[Copypasta] Get a life nerds

twitchquotes: Honestly though, copy-pasting the same thing over and over again, how dumb can all of you be? The more i post it, the funnier it gets ResidentSleeper You guys are so easy to trick into spamming. Get a life nerds
twitch chat
November 2019
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Magic Sex Gun YouTube ad script

January 2021

I saw JPOW at the grocery store

I saw JPOW at the grocery store. I was buying a dozen eggs last night and the store was kind of slow since it was after dark. Some old boomer was in front of me and chatting away with the woman at the cash register. Everyone had masks on, but as soon as he spoke I recognized the voice. He was telling the lady how inflation is a good thing. She said how come inflation keeps going up but minimum wage never rises? He ignored her and pulls out a large sheet of $1 bills. He asks if she had scissors but she said no. He looked back at me and saw the eggs and said "You workout huh? Its good to stay healthy. I used to workout by lifting bales of hay after school in 1952. Eggs are a good source of energy, mind if I take one? " I shrugged and told him.go ahead. He opened my pack of eggs, takes one out, lowers his mask, just throws the whole thing in his mouth shell and all, puts his mask back up, and begins chewing loudly. As he's chewing he's crookedly folding and ripping a sheet of dollar bills handing them to the lady individually. While he's chewing he tells me it's a great time to buy bonds. I tell him I'm good. The store was short on change so he just pays the full dollar amount. He hands me a crooked bill that is almost ripped in half and says "thanks pal, in the future that single egg will be worth a dollar so we will call it even" Im heading to my car after and I see him and another boomer arguing. There was JPOW and he's arguing with a man built like a gnome wearing a poorly fit collared shirt. The little man spoke and I instantly knew it was Cramer. Cramer wanted JPOW to hurry up and stop hogging the best parking spot. JPOW tells Cramer that hes got his mask on inside out and upside down. They both start talking about inflation and then look deep into each other's eyes and start making out with their masks on. It was a pretty weird.
February 2021

WallStreetBets

Classic

Learn the ways of the Russians

twitchquotes: Learn the ways of the Russians, speak their language for a while, they might think you are one of them. Then maybe join their team, success might come and fighting for last drink of vodka will be your next objective. Do not give up, you have Dota tournament ahead of you. Then win TI1, but don't stop now, you have to go deeper. Spend 3 more years trying to solve the puzzle of russki power of motherland and then leave the team with full knowledge of understanding of strenght of ROSSIA and PROMISE URSELF THET YU WILL NEVER LOS TO RUS AND KNOW OF COLLAPSING STRONG EMPIRE OF RUSKILAND.
twitch chat
November 2014
Forsen

Pornhub's message to Kripp

twitchquotes: Ｈｅｌｌｏ　Ｋｒｉｐｐ，　ｔｈｉｓ　ｉｓ　ｔｈｅ　ａｄｍｉｎｉｓｔｒａｔｏｒ　ｏｆ　ＰｏｒｎＨｕｂ™　ｗｅ　ｈａｖｅ　ｎｏｔｉｃｅｄ　ｙｏｕ　ｈａｖｅｎ’ｔ　ｌｏｇｇｅｄ　ｉｎ　ｆｏｒ　２　ｗｅｅｋｓ，　ｗｅ’ｒｅ　ｊｕｓｔ　ｃｈｅｃｋｉｎｇ　ｔｏ　ｓｅｅ　ｉｆ　ｅｖｅｒｙｔｈｉｎｇ　ｉｓ　ｏｋａｙ　ａｎｄ　ｗｅ’ｖｅ　ｐｒｅｐａｒｅｄ　ｙｏｕ　ａ　ｌｉｓｔ　ｏｆ　ｖｉｄｅｏｓ　ｆｒｏｍ　ｙｏｕｒ　ｆａｖｏｕｒｉｔｅ　ｃａｔｅｇｏｒｙ　（Ａｓｉａｎ）．　Ｓｅｅ　ｙｏｕ　ｓｏｏｎ！
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

Hitler messages Kripp

twitchquotes: Hey Kripp how's it going, Hitler here. I've heard rumors that you've been MUTING your mic whenever our Nazi propaganda wagon drives through the area! As punishment for your crimes, you will forward some of your Colombian drug funds as tribute to my good friends working at Google+ to restore the Third Reich to its former glory.
twitch chat
July 2014
Kripp
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