[Copypasta] Yup, it's gamer time!

twitchquotes: No women: check. No leftists: check. No minorities: check. Yup, it’s gamer time!
twitch chat
April 2019
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

Fired for masturbating on a Zoom call

So this just happened an hour ago and I am still shaking. I’m a staff in public accounting and was in the middle of a 3-hour training on Zoom. Usually when we have these types of calls I just keep the video running in the background and I walk around the room doing things to pass the time and distract myself from the monotone presenters. Well today I forgot that I left the camera on (I usually always have it off but earlier today I had a call with the partner to discuss my upcoming promotion, so I had to have it on). I had no clue I had left the camera on and in the middle of walking around and muttering to myself as I was zoning out, I flipped it out and started to rub one out. I did so with complete confidence, openly and ferociously, stroking faster and faster until I heard the presenter stop and kindly asked me to turn my camera off. Mortified, I lifted my pants up and rushed over to turn the camera off. Soon after the training was over I had a call with HR and they let me know that I was being terminated. I hated the job anyway so not so bummed about that, but I’m not sure what to say in interviews now if I’m asked why I left this job. Any advice?
June 2021

Robin is NOT low tier

twitchquotes: Robin is NOT low tier. That's a ridiculous claim and you know it. Game and watch. Kirby. Jigglypuff. Hell, even Mario is shorter than Robin. Say what you want about Robin, but do NOT call my girl "low".
twitch chat
April 2019

Super Smash Bros

Peruvians and Dota 2

twitchquotes: Let's look at this statistically. Assuming you are not Peruvian, your team has four chances to spawn a Peruvian. The other team has five chances to spawn a Peruvian. Overall, you will have less Peruvians then your opponents, and will automatically rise on the ladder. If you aren't rising, you are probably secretly a Peruvian, ruining the statistical balance of sweet victory.
twitch chat
February 2015
SingSing

Dota 2

Huntard

twitchquotes: αƒš(β—‰β—‘β—”αƒš) HUNTARD OP αƒš(β—‰β—‘β—”αƒš)
twitch chat
April 2014
Reynad

Nothing is complex for me

twitchquotes: Nothing is complex for me. I figured out flat earth when everyone on the planet was either bought into the lie or supporting it. I am a borderline genius as tested at 10 years old I am sure the number would be much higher now since I have increased my intelligence over the years. I am right you are wrong, it really is as simple as that. The DEVIL is in the details.
twitch chat
July 2017
Text-to-Speech Playing