[Copypasta] This guy's pasta is CRAZY!

twitchquotes: ☑ This guy's pasta is CRAZY!” ☑ “My rigatoni can't win against a linguini like that” ☑ "He NEEDED that alfredo to win" ☑ “He meatballed the only marinara that could beat me” ☑ "He had the perfect fettucini ☑ “There was nothing I could cook” ☑ “I cooked that al dente”
twitch chat
August 2014
I used to be a real ad
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Homer mmmm

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠛⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢁⠒⠀⢀⡔⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⢹⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⠀⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠟⠛⠛⠓⢄⡀⠀⢂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⡀⡌⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⢁⠄⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠢⡄⠁⠀⢀⣀⠀⠘⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⠀⣠⣾⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⡂⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⠀⠀⠈⠢⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡠⠔⡞⣡⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡠⠈⢦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠱⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢄⣾⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⢢⣿⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⢐⠀⠀⡀⢐⠆⣹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⣿⣿⣿⣄⡄⠀⠈⠀⠀⠁⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡁⢘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⢀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡸⣿⣿⠏⠻⠟⠀⡌⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⡋⠀⠀⠀⠠⠐⠉⠀⠀⢀⠨⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠀⠆⠀⠀⠀⡀⠄⠀⠀⠈⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠀⠀⢠⠀⠀⠈⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠛⠛⠻⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡿⠛⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠀⠀⠀⠀⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⢿⣿ ⣿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢻
ascii art
July 2019

I hate JoJo

I fucking hate JoJo. Every subreddit I go through has a vermin-like underclass of JoJo fanboys. They all just have to say “iS THat A JOJo ReFErEncE??!!!1” on every fucking post that contains a single word that may have been used in the shitty comics. Oh, a suspicious link? Probably a rickroll. NOPE!!! They’ve ruined that, too! One of the oldest goddamn internet traditions shat on and ruined by JoJo fanboys. Thunder Cross Split Attack! So fucking funny, right? I’m wheezing! NO. SHUT THE FUCK UP. Nobody cares about your shitty comic series. Dio is a stupid character from a stupid comic series. I downvote every post and comment that mentions JoJo, out of pure bloodcurdling rage. I want to detonate a MASSIVE thermonuclear warhead right on top of whatever godforsaken studio publishes that stinking-pile-of-trash comic. Frankly, I don’t even care for the civilian casualties, either. At least they died for a good reason. Unlike JoJo fans, I actually contribute to the betterment of mankind, instead of spamming shitty references on the internet. Every JoJo fan that dies a slow, painful death is a win in my book. I have claimed over a dozen of them already, too. I annihilated their skulls with my fists. Their stupid ice attack didn’t do shit for them either. They dies like they lived, pathetic excuses for humans. I hope more people hear my message and declare war on JoJo. If nobody helps me, I will do as much damage as I possibly can before I die. Thank you.
February 2021

JoJo's Bizarre Adventure

A physicist called Octavian

twitchquotes: The year is 2027. A physicist called Octavian has created the first inter-dimensional portal capable of exploring alternate galaxies. "Finally, I have done it..." he says as he steps into the portal. He enters a room where he sees himself giving a "Brofist" to his computer. His only reaction: " FailFish ".
twitch chat
April 2015
Kripp

Mr. Morosan, remove this wooden triangle

twitchquotes: There is one sign the Kripparrian can make that would be unmistakable, that would advance dramatically the cause of freedom and peace. General Secretary Morosan, if you seek peace, if you seek prosperity for Twitch and Youtube, if you seek liberalization, come here to this wooden triangle. Mr. Morosan, remove this wooden triangle. Mr. Morosan, tear down this wall!
twitch chat
September 2016
Kripp

Being a hentai actress must be so weird

Being a hentai actress must be so weird. Imagine this: you’re in a soundproof room pleasurably screaming into an 800,000¥ microphone about how much you love old man dick at 10:47 AM on a Tuesday in October while your 45-year-old boss oversees you through a glass window from the other room. You eventually look up after 2 hours of practicing your unnaturally high-pitched moans and see him give you a big thumbs up as you pretend to have an orgasm.
May 2021

Weebs

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