[Copypasta] BALDING not MALDING

twitchquotes: Look at all of these non-intellectuals in chat. They struggle so hard to spell simple words such as "bald". They always type "mald" in chat instead. The pure stupidity in chat makes me lose hair in a way in which my hairline recedes aka "BALDING" not "MALDING".
twitch chat
July 2019
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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This is an absolutely worthless comment

This is an absolutely worthless comment, and yet it has been upvoted. You have contributed absolutely nothing to any semblance of discussion, and your one word comment at the top has taken away from the others who have commented real things below you. I would kindly suggest that you delete your comment and let the others shine
May 2022

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Biden x Trump smut fanfic

August 2021

Donald Trump

Joe Biden

MOM I NEED V-BUCKS

twitchquotes: ❗️✋ OK MOM ✋❗️WE NEED TO TALK 😡😤 I NEED V-BUCKS 😜💵 I'VE MADE STRAIGHT A'S 😎🤨 I'VE CLEANED MY ROOM 😫🤬 I'VE TAKEN OUT THE TRASH 🗑️🔫 I CUT THE CATS ASSHOLE HAIR 😏👏 NOW I NEED YOU 🧐👉 TO BUY ME V-BUCKS 😎🔥 I'VE GOTTA SHOW 🤯🤬 MY CLOUT ON FORTNITE 🔥😎💯 NOW I'LL BE IN BED 😴💤 BY NINE BECAUSE IT'S A SCHOOL NIGHT 😔📚🚸
twitch chat
November 2018

Fortnite

Jacked off in the shower while laying down in the tub

Jacked off in the shower while laying down in the tub -- shower water raining down from above. It was very nice and ended nicely. Later that day, I went to take a shit. Shit wouldn't come out, and I felt an odd tugging sensation between my ass cheeks. Thought I was dying and started freaking out while I tried to pinch my shit off to investigate. Turns out my jizz had found its way into my ass cheeks while laying down in the tub, mingled with all my ass hair, and solidified into a gelatinous plaster. Upon shitting, the hair was so fucked together that my cheeks couldn't separate for the shit to emerge (felt like that playdoh hair salon toy). I ended up having such a massacre of shitcum on my ass and hands that I had to get back in the shower just to clean off.
December 2020

bri'ish accent

stabbed: Oit there mate, bit rude to put that knoife in me chest innit? chewsday: It's chewsday innit? BLM: Black lives ma-a spiderman: peta paka ffs: fuh funk saek ROIGHT wots oll dis den Covid-19: Cowvid Nointeen fuck you: funk yew sub to youtube: subscribe to my youchube you look beautyfull: yu luuk beutiful loaf you gotta be jk: yoove gOHt to be joe king math is hard: mafffmatic is hard, innit!? i saw a film: I soar a film not botherd: I'm not movered harry potter: arry pah uh my son is now foh yes old nice art: Roight, look aat thi meauchiful bloody wohk of aaaht mtdew: mointain jew
April 2021
Text-to-Speech Playing