[Copypasta] Muffins the dog in love with cats

twitchquotes: I'm muffins! i'm a dog that is in LOVE with cats! That's right! I know it sounds crazy because floofy doogos aren't supposed to breed with sassy kitties but I grew up with them and have just never really wanted anything to o with other puppers. It just feels so good to be a big strong dog loving a slender and fragile kitty! I can't help myself! Their long tail seductively swishing effortlessly through the air... I'm getting too excited now! I need to go to the park! I'm going to go play now!
twitch chat
July 2019
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

paul "scarra" walker

twitchquotes: Yesterday we lost a good man. I'm of course talking about Paul "Scarra" Walker. He was on his way home from raising his dongers when a drunk driver named Marcus "Dyrone" Hill crashed into him. Dyrone has now been placed into custody.
twitch chat
July 2014
Dyrus

What if TF2 injuries were more realistic?

Just imagine: You are playing 2fort as RED team and pick heavy, you get out of spawn when suddenly a Pyro with the Homewrecker hits you square on the head. Your Heavy falls down and makes a weird snoring sound and has a nasty gash in his head with clear fluid running out of his ears. Then for like 30 minutes the screen goes black and you hear Heavy being transported into an ambulance. After the 30 mins Heavy opens his eyes a little. It looks like hes in the ICU and is currently getting artificially ventilated. Then the screen goes black again for 3 days until Heavy opens his eyes a little to see a woman, presumably heavys wife, crying beside his bed. She says something but it seems like Heavy doesnt understand anything she is saying, only thing you clearly make out is "permanent brain damage" and how sorry she is for never talking you out of your Mercenary profession. Then the screen goes black for another 5 months with some short times of conciousness inbetween until you see the same woman with 2 kids talking to your doctor in the ICU. All you can make out is that they decided to end your suffering and pull the plug. The last thing you see is heavys eyes closing, until you suddenly respawn in RED Spawn.
January 2021

TSM aka "Truly Somewhat Mediocre"

TSM aka "Truly Somewhat Mediocre" is a North American team that consistently underperforms in all international tournaments. It is specifically known for having a weak early, mid, and late-game.
February 2022

League of Legends

forsenX WutFace

⣿⡉⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢟⣛⣛⠛⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿ ⠿⠓⠄⢁⣤⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢋⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠈⠙⣿ ⣷⣿⣷⡀⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠱⠮⠽⡍⣙⡿⣟⠋⠥⠄⠄⠸ ⣿⣿⣿⣧⣴⣀⠈⠛⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⣾⣾⣿⡿⢿⠧⢸⣶⣄⠠⠄⢀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⡖⣧⡄⠈⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⣿⣿⣿⣷⡶⠶⠄⢿⡿⠄⠄⢸ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣻⡟⠄⠄⠈⠙⠛⠿⢿⣿⣿⡄⠙⣿⣏⣀⣠⡀⠄⣸⠇⠄⢠⣾ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡅⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣷⡀⠛⠿⠿⠿⠃⠄⠏⠄⣤⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣠⣀⠄⡀⡂⣠⠄⣿⣿⣦⣄⣀⣀⣀⣀⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿
November 2021
Forsen

Emote

SCP Jerma

Item #: SCP-985-J Object Class: Euclid Special Contain Procedures: SCP-985-J must be kept in a standard humanoid containment cell decorated to look like an average American household with a live video feed. SCP-985-J must be fed BrainFluud once every 6 hours for sustenance. Personnel assigned to SCP-985-J must refrain from using the words "Short Streamer" "Late" "Loud Pee" and "Bald" as this can agitate SCP-985-J, causing it to enter an enraged state. SCP-985-J is allowed access to one (1) Garfield comic strip per day for entertainment. Description: SCP-985-J is a 32 year old Caucasian male from Boston, MA. SCP-985-J refers to itself as "Jeremy Elbertson" and believes itself to be much taller than it appears to others, referring to itself as being "not tiny" and "compact". SCP-985-J was discovered by the Foundation on ██/██/201█ when footage emerged of it attacking and killing [DATA EXPUNGED]. MTF Gamma-43 ("Anti-Jerms") was dispatched to secure the anomaly and all civilians who had viewed the footage were amnesticized.
January 2022
Jerma985
Text-to-Speech Playing