[Copypasta] Did you hear about the Italian chef who died?

twitchquotes: Did you hear about the Italian chef who died? He pasta way. He just ran out of thyme. Here today, gone tomato. His wife is still upset, cheese still not over it. We never sausage a tragedy coming. Ashes to ashes, crust to crust. Thereโ€™s just not mushroom for Italian chefs in todayโ€™s world. Want to know what the rough parts of Italy are called? The spaghetto. Donโ€™t call yourself Italian if you werenโ€™t baptized in marinara sauce. You are literally too stupid to insult.
twitch chat
November 2019
(โ–€ฬฟฤนฬฏโ”œโ”ฌโ”ดโ”ฌโ”ด Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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twitchquotes: Tแ•ผIแ”• แ—ฐแ•ฎแ”•แ”•แ—ฉGแ•ฎ Iแ”• แ‘ญแ–‡OTแ•ฎแ‘•Tแ•ฎแ—ช แ—ทY แ—ฉ แ”•แ‘ญแ•ฎแ‘•Iแ—ฉแ’ช แ–ดOแ‘ŽT. IT'แ”• Iแ—ฐแ‘ญOแ”•แ”•Iแ—ทแ’ชแ•ฎ TO แ‘•Oแ‘ญY IT.
twitch chat
March 2016
Reynad

COCKtober emojipasta v2

October 2021

Emoji Pasta

Holiday Emoji

Halloween

NSFW

Holiday

I orgasmed during an online zoom class

Fuck this is so embarrassing. I'm literally shaking so hard rn. So like the randy horny mf I am, I was jerking off and edging myself before one of my online classes. Then the class started so I joined. Our teacher's pretty strict and all and expects cameras on at all times. So I just sat there whilst everyone joined, still horny as hell. I had my dick pressed between my legs still. Teacher's going round asking us how the weekend went yada yada. So now it's my turn to speak. I unmute my mic to say my stuff and whilst I'm talking I squeeze my legs a little too hard and come hard as fuck causing to me to literally moan LIKE A FUCKING WHALE and make my horrid contorted orgasm face RIGHT ON FUCKING CAMERA WITH MY MIC UNMUTED WHILST THE ENTIRE CLASS OF 40 STUDENTS ARE WATCHING. LET'S NOT EVEN FORGET THAT MY FACE WAS FULL-SCREEN WHILST I WAS SPEAKING. In a total crazy panic, I leave the class. I'm dropping that class asap. No, scratch that. Dropping out of college altogether. No way can I go back there again. Might as well drop off this earth while I'm at it.
September 2021

Joker

โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–โ–โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–‘โ–โ–โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–Œโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–„โ–โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–Œโ–โ–โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–Œโ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–‘โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–‘ โ–‘โ–โ–โ–‘โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–โ–‘โ–Œโ–„โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œ โ–‘โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–‘โ–โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–€ โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–€โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–Œโ–Œโ–‘โ–Œโ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–‘โ–โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–โ–‘โ–Œโ–„โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–Œโ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–โ–‘โ–Œโ–€โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–„โ–โ–„โ–‘โ–‘
ascii art
November 2014

I'm shaking. I'm fucking shaking (Nolan Grayson)

I'm shaking. I'm fucking shaking. I never wanted to breed with anyone more than I want to with Nolan Grayson. That perfect, shredded body. The perfectly trimmed mustache. The planet conquering skills of a literal god. It honestly fucking hurts knowing that I'll never mate with him, have him pass his genes through me, and have me birth a set of perfect offspring. I'd do fucking ANYTHING for the chance for Nolan Grayson to get me pregnant. A N Y T H I N G. And the fact that I can't is quite honestly too much to fucking bear. Why would Robert Kirkman create something so perfect? To fucking tantalize us? Fucking laugh in our faces?! Honestly, I just fucking can't anymore. Fuck.
June 2021
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