[Copypasta] Fortnite that's how Mafia works

twitchquotes: Fortnite. Fortnite. Fortnite. It was all my two kids talked about. They were utterly devoted to it. I had to make a change. I took the controllers and told them they couldn't play until they downloaded Mafia City. They whined and whined, but soon became engrossed in this amazing and educational game. Fortnite soon forgotten, their grades improved rapidly, much like their levels in game. The teachers were amazed, "how do they do it?" they asked me, I simply replied "that's how Mafia works."
twitch chat
January 2019
(β–€ΜΏΔΉΜ―β”œβ”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

Amogus 700 years in the future

Imagine, 700 years in the future, through some last vestige of the internet kept in an underground server, a notification miraculously appears on your device (which has been preserved in nuclear dust from the 5th world war). One night, an alien working a late shift at the museum of archeology notices the cracked screen suddenly light up, and upon it, one word arises from the battered code: Amogus. They do not know what this word means. They ponder it deeply. They scour the ancient tomes, desperate to understand its mystifying origin. It drives them mad. Is it a primeval cipher? The motto of a bygone civilization? A message from God? Night after night they study it by candlelight. They flip through pages in books so old, the slightest cough would turn the paper to a fine off-white powder. The answer is nowhere to be found. And then they are struck by a revelation: I was not meant to know this word. Its esoteric nature escapes my grasp for a reason. What if its meaning is too enlightening to bear? With this revelation comes anger. Spite. Despair. Why shouldn't I understand it?! What cosmic forces are there at play to keep me from such knowledge?! In a fit of desperate rage, they shatter your device against a wall and exclaim, arms raised to the heavens: "This is literally 1984!" Silence... Their pleas are unanswered. Sadly, in the end, their inability to unlock the word's meaning drives them to suicide. Its secrets are never known. So I ask you this: is it better to die having never understood the true mind-bending nature of Amogus, or to be driven mad by the little spaceman in his blood-red suit? If you knew enlightenment would render you incapable of living on this mortal earth without making daily references to a game of space mafia, would you accept it? With knowledge comes power, but also endless suffering. Choose wisely, and be wary when standing at the edge of that great abyss we call "the Truth," lest you fall too deep.
March 2021

Among Us / Amogus

How will this affect my propain?

twitchquotes: hey reynad, gril here, i am sad to say that i have a leak, how will this affect my propain?
twitch chat
July 2014
Reynad

Damn missed the TSLA pump

Damn missed the TSLA pump... just like last week... and last month.... and last year
January 2021

WallStreetBets

Eggplants appear after every word

twitchquotes: Guys πŸ† I πŸ† Was πŸ† On πŸ† Pornhub πŸ† And πŸ† I πŸ† Clicked πŸ† On πŸ† A πŸ† Link πŸ† That πŸ† Said πŸ† Local πŸ† Milfs πŸ† In πŸ† My πŸ† Area πŸ† And πŸ† Now πŸ† Eggplants πŸ† Appear πŸ† After πŸ† Every πŸ† Word πŸ† . πŸ† What πŸ† Do πŸ† I πŸ† Do πŸ†? πŸ†
twitch chat
August 2019

Emoji Pasta

You guessed it right LEL KEK xD

twitchquotes: OSkomodo My KEK is strong OSkomodo My LEL flows free OSkomodo You guessed it right OSkomodo LEL KEK xD OSkomodo
twitch chat
February 2017
Text-to-Speech Playing