[Copypasta] Fortnite that's how Mafia works

twitchquotes: Fortnite. Fortnite. Fortnite. It was all my two kids talked about. They were utterly devoted to it. I had to make a change. I took the controllers and told them they couldn't play until they downloaded Mafia City. They whined and whined, but soon became engrossed in this amazing and educational game. Fortnite soon forgotten, their grades improved rapidly, much like their levels in game. The teachers were amazed, "how do they do it?" they asked me, I simply replied "that's how Mafia works."
twitch chat
January 2019
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

TSM, aka "Tiananmen Square Massacre"

twitchquotes: TSM, aka "Tiananmen Square Massacre", is a myth propogated by Western governments to destabilize China. The hoax supposedly involved military suppression of democracy protesters using troops and tanks in June of 1989.
twitch chat
November 2019

Hello Kripp this is Saul Goodman

twitchquotes: ʜᴇʟʟᴏ ᴋʀɪᴘᴘ ᴛʜɪs ɪs sᴀᴜʟ ɢᴏᴏᴅᴍᴀɴ. ɪ'ᴠᴇ ʙᴇᴇɴ ɪɴғᴏʀᴍᴇᴅ ʙʏ ᴇᴅᴅʏ ᴘᴀsᴛᴇʀɪɴᴏ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ᴀʀᴇ sᴛʀᴇᴀᴍɪɴɢ ɪʟʟᴇɢᴀʟ ᴄᴏɴᴛᴇɴᴛ ғʀᴏᴍ ʏᴏᴜʀ sᴇᴄʀᴇᴛ ʙᴀsᴇᴍᴇɴᴛ ɪɴ ɢʀᴇᴇᴄᴇ. ɪ ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴛᴏ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴀs ᴍʏ ᴄʟɪᴇɴᴛ ᴛᴏ ᴘʀᴏᴛᴇᴄᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ɪɴ ᴄᴏᴜʀᴛ ғʀᴏᴍ ᴛʜᴏsᴇ ғɪʟᴛʜʏ ᴅᴏɴɢᴇʀs ᴀɴᴅ ᴘʀᴏsᴛᴇʀɪɴᴏs ᴛʜᴀᴛ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴀᴄᴄᴜsᴇᴅ ʏᴏᴜ.
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp

AITA for invading Ukraine?

Using my alt account because of personal reasons. So anyway, I[69M(literally)] am a high government official of a country with a strong military. Anyway, I am clinically diagnosed with Invasiontia[for anyone who doesn't know it's meaning, it basically means my mind forces me to invade countries, very few people are diagnosed with it(like Adolf Hitler), so i guess it makes me quirky uwu], so i really can't be the one to blame. I do what i like, usually, but people often judge me for living my life on my own terms. My distant relative, who has a history of playing fortnite and being antivax, being a furry, pedophile, and being a baby yoda hater called me today and abused me verbally, and told me what i was doing was wrong. I was heartbroken by their words. Not only that, Emily[She/They 13 diagnosed with 255 mental illnesses] made a really mean tweet against me today. She compared me to Hitler (I know Hitler and I have the same mental illness, but it doesn't mean I am as much of an asshole like he is, right?). All this negativity is severely affecting my mental health(i come from a country where mental health isn't given a lot of importance and also my country isn't very supportive of gay people), and i am now contemplating suicide by shooting myself in the head. Everyone thinks i am an asshole, what do you think reddit? AITA?
March 2022

Am I The Asshole?

Russian Ukrainian War

not gonna lie low-key kinda cringe

twitchquotes: Although I am very reluctant to do so, I am very sorry to inform you, sir, that the statement that you have just made through the use of online means in the format of a picture, video, message of text, or a combination of the three, is partially, somewhat, relatively, incompletely, fractionally, slightly - a miniscule degree of not gonna lie low-key kinda cringe.
twitch chat
June 2019

You kids call that a copypasta?

twitchquotes: You kids call that a copypasta? What do you whippersnappers even know about shitposting? You just go to that Twitch Quotes website and copy any kind of crap that is posted there every minute. Well let me tell you: back in my day, we used to craft our own copypasta by hand, full of love and care, using only the freshest memes from Kripp's stream, then shared it with everyone. We didn't simply copy any crap that appeared on our screens. And don't even think of copying this you lazy millenials.
twitch chat
October 2018
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing