[Copypasta] President Trump gave us Christmas back

twitchquotes: Today at Walmart I told the cashier Merry Christmas. She said, "Happy Holidays, ma'am, I smiled and said "You don't have to be afraid anymore. President Trump gave us Christmas back" she started crying tears of joy and said "Merry Christmas" and then everyone in the store applauded
twitch chat
December 2018
Waiting for adblock to be disabled
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single least favorite form of communication

twitchquotes: Honestly, 99% of the time, twitch chat is the stupidest thing alive. That and copypasta is my single least favorite form of communication, somehow being incredibly lazy and entirely impersonal all at once.
twitch chat
August 2019

I hate Twitch Chat

You think itā€™s funny to take screenshots of peopleā€™s NFTs, huh?

You think itā€™s funny to take screenshots of peopleā€™s NFTs, huh? You must be a very immature person to steal someoneā€™s property that they PAID for. Yeah, I said it. Youā€™re the kind of person who thinks that property theft (a seriously illegal offence) is a joke. I donā€™t even know why you took that screenshot, because you didnā€™t pay 1000 dollars for it. I did. The blockchain doesnā€™t lie. Even if you try to save it, itā€™s my property. Youā€™re just angry that you couldnā€™t afford this priceless masterpiece. Even if you could, your fingers couldnā€™t even click fast enough to get one of the 10000 NFTs sold. Youā€™re just mad you donā€™t own what I own. So, delete that screenshot, or I swear, youā€™ll be hearing from my lawyers.
November 2021

Cryptocurrency

NFTs

I hate April Fool's Day

Iā€™m fucking shaking and crying right now yā€™all, and people arenā€™t taking me seriously. This is a DUMB FUCKING HOLIDAY, where people say shit that ISNā€™T FUCKING REAL for NO REASON. Iā€™ve cut off 8 family members already for falling for this shriveled up, half-assed ANNUAL CORPORATE FIG LEAF like the NPC SHEEP THEY ARE. Maybe if they listened to REAL COMEDY like Bill Maher or political satire that validates what I already believe in, theyā€™d be WORTHY OF INTERACTING WITH. BUT NO, I have to scroll through my timeline, seething, wailing and gnashing my teeth as Iā€™m BOMBARDED BY LOW EFFORT CORNY CAPITALIST PROPOGANDA. THIS IS A SERIOUS DAY. Iā€™m allowed to be this pressed about ha-ha corny joke day because ITā€™S SERIOUS FOR ME AND THEREFORE SHOULD BE FOR EVERYONE. My great uncle was tragically flattened while trying to rob a coca-cola vending machine on this date, and PEOPLE ARE STILL MAKING CORNU FUKUNG JOKES. Iā€™ve had enough
April 2021

I'm honestly considering uninstalling PUBG on PC

twitchquotes: (sponsored message) WOW! I love the way this game looks. The graphics are great and the framerate is perfect! I'm honestly considering uninstalling PUBG on PC and just moving over to mobile because this seems like the far superior product. Thank you Kripp for showing me this amazing new game.
twitch chat
April 2018
Kripp

sellout

PlayerUnknown's Battlegrounds

Jared we need to talk, are you boosted?

twitchquotes: "Jared we need to talk" said QT sitting down at the table. "We think you have a problem" said Dom. " are you boosted?" they asked in unison. Jared began to break down and cry as he looked at his D3 account. "I dont think I'll ever get to play with you guys again unless I do" said Jared. "Quit being a *** pussy" said Dom and QT as Jared eyed the glock on the table next to them.
twitch chat
April 2016
imaqtpie

Boosted Animal Jared

League of Legends

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