[Copypasta] Did you hear about the Italian chef who died?

twitchquotes: Did you hear about the Italian chef who died? He pasta way. He just ran out of thyme. Here today, gone tomato. His wife is still upset, cheese still not over it. We never sausage a tragedy coming. Ashes to ashes, crust to crust. There’s just not mushroom for Italian chefs in today’s world. Want to know what the rough parts of Italy are called? The spaghetto. Don’t call yourself Italian if you weren’t baptized in marinara sauce. You are literally too stupid to insult.
twitch chat
November 2019
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Thanks for backseating v2

Reminder for all participants of this chat: Streamer is very grateful for any incoming advice and tips on build, strategy, and abilities he should have used the last teamfight. He is a hardstuck Challenger therefore your advice is invaluable to him as people in silver bronze and iron show incredible out of the box thinking that can push the diamond player to greatness. Please do not hesitate to help the streamer and other chat users move forward with their game by sharing your incredibly smart ideas!
July 2022

League of Legends

It seems you have Tissed Krump

twitchquotes: Rania arrives home with a paper bag by her hand. "Foodie time !", says Kripp ready to stuff his face in front 20.000 viewers. As Rania hands over the bag and gives him a passionate kiss, she notices that his lips feel different. She looks into his eyes and yells in horror as she sees someone else in Kripps seat. "It seems you have Tissed Krump."
twitch chat
March 2015
Kripp

The Bible is an amazing manga

The Bible is an amazing manga. Chapters 1-5 were written by this guy named Moses but for some reason the author changed around. Abram is definitely my favorite character although for some reason they retconned his name to be Abraham, and in some regional publications his name is Ibrahim. The best ship is Abram x Sarah. Also, they totally nailed the new testament chapter, with some great character development. I never expected Judas' betrayal either.
April 2020

Weebs

I love Art of Conquest!

twitchquotes: My $0.99 starter bundle put me well above the other players. But, when I reached the first enemy castle. I couldn't beat it. I checked the in game shop. "BONUS SILVER TROOPS $4.99 EXPIRES IN 3:14:28" I happily spent $4.99. Shortly after I came across an elite boss I couldnt beat. So I checked the in game shop. "BONUS GOLD TROOPS. 5000 RESOURCES. $19.99 EXPIRES IN 1:05:39" It's about to expire! I quickly entered my credit card and bought the bundle, it was such a steal. I love Art of Conquest!
twitch chat
January 2018
Kripp

sellout

Kidnapped and put into a donger concentration camp

twitchquotes: helo my name is dongerino pasterino ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ノ, i am 69 year old donger from imaqtmeatloaf's stream . 420 years ago i was kidnapped and put into a donger concentration camp for 9001 years. 1 year ago, imaqtlasagne and imaqtpie invaded the camp and rescued me. now i work as teacherino, passing down the wisdom of ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) to young dongers.
twitch chat
October 2014
Riot Games
Text-to-Speech Playing