[Copypasta] President Trump gave us Christmas back

twitchquotes: Today at Walmart I told the cashier Merry Christmas. She said, "Happy Holidays, ma'am, I smiled and said "You don't have to be afraid anymore. President Trump gave us Christmas back" she started crying tears of joy and said "Merry Christmas" and then everyone in the store applauded
twitch chat
December 2018
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

I sexually Identify as an LGM-30 Minuteman III

twitchquotes: I sexually Identify as an LGM-30 Minuteman III intercontinental ballistic missile. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of delivering a W78 nuclear warhead with an explosive yield of 3x500 kilotons of TNT anywhere on the planet at Mach 23. People say to me that a person being a Minuteman III is impossible and I’m incredibly destructive but I don’t care. I’m having Air Force Global Strike Command install new three-stage solid-fuel rocket engines and give me an $86 billion upgrade on my 59 foot body. From now on I want you guys to call me "ICBM" and respect my right to be in service until at least the 2030s. If you can’t accept me you’re missileophobe and need to check your local AFB for missile silos. Thank you, and I'll see you in WW3.
twitch chat
May 2017

I sexually Identify as

Coronavirus

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣤⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣶⡟⢉⠁⠈⡻⠘⠏⠀⠹⢛⣷⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⡞⢿⡄⠀⢻⡴⣇⣀⣷⣴⢄⢀⡖⡾⠁⢀⣼⢛⣦⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⣠⣄⠈⠙⢦⣿⣶⠞⠋⠉⠁⣀⣄⡀⠉⠙⠻⢦⣾⣵⠟⠉⢠⣄⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⢰⣯⣙⠷⣄⡴⠋⣤⣤⣤⠀⢸⡏⢉⣿⠀⣠⡤⣤⡘⢷⣤⡴⣛⣹⣧⠀⠀ ⠀⢀⣄⠀⠉⢛⡿⠁⠘⣧⣀⣼⠃⠀⠙⠛⠁⠀⢿⣄⣸⠇⠀⢹⡟⠉⠁⢀⣄⠀ ⠀⡾⡙⣛⣳⣾⠁⠀⡀⣀⠉⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠉⢁⡀⡀⠀⢿⣶⣛⣋⣻⠀ ⠀⠉⠈⠉⠈⡹⠀⠸⠁⠙⣷⠀⠀⢸⡏⠉⣷⠀⠀⢰⠉⠈⣣⠀⠸⡉⠉⠉⠉⠀ ⠀⣿⠛⣛⣻⣿⠀⠈⠛⠙⠁⠀⠀⠈⠛⠛⠁⠀⠀⠀⠙⠛⠉⠀⣼⣽⣛⡛⣹⠀ ⠀⠘⠟⠉⠁⣘⣧⠀⢀⡶⠛⢶⡂⠀⢀⣀⠀⠀⣴⠟⢳⡄⠀⢰⣏⠀⠉⠙⠛⠀ ⠀⠀⢰⡶⢛⣭⠟⢧⡈⠷⠶⠾⠁⢰⡏⠙⣷⠀⠻⢦⠾⢃⣴⠿⢯⣛⢳⡶⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠻⠟⠁⢀⡴⣿⢶⣄⡀⠀⠈⠛⠚⠋⠀⢀⣠⡴⣾⢷⣄⠀⠹⠟⠁⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢺⣏⣴⠏⠀⣸⠟⠝⠓⠶⠶⠖⠛⠛⣯⠀⠘⢷⣙⡿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠀⣶⣏⣬⠁⠀⣥⢠⠆⠀⣰⣘⣷⠄⠈⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠀⠘⠳⠾⠛⠀⠉⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ CORONAVIRUS IS HERE CHAT monkaW
ascii art
March 2020

Coronavirus

COVID

Failed as a pepperino pizza

twitchquotes: Mʏ ʙᴏʏ, Kʀɪᴘᴘᴀʀɪɴᴏ ᴅɪᴅᴅʟᴇʀɪɴᴏ, ᴡʜʏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ɢᴏ ᴏᴜᴛ ɪɴᴛᴏ ᴛʜᴇ ɴɪɢʜᴛ ᴀɴᴅ sᴜᴄᴋ ʙʟᴏᴏᴅ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴀ ɢᴏᴏᴅ ʀᴏᴍᴀɴɪᴀɴ ᴠᴀᴍᴘɪʀᴇ?" ᴀɴᴅ ᴀʟʟ Kʀɪᴘᴘᴇʀɪɴᴏ sᴀʏ ɪs, "Rɪᴘ ɪɴ ᴘᴇᴘᴘᴇʀᴏɴɪ" ᴀɴᴅ ᴘᴀᴘᴘᴀғᴀʀʀɪᴀɴ ɢᴏ, "ɪ ᴅᴏ ɴᴏᴛ ᴜɴᴅᴇʀsᴛᴀɴᴅ ᴛʜɪs ɴᴇᴡғᴀɴɢʟᴇᴅ ᴀᴍᴇʀɪᴄᴀɴ ʟᴀɴɢᴜᴀɢᴇ ʏᴏᴜ sᴘᴇᴀᴋ, ɪ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ғᴀɪʟᴇᴅ ᴀs ᴀ ғᴀᴛʜᴇʀ ᴀɴᴅ ᴀs ᴀ ᴘᴇᴘᴘᴇʀɪɴᴏ ᴘɪᴢᴢᴀ
twitch chat
April 2014
Kripp

Diablo 2 is a top down shooter from the 1800s

twitchquotes: Hi Octavian, I've been watching your stream for some days now and I really enjoy it! Actually no, I hate it. You think you're always right when you play that cardgame and now you're playing some topdown shooter from the 1800's, dude grow up. Kid ( ° ͜ʖ͡°)╭∩╮
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Hey Reynad, its me, the lamp behind you

twitchquotes: Hey Reynad, its me, the lamp behind you. Do you remember when you used to turn me on all the time? Now that you're a big time gaming memester, I get as much use as the surfboard and your guitar. I miss you and I hope you use my 29 watts soon
twitch chat
March 2016
Reynad
More Copypastas
Text-to-Speech Playing