[Copypasta] BALDING not MALDING

twitchquotes: Look at all of these non-intellectuals in chat. They struggle so hard to spell simple words such as "bald". They always type "mald" in chat instead. The pure stupidity in chat makes me lose hair in a way in which my hairline recedes aka "BALDING" not "MALDING".
twitch chat
July 2019
(โ–€ฬฟฤนฬฏโ”œโ”ฌโ”ดโ”ฌโ”ด Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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Imagine Fortnite Jonesy in Smash

Imagine this: You're watching the new Nintendo Direct. As it begins you hope to see the new smash reveal, and are hoping you get the character you so desperately wanted, whether it's Crash Bandicoot or Sora. The trailer begins with the classic smash opening. As you watch the trailer, you begin to feel hope that your dream may have come true. But then, at the part where the character is revealed, you hear a bus horn, and wonder "Is it coming from outside?" But no. It's from the trailer. You watch a manly figure drop out of the sky, landing gracefully in front of the characters he is about to defeat. It gazes upon his sharp-bladed pickaxe, his luxurious blond hair, and his shining silver dog tags. As the sun fades away, you finally see who it really was: It was Jonesy from Fortnite. It's a long shot, I know. But imagine.
September 2021

Fortnite

Super Smash Bros

Is Reynad a girly man? Is he Edward from Twilight?

twitchquotes: ๏ผด๏ฝˆ๏ฝ‰๏ฝ“ ๏ฝ‡๏ฝ•๏ฝ™ ๏ฝ„๏ฝ’๏ฝ‰๏ฝŽ๏ฝ‹๏ฝ“ ๏ฝƒ๏ฝ‰๏ฝ„๏ฝ…๏ฝ’ ๏ฝ๏ฝŽ๏ฝ„ ๏ฝƒ๏ฝŒ๏ฝ๏ฝ‰๏ฝ๏ฝ“ ๏ฝ”๏ฝ ๏ฝ‡๏ฝ…๏ฝ” ๏ฝ„๏ฝ’๏ฝ•๏ฝŽ๏ฝ‹ ๏ฝ๏ฝ†๏ฝ† ๏ฝ”๏ฝˆ๏ฝ…๏ฝ๏ผŸ ๏ผฉ๏ฝ“ ๏ฝˆ๏ฝ… ๏ฝ ๏ฝ‡๏ฝ‰๏ฝ’๏ฝŒ๏ฝ™ ๏ฝ๏ฝ๏ฝŽ๏ผŸ ๏ผฉ๏ฝ“ ๏ฝˆ๏ฝ… ๏ฝ ๏ฝ‡๏ฝ๏ฝ™ ๏ฝ๏ฝ๏ฝŽ๏ผŸ ๏ผฉ๏ฝ“ ๏ฝˆ๏ฝ… ๏ฝ…๏ฝ„๏ฝ—๏ฝ๏ฝ’๏ฝ„ ๏ฝ†๏ฝ’๏ฝ๏ฝ ๏ฝ”๏ฝ—๏ฝ‰๏ฝŒ๏ฝ‰๏ฝ‡๏ฝˆ๏ฝ”๏ผŸ
twitch chat
April 2014
Reynad

Halloween Mercy

twitchquotes: ๐Ÿ˜Guys๐Ÿ˜, Iโ€™m ๐Ÿ˜ฒshaking๐Ÿ˜ฒ. Iโ€™m fucking๐Ÿ˜ฒ shaking๐Ÿ˜ฒ. I never wanted to ๐Ÿ‘‰๐Ÿ‘Œ๐Ÿ†๐Ÿ‘breed ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ†๐Ÿ‘‰๐Ÿ‘Œwith anyone more than I want to with ๐ŸŽƒ๐Ÿ‘ปHalloween ๐Ÿ‘ปโœ๏ธMercy.โœ๏ธ๐ŸŽƒ๏ธ That ๐Ÿ’ฏperfect,๐Ÿ’ฏ โณcurvy โณ๐Ÿ˜body.๐Ÿ˜ Those ๐Ÿ˜bountiful๐Ÿ˜ ๐Ÿˆbreasts๐Ÿˆ. The ๐Ÿ‘ชchild ๐Ÿ‘ชbearing๐Ÿ˜ hips๐Ÿ˜ of a ๐Ÿ–ผ๏ธ๐Ÿ’literal goddess๐Ÿ’๐Ÿ–ผ๏ธ. It honestly fucking ๐Ÿ˜ณ๐Ÿ˜ณhurts๐Ÿ˜ณ๐Ÿ˜ณ knowing that Iโ€™ll neverโค๐Ÿ‘…๐Ÿ’‹mate โค๐Ÿ‘…๐Ÿ’‹with her, โฌ†passโฌ† my ๐Ÿ‘–genes๐Ÿ‘– through her, and have her ๐Ÿ‘‘birth๐Ÿ‘‘ a set of ๐Ÿ‘ช๐Ÿ’ฏperfect offspring.๐Ÿ’ฏ๐Ÿ‘ช Iโ€™d do fucking๐Ÿ’ฐ๐Ÿ’ฐ๐Ÿ’ฐ ANYTHING ๐Ÿ’ฐ๐Ÿ’ฐ
twitch chat
June 2017

Emoji Pasta

Overwatch

Kripp is MY MAN

twitchquotes: ๏ผค๏ฝ…๏ฝ๏ฝ’ ๏ผซ๏ฝ’๏ฝ‰๏ฝ๏ฝ๏ผ‡๏ฝ“ ๏ผง๏ฝ๏ฝ™ ๏ผง๏ฝ’๏ฝ…๏ฝ…๏ฝ‹ ๏ผข๏ฝ๏ฝ™๏ฝ†๏ฝ’๏ฝ‰๏ฝ…๏ฝŽ๏ฝ„๏ผŒ ๏ฝ™๏ฝ๏ฝ• ๏ฝ๏ฝ‰๏ฝ…๏ฝƒ๏ฝ… ๏ฝ๏ฝ† ๏ฝ…๏ฝŒ ๏ฝ„๏ฝ๏ฝ‡ ๏ฝ“๏ฝˆ๏ฝ‰๏ฝ”๏ฝ…๏ฝ’๏ฝ‰๏ฝŽ๏ฝ๏ผŽ ๏ผด๏ฝˆ๏ฝ… ๏ผซ๏ฝ’๏ฝ‰๏ฝ๏ฝ ๏ฝ‰๏ฝ“ ๏ผญ๏ผน ๏ผญ๏ผก๏ผฎ๏ผŽ ๏ผก๏ฝŽ๏ฝ„ ๏ฝ™๏ฝ๏ฝ• ๏ฝ‚๏ฝ…๏ฝ”๏ฝ”๏ฝ…๏ฝ’ ๏ฝ‚๏ฝ๏ฝƒ๏ฝ‹ ๏ฝ”๏ฝˆ๏ฝ… ๏ฝ†๏ฝ•๏ฝƒ๏ฝ‹ ๏ฝ๏ฝ†๏ฝ†๏ผŽ ๏ผฐ๏ฝŒ๏ฝš ๏ฝŽ๏ฝ ๏ฝƒ๏ฝ๏ฝ๏ฝ™ ๏ฝ๏ฝ๏ฝ“๏ฝ”๏ฝ…๏ฝ’๏ฝ‰๏ฝŽ๏ฝ ๏ฝ๏ฝŒ ๏ฝ๏ฝ๏ฝƒ๏ฝ‰๏ฝŽ๏ฝ ๏ฝ๏ฝ‰๏ฝ“๏ฝ”๏ฝ๏ฝƒ๏ฝˆ๏ฝ‰๏ฝ
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

Keepo

โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–ˆโ–€โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–‘โ–’โ–“โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–“โ–’โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–’โ–“โ–“โ–€โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘ โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–’โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–’โ–“โ–’โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–‘ โ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–“โ–’โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–„โ–‘ โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–“โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–ˆโ–‘ โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘ โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–€โ–‘ โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–“โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–€โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–“โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘ โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–‘ โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–’โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–„โ–„โ–’โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–’โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–„ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–€ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘
ascii art
November 2014
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