[Copypasta] Did you hear about the Italian chef who died?

twitchquotes: Did you hear about the Italian chef who died? He pasta way. He just ran out of thyme. Here today, gone tomato. His wife is still upset, cheese still not over it. We never sausage a tragedy coming. Ashes to ashes, crust to crust. There’s just not mushroom for Italian chefs in today’s world. Want to know what the rough parts of Italy are called? The spaghetto. Don’t call yourself Italian if you weren’t baptized in marinara sauce. You are literally too stupid to insult.
twitch chat
November 2019
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Hello Reynad, this is your Mother

twitchquotes: Hello Reynad, this is your Mother. I heard earlier that you are going out with this new boy. I am very concerned. I dont like that Bro-Fister Kripp and I dont think you should hang out with him anymore. Whatever happened to that Tides boy? He had the nicest smile. Please copy paste this message so that my daughter can see this. -.--.-
twitch chat
December 2014
Reynad

EU TEST PASSED

twitchquotes: ☑ Veganism ☑ Poverty ☑ Refugees ☑ No Guns ☑ Bad Teeth ☑ High Prices ☑ Allahu Ackbar ☐ Relevant in 2016 ☑ High Tax ☑ Low Wages ☑ No Freedom ☑ EU TEST PASSED
twitch chat
June 2016
Kripp

EU vs NA

I hate JoJo

I fucking hate JoJo. Every subreddit I go through has a vermin-like underclass of JoJo fanboys. They all just have to say “iS THat A JOJo ReFErEncE??!!!1” on every fucking post that contains a single word that may have been used in the shitty comics. Oh, a suspicious link? Probably a rickroll. NOPE!!! They’ve ruined that, too! One of the oldest goddamn internet traditions shat on and ruined by JoJo fanboys. Thunder Cross Split Attack! So fucking funny, right? I’m wheezing! NO. SHUT THE FUCK UP. Nobody cares about your shitty comic series. Dio is a stupid character from a stupid comic series. I downvote every post and comment that mentions JoJo, out of pure bloodcurdling rage. I want to detonate a MASSIVE thermonuclear warhead right on top of whatever godforsaken studio publishes that stinking-pile-of-trash comic. Frankly, I don’t even care for the civilian casualties, either. At least they died for a good reason. Unlike JoJo fans, I actually contribute to the betterment of mankind, instead of spamming shitty references on the internet. Every JoJo fan that dies a slow, painful death is a win in my book. I have claimed over a dozen of them already, too. I annihilated their skulls with my fists. Their stupid ice attack didn’t do shit for them either. They dies like they lived, pathetic excuses for humans. I hope more people hear my message and declare war on JoJo. If nobody helps me, I will do as much damage as I possibly can before I die. Thank you.
February 2021

JoJo's Bizarre Adventure

Angry Kirby

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ascii art
February 2021

Eating chicken wings beside Tenz

twitchquotes: one time i was eating chicken wings beside tenz at a pub in canada, and he is wearing white sweatpants and the black and red SEN jersey and i was eating a flat and i took a bite out of it and the bone popped out and flip up in the air, and i swore to god that time slow down and i was like "omg holy shit, somebody stop this", i couldnt react whilst watching the bone spinning around and then the chicken wing drops but tenz moves his leg away while the bone was split-second away from touching his white sweatpants and i look dead in his eyes and said "omg dude, im so sorry" and tenz that totally silence all the time while enjoying his borovička look over towards me and said "i knew it would happen" then look away, stood up and walk off, i never been so awe in my life and then i knew this guy is and will be a great valorant player, this guy is cold as fuck like his in-game name and he is fast as hell its how he dodges the chicken wing bone and its how he fucked 100t balls deep while keeping his composure, its no coincidence, im telling you its all interconnected because what kind of person you're in real life, translated to how you are as a player in valorant.
twitch chat
June 2021
TenZ

Valorant

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