[Copypasta] BALDING not MALDING

twitchquotes: Look at all of these non-intellectuals in chat. They struggle so hard to spell simple words such as "bald". They always type "mald" in chat instead. The pure stupidity in chat makes me lose hair in a way in which my hairline recedes aka "BALDING" not "MALDING".
twitch chat
July 2019
I used to be a real ad
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A reply to 'k'

K? K what? The letter before L? The letter after J? Did you know that in JK the K stands for “kidding?” So your reply is “kidding?” or K as in Potassium? Do you need some Special K for breakfast? K as in I can K/O you? Can I knock you out and feed you to hungry sharks? Sharks have a K in it. "K"? Are you fucking kidding me? I spent a decent portion of my life writing all of that and your response to me is "K"? Are you so mentally handicapped that the only letter you can comprehend is "K" - or are you just some fucking asshole who thinks that with such a short response, he can make a statement about how meaningless what was written was? Well, I'll have you know that what I wrote was NOT meaningless, in fact, I even had my written work proof-read by several professors of literature. Don't believe me? I doubt you would, and your response to this will probably be "K" once again. Do I give a fuck? No, does it look like I give even the slightest fuck about a single letter? I bet you took the time to type that one letter too, I bet you sat there and chuckled to yourself for 20 hearty seconds before pressing "send". You're so fucking pathetic. I'm honestly considering directing you to a psychiatrist, but I'm simply far too nice to do something like that. You, however, will go out of your way to make a fool out of someone by responding to a well-thought-out, intelligent, or humorous statement that probably took longer to write than you can last in bed with a chimpanzee. What do I have to say to you? Absolutely nothing. I couldn't be bothered to respond to such a worthless attempt at a response. Do you want "K" on your gravestone? Do you want people to remember you as the asshat who one day decided to respond to someone with a single letter? "Hey, look, everybody! It's that "K" guy!" That's who you are. You're going to be known as the "K" guy. How does it feel? Do you feel happy? Quite honestly, I don't care, which is why I'm not even going to respond to you. Goodbye, and good luck with your future as that guy who said "K".
April 2021

When chat spam my kripp stream crashes

twitchquotes: Hey guys. I am living in poor family with low interneting and very cheap pc barely handle kripp stream at 5 fps and when chat spam my kripp stream crashes so please dont spam the chat thank you.
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Leaf Of Legend

twitchquotes: Hello mr michael "ImAPie" santana i am writing to tell you how removing adblock make me better at "Leaf Of Legend". i remove adblock and see add for "Skillcap". Skillcap help me become bestest LoL player in Somalia - Bronze 4. Worth sell wife.
twitch chat
December 2014
imaqtpie

Tyler1 McDonald's order

twitchquotes: 2 McDoubles without onions, a McChicken plain, medium fries, 2 apple pies, and an Oreo McFlurry.
twitch chat
March 2018
Tyler1

God I want Zarya to be real

twitchquotes: God I want Zarya to be real, I want her large feet to smash my head. I want her muscular thighs to squash my head. It brings me to a near orgasmic feeling by just thinking about her and her muscular toned body. If Activision Blizzard made sexdolls, I would buy every Zarya model for myself and never leave my mom's basement. Fuck I just want Zarya to be real
twitch chat
June 2017

Overwatch

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