[Copypasta] This guy's pasta is CRAZY!

twitchquotes: ☑ This guy's pasta is CRAZY!” ☑ “My rigatoni can't win against a linguini like that” ☑ "He NEEDED that alfredo to win" ☑ “He meatballed the only marinara that could beat me” ☑ "He had the perfect fettucini ☑ “There was nothing I could cook” ☑ “I cooked that al dente”
twitch chat
August 2014
I used to be a real ad
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Moonmoon can’t beat a box of oatmeal

twitchquotes: This is fucking sad honestly. This man has been playing this game for hours on end , trying to memorize each and every attack and move. He has died over 1000 times to a box of oatmeal and hasn’t even gotten close to beating it. He comes up with an excuse for every death his chatroom watching him is even trying to give him energy “ GivePLZ TAKE ME ENERGYTakeNRG “ and give him tips which he ignores.Yet he still can’t beat a box of oatmeal how pathetic.
twitch chat
September 2017
MOONMOON

UwU sentence deterioration

twitchquotes: Imagine reading a post, but over the course of it the quality seems to deteriorate and it gets wose an wose, where the swenetence stwucture and gwammer rewerts to a pwoint of uttew non swence, an u jus dont wanna wead it anymwore (o´ω｀o) awd twa wol owdewl iws jus awfwul (´･ω･`)
twitch chat
April 2019

Weebs

Classic

You know what's worse than Ajit Pai?

twitchquotes: You know what's worse than Ajit Pai? To access the punchline to this joke, you must purchase the Punchline Package for $14.99
twitch chat
December 2017

Net Neutrality

you will never be on my intellectual level

twitchquotes: listen until you guys have read fichte, kant, schelling, hegel, goethe, novalis and hamann in the original german, you will never be on my intellectual level, you are plebs who are addicted to reddit and think rick and morty is a deep show, your children will be dysgenic losers and mine will be serious winners and well-educated, they'll probably smack the glasses off your children for fun and then go read homer in the original greek.
twitch chat
August 2020

I want to fuck the Samsung girl

Oh my fucking god I want to fuck the Samsung Virtual assistant so fucking bad, every waking second of my fucking life since the release of that fucking ad I’ve done nothing but think about her. I can’t go for more that 2 seconds without getting an erection the size of the Burj Khalifa and ejaculating at Mach 12. I’ve ejaculated so many times to simply the thought of her existence that my cock is no longer cumming sperm but literal fucking blood. I can’t stoping thinking about her even after passing out from the pain of cumming blood. I can’t complete nearly any daily tasks because my mind is continuously invaded by her perfection, I can’t live every day of my life thinking about angelic voice screaming in luscious pain about the new Samsung data plan while I fuck her perfect 3D modeled asshole. My personal hell will only get worse in a matter of hours as I will scavenge every corner of the internet in search of her rule 34 and my continuous stream of blood cum will only get worse as I’ll spend days, weeks, possibly months jacking off to her non-stop for any reason other than to shit, piss and eat. Simply at this point alone in writing this I’ve lost 2-3 liters of blood alone with just the simple thought of her existence. If this is how I die then I wouldn’t want it any other way.
June 2021
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