[Copypasta] Did you hear about the Italian chef who died?

twitchquotes: Did you hear about the Italian chef who died? He pasta way. He just ran out of thyme. Here today, gone tomato. His wife is still upset, cheese still not over it. We never sausage a tragedy coming. Ashes to ashes, crust to crust. There’s just not mushroom for Italian chefs in today’s world. Want to know what the rough parts of Italy are called? The spaghetto. Don’t call yourself Italian if you weren’t baptized in marinara sauce. You are literally too stupid to insult.
twitch chat
November 2019
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AITA for ending my marriage over Animal Crossing??

I (65m) and my wife 24(f) have been together for 8 years, married for 4. All my friends are jealous that i was able to score such a hot young woman but it’s starting to cause some problems in our relationship believe it or not. When the pandemic hit, I was very nervous since I’m not in great health. We decided to buy the Nintendo Switch and play this game called Animal Crossing. I guess it’s popular with the kids? Anywho, we start building this town and everything was fine at first. Then, my wife decides that she wants to remodel the town. No problem. But she starts cutting down all the trees, destroying the cliffs, removing the river, etc... I told her this is out of line. We should respect nature not destroy it. Her answer? It was ugly and she didn’t like to walk the long way around. She also takes all of my hard earned money from fishing and gambles it all away on turnip stocks. Last week she spent 400k on turnips and sold them for 260k. Do you know how many red snappers I need to catch to make that back up? I’m trying to retire soon and it’s making me think she doesn’t know how to manage money. What really drove me to the breaking point, my best friend Boon is on the island and we really get along. He likes to lift weights, so do I. I log into the game one day and build him a gift. When I try to find him, he’s nowhere to be found... I ask, where is boon? She doesn’t answer. Where is Boon ?? She says “I kicked him off the island, he was annoying”. Reddit, she kicked my best friend off the island without even talking to me. The next day I filed for divorce and kicked her out. I’m keeping the switch and rebuilding our town. Hopefully Boon comes back. AITA or did I doge a bullet with my sociopathic (ex)wife? Edit: Thank you all for the support and messages over the last 24hrs. It’s been a wild day but the good news is that after a few hours of island hopping I was able to find Boon and convince him to come back to my island. Seems like things are heading in the right direction.
August 2021

AITA

Look subs, I have more money than you

twitchquotes: 4Head [̲̅$̲̅(̲̅5̲̅)̲̅$̲̅] Look subs, I have more money than you 4Head
twitch chat
July 2015

Classic

plebs vs subs

Kissahomie

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ascii art
February 2021

Blizzard has been working hard on Diablo Immortal

twitchquotes: This chat is so ungrateful. Blizzard has been working so hard crunching hours to develop a new Diablo game for their long-term fans, giving it an extra Blizzard polish and publishing it on the world's most popular gaming console, Mobile, to enable many of their fans to be able to play. Yet these same "fans" demand a "better" game. How can a game be "better", when a game is a game? smh beta nerds these days.
twitch chat
November 2018

Slim down and shout less T1

twitchquotes: Hey T1, I was wondering if you could please take a month off of going to the gym to slim down a bit? Your huge masculine, muscular frame intimidates me and distracts me from the gameplay that I'm here to savor. Also please try to shout less I have sensitive ears. Thank you :)
twitch chat
December 2019
Tyler1
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