[Copypasta] Fortnite that's how Mafia works

twitchquotes: Fortnite. Fortnite. Fortnite. It was all my two kids talked about. They were utterly devoted to it. I had to make a change. I took the controllers and told them they couldn't play until they downloaded Mafia City. They whined and whined, but soon became engrossed in this amazing and educational game. Fortnite soon forgotten, their grades improved rapidly, much like their levels in game. The teachers were amazed, "how do they do it?" they asked me, I simply replied "that's how Mafia works."
twitch chat
January 2019
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

Kripp thinks that milk is bad for you

twitchquotes: My dad drank milk his whole life. One day my mom told him "If u want to see ur children graduate, u have to stop" 3 years later he died of calcium deficiency. My mom told me "Dont drink milk; dont put your family through this" At 24, I have never touched a glass of milk. I must say, I feel a sense of regret, because watching Kripp play Hearthstone gave me calcium deficiency anyway.
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp

This is Wildcard Region Police, NA you are coming with us

twitchquotes: (∩ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)⊃▭ This is Wildcard Region Police, NA you are coming with us (∩ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)⊃▭
twitch chat
October 2015

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EU vs NA

I sexually Identify as McCree

twitchquotes: I sexually Identify as McCree. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of walking slowly on the battlefield announcing it's mid day. People say that being a McCree is Impossible but I don’t care, I’m beautiful. I’m having a plastic surgeon install a cowboyhat, revolver and High Noon memes on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me "Jesse McCree" and respect my right to announce it's mid day. If you can’t accept me you’re a HighNoonaphope and need to check your gunslinger privileges.
twitch chat
February 2017

Overwatch

I sexually Identify as

I saw 1.9293948382% of a girl's shoulders today

I saw 1.9293948382% of a girl's shoulders today. I immediately fell to my knees, as the rush of dopamine caused my the impending earth-shattering orgasm started making me moan loud enough to deafen everyone in the immediate vicinity. What followed was a torrential downpour of every single sperm cell I ever have or ever will produce, shot out so hard that my dick was ripped apart by my übernut accelerating to 5% the speed of light by the time it left my urethra. It vaporized the girl as it punched right through her, barely slowed, before cutting through a structural support beam in the school as if it were a nuclear-powered angle grinder. The sheer weight of this historical nut, combined with the total destruction of everything in its path, caused the school to collapse, and every female in the state of New Jersey to fall pregnant with my children. When the final death toll was tallied, there were 146 deaths, 458 injuries, and over 4 million pregnancies. As I lay dying under the rubble of my high school, I rest easy, knowing every one of my sons will repeat my glorious actions.
August 2021

Crab

⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣮⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣵⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⣿⣯⡛⠋⠁⢻⡟⠈⠙⢛⣽⣿⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⢾⣿⠟⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⠻⣿⡷⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿ ⠛⠛⣷⡀⠀⠀⠈⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠁⠀⠀⢀⣾⠛⠛ ⡀⠀⠈⠻⣶⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⣶⠟⠁⠀⢀ ⣷⣄⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣠⣾ ⠛⠛⠛⠶⠶⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠶⠶⠛⠛⠛ ⣆⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣰ ⣿⣿⡿⠶⠚⠉⠀⠀⢀⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⡀⠀⠀⠉⠓⠶⢿⣿⣿ ⣿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⡴⠋⠀⠀⣠⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣄⠀⠀⠙⢦⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⣿ ⣿⣿⣷⣾⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣷⣾⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠀⠀⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠀⠀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
October 2019
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