[Copypasta] Every time I see Tifa punch someone I get a little sadder

twitchquotes: Every time I see Tifa punch someone I get a little sadder, because tha tis one less punch that could have been directed at my nutsack. I pray at night for Tifa to break into my house and mercilessly beat the everloving fuck out of my balls. I will pray extra hard tonight.
twitch chat
April 2020
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

HITLER

โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–“โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–„โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–ˆโ–“โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–„โ–“โ–€โ–ˆโ–Œโ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–’โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–ˆโ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–Œโ–€โ–’โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–’โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–Œโ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–Œโ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–’โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–€โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–“โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘
ascii art
November 2014

How to kill a geologist

Disclaimer: my hatred of geologists is purely theatrical, but if I did have to kill one for some reason, it would be very easy. Iโ€™d brandish my obsidian knife at them and theyโ€™d be compelled to approach. โ€œThatโ€™s very cool,โ€ theyโ€™d say, confident in their superior strength and endurance from all the rocks they carry around at all times. Theyโ€™d shower me with very interesting facts about obsidian and hover just out of range of the cutting edge, waiting for me to exhaust myself. โ€œBut as it is volcanic glass, itโ€™s very fragile, you see, and isnโ€™t well-suited for use as a weapโ€”โ€ and then Iโ€™d hit them with the wooden baseball bat in my other hand, which they would not have noticed because geologists can only see rocks and minerals.
January 2022

Golden Kappa beta test

twitchquotes: Kappa ItsBoshyTime TWITCH WARNING: ItsBoshyTime This chat has been chosen for the Golden Kappa beta test. Every 100 Kappa s, one will be Golden!
twitch chat
October 2016

Yer in proper mess ya nob head

twitchquotes: แดœ แดกแดแด› แด8? ษช sแดกแด‡ส€ แดœ แด€ส€แด‡ แดษดแด‡ แด„สœแด‡แด‡แด‹ส แด„แดœษดแด› แดแด€แด›แด‡, sแด€ส ษชแด› แด›แด แดส า“แด€แด„แด‡ แด€ษดแด… ษดแดแด› แดษดสŸษชษดแด‡ แด€ษดแด… แดกแด‡'สŸสŸ sแด‡แด‡ แดกสœแด€แด› สœแด€แด˜แด˜แด‡ษดs. ษช sแดกแด‡ส€ 2 แด„สœส€ษชsแด› I'สŸสŸ สœแดแดแด‹ สแดแดœ ษชษด แด›สœแด‡ ษขแด€ส™ส™แด€. สแดแดœ ส™แด‡แด›แด›แด‡ส€ sสœแดœแด› สแดแดœส€ แดแดแดœแด›สœ แดส€ ษชแด แด„แด€สŸสŸษชษดษข แดแด‡ สœแดแดแด‡ส™แดสs ส€ษชแด›แด‡ ษดแดแดก แด˜ส€แด‡แด˜แด€ส€ษชษด า“แดส€ แด€ แด˜ส€แดแด˜แด‡ส€ ส€แดœแดส™สŸแด‡. แด›สœแด€ ส€แดœแดส™สŸแด‡ แด›สœแด€แด›สŸสŸ แดแด€แด‹แด‡ สแดแดœส€ ษดแด€ษด sแดส€แด‡ แดŠแดœs สœแด‡แด€ส€ษชษด ส™แดแดœแด› ษชแด›. สแด‡ส€ ษชษด แด˜ส€แดแด˜แด‡ส€ แดแด‡ss สแด€ ษดแดส™ สœแด‡แด€แด….
twitch chat
July 2014
Kripp

Investing in gourd futures

Due to local fluctuations in the tropopause, the jet stream has been shifting rapidly in a counterclockwise vector, causing a rapid disincorporation of the Hadley vortex cells in the lower ionosphere. Because of this, the geostrophic solar wind balance has deteriorated rapidly in the northern hemisphere. In essence, autumnal weather patterns in the western United States will lead to the biggest ornamental gourd yield in recorded history. Investing in gourd agricultural futures could likely produce up to $1600 per day in passive income. However, investing at the apex of the curve would be the most conducive to profit as the arbitrage (particularly 12b-1 fees) will develop at a market share higher than the back-end load. Basically, no one will be able to buy the stock at a higher price than you, and all value invested will be retained. A preliminary market penetration investment of $50,000 would be most efficient in generating this revenue.
January 2021

WallStreetBets

More Copypastas
Text-to-Speech Playing