[Copypasta] This guy's pasta is CRAZY!

twitchquotes: ☑ This guy's pasta is CRAZY!” ☑ “My rigatoni can't win against a linguini like that” ☑ "He NEEDED that alfredo to win" ☑ “He meatballed the only marinara that could beat me” ☑ "He had the perfect fettucini ☑ “There was nothing I could cook” ☑ “I cooked that al dente”
twitch chat
August 2014
I used to be a real ad
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Reddit Gold Award

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣤⣶⣶⡶⠦⠴⠶⠶⠶⠶⡶⠶⠦⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣀⣀⣀⣀⠀⢀⣤⠄⠀⠀⣶⢤⣄⠀⠀⠀⣤⣤⣄⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡷⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠙⠢⠙⠻⣿⡿⠿⠿⠫⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣤⠞⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⣴⣶⣄⠀⠀⠀⢀⣕⠦⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢀⣤⠾⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣼⣿⠟⢿⣆⠀⢠⡟⠉⠉⠊⠳⢤⣀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⣠⡾⠛⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣾⣿⠃⠀⡀⠹⣧⣘⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠳⢤⡀ ⠀⣿⡀⠀⠀⢠⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠁⠀⣼⠃⠀⢹⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣤⠀⠀⠀⢰⣷ ⠀⢿⣇⠀⠀⠈⠻⡟⠛⠋⠉⠉⠀⠀⡼⠃⠀⢠⣿⠋⠉⠉⠛⠛⠋⠀⢀⢀⣿⡏ ⠀⠘⣿⡄⠀⠀⠀⠈⠢⡀⠀⠀⠀⡼⠁⠀⢠⣿⠇⠀⠀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡜⣼⡿⠀ ⠀⠀⢻⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡄⠀⢰⠃⠀⠀⣾⡟⠀⠀⠸⡇⠀⠀⠀⢰⢧⣿⠃⠀ ⠀⠀⠘⣿⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠇⠀⠇⠀⠀⣼⠟⠀⠀⠀⠀⣇⠀⠀⢀⡟⣾⡟⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢹⣿⡄⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀⣀⣠⠴⠚⠛⠶⣤⣀⠀⠀⢻⠀⢀⡾⣹⣿⠃⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⣷⠀⠀⠀⠙⠊⠁⠀⢠⡆⠀⠀⠀⠉⠛⠓⠋⠀⠸⢣⣿⠏⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿⣷⣦⣤⣤⣄⣀⣀⣿⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣄⣀⣀⣀⣀⣾⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⣿⣿⣿⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀
ascii art
March 2019

Ice Poseidon

⣷⣶⣿⣿⣿⡿⠒⠂⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢨⢿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣗⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡘⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡀⣠⣀⣀⡀⠄⠱⢸⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠄⠄⢠⣿⣿⣄⣀⣀⣀⠄⢀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣹⣿⣿⡇⠄⢀⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠋⠄⡤⠄⠁⠄⠈⠛⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠛⠛⠻⣿⡄⣾⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠋⣼⣷⠄⣷⣾⠛⡉⠉⡓⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡤⠤⠤⠤⢤⡀⠁⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠇⠄⣿⣿⢰⣿⣿⣶⣶⣶⣷⣶⣛⣩⣤⣄⠹⣤⣤⣀⣂⣠⣿⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⡟⠄⠄⣿⡟⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⠁⠄⠄⠘⢿⡆⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣏⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⠋⠉⠛⠛⠻⣿⡿⠿⠻⠿⠿⠿⣿⡟⠈⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣏⢻⣦⣤⡘⠷⣴⣶⣧⣄⡠⠄⢀⣀⠏⠄⠄⠄⢿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣄⠈⠄⢻⣿⣿⣶⡦⠤⠭⠤⠤⣾⣿⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⢿⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣧⡀⠄⠙⣿⣿⣇⡀⣀⠄⠿⡿⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⠿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠸⣿⣿⣿⣤⡀⠄⠘⠘⠁⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⡷⠦⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
ascii art
January 2019

Priced in

Don't even ask the question. The answer is yes, it's priced in. Think Amazon will beat the next earnings? That's already been priced in. You work at the drive thru for Mickey D's and found out that the burgers are made of human meat? Priced in. You think insiders don't already know that? The market is an all powerful, all encompassing being that knows the very inner workings of your subconscious before you were even born. Your very existence was priced in decades ago when the market was valuing Standard Oil's expected future earnings based on population growth that would lead to your birth, what age you would get a car, how many times you would drive your car every week, how many times you take the bus/train, etc. Anything you can think of has already been priced in, even the things you aren't thinking of. You have no original thoughts. Your consciousness is just an illusion, a product of the omniscent market. Free will is a myth. The market sees all, knows all and will be there from the beginning of time until the end of the universe (the market has already priced in the heat death of the universe). So please, before you make a post on wsb asking whether AAPL has priced in earpods 11 sales or whatever, know that it has already been priced in and don't ask such a dumb fucking question again.
December 2020

Classic

WallStreetBets

mizkifSmile

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣀⣀⣀⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⣴⣶⣶⣶⣦⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⠄⠄⠄⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⣼⣿⡿⠛⠛⣿⣿⣿⣧⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⢰⣿⣿⣄⠄⠄⣸⣿⣿⣿⣆⣀⣼⣿⡟⠁⠈⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡀⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⣿⠿⠛⠉⠉⠉⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠉⠉⠉⠙⣿⣿⣷⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⣿⣷⣆⠄⠐⠄⣄⣠⡄⣠⣤⡄⣴⣦⣀⣤⣠⣴⢰⠄⠄⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣧⠄ ⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣆⠄⠄⠈⣈⠃⠻⢿⡷⣿⣿⠿⠋⠉⠁⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄ ⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣀⠄⠈⠙⠾⠿⢿⠿⠿⠿⠛⠋⠁⢀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄ ⠄⠄⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠿⣛⣛⣛⣛⣛⣋⣭⣭⣭⣭⣭⣭⣭⣝⣛⡋⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠿⣛⣭⣤⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄
ascii art
November 2021

Saving up salt for a trip to Greece to touch the Kripp

twitchquotes: I want to touch the kripp, I tell myself. I save up my salt for years to get a trip to greece. I ring the dong bell and out the comes the border kripp face, I smell the aroma of salt and prosterinos. In his hand is a ornate salt shaker and one of reynads 15 guitars. He shoots me in the face with a fireball saying "Assume they have fireball, cause they do have fireball" from that day foward Ive never washed my face again.
twitch chat
September 2014
Kripp
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