[Copypasta] BALDING not MALDING

twitchquotes: Look at all of these non-intellectuals in chat. They struggle so hard to spell simple words such as "bald". They always type "mald" in chat instead. The pure stupidity in chat makes me lose hair in a way in which my hairline recedes aka "BALDING" not "MALDING".
twitch chat
July 2019
I used to be a real ad
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I went to see Cars in the theater yesterday

Ok, this is ABSOLUTE fucking bullshit. I went to see Cars in the theater yesterday, and when Lightning McQueen got HOT with Sally in Radiator Springs, my boner engaged. When Lightning McQueen said "Ka-Chow!", I couldn't help it!!! I closed my eyes, and I TORE my dick to shreds, using whip like motions and pulled with great force. That was one of the best nuts I ever had, just thinking about it now gets me riled up. Thing is, I nutted all over the kid sitting right next to me, and his mom got all pissed at me, screaming at me for jacking off on her son. I told that bitch to shut the fuck up, and that jacking off is a natural, artistic, and beautiful process. You should BE HAPPY that my semen is all over your son, maybe he can learn a lesson or two about the culture and art of jacking off. HOWEVER, the movie theater managers didn't agree with me. They KICKED ME OUT of the movie theater, and I didn't even finish watching the Cars movie. Not only THAT, but they made me clean up my semen after it already dried out and solidified on the seats. THATS TORTURE!! Do you know how hard it is to clean semen after its dried out? You CLEAN semen after its FRESH out of your cock, not an hour after you fucking nutted. This is a fucking OUTRAGE. Do you really expect me to not whip out my cock and jack off when i see a HOT sex scene in a movie? Either don't ban sex scenes in movies, or LET ME jack off in your theater, assholes.
December 2020

JUSTICE RAINS FROM ABOVE

twitchquotes: ヽJUSTICE｀、｀RAINSγƒ½ο½€γƒ½γƒ½β˜‚ PogChamp β˜‚ ヽヽFROMヽ｀ヽ｀、｀ABOVEヽ｀
twitch chat
February 2017

Overwatch

NaM emote

β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–„β–‘ β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–“β–“β–“β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–“β–“β–‘β–ˆβ–„ β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–“β–“β–“β–’β–’β–’β–„β–„β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–„β–„β–’β–’β–“β–“β–‘β–ˆ β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–“β–“β–’β–’β–’β–€β–’β–„β–„β–’β–’β–’β–€β–’β–„β–„β–’β–“β–„β–‘β–ˆ β–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–’β–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–“β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘ β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–“β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–’β–’β–ˆβ–€β–ˆ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–“β–„β–‘β–€β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–’β–“β–‘β–ˆ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–’β–‘β–’β–’β–„β–“β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–“β–„β–’β–“β–‘β–ˆ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–’β–‘β–’β–’β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–’β–’β–“β–‘β–€β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘
ascii art
October 2018

Response to a your mom joke

I do not care what you say about my mother. Your opinion is your opinion. But trust me, if you actually attempt to do something to my mother, even though she's made some bad decisions in the past that we still need to work through, I will personally call the police on you and I'll be laughing as your mugshot is shown on TV. You don't even know her, do you? The point of your entire existence seems to be to just tease other people. Well, I believe your jokes are in bad taste, and you should cease and desist digging through the dregs left at the bottom of the joke barrel; you could get a splinter, whose pain will be significantly increased by the significantly high amount of salt you carry in your bloodstream. Thank you, and let us cease talking about each other's parents.
December 2020

Team Liquid visited an orphanage in Taipei

twitchquotes: After their game, Team Liquid visited an orphanage in Taipei. "It's heartbreaking to see their sad little faces with no hope", said Charlie, age 6.
twitch chat
May 2019
Riot Games

Classic

League of Legends

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