[Copypasta] thank you for slow mode

twitchquotes: thank you for slow mode. im an old man and chat scrolling so fast makes it hard to keep up. thank you again from a 56 year old veteran.
twitch chat
May 2019
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More Copypastas

Hey you, it's Tanner from highschool

twitchquotes: Hey you, it's Tanner from highschool, remember me, dork? I thought I'd pop in after finishing my first 60 reps at the gym - y'know, that place REAL men go to? Anyways, guess you're still playing video games - AS USUAL. Have a nice life, "gamer"
twitch chat
July 2019

Tanner from High School

Response to "go fuck yourself"

What if I'm already fucking myself? Behind this simple insult hides a universal paradox that may put your sexuality in question. Let's do a simple thought experiment: imagine us two standing in front of each other. I, of course, am wearing a pair of jeans, that are covering my genitals and my butt. You then command me to "go fuck myself". I may be fucking myself already. I may as well not be fucking myself already. Until my dick and its position relative to my ass is observed, it is simultaneously in my ass, but also outside of it - thus, it stays in superposition. The moment you lay eyes on my penis, both states collide with each other and become either one. You may have already guessed what the problem here is. As soon as a single photon reflected by my dick enters either one of your eyes, you become gay. The only way to avoid this is to not observe my penis. But if you don't look at it, then you will never know if your insult had any effect, thus rendering it meaningless. Since you have already made the insult, you are now, too, in superposition - you're either wrong, or gay. It's unfortunate, really - you dug a hole for yourself without even knowing it. All you can do now is accept it, and learn from your mistakes.
April 2020

Classic

Sigma male schedule

2:00 am- Wake up 2.05am-Cold shower 2.15am-breakfast,almonds, breast milk bought off Facebook, 50mg adderall 2:30am- begin workout,incline bench 2 plates,12x12 with 30 seconds of rest, no warmup. 2:45am-edging,4hrs (for disipline) 6:45am-cold shower 7:00am-begin sprint to work 8:00am-arrive at work 8:05am-get called into boss' office 8:06am-get fired from job for "repeated inappropriate comments" and "predatory behaviour" 8:10am-sprint back home 9:10am- lunch-raw cod, berries foraged on the way home, small pebbles (for digestion),50mg of adderal 9:10am-edging(as punishment) 3:00pm- bed time
August 2021

xqcL

⠀⠀⠀⣠⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣶⣄⣀⣀⣤⣶⣶⣦⣤⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀⠀⠀⠀ ⢀⣼⣿⡟⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠛⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠟⠛⠳⠂⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⠟⠉⠉⠛⠛⠓⠀⠉⠻⣿⣿⣿⡿⢀⡄⠲⠶⢶⣶⠀ ⣿⣿⣷⣤⣤⣄⣀⣀⡘⠁⠀⣠⣿⣿⣯⡀⢹⡀⢀⣀⣠⡽⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠁⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣍⡉⠉⠉⠉⠙⠛⠛⠾⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀ ⠛⠉⠉⠉⠛⠓⠲⢶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣦⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⡶⠁⠀⠀ ⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣄⡈⠙⢿⠿⠛⠋⠉⠉⠉⠙⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⠀⠀⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣶⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀ ⡿⠿⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀ ⣀⣴⣶⣦⡄⠉⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠉⣉⡉⠙⢻⣿⣿⡟⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⡿⠛⢁⣤⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠈⣿⣿⣧⠀⠙⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀
December 2020
xQcOW

I’m struggling to accept religious people as human (/r/atheism parody)

This has been growing in me for a while, but the more I see what’s going on in africa and the middle east, and all the bullshit around the world in the name of religion, I’ve gotten to a point where I’m looking at all religious people as not even human. I don’t know if I quite see them as livestock or wild animals or whatever, but it’s pretty close to it. I still don’t understand why people say to respect other people’s religious beliefs. I certainly don’t. I actually think religious beliefs should be mocked, ripped apart, criticized relentlessly, and actually probably be made illegal. I hope to see a future where believers are looked at as mentally ill and mentally retarded, who need to be locked up and treated, or sent to jail. I’m just so disgusted by all of them.
June 2021
Text-to-Speech Playing