[Copypasta] Copypasta being funny is just incomprehensible

twitchquotes: I always thought comedy was something I could never lose my grasp on, but "Copypasta" being funny to anybody is just incomprehensible.
twitch chat
April 2019
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

How do I properly get rid of a life size sex doll?

I bought a $1000+ sex doll which weighs almost 100 pounds and has a metal skeleton and silicone outside. It's like 5'3 and looks very realistic. I bought it when I was drunk like 2 years ago and didn't cancel the order the next day as I forgot I even ordered it; it showed up on my doorstep like 10 days later in a huge box... I tried to use it once but it is impossible to use because its so cold lol. I have it buried under clothes that I don't wear anymore in my walk-in closet for almost 2 years and every time I have a girl over I have to keep the closet locked and I even have to tell my cleaner to clean all rooms aside from my walk-in closet as I am embarrassed by it. I NEVER litter but I don't know what to do with it. I really want to put it in the back of my truck and dump it in the woods somewhere but I know that is a shit thing to do and will not do it. How can I dispose of it in a environmentally safe way without driving to a dump and looking like I am disposing of a dead body or having the workers laugh at me? I can't cut it up into pieces and put it into trash bags as the skeleton is metal and I just don't have the tools to do it; its a really legit sex doll it is super high quality. My apartment complex has a huge dumpster but its all on camera; should I just go there super late at night and throw it in there? The dumpster is on camera and its for "trash only" it says no metal and no boxes. Anyone have an answer on how to dispose of this thing by myself, quietly and without anyone seeing me? Thanks !! EDIT: Lots of weirdos getting angry at me because I "fabricated this" story/question. She just got a (SFW) photo shoot for you so shut up. https://ibb.co/album/xKkCs1
July 2021

You have been gifted a subscription.

twitchquotes: โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€” TwitchVotes You have been gifted a subscription. Type !claim to activateโ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”
twitch chat
August 2018

Classic

Cinco de Mayo Emoji Pasta v3

Itโ€™s the end of May the Fourth 4๏ธโƒฃ ๐ŸŒŒ๐Ÿ˜ซ but that means the beginning of ๐ŸŽธ๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿพ๐ŸŒตCincHOE de Mayo ๐ŸŽธ๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿพ๐ŸŒต get ready to get your TACO eaten ๐Ÿ‘…๐Ÿ’ฆ๐ŸŒฎ and gulp Papi's BURRITO ๐Ÿ˜ฉ๐ŸŒฏ๐Ÿ’ฆ send this to 1๏ธโƒฃ0๏ธโƒฃ of your main ๐Ÿ’…๐ŸพPUTAS ๐Ÿ’…๐Ÿพwho need to be stuffed by a CHORIZO ๐ŸŒญ๐Ÿ’ฆ if you get 5๏ธโƒฃ back you're a border hopping ๐Ÿ’๐ŸฝCHOLA ๐Ÿ’๐ŸฝIf you get 1๏ธโƒฃ0๏ธโƒฃ back you're a ๐Ÿ’š Green card HOE๐Ÿ’š If you get 1๏ธโƒฃ5๏ธโƒฃ back you're the๐Ÿ’ƒ๐ŸฝTelenovela main BITCH ๐Ÿ’ƒ๐Ÿฝ If you get 0๏ธโƒฃ back you're getting deported by Trump! ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ฝ๐Ÿ˜ซ๐Ÿšง๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ Have a happy CincHOE de Mayo and don't let la Migra get you!!
May 2022

Cinco de Mayo

Emoji Pasta

Holiday Emoji

Holiday

what do you think the billions of dollars smell like

twitchquotes: Do you think that Jeff Bezos gets embarrassed when Twitch mobile has a 10 second delay in front of his billions of dollars? Sorry if this offends anyone but I thought it was a funny thing haha. And I would like to know if any of you have pics of Jeff Bezos looking nervous or embarrassed in front of chat I just want to see it for a few laughs haha. Another thing I am wondering is what do you think the billions of dollars smell like I am just curious for laughs haha I would like to smell them
twitch chat
July 2020

So as joke, I fucked my friend in a Joseph Stalin cosplay

So as a joke, I went to my friend's house wearing Joseph Stalin's mustache and clothes. I could barely stop my laughter as he went as red as the Soviet flag and looked at me from head to toe with a bit of drool in his mouth. The way he stared made made feel a bit funny too, but I decided to tease him more by taking off my clothes. He asked me, "Are you serious?" and I said "Yes,comrade." He went silent for what seemed like forever, so I asked him, "What's the matter,comrade?" He said he's confused, but then his boner got really hard, which made me take off his clothes. I expected him to scream, "Stop!" as I kissed him and stroked his cock, but he instead shouted "Not a step back!" which made me get a boner myself. Before I knew it, I was blowing him for the first time till he came. His semen was so thick, it got stuck inside my throat no matter how hard I swallowed. He then said, "I want to fuck you now!" and seeing that we've already gone that far and we were both naked, I obliged. A few hours later, the jerk went all pale and said to me "Why did we do that? Now I'm not fucking straight." But he still looked so cute all confused like that, so I took pity on him and reassured while wiping his cum off my face, "Let's just pretend I'ms till Joseph Stalin."
September 2021

NSFW

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