[Copypasta] i peed white

twitchquotes: i peed white widepeepoHappy
twitch chat
July 2019
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More Copypastas

My girlfriend’s dad is a banking exec (post on /r/cryptocurrency)

My girlfriend’s dad is a banking exec, I told him I’m all in on crypto He and I met yesterday. He is a kind and mild mannered guy who comes off as deeply intelligent. I asked him how he felt about decentralized finance and he said it was a risky venture (no surprise from his banking point of view) and anyone putting money into it is a fool. He seemed disappointed that his daughter’s boyfriend wanted to talk about crypto. For me, crypto has fundamentally changed my life - it has taught me about finance, geopolitics, and that I have the agency to live a life I wasn’t sure was possible. So, when he seemed disappointed, what did I do? I doubled down. I gave an impassioned speech about why cryptocurrency is changing the world and democratizing resources that traditionally only the wealthy had access to. It is giving poor communities a fighting chance and that it is revolutionary and something that is a big part of my investment strategy. I don’t know what the point of this post is, but I just, idk, he made me feel like a fool of an investor because he either just doesn’t get it or is scared of it and I feel like his view of me has become less favorable in terms of dating his daughter, but I’m going to stand up for what I believe in. Ramble over.
September 2021

Cryptocurrency

Wife attack AITA?

I (46M) was having lunch (lasagna) with my side chick (42F) on a lovely day (23°C) when all of a sudden my wife (44F) of 35 years barges in and starts attacking me (46M). Wtf (what the fuck) was she thinking I had been having sex with my side chick (42F) every other weekend it's not like I was doing this every day. She (44F) then starts attacking her (42F) and the wait staff (32M, 26M and 29M) have to intervene. Completely ruined my lunch. AITA?
December 2019

Am I The Asshole?

Why did I marry this angry bald internet man?

twitchquotes: It’s 11 p.m. and i've finally gotten comfortable in bed. It's been a long day and finally being able to get some rest is such a luxury. But my peace is soon broken as my husband shouts from the other room "OH COME ON! That was such BULLSHIT! Fucking highrolled AGAIN." Why did i do this to myself. Why did I marry this angry bald internet man? I haven't slept properly in months for his constant yelling throughout the night. God help me.
twitch chat
September 2020
Kripp

Bongo cat 1

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣷⣦⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣶⣦⣀⡀⠀⢀⣴⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⠛⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣿⣯⣭⣬⣉⣽⣿⣿⣄⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀⠀ ⠀⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄ ⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠋⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠁⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠉⠉⠉⠉⠁ ⠘⠛⠛⠛⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠛⠛⠛⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
April 2021

Vaporeon

Hey guys, did you know that in terms of male human and female Pokémon breeding, Vaporeon is the most compatible Pokémon for humans? Not only are they in the field egg group, which is mostly comprised of mammals, Vaporeon are an average of 3”03’ tall and 63.9 pounds, this means they’re large enough to be able handle human dicks, and with their impressive Base Stats for HP and access to Acid Armor, you can be rough with one. Due to their mostly water based biology, there’s no doubt in my mind that an aroused Vaporeon would be incredibly wet, so wet that you could easily have sex with one for hours without getting sore. They can also learn the moves Attract, Baby-Doll Eyes, Captivate, Charm, and Tail Whip, along with not having fur to hide nipples, so it’d be incredibly easy for one to get you in the mood. With their abilities Water Absorb and Hydration, they can easily recover from fatigue with enough water. No other Pokémon comes close to this level of compatibility. Also, fun fact, if you pull out enough, you can make your Vaporeon turn white. Vaporeon is literally built for human dick. Ungodly defense stat+high HP pool+Acid Armor means it can take cock all day, all shapes and sizes and still come for more
November 2020

Pokemon

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