[Copypasta] Every time I see Tifa punch someone I get a little sadder

twitchquotes: Every time I see Tifa punch someone I get a little sadder, because tha tis one less punch that could have been directed at my nutsack. I pray at night for Tifa to break into my house and mercilessly beat the everloving fuck out of my balls. I will pray extra hard tonight.
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April 2020
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Nice opinion, but it's wrong

Nice opinion, just one tiny problem with it. Inspecting your post, it looks like your opinion is different from mine. Let me tell you something, I am the baseline for opinions. Any opinion I hold is objectively correct and as a result, any other opinions are wrong. Guess what? You happen to hold the wrong one! I hope you know that your opinion is now illegal. I have contacted the FBI, CIA, the NSA, the navy seals, secret service, and your mom. You'll be sorry you ever shared your opinions, by the time you're reading this, you'll be done for. Nature will punish you. Humanity will punish you. supernatural beings will punish you. Space will punish you. We decided just to make sure we'll nuke your house from orbit. So there's no chance you can run away, everyone will know you will die. It's a small price to pay, to remove your wrong opinion from this world.
January 2022

A chef explaining why air fryers are a scam on r/unpopularopinion

As a chef, it’s an insult to hear “air fryers are as good as frying”. Air fryers are fucking bullshit scams and are just convection ovens with an extra fan added. Seriously, pan searing or regular baking will always be better. I swear to shit Jared if I hear you compare fried chicken to air fried chicken one more time I’m gonna smack the gob out of you. Edit: I’m in danger, I never realized how deep the air fryer fandom goes. I will die on this hill Edit2: I’ll never stop upvoting and loving you all but… but I’m just gonna go cry about something totally different.. Edit3: i think id be a lot less upset if it was called an “extra air oven” as its a convection oven with extra fans. Edit4: if I had a dollar for every comment “you clearly don’t own an air fryer” I’d be able to put it towards a new toaster oven. Edit5: the chances of getting doxxed over kitchen appliances isn’t high.. but never zero. Edit6: apparently air fryers are taking my job? Sorry boys and girls, no more foi gras for the rich.
November 2021

Cybrix and the Head Chef of Dominos

twitchquotes: Ｈｅｌｌｏ　Ｃｙｂｒｉｘ，　ｔｈｉｓ　ｉｓ　ｔｈｅ　Ｈｅａｄ　Ｃｈｅｆ　ｏｆ　Ｄｏｍｉｎｏｓ™　ｗｅ　ｈａｖｅ　ｎｏｔｉｃｅｄ　ｙｏｕ　ｈａｖｅｎ’ｔ　ｏｒｄｅｒｅｄ　ｆｏｒ　２　ｄａｙｓ，　ｗｅ’ｒｅ　ｊｕｓｔ　ｃｈｅｃｋｉｎｇ　ｔｏ　ｓｅｅ　ｉｆ　ｅｖｅｒｙｔｈｉｎｇ　ｉｓ　ｏｋａｙ　ａｎｄ　ｗｅ’ｖｅ　ｐｒｅｐａｒｅｄ　ｙｏｕ　ａ　ｃｏｍｐｌｅｍｅｎｔａｒｙ　ｐｉｚｚａ　ｏｆ　ｙｏｕｒ　ｆａｖｏｕｒｉｔｅ　ｔｙｐｅ　（ＸＸＬ　ａｌｌ－ｔｏｐｐｉｎｇｓ　ｐｉｚｚａ－ｔｏｐｐｅｄ　ｐｉｚｚａ　ｐｉｚｚａ－ｓｔｕｆｆｅｄ　ｐｉｚｚａ　ｃｒｕｓｔ）．　Ｓｅｅ　ｙｏｕ　ｓｏｏｎ！
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July 2014
Kripp

I thought my parents were rap battling

Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck mann fick fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck My parents were fighting and I thought they were rap battling so I came in and started beatboxing. Fuck fuck fuck why am I such an idiot fuck fuck fuck
February 2021

NA, aka 'No Achievements'

twitchquotes: NA, aka 'No Achievements' is the weakest region in the professional League of Legends scene. They are specifically known for their clown fiestas and never winning anything worthwhile in the history of League of Legends.
twitch chat
November 2019
Riot Games

League of Legends

EU vs NA

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