[Copypasta] Did you hear about the Italian chef who died?

twitchquotes: Did you hear about the Italian chef who died? He pasta way. He just ran out of thyme. Here today, gone tomato. His wife is still upset, cheese still not over it. We never sausage a tragedy coming. Ashes to ashes, crust to crust. There’s just not mushroom for Italian chefs in today’s world. Want to know what the rough parts of Italy are called? The spaghetto. Don’t call yourself Italian if you weren’t baptized in marinara sauce. You are literally too stupid to insult.
twitch chat
November 2019
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

Imagine spamming chat

twitchquotes: Imagine going to an online chat and spamming it with brainless text for no reason.
twitch chat
April 2019

Classic

Magic the Gathering Thought Erasure

twitchquotes: Yesterday, there was a Magic the Gathering tournament at my local hobby shop. My girlfriend decided to tag along and come support me. I ended up doing pretty poorly (1-3), but the hobby shop gave out a consolation prize of a random foiled uncommon card. The card that I received was called "Thought Erasure" and immediately held the card up to my girlfriend and said "AND I CAST THOUGHT ERASURE, BE GONE THOT!" as a joke, but said it pretty loudly. The shop is pretty small and a lot of people caught wind of my act and needless to say my girlfriend was very embarrassed. We're home now and she still hasn't spoken to me. I'm fucked boys.
twitch chat
November 2018

Oh, these? My boobies?

Oh, these? My boobies? My massive fucking titties? My super stuffed milkies? My honker bonker doinky boinkies? My fucking fabric stretching wind flapping gravity welling sex mounds? You mean these super duper ultra hyper god damn motherfucking tits?
April 2021

What if we make Firelands Portal a common?

twitchquotes: "How did Kripp get 12 wins?" Ben Brode demanded at the board meeting. "You were supposed to be monitoring him, Charlie." "Sorry, I must've fallen asleep. He was streaming some boring action-RPG earlier today." Ben Brode frowned. "The salt shortage is cutting into our profits. We're going to need a solution, quick." Sarah raised her hand. "What if we make Firelands Portal a common?"
twitch chat
August 2016
Kripp

Hearthstone

So you're going by "X Æ A-12" now nerd?

twitchquotes: So you're going by "X Æ A-12" now nerd? Haha whats up loony, it's Tanner from Mars. Remember me? Me and the Martians used to give you a hard time in terraforming facility. Sorry you were just an easy target lol. I can see not much has changed. Remember L Æ LA-3 the girl you had a crush on? Yeah we're married now. I make over 200k a year and fly a reusable space rocket. I guess some things never change huh Earthling? Nice catching up lol. Pathetic..
twitch chat
May 2020

Tanner from High School

Text-to-Speech Playing