[Copypasta] Every time I see Tifa punch someone I get a little sadder

twitchquotes: Every time I see Tifa punch someone I get a little sadder, because tha tis one less punch that could have been directed at my nutsack. I pray at night for Tifa to break into my house and mercilessly beat the everloving fuck out of my balls. I will pray extra hard tonight.
twitch chat
April 2020
What happened to this ad? :(
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Same

twitchquotes: The time was 1:53 AM. This is the last game of my plat promos. The season will end in 7 minutes. We're down by bot turret with our team as we push our lead. I see Scott rolling in as Rammus, traveling at a speed that would put Sonic himself to shame. His words echo through my $5 earbuds. "I'M GOING IN!" I pause to take in the world around me. I can do anything right now. Physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual limits no longer apply to me. I gather the strength in my forefinger as I slowly lift it over my R key. I say...no, I yell, with the ferocity of a million suns, the single word that could be heard around the world. "Same!" Galio prepares himself before leaping into the air, and delivering a devastating blow to the enemies' backline. We did it. The enemy team retreats back into their low elo. I was platinum. With a farewell to Scott for his outstanding work, I drag myself to my bed, ready to fall asleep. My phone chimes. Checking the notifications, I saw only one. A text from Clown9 Sneaky. The message brought a tear to my eye. The message simply read: β€œI’m proud of you.” Now very emotional, I typed a reply. "Same."
twitch chat
July 2020
Sneaky

League of Legends

Morbius is love. Morbius is life.

I was only nine years old. I loved Morbius so much, I had all the merchandise and movies. I'd pray to Morbius every night before I go to bed, thanking for the life I've been given. "Morbius is love", I would say, β€œMorbius is life". My dad hears me and calls me a faggot. I knew he was just jealous for my devotion of Morbius. I called him a cunt. He slaps me and sends me to go to sleep. I'm crying now and my face hurts. I lay in bed and it's really cold. A warmth is moving towards me. I feel something touch me. It's Morbius. I'm so happy. He whispers in my ear, β€œIt’s morbin time". He grabs me with his powerful morby hands, and puts me on my hands and knees. I spread my ass-cheeks for Morbius. He penetrates my butthole. It hurts so much, but I do it for Morbius. I can feel my butt tearing as my eyes start to water. I push against his force. I want to please Morbius. He roars a mighty roar, as he fills my butt with his love. My dad walks in. Morbius looks him straight in the eye, and says, "Get morbed". Morbius leaves through my window. Morbius is love. Morbius is life.
June 2022

Morbius

Awooga Awooga

twitchquotes: *jaw drops to floor, eyes pop out of sockets accompanied by trumpets, heart beats out of chest, awooga awooga sound effect, pulls chain on train whistle that has appeared next to head as steam blows out, slams fists on table, rattling any plates, bowls or silverware, whistles loudly, fireworks shoot from top of head, pants loudly as tongue hangs out of mouth, wipes comically large bead of sweat from forehead, clears throat, straightens tie, combs hair* Ahem, you look very lovely.
twitch chat
February 2020

President's Day Emoji Pasta PresiDICK's Day

Happy PresiDICK’S πŸ†πŸŒπŸŒ½ DAY‼️ Time ⏰⏰ to honor the DADDIES πŸ‘¬πŸ‘¬ of our nation πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡ΈπŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Έ George SLUTsington πŸ‘―πŸ‘―, Benjamin SPANKlinπŸ‘‹πŸ‘, John HanCOCK πŸ†πŸŒ½πŸ’¦πŸ’¦πŸ’¦ These POUNDING πŸ”¨βš’ fathers ERECTED ⬆️⬆️ their πŸ˜»πŸ“ƒCUNTstitutional dongs 😍🍌for LADY LIBERTY πŸ—½πŸ‘…πŸ™€ Raise that ASS πŸ‘ to πŸ’¦πŸ’¦ Abraham LinCUM πŸ’¦πŸ’¦, 🌲 WOODrow Wilson πŸ˜πŸŒ²πŸ˜‰, Bill CLIT-on πŸ‘ŒπŸ‘ˆ, and the CUMmander in chief, πŸ‘¦πŸ†πŸ‘€BarCOCK Obama πŸ‘¦πŸ†πŸ‘€ Don’t forget Dwight D. EisenWHORE πŸ‘€πŸ˜© DICKlared war πŸ”«πŸ’£ on those CUMMIES πŸ’¦πŸ’‚πŸ’‚ Share in ♋️ SUCKonds or you won’t be pounding πŸ”¨that presidential PUSSY πŸ™€πŸ™€ Get 5️⃣ back and ur a White House HOE 🏠 Get πŸ”Ÿ back and ur the SUCKretary of state πŸ“”πŸ˜™πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Έ Get 20 back and the First Lady will make u moan πŸ˜©πŸ˜©πŸ’¦πŸ’¦πŸ’¦πŸ’¦πŸ’¦ HAPPY JIZZIDENT’S DAY!! Hail to the CHEEKS πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘
February 2024

President's Day

Emoji Pasta

Holiday Emoji

I was only 14 years old I loved xQc so much

I was only 14 years old I loved xQc so much, I had all the merchandise and VODS. I pray to xQc every night, thanking him for the life I've been given. "xQc is love" I say "xQc is life" My dad hears me and calls me a Juicer. I knew he was jealous of my devotion to xQc. I called him baj He hits me and sends me to sleep I'm crying now and my face hurts. I lay in bed, really cold. I feel something warm... Its xQc! I was so happy. He whispers in my ear "This is my jungle" He grabs me with his hands, and puts me on my hands and knees. I'm ready. I spread my ass cheeks for xQc. He penetrates my butthole. It hurts so much, but I do it for xQc. I can feel my butt tearing and eyes watering. I want to please xQc. He roars a mighty roar as he fills my butt with the juice. My dad walks in. xQc looks him straight in the eye and says, He got the Juice now. xQc leaves through my window. xQc is love. xQc is life.
January 2022
xQcOW
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