[Copypasta] This guy's pasta is CRAZY!

twitchquotes: ☑ This guy's pasta is CRAZY!” ☑ “My rigatoni can't win against a linguini like that” ☑ "He NEEDED that alfredo to win" ☑ “He meatballed the only marinara that could beat me” ☑ "He had the perfect fettucini ☑ “There was nothing I could cook” ☑ “I cooked that al dente”
twitch chat
August 2014
I used to be a real ad
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I would like to inform you that I busted a huge nut to your shot

I would like to inform you that I busted a huge nut to your shot. My earth shattering orgasm started making me moan loud enough to deafen anyone in the near vicinity. What followed was a torrential downpour of every single sperm cell I ever have or will ever produce, shot out so hard that it ripped my dick apart by my übernut accelerating to 7% the speed of light by the time it left my urethra. The sheer weight of this historical nut, combined with the total destruction of everything in its path, caused my building to collapse, and every female in the city to fall pregnant with my children. As I lay dying under the rubble, I rest assured knowing every one of my sons will repeat this glorious act.
January 2024

The LGBTQ future

twitchquotes: The year is 2040. The LGBTQ party has taken over the whole world. Being heterosexual is illegal. At age 14, everyone is forced by law to change to another one of the 666 different genders. The last gamers hide in the sewers, eating rats and enjoying decade-old videogames; the last ones without identity politics woven directly in the code. Their last hope: leaving edgy comments in reviews on Steam.
twitch chat
July 2020

KekHands

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⠠⣴⣶⣾⣿⣶⣄⡀⣀⣠⣤⣄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⣭⡛⠿⡇⢚⣽⣿⣟⡻⡆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⣠⣾⣸⣿⣿⣒⡹⠟⢛⣉⠐⢖⢃⣵⡖⠂⠒⠲⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⡐⣫⣿⣿⣷⡿⣠⡻⢿⣾⣯⣶⡤⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣥⡿⢃⠛⣲⢉⣩⣭⠬⠭⠭⠥⠬⠭⠽⠜⠆⣦⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⣿⠄⡇⣴⣰⢰⡇⣿⠘⣧⢹⡆⠇⠃⢸⣸⡇⠄⠄⠄⡜⣷⡰⡄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⢻⣀⣇⡉⡍⡄⣶⢰⡆⢰⢰⡆⣄⡄⡴⣿⠇⢰⣦⠄⣿⣸⣧⡿ ⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣍⣻⣿⣟⣃⡛⣘⢃⢻⢘⢃⣌⣼⣿⠃⠄⡀⣿⣷⣿⣿⠟⠁ ⣔⡺⠯⣝⣛⡻⠿⠿⣿⣿⡻⣔⢷⣯⣿⣘⣿⢘⡌⣿⠏⢰⣾⣿⣿⡿⠉⠁⠄⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣶⣭⣭⣙⣛⣒⣒⣒⣛⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠋⠁⠄⠘⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢸⣿⣿⣿⢰⣿⣆⠄⠄⠄⢿⣿⣿⣷⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣍⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⣿⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿⣿⣷⣄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⡀⠄⠄⠄ ⡜⢿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣜⢿⣿⣿⣿⢱⣿⣿⣿⡧⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⣼⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⣎⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣌⢻⡿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢡⣷⡈⠻⣿⡟⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄
ascii art
November 2021

Pepe

Soju special starter kit

Soju special stater kit ✔ already won the game ✔ This lobby’s playing for second ✔ This is my last loss ✔ I win out from here ✔ My board is too lit ✔ HP is fake ✔ I’m about to spike hard ✔ That’s a fake loss ✔ 20hp? That’s 3 lives ✔ This game is over ✔ We win out ✔ We're actually scaling ✔ last loss ✔ it's a fast 9 ✔ going eif
July 2022
k3soju

Teamfight Tactics

A chef explaining why air fryers are a scam on r/unpopularopinion

As a chef, it’s an insult to hear “air fryers are as good as frying”. Air fryers are fucking bullshit scams and are just convection ovens with an extra fan added. Seriously, pan searing or regular baking will always be better. I swear to shit Jared if I hear you compare fried chicken to air fried chicken one more time I’m gonna smack the gob out of you. Edit: I’m in danger, I never realized how deep the air fryer fandom goes. I will die on this hill Edit2: I’ll never stop upvoting and loving you all but… but I’m just gonna go cry about something totally different.. Edit3: i think id be a lot less upset if it was called an “extra air oven” as its a convection oven with extra fans. Edit4: if I had a dollar for every comment “you clearly don’t own an air fryer” I’d be able to put it towards a new toaster oven. Edit5: the chances of getting doxxed over kitchen appliances isn’t high.. but never zero. Edit6: apparently air fryers are taking my job? Sorry boys and girls, no more foi gras for the rich.
November 2021
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