[Copypasta] Don't pretend to be entitled to financial compensation...

Don't👏 pretend👏 to 👏be 👏entitled👏 to👏 financial👏 compensation👏 if 👏you 👏or👏 a👏 loved 👏one 👏hasn't👏 even 👏been 👏diagnosed👏 with 👏mesothelioma
February 2020
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

I am Bamalama Shmamahdu, from the Congo

twitchquotes: Hey Reynad, I am Bamalama Shmamahdu, from the Congo. We regret to inform you that your shipment of child solders may be a bit late this month due to a shipping error. We are very sorry for this inconvenience, and you will receive AIDS, free of charge as our way of saying sorry.
twitch chat
January 2015
Reynad

Y U NO 2

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⠤⠴⠶⠒⠒⠒⠒⠒⠤⠤⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡴⠚⠉⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠠⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠉⢙⠲⣤⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡠⠚⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⠀⠈⡆⠈⡀⠀⠉⠓⢤⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡞⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠃⠀⠘⠀⡠⠀⢀⠀⠀⠈⠳⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠀⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢦⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⠀⠀⢍⠢⠑⣦⣀⠀⠡⡄⠀⠀⠀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢷⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡎⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠀⢾⡗⡀⠁⠀⢘⣀⠀⢀⠀⡐⡞⢉⣀⢀⡀⠀⠀⠈⢧⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠐⠆⠀⠁⠄⠃⠉⠄⠀⠀⠈⠀⠈⢀⣤⡌⠀⠀⠀⠘⡇⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠀⠉⠁⠀⢀⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢂⠀⠀⠉⠅⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠉⠀⠀⠐⡦⠄⠀⠀⠀⠠⢂⠀⠒⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡄ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠉⠃⠀⠀⢌⠆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠁ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠂⠀⠈⠑⡄⠀⠀⢀⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣤⣴⠆⠀⠘⠓⠶⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡜⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠝⠁⠠⠄⢤⣄⡈⠶⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠃⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⢀⣈⣄⡐⠠⢄⢂⣤⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⠚⠉⠋⢋⡋⢷⠤⡎⠛⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⠏⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣳⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⠄⠀⠀⠘⠀⠀⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡔⠁⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡴⠛⠁⠈⠛⢦⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠂⢀⡀⠈⠀⠁⠁⠒⠂⠀⠊⢃⠀⠀⢀⡴⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠔⠋⠀⠐⢦⡀⠀⠀⠈⠙⠲⢦⣄⣀⡠⠈⠀⠀⠈⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⡼⠞⠛⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠔⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⢦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠉⠉⠒⠒⠒⣲⠖⠒⠒⠒⠚⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡠⠊⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠑⢄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠔⠙⠦⡀⠀⠀⠀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢱⠄⣜⡰⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡜⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠳⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⠊⠀⠀⠀⢈⡢⣤⢤⣇⡤⠀⠀⠀⢀⠔⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢀⡜⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠳⣄⣠⠤⠄⡴⠓⠒⠒⠂⠉⠁⠀⠈⠣⡈⠁⣈⠄⠊⠁
January 2021

I hate that guy's emotes so much

twitchquotes: I hate that guy's emotes so much. They all look like some 6 year old made them in MS Paint, and I'm not talking about the purposefully bad ones. And all they do is portray emotions already done by the default emotes; The best custom emotes are ones that do things you can't easily do with the defaults. And the insufferable people who use those emotes find any reason to use any of them, even if they're not related, because they're that proud of a 4.99 purchase. I'd rather sub to a guy I liked watc
twitch chat
September 2017
MOONMOON

Greggnog

First off: I am not joking. I wish I was joking. I've been with my wonderful boyfriend Greg for over 4 years now, and this Christmas was our third spent together. He's so much fun to be around, handsome, charming, and our sex life is great. Except for one small problem. Every year now starting in December he starts referring to his cum as "Greggnog." When I first heard him say this, it was in the context of a joke, so I laughed, and then I forgot about it. A few days after this, we're exchanging some spicy texts before he gets home from work he says to me, in all seriousness, "I can't wait to pour Greggnog all over your face." I could not believe he just said that to me, but I didn't know what else to do at the time but go along with it. Fast forward to this December. This phrase re-enters his vocabulary at the same time every year. It makes me cringe beyond belief, but until this year he used it sparingly enough for me to just be able to laugh and say "shut the fuck up." I'm sure that 2020 has done at least some irreparable psychic damage to all people, but unfortunately, for my boyfriend, this has manifested in the form of him referring to his cum as "Greggnog" non-stop. This month he has been using the term almost exclusively, in all contexts, and it is driving me batshit insane. I sat him down to talk last week, and I asked him very clearly and directly to stop. At the time, he said he would, and it did slow down for a few days, but it is now four days after Christmas and he's back at it again with no end in sight. He absolutely means the world to me, and I saw myself spending the rest of my life with him, but I have serious doubts now whether or not I can if every Christmas is going to be like this. So please, reddit, what do I do to make this stop for good?
December 2020

Classic

Yeah I'm a virgin, so what?

Yeah I'm a virgin, so what? I'm waiting for the "right one", there's nothing wrong with that. Just because I'm 36 doesn't make it "weird" or make me a "loser". I have standards. I'm not going to give away my state of chastity to some bar/club "whore"; that's just not the kind of guy I am. I require a REAL women that will hold and care for me gently, and who can, above all else, love me for who I am. Once I find that person, I'll happily donate my virginity away. Until then, I am fine being a virgin. Besides, I have a fleshlight, so it's not like I don't know how it feels anyway. Maybe one day you immature keyboard cretins will understand that life isn't about just having sex for the accomplishment, it's about love and finding the "one" to share that experience with.
September 2021
Text-to-Speech Playing