[Copypasta] Muffins the dog in love with cats

twitchquotes: I'm muffins! i'm a dog that is in LOVE with cats! That's right! I know it sounds crazy because floofy doogos aren't supposed to breed with sassy kitties but I grew up with them and have just never really wanted anything to o with other puppers. It just feels so good to be a big strong dog loving a slender and fragile kitty! I can't help myself! Their long tail seductively swishing effortlessly through the air... I'm getting too excited now! I need to go to the park! I'm going to go play now!
twitch chat
July 2019
(β–€ΜΏΔΉΜ―β”œβ”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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Google employees complaints

Reading Google employees complaints about workplace is like watching Becky cry on social media how her life's ruined when she only got a new Hyundai for graduation instead of the audi she asked. Bitch give me that 300k job and I will deal with "my voice not being heard" all day every day.
January 2021

WallStreetBets

How did you manage to get out of jail so quickly

twitchquotes: Kripp! Its Andrew from that college party last year. Man I haven't seen you in forever! How did you manage to get out of jail so quickly after beating up that defenseless hooker?!
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

For people that use "XD"

twitchquotes: But the real question is, when this musing entered your mind, did you really make such a face? Was it so funny that your face contorted into a gaping wide-mouthed smile as your eyes aggressively squinted shut? Did you truly "ex dee"? Were you able to see your screen as you typed with your eyes held steadfast as though they were steel vice grips clamping with hundreds of pounds of force?
twitch chat
February 2019

Foreign volunteers in Ukraine (variation of original chicken nuggets copypasta)

Holy shit. My commanding officer came into my barracks to bring me an MRE and I literally screamed at her and hit the plate of rations out of her hand. She started yelling and swearing at me in Ukrainian which I didn't understand and I slammed the door on her. I'm so distressed right now I don't know what to do. I didn't mean to do that to my superior officer but I'm literally in shock from the cruise missile strike. I feel like I'm going to explode. Why the fucking fuck is Zelenskyy losing? This can't be happening. I'm having a fucking breakdown. I don't want to believe the world is so corrupt that nato won't impose a no fly zone. I want a future to believe in. I want Zelenskyy to be president of a united Ukraine and fix this broken country. I cannot fucking deal with this right now. It wasn't supposed to be like this, I thought we had anti air coverage in western Ukraine???? This is so fucked.
March 2022

Russian Ukrainian War

Principle of explosion

We know that "Not all lemons are yellow", as it has been assumed to be true. We know that "All lemons are yellow", as it has been assumed to be true. Therefore, the two-part statement "All lemons are yellow OR unicorns exist" must also be true, since the first part "All lemons are yellow" of the two-part statement is true (as this has been assumed). However, since we know that "Not all lemons are yellow" (as this has been assumed), the first part is false, and hence the second part must be true.
August 2021
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