[Copypasta] Did you hear about the Italian chef who died?

twitchquotes: Did you hear about the Italian chef who died? He pasta way. He just ran out of thyme. Here today, gone tomato. His wife is still upset, cheese still not over it. We never sausage a tragedy coming. Ashes to ashes, crust to crust. There’s just not mushroom for Italian chefs in today’s world. Want to know what the rough parts of Italy are called? The spaghetto. Don’t call yourself Italian if you weren’t baptized in marinara sauce. You are literally too stupid to insult.
twitch chat
November 2019
I used to be a real ad
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k3soju it's a neighth

soju ponders with the idea of slamming a cav spat. Hovering his chain over his spatula while he contemplates. Suddenly, he slips - accidentally slamming the cav spat ON HIMSELF. Twitch chat watch as soju twists and morphs into a horse live on stream. He stares into the camera... "it's a neighth"
July 2022
k3soju

Teamfight Tactics

I hate JoJo

I fucking hate JoJo. Every subreddit I go through has a vermin-like underclass of JoJo fanboys. They all just have to say “iS THat A JOJo ReFErEncE??!!!1” on every fucking post that contains a single word that may have been used in the shitty comics. Oh, a suspicious link? Probably a rickroll. NOPE!!! They’ve ruined that, too! One of the oldest goddamn internet traditions shat on and ruined by JoJo fanboys. Thunder Cross Split Attack! So fucking funny, right? I’m wheezing! NO. SHUT THE FUCK UP. Nobody cares about your shitty comic series. Dio is a stupid character from a stupid comic series. I downvote every post and comment that mentions JoJo, out of pure bloodcurdling rage. I want to detonate a MASSIVE thermonuclear warhead right on top of whatever godforsaken studio publishes that stinking-pile-of-trash comic. Frankly, I don’t even care for the civilian casualties, either. At least they died for a good reason. Unlike JoJo fans, I actually contribute to the betterment of mankind, instead of spamming shitty references on the internet. Every JoJo fan that dies a slow, painful death is a win in my book. I have claimed over a dozen of them already, too. I annihilated their skulls with my fists. Their stupid ice attack didn’t do shit for them either. They dies like they lived, pathetic excuses for humans. I hope more people hear my message and declare war on JoJo. If nobody helps me, I will do as much damage as I possibly can before I die. Thank you.
February 2021

JoJo's Bizarre Adventure

Jared thought he was back with the crew

twitchquotes: Jared, jumping for joy at the site of an easy victory with QT thought he was back with the crew. Little did he know QT was devising a cunning plan to demote Jared back to Diamond 3. Boom, like a shot in the dark, an instant 4 man surrender stole the wind right out of Jared. Jared glanced over to his 9mm, knowing one day he will have his chance to right these wrongs.
twitch chat
April 2016
imaqtpie

Boosted Animal Jared

League of Legends

Spy from tf2 disguised himself as demoman

twitchquotes: Bruh wharf if, if the spy fromb tf2 disguised himself as demoman to get an N-word word pass.
twitch chat
May 2019

Liberty Mutual Auto Insurance

twitchquotes: 🚶You owned a car 🚗🚗 for 4⏰📅 years⏰👍. You🚶 named it👱 Brad👱. You💑❤💗 loved💕Brad💕😙. And then you🚶⚠ totaled⚠🚧🚗🚙 him🚦. You two 💏💑had been through everything 👬together🎭. 👬2 boyfriends👬, 🔨🔧3 jobs🔫,❌ nothing ❌could replace👱 Brad🍆🍆. Then Liberty Mutual📞📞📞 calls, and you break into your 😊happy😊 💃dance💃💃🍆.
twitch chat
October 2016
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