[Copypasta] Did you hear about the Italian chef who died?

twitchquotes: Did you hear about the Italian chef who died? He pasta way. He just ran out of thyme. Here today, gone tomato. His wife is still upset, cheese still not over it. We never sausage a tragedy coming. Ashes to ashes, crust to crust. There’s just not mushroom for Italian chefs in today’s world. Want to know what the rough parts of Italy are called? The spaghetto. Don’t call yourself Italian if you weren’t baptized in marinara sauce. You are literally too stupid to insult.
twitch chat
November 2019
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Kripp's lettuce points

twitchquotes: The year is 2035. Kripp's lettuce points have quickly developed into one of the most valuable crypto currencies in the world. Elsewhere, Tanner sits alone in his dark, dingy apartment, watching Kripp's stream, desperately trying to gamble for some lettuce points. He types "!bet 2 all" in chat, and anxiously awaits the results. Upon seeing Kripp go 0-3, Tanner puts a gun to his head and lets out one final "never lucky" before pulling the trigger.
twitch chat
February 2019
Kripp

Hearthstone

Tanner from High School

Kripp saved my marriage

twitchquotes: I was going through a rough time in my marriage where nothing seemed to arouse me anymore. Things had gone stale between me and my wife in bed and divorce seemed inevitable. But then I discovered Kripp's stream and everything changed. There's just something about that vegan bald head that does something to me, and before I knew it my libido was back. I now go at it with my wife at the sounds of "Fuck!" and "Topdeck Flamestrike!" to boost my vigor. Thank you Kripp for saving my marriage.
twitch chat
November 2019
Kripp

Hearthstone

Logan Paul Japanese Forest

ay yo what's up #logang today we're going to be heading in the #japanesesuicideforest here in japan, but first of all make sure to smash that like button, share this video, and subscribe for more vlogs like this one right here, also make sure to follow me on twitter, instagram google +, and like my page on facebook and pintrest. before heading in here i just wanna say suicide is not a joke but is that a dead body i'm not fucking with ya'll let's get the camera in there. as you can see this person is dead if you don't want to end up like him make sure you stay subscribed you know he probably ain't have no friends but if your in the #logang you know logan is your best friend haha chilling anyways thanks for watching guys and i won't be monetizing this video but make sure to check out my merch in the description, and dont forget to like share and subscribe and peace out #logang haha
December 2018

Should We Ban Jerma From Our Gay Wedding?

Should We Ban Jerma From Our Gay Wedding? Okay, so my boyfriend and I have been talking and we're looking to get married in the next year or so once it's safe. We've been talking seriously about this and we absolutely want to ensure that TOTAL PSYCHOPATH Jerma ABSOLUTELY does NOT come to our wedding. I was thinking maybe putting up “beware of sus guy” photos around the venue? Maybe watching his tier list videos and picking his least favorite snacks? How can we best do this, do you think? SHOULD we do this? Many thanks. (Oh, and P.S., if there’s a way we could invite Otto without his COMPLETELY UNHINGED RAT FILMOGRAPHER OWNER joining, that would be optimal :) )
December 2021
Jerma985

monkaW

⠟⠛⣉⣡⣴⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣤⣉⡛⢿⣿⣿⠿⠟⠛⣋⣉⣩⣭⣭⣭⣉⣙⠛⠈ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⠡⣴⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠆⠄⠈⢻⣿⣿⣿⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⠰⠄⠙⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣔⡗⠠⢀⣼⣿⣿⣿⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣀⠘⠠⢀⣼ ⡉⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⣋⣡⡈⠛⠛⠛⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿ ⠿⠷⠶⣦⣭⣉⣉⣉⣉⣭⡥⣴⡿⠿⢟⣠⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶ ⣿⣷⣶⣶⣤⣬⣭⣽⣿⣿⠖⣠⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠁ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠛⣫⣥⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⣝⠛⢛⣫⣭⣭⣭⣭⣅⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣶⣶⣶⣮⣭⣉⣙⡛⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠟⢛⣉⣭ ⣛⣛⣛⡛⠻⠿⢿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣶⣶⣦⣤⣬⣭⣭⣭⣭⣭⣭⣭⣭⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⡿ ⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣦⣭⣭⣭⣭⣍⣉⣉⣉⣛⣛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⢛⣋⣭⣄⠄ ⣶⣦⣬⣍⣙⣛⠛⠛⠛⠿⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠄
ascii art
April 2019

Pepe

More Copypastas
Text-to-Speech Playing