[Copypasta] i have not been gifted a single sub

twitchquotes: Hey streamer, i just wanted to express my disappointment in your community with this message. I have been a active viewer for the past couple of years and despite my constant effort i have not been gifted a single sub by your community. You should really be ashamed.
twitch chat
February 2020
I used to be a real ad
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Competitive Super Smash Bros Melee has reached its zenith

twitchquotes: The year is 20XX. Competitive Super Smash Bros Melee has reached its zenith. No longer are matches decided through complex inputs and tactics. It began when some questioned the idea of matchups against characters. The community realized that gameplay no longer mattered, and only the character. Tournaments became complex games of rock-paper-scissors, and eventually another epiphany was had. Why bother with deciding afterwards and wasting time when the match could be decided before it began? Thus, referees decided who won and who lost automatically using a combination of facial recognition AI, mandatory reflex tests, and standardized quizzes and tests on military tactics and stratagem. With time, tests weren't even needed. Judges became so acute at deciding who won and who lost that tournaments happened in seconds, and results uploaded in less. The final destination was reached. Babies were bred and engineered to become the most desirable "players", if one could call it that. Soon, humanity ceased to think, and became mindless slaves to the autonomous ones and zeroes that decided their worth, ironically becoming the machines they once played with.
twitch chat
May 2020

Super Smash Bros

Putin should start an OnlyFans to save the Russian economy

Think about it. The Russian economy is in shambles. All assets frozen, there's no money coming in. But if he just spread that hiney for some people who would like it then why not? With a couple butt spread pictures maybe a ruble can be worth more than a potato again. Here are some content ideas that I suggest: Wanking Videos (pretty basic, these are the cheapest ones cuz his dick🍆 is like 1 cm🥜) Body Worship Videos (kinda hot ngl 😳😌😰, all his dick sucking oligarchs oil his body and touch him in ways he never thought possible👉👌👋🤛) Sanction Bukkake (a livestream where in a dick cums on his face every time he gets a sanction🍆🍆🍆🍆🍆🍆💦💦💦💦💦💦💦) Lukashenko Sex Tapes (these are pretty expensive, a collection of Vladdy Daddy and Lukashenskank cumming with every position in the Kamasutra💃🕺♋🏇🐕) Nuke-In-Crack Challenge (the most expensive one! This is where he fills his hole with the invaluable Russian crude oil and tries to fit a Nuclear Warhead up his ass! ⛽☢️🍑🎆) What u guys think?
March 2022

Russian Ukrainian War

EU COMING THROUGH v2

twitchquotes: EU COMING THROUGH LUL TRY AND EXTERMINATE A GROUP OF PEOPLE LUL NEEDS AMERICA TO SAVE THEM LUL STILL HAS A ROYAL FAMILY LUL SOCIALISTS LUL NO FREE SPEECH LUL MARRY 16 YEAR OLDS LUL STABBINGS IN EU LUL
twitch chat
March 2019

Classic

EU vs NA

Greek Prime Minister Georgios Pastopoulos

twitchquotes: Hello Kripp, this is Greek Prime Minister Georgios Pastopoulos, since you left our exports of 'BROFISTS' have dropped to 0 and the economy is in shambles. What little food we can afford is used to feed a sad betrayed cat we found. Please come back.
twitch chat
July 2015
Kripp

I need you Kripp, love Trump

twitchquotes: Kʀɪᴘᴘ, ʏᴏᴜ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ɴᴏᴛ ɢɪᴠᴇɴ ᴍᴇ ʏᴏᴜʀ sᴏғᴛ, ᴛᴇɴᴅᴇʀ, ʟᴏᴠɪɴɢ ɪɴ sᴏ ʟᴏɴɢ.... Yᴏᴜ ᴜsᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ᴛᴏᴜᴄʜ ᴍᴇ ɪɴ ᴡᴀʏs ɴᴏ ᴏɴᴇ ᴇʟsᴇ ᴄᴀɴ. Tʜᴇ ᴛʜɪɴɢs ʏᴏᴜ ᴄᴏᴜʟᴅ ᴍᴀᴋᴇ ᴍᴇ ғᴇᴇʟ I ᴊᴜsᴛ Kreygasm... ɪ ɴᴇᴇᴅ ʏᴏᴜ ᴋʀɪᴘᴘ. Sᴏᴍᴇᴛɪᴍᴇs ɪ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴛᴏ ɪᴍᴀɢɪɴᴇ ʀᴇᴄᴇɪᴠɪɴɢ ʟᴏᴠᴇ ᴊᴜsᴛ ᴛᴏ ǫᴜᴇʟʟ ᴛʜᴇ ᴜʀɢᴇs. ɪ ɴᴇᴇᴅ ʏᴏᴜ ɪɴsɪᴅᴇ ᴋʀɪᴘᴘ, ʟᴏᴠᴇ ᴛʀᴜᴍᴘ
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp
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