[Copypasta] Fortnite that's how Mafia works

twitchquotes: Fortnite. Fortnite. Fortnite. It was all my two kids talked about. They were utterly devoted to it. I had to make a change. I took the controllers and told them they couldn't play until they downloaded Mafia City. They whined and whined, but soon became engrossed in this amazing and educational game. Fortnite soon forgotten, their grades improved rapidly, much like their levels in game. The teachers were amazed, "how do they do it?" they asked me, I simply replied "that's how Mafia works."
twitch chat
January 2019
Mobile game Mafia City ads were so cringey it's a new meme: https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/thats-how-mafia-works
What happened to this ad? :(
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GME bank consultation

Short story-time for amusement reasons only: some days ago, I went to my bank (Austria). I am the owner of quite a number of GME shares and my broker app is actually just the bank-intern bond trading app, where I need to pay transactional feed everytime I buy (what is sell?) GME shares. I informed myself about the reasoning of those transactional fees beforehand and found out that by paying them, I have the right of consultation by my bank about the shares they‘re trading/I‘m buying. So, I went to the main national building of my bank, they were really friendly at the beginning, enthustiatically, I mentioned GME to them and that I wish for professional consultation about the financial details involved with that stock (I am not a financial guy, actually, I don‘t exactly know what‘s going on, it‘s all pretty crazy to me). Suddenly, their posture and mimick changed pretty suddenly. I was told, they are not allowed to consult about GME. To my question, why this was the case, they told me, because GME is „too irrelevant for the big stock market“. They are „aware of the past short squeeze, but one should no longer focus on GME“. They acted as if GME was some „childish financial playground“ that should be forgotten about. When I confronted them with the huge recent naked short attacks and if they could explain to me possible effects of them if they were not covered, they just repeated themselves how „GME is not relevant, please focus on stocks like Apple or Amazon to be safe“. I left the bank, buying more GME shares.
April 2021

WallStreetBets

You will never be Japanese

You will never be Japanese. You have no ancestry, you have no citizenship, you have no skills that would make Japan ever want you. You are a shut-in self-hating white man twisted by delusions of mythical Japanese superiority and exposure to Japanese media into a disgusting mockery of nature’s perfection. All 'validation' you get from other people in this position couldn't be worse in making you believe that spending years of your life learning a globally useless language to a first-grader's level was a worthwhile use of your time, but one can't expect that an individual as pathetic as you will ever know the value of the youth you threw away in doing that. Actual Japanese are utterly repulsed by you. Thousands of years of linguistic evolution have allowed natives to identify frauds from mannerisms and vocabulary alone. Even if your written text of self-hatred and attention begging akin to a stray dog's somehow passes as normal (it won't), any Japanese person will immediately cut all ties when they hear the voice and accent of someone who is not only a basic Japanese speaker at best, but worth no more than garbage in skills, accomplishments, and likeability. You will never be happy. You wrench out a fake smile and laugh to yourself believing that watching a content creator that you understand 20% of at best is somehow superior than watching your own kind, as you project your disgusting traits onto your entire kind. However, deep inside you feel the depression creeping up like a weed, ready to crush you under the unbearable weight, and you know that. You know that all you do now is have an entirely new linguistic medium in which to be ignored, and not even the exotic trait of being foreign makes up for just how uninteresting of a person you are. Eventually it’ll be too much to bear - you’ll buy a rope, tie a noose, put it around your neck, and plunge into the cold abyss. Your parents will find you, heartbroken but relieved that they no longer have to live with the unbearable shame and disappointment. They’ll bury you with a headstone marked with your birth name, and every passerby for the rest of eternity will know a Western man is buried there. Your body will decay and go back to the dust, and all that will remain of your legacy is a skeleton that is unmistakably Caucasian. This is your fate. This is what you chose. There is no turning back. Hate yourself and apologize for being white to some Japanese entity that exists only in your mind while actual Japanese people put in effort to learn English for the valid reason of it being the global language.
April 2021

Weebs

Bag of bears

twitchquotes: ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ ʕ ͡·ᴥ ͡· ʔ ʕ◕ᴥ◕✿ʔ ʕಠᴥಠʔ ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ ʕ ͡·ᴥ ͡· ʔ ʕ◕ᴥ◕✿ʔ ʕಠᴥಠʔ Sorry, I dropped my bag of bears ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ ʕ ͡·ᴥ ͡· ʔ ʕ◕ᴥ◕✿ʔ ʕಠᴥಠʔ ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ ʕ ͡·ᴥ ͡· ʔ ʕ◕ᴥ◕✿ʔ ʕಠᴥಠʔ
twitch chat
October 2014
Trick2g

Zhong Xina

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠋⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠉⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠁⠄⠄⢠⣴⣶⣿⣿⣶⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡟⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢹⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣧⠄⠄⠄⠄⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣸⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣧⡀⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣦⣀⣾⣿⣟⣉⠉⠙⢛⡏⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠚⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⣗⣻⣿⣯⣥⣦⠄⣀⣾⡇⠄⠄⠂⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠂⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⣻⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⠄⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡁⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣥⣾⣷⠶⠆⠄⠄⠄⢀⠄⠄⠄⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⠄⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠚⣿⣿⡻⠿⠿⠛⠙⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠠⠂⠄⠄⠘⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠿⠛⠉⠁⠁⠄⠄⠄⣻⣿⣿⣧⣠⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⡀⠂⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠉⠿⢿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⠿⣿⡿⠃⢀⡠⠄⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
ascii art
November 2021

THIS GAME IS AMAZING

twitchquotes: PogChamp THIS GAME IS AMAZING! PogChamp (Five dollars were deposited in your PayPal Account. Please, remove this part of the message before pasting it in the chat, thank you and have a nice day!)
twitch chat
May 2017

sellout

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