[Copypasta] Did you hear about the Italian chef who died?

twitchquotes: Did you hear about the Italian chef who died? He pasta way. He just ran out of thyme. Here today, gone tomato. His wife is still upset, cheese still not over it. We never sausage a tragedy coming. Ashes to ashes, crust to crust. There’s just not mushroom for Italian chefs in today’s world. Want to know what the rough parts of Italy are called? The spaghetto. Don’t call yourself Italian if you weren’t baptized in marinara sauce. You are literally too stupid to insult.
twitch chat
November 2019
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Kripp's MALDHAWK

twitchquotes: Late last year, we were on an expedition to find the rarest hairstyle of them all.. the "MALDHAWK" A combination of MALD and a hawk nest, it combines the fluidity of middle aged male pattern baldness to a contrast of dead rats. Much to our chagrin, we found it April 13th, 2020, on a morose Canadian gypsy's stream. He had over 10k viewers at the time of writing this
twitch chat
April 2020
Kripp

Last night I had a dream

twitchquotes: Last night I had a dream that whenever I typed something in Forsen's channel, everyone copied and pasted it, and then Forsen got really mad at me for starting spam. After that he banned me and I felt really bad for it, so my only option to apologize to him was to suck his sweadish meatballs. Sorry Forskin!
twitch chat
November 2014
Forsen

Ben Shapiro asks a girl out to prom

Ok, so l-let's say, hypothetically, for the sake of the argument, that, perhaps, I, Ben, was to ask you, Stacy, to the prom, right now. Now let me ask you, in that situation, would it not be in your best interest to say yes? I mean the answer is obvious, right? Now let's suppose, that in fact, I was doing so right now, in this room. Now, hypothetically, what would your response be?
January 2021

Ben Shapiro

Fortnite default dance 11

⠀⠀⠀⣶⣿⣶ ⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣀ ⠀⣀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣶⣿⠛⣭⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠛⠛⠛⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⣀⣭⣿⣿⣿⣿⣀ ⠀⠤⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠉ ⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠉ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣶⣿⣿ ⠉⠛⣿⣿⣶⣤ ⠀⠀⠉⠿⣿⣿⣤ ⠀⠀⣀⣤⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠒⠿⠛⠉⠿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣶⠿⠿⠛
ascii art
November 2018

Fortnite Default Dance

Fortnite

So as a joke, I fucked my friend in a Red M&M cosplay

So as a joke, I went to my friend's house wearing Red M&M’s wrapper and shoes. I could barely stop my laughter as he went as red as an M&M and looked at me from head to toe with a bit of drool in his mouth. The way he stared made mde feel a bit funny too, but I decided to tease him more by taking off my wrapper. He asked me, "Are you serious?" and I said "It’s that kind of party." He went silent for what seemed like forever, so I asked him, "What's the matter, can’t resist my chocolaty interior?" He said he's confused, but then his boner got really hard, which made me take off his clothes. I expected him to scream, "Stop!" as I kissed him and stroked his cock, but he instead shouted "I melt in your mouth, not in your hands!" which made me get a boner myself. Before I knew it, I was blowing him for the first time till he came. His semen was so thick, it got stuck inside my throat no matter how hard I swallowed. He then said, "I want to fuck you now!" and seeing that we've already gone that far and we were both naked, I obliged. A few hours later, the jerk went all pale and said to me "Why did we do that? Now I'm not fucking straight." But he still looked so cute all confused like that, so I took pity on him and reassured while wiping his cum off my face, "Let's just pretend I'ms till Red M&M."
September 2021
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