[Copypasta] BALDING not MALDING

twitchquotes: Look at all of these non-intellectuals in chat. They struggle so hard to spell simple words such as "bald". They always type "mald" in chat instead. The pure stupidity in chat makes me lose hair in a way in which my hairline recedes aka "BALDING" not "MALDING".
twitch chat
July 2019
What happened to this ad? :(
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Caleb, this is Tom from LA Fitness

twitchquotes: Caleb, this is Tom from LA Fitness: we want you to know you are forever banned from our facilities. We understand you take your workout seriously, but what you and your "friends" did in the showers had no cardiovascular value. I know you said you were "working each others glutes", but we both know that's a lie. What you did with the curl bar was disgusting, and our staff is STILL trying to scrub lubricant and bodily fluids off the ceiling. We have added a "Caleb Alarm", don't return.
twitch chat
January 2020
Calebhart42

KappaPride

You have posted a bad meme

twitchquotes: Greetings. It appears as though you have posted a "bad meme". Now, it isn't too late to rectify your error! With these simple steps, you can redeem yourself int he eyes of your internet peers. 1) ctrl + w :)
twitch chat
December 2019

Hey, Mr. Morosan, this is Mike from Video Playground

twitchquotes: Hey, Mr. Morosan, this is Mike from Video Playground, the adult marketplace. You've been ignoring my calls about your outstanding debt of $12.99 for Big Vegan Balls IV. I'm not here to shame or embarrass you for your taste in husky, sweaty man love, but I've got a business to run, and I wouldn't be able to provide you with the entertainment you frequently enjoy if I didn't get paid. Please don't make me revoke your platinum membership.
twitch chat
June 2017
Kripp

ACHOO uh oh you just got the Delta variant!

ACHOOโ€ผ๏ธ๐Ÿคง๐ŸคงWhat was thatโ‰๏ธโ‰๏ธ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜Uh-oh ๐Ÿ˜ฏ looks like you just got ๐Ÿ‘€๐Ÿ‘€ the Delta variant! ๐Ÿ™€๐Ÿ˜œ๐Ÿ˜œ Donโ€™t you know ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธโ‰๏ธ๐Ÿคข๐Ÿค•๐Ÿค’๐Ÿคค the world ๐ŸŒ HOE Organization ๐Ÿ™ˆ๐Ÿ‘… called it the most DOMINANT ๐Ÿ‘Š๐Ÿผ๐Ÿ‘Š๐Ÿผ strain since the start of the ๐Ÿ—“ PANTIE-DEMIC ๐Ÿ‘„๐Ÿ‘Œ๐Ÿ‘ˆ No more touching daddy ๐Ÿ˜ฉ๐Ÿ˜ฉ ๐Ÿง“๐Ÿผ until you wash ๐Ÿงฝ๐Ÿงฝyour dirty ๐Ÿพnasty ๐Ÿคข little ๐Ÿคž๐Ÿผfingers โœ‹๐Ÿป๐Ÿคš๐Ÿปโœ‹๐Ÿป๐Ÿคš๐Ÿปfor 6๏ธโƒฃ9๏ธโƒฃ seconds with sHOEp ๐Ÿงผ and water ๐Ÿ’ง ๐Ÿ‘… otherwise it doesnโ€™t count ๐Ÿคก๐Ÿคก๐Ÿคก Time to stop ๐Ÿ›‘ spreading the germs ๐Ÿคฎ๐Ÿฅด๐Ÿค’and start spreading ๐Ÿ˜งyour legs๐Ÿคค๐Ÿฆถ๐Ÿฝ๐Ÿฆต๐Ÿปbecause everyone ๐Ÿ‘ฉโ€๐Ÿฆฐ๐Ÿ‘จโ€๐Ÿซ๐Ÿฆน๐Ÿพโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿงœ๐Ÿผโ€โ™‚๏ธhas to keep TWERKING ๐Ÿ˜ˆ๐Ÿ˜ˆfrom home! ๐Ÿก SEND THIS TO 1๏ธโƒฃ0๏ธโƒฃ other coronavirus cucks ๐Ÿ‘‰๐Ÿพ๐Ÿ‘Œ๐Ÿปotherwise Fuckboy Fauci ๐Ÿ™€๐Ÿ™€ is cumming for you ๐Ÿ†๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ†
August 2021

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Coronavirus

COVID

I would like to inform you that I busted a huge nut to your shot

I would like to inform you that I busted a huge nut to your shot. My earth shattering orgasm started making me moan loud enough to deafen anyone in the near vicinity. What followed was a torrential downpour of every single sperm cell I ever have or will ever produce, shot out so hard that it ripped my dick apart by my รผbernut accelerating to 7% the speed of light by the time it left my urethra. The sheer weight of this historical nut, combined with the total destruction of everything in its path, caused my building to collapse, and every female in the city to fall pregnant with my children. As I lay dying under the rubble, I rest assured knowing every one of my sons will repeat this glorious act.
January 2024
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