[Copypasta] Every time I see Tifa punch someone I get a little sadder

twitchquotes: Every time I see Tifa punch someone I get a little sadder, because tha tis one less punch that could have been directed at my nutsack. I pray at night for Tifa to break into my house and mercilessly beat the everloving fuck out of my balls. I will pray extra hard tonight.
twitch chat
April 2020
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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This is Papa Donger

twitchquotes: ༼ᴥل͟ᴥ ༽ᴛʜɪs ɪs ᴩᴀᴩᴀ ᴅᴏɴɢᴇʀ. ʜᴇ ᴅɪᴇᴅ ɪɴ ᴀ ᴛᴇʀʀɪʙʟᴇ ᴀᴄᴄɪᴅᴇɴᴛ 5 ʏᴇᴀʀs ᴀɢᴏ. ᴛʜᴇ ᴛʜɪɴɢ ɪs, ᴛʜᴇʏ ɴᴇᴠᴇʀ ᴍᴀɴᴀɢᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ᴄʟᴏsᴇ ʜɪs ᴇʏᴇs ᴀFᴛᴇʀ ᴅʏɪɴɢ. ʜᴇ ｉｓ ᴡᴀᴛᴄʜɪɴɢ ʏᴏᴜ. ɪF ʏᴏᴜ ᴅᴏɴᴛ ᴄᴏᴩʏᴩᴀsᴛᴇ ᴛʜɪs 5 ᴛɪᴍᴇs ʜᴇ ｗｉｌｌ sᴛᴇᴀʟ ʏᴏᴜʀ ʙᴀɢ ᴏF ᴅᴏɴɢᴇʀs ᴀɴᴅ ᴋɪʟʟ ʏᴏᴜ. ༼ᴥل͟ᴥ ༽
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp

Hello there, Octavian! This is Kurt McGriff

twitchquotes: Hello there, Octavian! This is Kurt McGriff, executive producer for the Food Channel. We have reviewed your recent application to be a host of your own TV show on our network titled, "Salty Vegan Eats - A Pro Gamer's Way of Life" However, after further reviewing your claim of being an "extremely popular professional gamer" we found the evidence lacking. Mr. Octavian, casually playing a children's card game does not make you a "pro gamer." Have a nice day and good luck to your future endeavors.
twitch chat
July 2017
Kripp

salty

As Quinn finished her drink, she was overcome with sadness

twitchquotes: As Quinn finished her drink, she was overcome with sadness. "Valor, I get this feeling that QT won't ever play with us again." The bartender turned around. "Here's a drink on the house," said Urgot. "I know the feeling."
twitch chat
July 2015
imaqtpie

League of Legends

Dave’s Hot ‘N Juicy 1/4lb Single

twitchquotes: My god, I would kill someone for a Dave’s Hot ‘N Juicy 1/4lb Single right about now. I mean that bakery bun, coupled with that sexy melted American cheese, the kick of those red onions, and the salty, seasoned square of beef that is always fresh and never frozen cannot be topped anywhere. Every time I bite into a Wendy’s burger, it’s like it’s making love to my tastebuds. I don’t even like eating fast food; unless it’s Wendy’s.
twitch chat
April 2019
NairoMK

Fairy tale of Reynard and Lea

twitchquotes: Let me tell you the fairy tale of Reynard and Lea. Once there was a magical salt-shaker named Reynard. He lived in a magical kitchen where the princess Lea would make sandwiches. One day Lea shook Reynard too hard and he broke, spilling salt everywhere. BibleThump
twitch chat
November 2014
Reynad
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