34"
February 2021

Among Us / Amogus

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