[Copypasta] Instagram Black Squares

twitchquotes: My fellow Americans, due to the overwhelming amount of Black squares teenage girls are posting on Instagram, the supreme court has decided end racism completely. We did not think you would go to such extreme measures but you have very much proved your point. The Military will be told to stand down just please stop. Thank you
twitch chat
June 2020
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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Fired for masturbating on a Zoom call

So this just happened an hour ago and I am still shaking. I’m a staff in public accounting and was in the middle of a 3-hour training on Zoom. Usually when we have these types of calls I just keep the video running in the background and I walk around the room doing things to pass the time and distract myself from the monotone presenters. Well today I forgot that I left the camera on (I usually always have it off but earlier today I had a call with the partner to discuss my upcoming promotion, so I had to have it on). I had no clue I had left the camera on and in the middle of walking around and muttering to myself as I was zoning out, I flipped it out and started to rub one out. I did so with complete confidence, openly and ferociously, stroking faster and faster until I heard the presenter stop and kindly asked me to turn my camera off. Mortified, I lifted my pants up and rushed over to turn the camera off. Soon after the training was over I had a call with HR and they let me know that I was being terminated. I hated the job anyway so not so bummed about that, but I’m not sure what to say in interviews now if I’m asked why I left this job. Any advice?
June 2021

Crewmate with long legs and dick

ascii art
October 2021

Among Us / Amogus

NSFW

Buff bunny (my gf telling the waitress my food is wrong)

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀(\__/)⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀(•ㅅ•)⠀⠀my gf telling the waitress ⠀＿ノ⠀ヽ⠀ノ⠀＼＿⠀⠀my food is wrong /⠀️⠀Y⠀⌒Ｙ⌒⠀Ｙ⠀️⠀️ヽ (⠀️⠀️⠀️(三ヽ人⠀⠀/⠀⠀⠀| |⠀️⠀️⠀️ﾉ⠀¯¯\⠀￣￣ヽノ ヽ＿＿＿⠀⠀＞､＿_／ ⠀⠀⠀｜⠀(⠀王⠀)〈⠀⠀ (\__/) ⠀⠀⠀/⠀⠀ﾐ`——彡⠀\ (•ㅅ•) me
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March 2021

Honestly, that's what I call a cool story bro

twitchquotes: Honestly, that's what I call a cool story bro. Such a riveting tale, I honestly copy and pasted it to word, saved on my hard drive, backed it up on a jump drive, drove to the bank, put the jump drive in the safe deposit box, and will leave it there until my kids turn about 12 (when they can actually state their age, and ask what it is I'm showing them), when I will pick it up, put it in an old USB drive reader and relay this cool story to them and tell them, "kids, this is what a cool story should look and sound like...not like the stories your generation tells.
twitch chat
April 2020

Classic

Wrench

⣤⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣦ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⠁⠈⠉⢙⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠋⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⠉⠉⢿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠋⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⣾⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣤⣤⣤⣤⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣏⠋⢀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣦⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣗⠀⣿⣿⠗⠀⣠⣦⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣦⣤⣤⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠉⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣏⠉
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January 2020
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