[Copypasta] Fortnite that's how Mafia works

twitchquotes: Fortnite. Fortnite. Fortnite. It was all my two kids talked about. They were utterly devoted to it. I had to make a change. I took the controllers and told them they couldn't play until they downloaded Mafia City. They whined and whined, but soon became engrossed in this amazing and educational game. Fortnite soon forgotten, their grades improved rapidly, much like their levels in game. The teachers were amazed, "how do they do it?" they asked me, I simply replied "that's how Mafia works."
twitch chat
January 2019
Mobile game Mafia City ads were so cringey it's a new meme: https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/thats-how-mafia-works
I used to be a real ad
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I want to impregnate Belle Delphine so bad

December 2020

Belle Delphine

Potato harvest is bad. Play Hearthstone in Amerikanski

twitchquotes: My name Dimitri Baryshnikov. I grow up in small farm to have make potatos. Father say "Dimitri, potato harvest is bad. Need you to have play porfessional game in Amerikanski for make money for head-scarf for babushka." I bring honor to komrade and babushka. Sorry for is not have English. Plz no cykapasta
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp

ay yo what's up #logang today

twitchquotes: ay yo what's up #logang today we're going to be heading in the #japanesesuicideforest here in japan, but first of all make sure to smash that like button, share this video, and subscribe for more vlogs like this one right here, also make sure to follow me on twitter, instagram google +, and like my page on facebook and pintrest. before heading in here i just wanna say suicide is not a joke but is that a dead body i'm not fucking with ya'll let's get the camera in there. as you can see this person is dead if you don't want to end up like him make sure you stay subscribed you know he probably ain't have no friends but if your in the #logang you know logan is your best friend haha chilling anyways thanks for watching guys and i won't be monetizing this video but make sure to check out my merch in the description, and dont forget to like share and subscribe and peace out #logang haha
twitch chat
January 2018

Having Carpe on Fusion is unsustainable for the team

twitchquotes: Having Carpe on Fusion is unsustainable for the team. He will eventually bring the rest of the team down. No matter how much Fusion invests in this team, they will never be able to afford the aquarium to keep Carpe at optimal performance. It is the sad reality of signing a fish, but Fusion will soon learn.
twitch chat
April 2018
OverwatchLeague

Overwatch

Why Harry Potter should have carried a 1911

Ok, this has been driving me crazy for seven movies now, and I know you're going to roll your eyes, but hear me out: Harry Potter should have carried a 1911. Here's why: Think about how quickly the entire WWWIII (Wizarding-World War III) would have ended if all of the good guys had simply armed up with good ol' American hot lead. Basilisk? Let's see how tough it is when you shoot it with a .470 Nitro Express. Worried about its Medusa-gaze? Wear night vision goggles. The image is light-amplified and re-transmitted to your eyes. You aren't looking at it--you're looking at a picture of it. Imagine how epic the first movie would be if Harry had put a breeching charge on the bathroom wall, flash-banged the hole, and then went in wearing NVGs and a Kevlar-weave stab-vest, carrying a SPAS-12. And have you noticed that only Europe seems to a problem with Deatheaters? Maybe it's because Americans have spent the last 200 years shooting deer, playing GTA: Vice City, and keeping an eye out for black helicopters over their compounds. Meanwhile, Brits have been cutting their steaks with spoons. Remember: gun-control means that Voldemort wins. God made wizards and God made muggles, but Samuel Colt made them equal. Now I know what you're going to say: "But a wizard could just disarm someone with a gun!" Yeah, well they can also disarm someone with a wand (as they do many times throughout the books/movies). But which is faster: saying a spell or pulling a trigger? Avada Kedavra, meet Avtomat Kalashnikova. Imagine Harry out in the woods, wearing his invisibility cloak, carrying a .50bmg Barrett, turning Deatheaters into pink mist, scratching a lightning bolt into his rifle stock for each kill. I don't think Madam Pomfrey has any spells that can scrape your brains off of the trees and put you back together after something like that. Voldemort's wand may be 13.5 inches with a Phoenix-feather core, but Harry's would be 0.50 inches with a tungsten core. Let's see Voldy wave his at 3,000 feet per second. Better hope you have some Essence of Dittany for that sucking chest wound. I can see it now...Voldemort roaring with evil laughter and boasting to Harry that he can't be killed, since he is protected by seven Horcruxes, only to have Harry give a crooked grin, flick his cigarette butt away, and deliver what would easily be the best one-liner in the entire series: "Well then I guess it's a good thing my 1911 holds 7+1." And that is why Harry Potter should have carried a 1911.
August 2021
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