[Copypasta] Muffins the dog in love with cats

twitchquotes: I'm muffins! i'm a dog that is in LOVE with cats! That's right! I know it sounds crazy because floofy doogos aren't supposed to breed with sassy kitties but I grew up with them and have just never really wanted anything to o with other puppers. It just feels so good to be a big strong dog loving a slender and fragile kitty! I can't help myself! Their long tail seductively swishing effortlessly through the air... I'm getting too excited now! I need to go to the park! I'm going to go play now!
twitch chat
July 2019
What happened to this ad? :(
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Trainwrecks that's true

twitchquotes: True aaaaaaaaaaaand... Yeah, that's pretty true. That's true and- yeah that's true. That's true. That's true- That's pretty true. That's pretty true, I mean-... That's true. Yeah. That's true. Uhm- That's true. That's fuckin' true. Uhm... That's how it is dude
twitch chat
February 2020
Trainwreckstv

joe biden said he was the impostor

I πŸ‘ met joe biden at πŸ‘ΈπŸ’¦ 3 πŸŽ†πŸ•‘ am πŸ‘ he said πŸ’¬πŸ–• he was the πŸ„πŸ€› impostor guys β™‚ should πŸ‘ŒπŸ‘« i πŸ‘† believe 🏻 him πŸ‘¨πŸ˜© im 🏼 soo scared ❌ i dont 😑 know πŸ€”β“ what to πŸ‘πŸšΆ do πŸ‘Œ help πŸ’ me πŸ’‹ out. πŸ€”
July 2021

Emoji Pasta

BionicBunion

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ascii art
November 2014
patashu

Just as the founding fathers intended

I own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended.
November 2020
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