[Copypasta] BALDING not MALDING

twitchquotes: Look at all of these non-intellectuals in chat. They struggle so hard to spell simple words such as "bald". They always type "mald" in chat instead. The pure stupidity in chat makes me lose hair in a way in which my hairline recedes aka "BALDING" not "MALDING".
twitch chat
July 2019
What happened to this ad? :(
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Attention all Smash Bros Gamers, Kirby is in great danger

twitchquotes: Attention all Smash Bros Gamers, Kirby is in great danger, and he needs YOUR help to save all the innocent characters murdered and possessed by Galeem. To do this, he needs a Warp Star and a couple of Maximum Tomatoes. To help him, all he needs is your credit card number, the three numbers on the back, and the expiration month and date. But you gotta be quick so that Kirby can secure the Spirits, and save billions of video game characters you know and love!
twitch chat
February 2019

Super Smash Bros

Pikachu eyes

β™‚β™€β™‚β™€β™‚β™€β™‚β™€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–„β–„β™‚β™€β™‚β™€β™‚β™€β™‚β™€β™‚β™€β™‚β™€β™‚β™€β–„β–ˆ β™€β™‚β™€β™‚β™€β™‚β™€β™‚β™€β™‚β–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β™‚β™€β™‚β™€β–„β–„β–€β–€β–ˆ β™‚β™€β™‚β–„β™‚β™€β™‚β™€β™‚β™€β™‚β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–€β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–„β–€ ♀▄▀░▀▄♀♂♀♂♀♂▀▄░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░▀▄▀ β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ™€β™‚β™€β™‚β™€β™‚β–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆ β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β™‚β™€β™‚β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ πŸ‘οΈ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ πŸ‘οΈ β–ˆ β™‚β™€β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β™‚β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–‘β–‘β–„β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–‘β–ˆ β™€β™‚β™€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–„β–€β™€β™‚β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–‘β–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–„β–€ β™‚β™€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ™€β™‚β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„
ascii art
September 2018

Pokemon

Hello Kripp, I am a casual player

twitchquotes: (ΰΈ‡ β—‰β—‘β—”)ΰΈ‡ Hello Kripp. I am a casual player who always managed to get 1-3 in arena. I wanted to know if you want to hire me, I could train you to be better in arena, and maybe one day, you could manage to have 1-3 as I do. My prices are 15$ per hour. Just PM me if you are interested. (ΰΈ‡ β—‰β—‘β—”)ΰΈ‡
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp

I hate April Fool's Day

I’m fucking shaking and crying right now y’all, and people aren’t taking me seriously. This is a DUMB FUCKING HOLIDAY, where people say shit that ISN’T FUCKING REAL for NO REASON. I’ve cut off 8 family members already for falling for this shriveled up, half-assed ANNUAL CORPORATE FIG LEAF like the NPC SHEEP THEY ARE. Maybe if they listened to REAL COMEDY like Bill Maher or political satire that validates what I already believe in, they’d be WORTHY OF INTERACTING WITH. BUT NO, I have to scroll through my timeline, seething, wailing and gnashing my teeth as I’m BOMBARDED BY LOW EFFORT CORNY CAPITALIST PROPOGANDA. THIS IS A SERIOUS DAY. I’m allowed to be this pressed about ha-ha corny joke day because IT’S SERIOUS FOR ME AND THEREFORE SHOULD BE FOR EVERYONE. My great uncle was tragically flattened while trying to rob a coca-cola vending machine on this date, and PEOPLE ARE STILL MAKING CORNU FUKUNG JOKES. I’ve had enough
April 2021

Coming out as morbsexual

In honor of Pride Month, I am here to say that it's morbin' time. Today, my fellow morbheads, we rise. I am proud to come out and express my true morbdentity to the world at this very morbment. I am a morbphile and I identify myself as morbsexual. My pronouns are morb/ius.
June 2022

Morbius

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