[Copypasta] This guy's pasta is CRAZY!

twitchquotes: ☑ This guy's pasta is CRAZY!” ☑ “My rigatoni can't win against a linguini like that” ☑ "He NEEDED that alfredo to win" ☑ “He meatballed the only marinara that could beat me” ☑ "He had the perfect fettucini ☑ “There was nothing I could cook” ☑ “I cooked that al dente”
twitch chat
August 2014
Waiting for adblock to be disabled
More Copypastas

It's not gay with socks on

When I was 13 years old a buddy of mine tried to convince me to fool around. I wasn't into it, and he told me it's not gay if you're wearing socks. I didn't believe him, went home, and asked my dad. That's 'gentleman's gay', hardly gay at all. Don't see it much these days. The 50s were a different time. What were we to do? We were typical boarding school boys, rich with vigor, skin slick with drying sweat and gritty earth from a game of pigskin. At night our young, virile bodies filled the dorm with sweet-musky vapors, like game-meat stewed with apple and peppercorn. You'd awake in darkness to the hushed, melodic rhythm of two pairs of white tube socks, barely visible in moonlight, bouncing on the hardwood floor. The deep bond of male friendship played like a thousand different human instruments. The wet claps of skin on skin, the gentle thud of heads on backboards, frenzied cries in the throes of climax. Wilbur, so fat and soft like tapioca pudding. His breasts were so like the real thing, what we fantasized of our future wives. Unwilling, defenseless Wilbur, so slow and uncoordinated in the dark. 10 of us would glaze his bare, pink flesh like a giant raspberry danish. He once had the audacity to tell Headmaster Redford. But Redford was a Deerfield boy once, he understood. So he joined us on our midnight hog hunts. Through college and years after we'd find time here and there, away from the wives at a family lake house. But it's been decades now - the times have certainly changed. If you wanted to do something private with another man, in your socks, it wasn’t ‘gay’. It was just two men, celebrating each other's strength.
August 2021

Darshan the mashtomp

twitchquotes: HELLO cutie it's Darshan the mashtomp and i want to get back into DIG. Even though I don't eat meat i will gladly suck yours for us to DUO REUNITE. I will even get scarra "gragas" wukong to join. Love, Darshan marshan of the il larshan kaperino no fettuchini pastrino
twitch chat
December 2014
imaqtpie

I lied. Again

twitchquotes: Months have passed. Hosty has lost everything. "I wish I never ghosted" says a heavily drunk Hosty as he notices a dark figure behind him."I can give you your life back as long as you do something for me" says Amaz. Hosty knowing what Amaz wants bends over and lets him have his way. Afterwards as he cries on bed, Amaz whispers in his ear "I lied. Again"
twitch chat
February 2015
Tempo Storm

I’m a simple guy

I’m a simple guy. I don’t know about all these fancy “financial instruments” or “market dynamics” or “where the clit is.” I like the stock, I buy the stock.
January 2021

WallStreetBets

Y U NO

░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░░░░░▄▄▄█▀▀▀▀▀▀▄▄▄░░░░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░░▄█▀▀░░░░░░░░░░░▀▀█▄▄░░░░░ ░░░░░░░▄█▀░░░░░░▄▄▄░░░░░░░░▄▀█▄░░░ ░░░░░░░█░░░░░░░░░░▀▀▄░░░░▄▀▀░░░█▄░ ░░░░░░█░░░░░░░░░▄█▀▀▀█▄░▄█▀▀▀█▄░▀▄ ░░░░░█░░░░░░░░░░██░▀░██░██░▀░██░░█ ░░░░░█░░░░░░░░░░▀█████▀░▀█████▀░░█ ░░░░░█░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░▄░░░░█░░░░░█ ░░░░░█░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░██▀▀▀▀█░░░░█ ░░░░░█░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░█░▄▀▄▄▄▀░░░░█ ░░░░░█░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░▄█▀▀▀▀▄░░░░░█ ░░░░░█▄░░░░░░░░░░░░░░█▄█▄█▄█░░░░░█ ░░░░░░█▄░░░░░░░░░░░░▄▀█████▀░░░░▄▀ ░░░░░░▄█▄░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░▄█▀░ ░░░░▄█▀▄░░▀▄▄░░▄▄░░░░░░░▀▀▀▄▄▀▀░░░ ░░▄█▀░░░▀▄░░░▀▀▀██▄▄▄▄▄▄█▀▀░░░░▄▄░ ▄▀░░░░░░░░█░░░░░░░▄█▀▄░▄▄▄░░░░▀██▀ ▀░░░░░░░░░░█▄░░░░▄█▄▄▄█████▄▄▄▀▀░░ ░░░░░░░░░░░░░▀▀▀█▀▀▀▀▀░▀██▀░░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░▄▀░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░
December 2020
Text-to-Speech Playing