[Copypasta] Fortnite that's how Mafia works

twitchquotes: Fortnite. Fortnite. Fortnite. It was all my two kids talked about. They were utterly devoted to it. I had to make a change. I took the controllers and told them they couldn't play until they downloaded Mafia City. They whined and whined, but soon became engrossed in this amazing and educational game. Fortnite soon forgotten, their grades improved rapidly, much like their levels in game. The teachers were amazed, "how do they do it?" they asked me, I simply replied "that's how Mafia works."
twitch chat
January 2019
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

Hello there, Octavian! This is Kurt McGriff

twitchquotes: Hello there, Octavian! This is Kurt McGriff, executive producer for the Food Channel. We have reviewed your recent application to be a host of your own TV show on our network titled, "Salty Vegan Eats - A Pro Gamer's Way of Life" However, after further reviewing your claim of being an "extremely popular professional gamer" we found the evidence lacking. Mr. Octavian, casually playing a children's card game does not make you a "pro gamer." Have a nice day and good luck to your future endeavors.
twitch chat
July 2017
Kripp

salty

Biden's America

The year is 2021. You look at the television. SIlver fox President Biden announces a vaccine mandate for employees. You clutch your limited edition Trump Funko Pop. It has begun. You gather up all your belongings, and jump into your truck, hitting the highway for the airport. Out of your rearview mirror you can make out a sleek black Prius pursuing you. You make out the numbers “1” “9” “8” and 4” on their license plate. You are able to lose the Prius and arrive at the airport. You are almost free. At airport security You see a young man being dragged away screaming. The guards yell something about him having more than 3.4 oz of liquid. Thankfully you only have an AR 15 on you. The guard inspects it. “It’s for hunting,” you say. They hand it back to you and wave for you to move along. You breathe a sigh of relief. “One more thing.” You turn to see a Guard staring down at you with their beady soulless eyes. “I need to see your vaccination card” It is too late. You try to run away, but you feel someone press a cloth against your face. Reality fades away. You wake up in some kind of lab, chained down to an operation table and gagged. The room is undecorated except for a single poster of Harry Styles in a dress on the wall. A single figure stands in the corner shrouded in shadow, fiddling with a syringe. As they step out of the shadow, you can make out their face, the roguishly handsome Gavin Newsom. He positions a large surgical headlight above you and turns it on. He holds up the large syringe to the light and chuckles, staring into your pleading eyes. “Don't worry, it will all be over soon” He removes his mask to reveal his serpent's tongue, flickering in amusement. He plunges the syringe straight through your “socialism is for figs” shirt into your arm. “Nighty night” Your world fades to black once more.
October 2021

Joe Biden

Politics

FeelsDankManRead

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠄⠄⠄⣾⠛⠛⣷⢀⣾⠟⠻⣦⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀⠄⠄⢰⡿⠋⠄⠄⣠⡾⠋⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡄⠄⣬⡄⠄⠄⠄⣭⡅⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⢛⣛⣛⣛⣛⣛⣛⣛⣛⡛⢋⣉⣭⣭⣥⣬⣤⣤⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⣴⣵⣿⣟⡉⣥⣶⣶⠶⠶⠬⣉⡂⠹⣟⡫⠽⠟⢒⣒⠒⠆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣭⣃⡈⠄⠄⠘⠃⡰⢶⣶⣿⠏⠄⠄⠙⡛⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⣉⣉⣩⣭⣶⣿⡿⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠾⣋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⢾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢩⣶⣒⠒⠶⢖⣒⣚⡛⠭⠭⠭⠍⠉⠁⠄⠄⠄⣀⣀⡀⠄ ⠘⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣬⣭⣭⣭⣤⡤⠤⠶⠟⣋⣀⣀⡀⢀⣤⣾⠟⠋⠈⢳⠄ ⣴⣦⡒⠬⠭⣭⣭⣭⣙⣛⠋⠭⡍⠁⠈⠙⠛⠛⠛⠛⢻⠛⠉⢻⠁⠄⠄⠄⢸⡀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣤⠤⢬⢍⣼⣦⡾⠛⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⡇⠄⢸⠄⠄⠄⢦⣄⣇ ⣿⣿⡿⣋⣭⣭⣶⣿⣶⣿⣿⣿⠟⠛⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⠃⠄⡜⠄⠄⠄⠔⣿⣿
November 2021

Pepe

Private photoshoot only for me

twitchquotes: ᴛʜɪs ɪs ᴛʀᴜᴍᴘ. ᴅᴜʀɪɴɢ ᴀ ʙʀᴏᴀᴅᴄᴀsᴛ ɪ ᴀᴄᴄɪᴅᴇɴᴛᴀʟʟʏ sʜᴏᴡᴇᴅ ᴍʏ ᴅᴇsᴋᴛᴏᴘ ᴀɴᴅ ᴀ ғɪʟᴇ ɴᴀᴍᴇs "ʜᴀғᴜɴᴜᴅᴇs..." ɪ'ᴍ ᴅɪsɢᴜsᴛᴇᴅ ʙʏ ᴘᴇᴏᴘʟᴇ ᴀssᴜᴍɪɴɢ ᴛʜɪs ɪs ᴛʜᴇ ʜᴀғᴜ ɴᴜᴅᴇs. ᴛʜɪs ɪs ᴀᴄᴛᴜᴀʟʟʏ ʜᴀғᴜɴᴜᴅᴇsGONEWILD, ᴛʜᴇ ᴛᴇɴ ᴛɪᴍᴇs ᴍᴏʀᴇ sᴘɪᴄʏ ᴠᴇʀsɪᴏɴ, ᴀ ᴘʀɪᴠᴀᴛᴇ ᴘʜᴏᴛᴏsʜᴏᴏᴛ ᴏɴʟʏ ғᴏʀ ᴍᴇ. ɢᴇᴛ ʏᴏᴜʀ ғᴀᴄᴛs ʀɪɢʜᴛ.
twitch chat
December 2014
Trump

Don't let your dreams be memes

twitchquotes: YESTERDAY YOU SAID TOMMOROW, Don't let your dreams be memes, Don't meme your dreams be beams, Jet fuel won't melt tomorrow's memes, DON'T LET YOUR STEEL MEMES BE JET DREAMS
twitch chat
July 2015
imaqtpie
Text-to-Speech Playing