[Copypasta] 69 is so funny

twitchquotes: 69 is so funny. Whenever I hear it, I just burst out laughing. I run out into the living room and grab the Tv remote. I start flicking through the channels. “You guys, it’s so funny, you’ll laugh so hard!” I can barely get it out as I’m laughing so hard, banging the table and snickering while I flick through the TV channels. I finally get to The CW, and the number 69 is on the bottom right-hand corner of the screen! My family and friends who were over all stand up in tremendous applause, and my wife and children come back from upstate to be with my comedic genius!
twitch chat
April 2020
Waiting for adblock to be disabled
More Copypastas

Only the saltiest EU fan can hold both cans

twitchquotes: PJSalt __ PJSalt only the saltiest EU fan can hold both cans ⎝ Kappa ⎠
twitch chat
May 2016
Sneaky

Obi Wan Shapiro

Okay, so let’s say hypothetically, these weren’t the droids you’re looking for. You see, the droids you’re looking for have the Death Star plans, correct? However, as those droid are close minded liberals, and these droids are free thinking informed conservatives, these would not be the droids you’re looking for. Now, if you were to assume that these droids are the droids you’re looking for because they are a protocol droid and an astromech, then that would actually make you the real racists, as you would assume that all astromech droids have the death star plans. So if this were true, these aren’t the droid you’re looking for.
December 2020

Ben Shapiro

You can't stop what's coming leafboy

You can't stop what's coming leafboy. I walk all over leaves every autumn, you think this year will be any different? Your flag is a fucking leaf. You chose the one part of the tree that dies every year. Not only that, but it's one of hundreds of leaves, thousands if it's a big tree. All dead come winter. Every winter. A vicious cycle. Totally insignificant. As soon as the tree has had it's way with you you are cast to the Earth to be trod by all other living things. Ants? They not only stomp about you, they will steal your corpse and use it for their people. Birds steal your lifeless shell with impunity. Leaves not only die once, but every year. A brave man dies only once, but leaves die a thousand deaths, or at least 20 or 30 if the tree lives that long. Perhaps more. Every year, leafs crunch beneath my boot. This year shall be no different. So it shall be written. So it shall be done. The day of the rake is at hand because every day is the day of the rake and has always been.
January 2021

Facestone

twitchquotes: Important message from Blizzard® Customer Support: We recently renamed Hearthstone® to Facestone®. Please make sure not to use Hearthstone®, Skillstone® or RNGStone® since these names are obsolete. Thank you.
twitch chat
March 2015
Forsen

Kripp's salt

▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▄▄██████▄▒▒▒▒▒ ▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▄▄████████████▄▒▒▒ ▒▒▒▒▒▒▄▄██████████████████▒▒ ▒▒▒▄███▌█▐▌▄▀▌▐▌▄▐▌▄▐▌█▀▀██▒ ▒▒▐▀███▌▄▀▌▀▄▌▐▌▄█▌▄██▌▀▀██▌ ▒▒█▒▒▀█▌█▌▌▐▐▌▐▌██▌████▀▀▐██ ▒▒█▒▒▒▒███▀▀▀█▀█▀█▀▀▀▀█████▌ ▒▒▒▌▒▒▒▒██▌▀█▌▀▐▌██▌▐█████▀▒ ▒▒▒▀▄▓▓▓▒█▀▀▐▐█▌▌▀█▌▐██▀▀▒▒▒ ▒▒▒▒▀░▓▓▒▐█████████▀▀▒▒▒▒▒▒▒ ▒▒▒▒▒░░▒▒▐█████▀▀▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒ ▒▒░░░░░▀▀▀▀▀▀▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒ ▒▒▒░░░░░░░░▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒
ascii art
November 2014
Kripp
More Copypastas
Text-to-Speech Playing