[Copypasta] 69 is so funny

twitchquotes: 69 is so funny. Whenever I hear it, I just burst out laughing. I run out into the living room and grab the Tv remote. I start flicking through the channels. “You guys, it’s so funny, you’ll laugh so hard!” I can barely get it out as I’m laughing so hard, banging the table and snickering while I flick through the TV channels. I finally get to The CW, and the number 69 is on the bottom right-hand corner of the screen! My family and friends who were over all stand up in tremendous applause, and my wife and children come back from upstate to be with my comedic genius!
twitch chat
April 2020
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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Why won't my sister french kiss me?

Why won't my sister french kiss me? I have a date this weekend and I have never kissed a girl. Anyways I asked my sister nicely if shed let me practice french kissing with her. She slapped me and locked herself in her room. I screamed that she was the only girl I could practice with and she was being selfish. She got scared and called the cops. Plus she told her boyfriend and he wants to kick my ass. WTF is wrong with my sister. I hate her so much
July 2022

Confessions

No, you are not a “Man of Culture”

No, you are not a “Man of Culture”. You are a 19 year old who has no romantic partner because you have a chronic addiction to anime porn where the characters dont look or sound any older than 13, seriously, the stuff you are watching should be illegal. Getting off to fictional drawings of ambiguous age THREE times a day is not even remotely cultured, it just makes you a sex-addicted pedophile. What’s gotten into you? You’re better than this.
August 2021

Torture dance 4

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣠⣶⣶⣤⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡞⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢃⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢈⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣷⣦⣀⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⢉⣻⣿⡇⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⣿⣿⡉⣀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣋⣴⣿⠟⠋⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣮⡠⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⢰⣾⣿⣿⡿⠿⠛⠛⠛⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣆⡀⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠹⣿⣿⣦⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢉⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠂ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⢿⣿⣇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣴⣾⣿⡿⠟⠉⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠂⢿⣿⣥⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣠⣶⣿⣿⠟⠋⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣤⣾⣿⣿⣷⣿⣃⡀⢴⣿⣿⡿⣿⣍⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠄⠄⠄⠉⠙⠛⠛⠛⠛⠂⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
ascii art
April 2019

JoJo's Bizarre Adventure Torture Dance

JoJo's Bizarre Adventure

Kangaroos vs Uruguayans

This does not change the fact that in Australia there are 48 million kangaroos and in Uruguay there are 3,457,380 inhabitants. So if the kangaroos decide to invade Uruguay, each Uruguayan will have to fight 14 kangaroos...
October 2021

Todd Howard Fallout 76 announcement

twitchquotes: Hey, gamers. It's me, Todd Howard with an important announcement. Fallout 76 was all an early April Fools' joke. To help us release the REAL game, Fallout: New Vegas 2, all I need is your credit card number, the expiration month and year, and the three digits on the back.
twitch chat
November 2018
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