[Copypasta] Muffins the dog in love with cats

twitchquotes: I'm muffins! i'm a dog that is in LOVE with cats! That's right! I know it sounds crazy because floofy doogos aren't supposed to breed with sassy kitties but I grew up with them and have just never really wanted anything to o with other puppers. It just feels so good to be a big strong dog loving a slender and fragile kitty! I can't help myself! Their long tail seductively swishing effortlessly through the air... I'm getting too excited now! I need to go to the park! I'm going to go play now!
twitch chat
July 2019
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

What if we make Firelands Portal a common?

twitchquotes: "How did Kripp get 12 wins?" Ben Brode demanded at the board meeting. "You were supposed to be monitoring him, Charlie." "Sorry, I must've fallen asleep. He was streaming some boring action-RPG earlier today." Ben Brode frowned. "The salt shortage is cutting into our profits. We're going to need a solution, quick." Sarah raised her hand. "What if we make Firelands Portal a common?"
twitch chat
August 2016
Kripp

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nature has molded females to become a holy being

nature has molded females to become a holy being. they must be worshipped at all costs. since they lack the barbaric y chromosome and testosterone, they are unaggressive and thus good people. they are prophets, they are guides. questioning them is foolish and expecting 💦 for free is blasphemy. i will protect women at all costs and sacrifice everything for them because even their motherhood is a natural wonder. simping is a way of life. it is worship. would you make fun of a muslim for praying? then don't make fun of me either
October 2021

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Stimulus talks going well in 2946

The year is 2946, Robot Mitch McConnel and Cyborg Nancy Pelosi report stimulus talks going well. The Dow rewards them and hits 6.02 x 1023.
December 2020

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Survival Arena Developer messages Kripp

twitchquotes: (Survival Arena™ Developer): Hey Kripp! Just popping on to make sure you started streaming our game on time. Remember to wear your Survival Arena shirt and don't forget our little 'arrangement' later tonight at the motel.
twitch chat
May 2017

sellout

Type !sellout to receive your free brofist

twitchquotes: Kripparrian is giving away TWO BROFISTS during this week’s Hyper X giveaway! Type !sellout to receive your free brofist or some RAM or whatever. Remember to subscribe, follow and no copypasta focaccia lasagna
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp

sellout

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