[Copypasta] i have not been gifted a single sub

twitchquotes: Hey streamer, i just wanted to express my disappointment in your community with this message. I have been a active viewer for the past couple of years and despite my constant effort i have not been gifted a single sub by your community. You should really be ashamed.
twitch chat
February 2020
I used to be a real ad
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Your social credit score has increased

中华人民共和国寄语] Great work, Citizen! Your social credit score has increased by [5] Integers. Keep up the good work! [ 中华人民共和国寄语] [ 中华人民共和国寄语] Great work, Citizen! Your social credit score has increased by [100] Integers. You can now have priority transport and can now get into prestigious colleges! Keep up the good work! [ 中华人民共和国寄语] [ 中华人民共和国寄语] Great work, Citzen! Your social credit score has increased by [500] Integers. You can now take up official, government job, where we pay you high salary, unlike America. Keep up the good work! [ 中华人民共和国寄语] [ 中华人民共和国寄语] Great work, Citizen! Your social credit score has increased by [1000] Integers. We will ensure you get great salary, good benefits, and good social standing, no matter the means. Keep up the good work! [ 中华人民共和国寄语]Copied! [ 中华人民共和国寄语] Great work, Celebrity! Your social credit score has increased by [5000] Integers. You will be famous across mainland of China, for what you are currently doing. We will make you celebrity, and even better salary. Keep up the good work! [ 中华人民共和国寄语] [ 中华人民共和国寄语] Great work, Celebrity! Your social credit score has increased by [10000] Integers. Xi Jinping would like to meet you personally at Zhongnanhai to encourage your good work. I am sure you notice that you have gained lot of dislike recently. Do not worry. We will send re-education vans to make sure your figure is in good graces. Keep up the good work! [ 中华人民共和国寄语]
October 2021

spamming copypastas is the worst form of comedy

twitchquotes: Honestly, spamming copypastas is the worst form of comedy to exist on this planet. Instead of original jokes, we just have repetitive trash. As a stand up comedian, I spend hours on my craft making sure I make original jokes. I always leave the comedy club with the hottest bros. Maybe you copypasta people can learn something from me.
twitch chat
October 2020

I hate Among Us

I can't fucking take it. I see an image of a random object posted and then I see it, I fucking see it. "Oh that looks kinda like the among us guy" it started as. That's funny, that's a cool reference. But I kept going, I'd see a fridge that looked like among us, I'd see an animated bag of chips that looked like among us, I'd see a hat that looked like among us. And every time I'd burst into an insane, breath deprived laugh staring at the image as the words AMOGUS ran through my head. It's torment, psychological torture, I am being conditioned to laugh maniacly any time I see an oval on a red object. I can't fucking live like this... I can't I can't I can't I can't I can't! And don't get me fucking started on the words! I'll never hear the word suspicious again without thinking of among us. Someone does something bad and I can't say anything other than "sus." I could watch a man murder everyone I love and all I would be able to say is "red sus" and laugh like a fucking insane person. And the word "among" is ruined. The phrase "among us" is ruined. I can't live anymore. Among us has destroyed my fucking life. I want to eject myself from this plane of existence. MAKE IT STOP!
February 2021

Among Us / Amogus

BAN ONE FROG GET THE WHOLE POND

twitchquotes: BAN FeelsGoodMan ONE FeelsGoodMan FROG FeelsGoodMan GET FeelsGoodMan THE FeelsGoodMan WHOLE FeelsGoodMan POND
twitch chat
March 2018

Ban X Get The Whole Y

My son, why did you tap last?

twitchquotes: In Romanian village there is very little water. Papparian is thirsty and asks Kripparian to get some water for him from the water tap 2 miles away. Kripp decides to go to the store first. A few hours later Kripp brings Papparian his water, only to find Papparian has had a heat stroke. With his dying breath, Papparian asks "My son, why did you tap last?"
twitch chat
February 2016
Kripp

Hearthstone

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