[Copypasta] Did you hear about the Italian chef who died?

twitchquotes: Did you hear about the Italian chef who died? He pasta way. He just ran out of thyme. Here today, gone tomato. His wife is still upset, cheese still not over it. We never sausage a tragedy coming. Ashes to ashes, crust to crust. There’s just not mushroom for Italian chefs in today’s world. Want to know what the rough parts of Italy are called? The spaghetto. Don’t call yourself Italian if you weren’t baptized in marinara sauce. You are literally too stupid to insult.
twitch chat
November 2019
I used to be a real ad
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Naxx beta key on Kripp's Pornhub profile

twitchquotes: ＮＡＸＸ　ＢＥＴＡ　ＯＵＴ Iɴғᴏʀᴍᴀᴛɪᴏɴ ᴏɴ ʜᴏᴡ ᴛᴏ ɢᴇᴛ ᴀ ғʀᴇᴇ Nᴀxx ᴋᴇʏ ᴛᴏ ᴇɴᴛᴇʀ ʙᴇᴛᴀ ᴄᴀɴ ʙᴇ ғᴏᴜɴᴅ ᴏɴ Kʀɪᴘᴘᴀʀɪᴀɴ's ᴘᴏʀɴʜᴜʙ ᴘʀᴏғɪʟᴇ (ᴜɴᴅᴇʀ ᴛʜᴇ ʜɪɢʜʟɪɢʜᴛᴇᴅ ᴄᴀᴛ ᴠɪᴅᴇᴏ). Gᴇᴛ ɪᴛ ǫᴜɪᴄᴋʟʏ ʙᴇғᴏʀᴇ ᴛʜᴇʏ ᴀʀᴇ ᴀʟʟ ɢᴏɴᴇ, ᴏɴʟʏ 463 ɴᴀxx ᴋᴇʏs ʟᴇғᴛ
twitch chat
July 2014
Kripp

So as a joke, I fucked my friend in a Red M&M cosplay

So as a joke, I went to my friend's house wearing Red M&M’s wrapper and shoes. I could barely stop my laughter as he went as red as an M&M and looked at me from head to toe with a bit of drool in his mouth. The way he stared made mde feel a bit funny too, but I decided to tease him more by taking off my wrapper. He asked me, "Are you serious?" and I said "It’s that kind of party." He went silent for what seemed like forever, so I asked him, "What's the matter, can’t resist my chocolaty interior?" He said he's confused, but then his boner got really hard, which made me take off his clothes. I expected him to scream, "Stop!" as I kissed him and stroked his cock, but he instead shouted "I melt in your mouth, not in your hands!" which made me get a boner myself. Before I knew it, I was blowing him for the first time till he came. His semen was so thick, it got stuck inside my throat no matter how hard I swallowed. He then said, "I want to fuck you now!" and seeing that we've already gone that far and we were both naked, I obliged. A few hours later, the jerk went all pale and said to me "Why did we do that? Now I'm not fucking straight." But he still looked so cute all confused like that, so I took pity on him and reassured while wiping his cum off my face, "Let's just pretend I'ms till Red M&M."
September 2021

When soup, my spoon automatically go to bowl

twitchquotes: ｗｈｅｎ ｓｏｕｐ， ｍｙ ｓｐｏｏｎ ａｕｔｏｍａｔｉｃａｌｌｙ ｇｏ ｔｏ ｔｈｅ ｂｏｔｔｏｍ ｏｆ ｔｈｅ ｂｏｗｌ． ｉ ｔａｓｔｅ ｔｈｅ ｍｏｒｅ ｆｌａｖｏｕｒ ａｎｄ ｆｅｅｌ ｈａｖｉｎｇ ｓｅｘ ｗｉｔｈ ｔｈｅ ｓｐｉｃｅ． ａｌｌ ｂｅｃｏｍｉｎｇ ｆｕｃｋ ｙｏｕ
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

nooooooooo emote

⠟⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠛⢻⣿ ⡆⠊⠈⣿⢿⡟⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣎⠈⠻ ⣷⣠⠁⢀⠰⠀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠋⠛⠛⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⢹⣿⡑⠐⢰ ⣿⣿⠀⠁⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⡩⠐⠀⠀⠀⠀⢐⠠⠈⠊⣿⣿⣿⡇⠘⠁⢀⠆⢀ ⣿⣿⣆⠀⠀⢤⣿⣿⡿⠃⠈⠀⣠⣶⣿⣿⣷⣦⡀⠀⠀⠈⢿⣿⣇⡆⠀⠀⣠⣾ ⣿⣿⣿⣧⣦⣿⣿⣿⡏⠀⠀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠀⠀⠐⣿⣿⣷⣦⣷⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠀⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠀⣾⣿⣿⠋⠁⠀⠉⠻⣿⣿⣧⠀⠠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⣿⡿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢿⣿⠀⣺⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣠⣂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣁⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣄⣤⣤⣔⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
ascii art
July 2021
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