[Copypasta] BALDING not MALDING

twitchquotes: Look at all of these non-intellectuals in chat. They struggle so hard to spell simple words such as "bald". They always type "mald" in chat instead. The pure stupidity in chat makes me lose hair in a way in which my hairline recedes aka "BALDING" not "MALDING".
twitch chat
July 2019
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

This is the Hygiene Police

twitchquotes: (โ–€ฬฟฤนฬฏโ–€ฬฟ ฬฟ) This is the Hygiene Police, we have reason to suspect you didn't wash your hands after exiting the bathroom. Please prepare for a full body cavity search. (โ–€ฬฟฤนฬฏโ–€ฬฟ ฬฟ)
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

Making poops of different shapes

twitchquotes: Sแดแดแด‡แด›ษชแดแด‡s แดกสœแด‡ษด I แด˜แดแดแด˜, I แดœsแด‡ แด›สœแด‡ sสœแด€แด˜ษชษดษข แด€แด›แด›แด€แด„สœแดแด‡ษดแด› า“ส€แดแด แดส แดสŸแด… PสŸแด€ส Dแดสœ า“แดœษด sแด‡แด›. I แด˜สŸแด€แด„แด‡ ษชแด› แดษด แดส แด€ษดแดœs, แด€ษดแด… แดแด€แด‹แด‡ แด˜แดแดแด˜s ษชษด แด…ษชา“า“แด‡ส€แด‡ษดแด› sสœแด€แด˜แด‡s. Tสœแด‡ส€แด‡'s ษดแดแด›สœษชษดษข sแด›ส€แด€ษดษขแด‡ แด€ส™แดแดœแด› แด›สœแด€แด› แด€แด› แด€สŸสŸ. I'แด แด€ษด Aแดแด‡ส€ษชแด„แด€ษด, สŸษชแด ษชษดษข ษชษด Aแดแด‡ส€ษชแด„แด€, แด€ษดแด… ษชา“ I แดกแด€ษดแด› แด›แด สœแด€แด แด‡ แด˜แดแดแด˜s sสœแด€แด˜แด‡แด… สŸษชแด‹แด‡ sแด›แด€ส€s, I สœแด€แด แด‡ แด‡แด แด‡ส€ส ส€ษชษขสœแด› แด›แด. Tสœแด‡ า“แดแดœษดแด…ษชษดษข า“แด€แด›สœแด‡ส€s แดกแดแดœสŸแด… สœแด€แด แด‡ แดกแด€ษดแด›แด‡แด… ษชแด› แด›สœแด€แด› แดกแด€ส.
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

Buying calls on Gamestop

I can't believe that after fifteen years of trading, my best trade of all time is going to be buying calls on fucking Gamestop.
January 2021

WallStreetBets

Patrick Star - I am back

โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–„โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–€โ–’โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–’โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ”€โ”€Iโ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ”€โ–€โ”€โ–’โ”€โ–€โ”€โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ”€โ”€AMโ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ”€โ”€BACK โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–€โ–„โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–„โ”€ โ”€โ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ”€ โ”€โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–„โ–€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–€โ–ˆโ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–ˆโ–€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–€โ–€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–€โ–€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€
August 2015
Kripp

I fucking hate Stuart Little

twitchquotes: I fucking hate Stuart Little. I know what youโ€™re thinking, this is some kind of funny joke, but no. Stuart Little is a piece of shit. A damn rat got picked over actual children at an orphanage and heโ€™s supposed to be a hero? And I canโ€™t even tell you how many damn times Iโ€™ve seen a great parking space only to turn the corner and realise Stuart Little is already parked there in his stupid little fucking convertible. He took my wife and the kids and my house and my job. I swear to fucking god, Iโ€™m going to kill myself and take that goddamn rodent to hell with me. Stuart Little has ruined my family. Last summer, I approached the miserable mouse in the street, and asked him for his autograph, because my son is a huge fan. The fucking rat gave me the autograph and told me to burn in hell. Later, when I gave my son the autograph he started crying and said he hated me. Turns out the mousefucker didnt write his autograph, no, he wrote โ€œyouโ€™re a piece of shit, and i fucked your momโ€. Iโ€™m now divorced, and planning a huge class-action lawsuit against the white devil that ruined my life. Your time is almost over, Stuart. All the people youโ€™ve wronged will rise against you.
twitch chat
May 2020
Text-to-Speech Playing