[Copypasta] President Trump gave us Christmas back

twitchquotes: Today at Walmart I told the cashier Merry Christmas. She said, "Happy Holidays, ma'am, I smiled and said "You don't have to be afraid anymore. President Trump gave us Christmas back" she started crying tears of joy and said "Merry Christmas" and then everyone in the store applauded
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December 2018
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I’ve been wondering if I might be a gay

Recently, I’ve been wondering if I might be a gay. It all started a week ago. I was sitting on the toilet, pooping, when all of a sudden, a big shit turd comes out of my ass. It was huge. Big big. It’s so fucking big, I gotta look down into the toilet to check for blood. No blood, but the turd is fucking massive. I notice something strange about it. The end of the turd, sticking out of the water, looks like a dick head. A penis head. Needless to say, I was concerned. How could this be? I picked it up from the water, and put it back up my ass. To my surprise, it felt good. I then shit it back into the water. Splash. I then repeated this a few more times, moaning out “Oscar Winning actor Anthony Hopkins” each time. I am not sure if I am now gay. My boyfriend says it’s completely normal, but he’s gay, so I can’t trust him.
May 2021

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⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠛⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠛⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠛⠛⠛⠛⠻⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⠋⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⢴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠛⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠻⣿ ⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⣰⡆⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣄⡈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿ ⣿⣦⣄⣀⣤⣶⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⢿⡿⠃⠀⡾⠃⣰⠟⢠⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⡄⠈⢿⡀⠈⢿⡿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣶⣄⣀⣀⣴⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠀⠀⢀⣿⣷⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣾⣷⣶⣾⣿⡄⠀⠀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣴⣶⣶⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣴⣶⣦⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡄⠀⠀⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⠀⠀⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠀⠀⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣀⠀⠻⠿⣿⣿⠿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠿⢿⣿⡿⠿⠃⢀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⢿⣿⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⡿⠛⠲⠦⣤⣤⣤⣀⣀⣤⣤⣤⠴⠖⠛⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⢸⢧⣀⠀⢰⡇⠀⠈⠉⡏⠉⠀⢸⠀⠀⢀⣼⡇⠙⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⠀⠀⣟⠀⠈⠉⣾⠳⠶⠤⣤⣧⠤⠴⢾⡗⠉⠉⠀⢇⠀⠀⠈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠉⠙⠻⠛⠁⠀⠀⠀⢀⡏⠑⢶⣤⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⣷⣠⡴⠖⢻⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⠟⠋⠉⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠋⠉⠀⠀⠀⣾⣿⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣤⣤⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣤⣤⣤⣤⣴⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣤⣤⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
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February 2021

Weebs

Stalin

⡿⠄⢀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⠞⠛⠁⠄⡼⣿⣿ ⣿⡇⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠙⣦⠐⠠⡥⣿⣿ ⣿⡇⠄⣿⡿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⡔⠛⣿⣿ ⣿⡇⢰⢏⣤⣦⣤⣍⣉⣿⣿⣿⡟⢋⣁⣤⣤⣤⣈⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⠚⣯⡄⣿⣿ ⣿⡇⣾⣿⣉⣀⣠⠅⠄⣽⣿⣿⣇⠈⢈⣉⣩⣐⡙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠤⢿⢱⣿⣿ ⣿⠁⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⠾⣿⣿ ⡏⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⡇⣿⣿ ⣧⢾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣯⣽⣋⠽⢭⣽⣤⡘⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠩⣭⣽⠁⢣⢿⣯⡉⣿⡶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠁⠄⠈⠋⠈⠄⡈⠁⠒⠌⠊⣃⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣏⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣤⣤⣶⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣷⣤⣄⣤⣠⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡁⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡿⠉⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⡿⠛⠄⠄⠄⠙⢿⣷⣿⣭⣤⣬⡁⢉⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠄⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
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November 2018

I want to rearrange your guts

twitchquotes: I want to rearrange your guts. No, not with my throbbing cock, not even in a sexual or physical manner. I want to drink kombucha and properly alkalinized water with you. Long walks at sunset to Whole Foods, we will manifest good energy through plentiful probiotics and good health
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February 2019

Not your naked body

And you’ve been, GNOMED

twitchquotes: Ho ho ho ha ha 😂🤣😂, ho ho ho he ha🤣🤣. Hello there😃👋, old chum👴👵. I’m 🙅‍♀️ g'not 🙅‍♀️a g'nelf🧝👎. I’m 🙅‍♀️g'not🙅‍♀️ a g'noblin👺👎👺. I’m a g'nome🎅😁!! And you’ve been, GNOOOMED🎅🤣😂😂🤣🤣!!!
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September 2018

Emoji Pasta

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