[Copypasta] President Trump gave us Christmas back

twitchquotes: Today at Walmart I told the cashier Merry Christmas. She said, "Happy Holidays, ma'am, I smiled and said "You don't have to be afraid anymore. President Trump gave us Christmas back" she started crying tears of joy and said "Merry Christmas" and then everyone in the store applauded
twitch chat
December 2018
What happened to this ad? :(
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Donald Trump with mic

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠛⠋⠉⡉⣉⡛⣛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣸⣿⣿⡿⠿⡯⢙⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡀⡀⠄⢀⣀⣉⣉⣉⠁⠐⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠁⣿⣿⣀⠈⠿⢟⡛⠛⣿⠛⠛⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠁⠰⣄⣴⡬⢵⣴⣿⣤⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⢀⢄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⡉⠻⣿⡿⠁⠘⠛⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠃⠄⠄⠈⠻⠄⠄⠄⠄⢘⣧⣀⠾⠿⠶⠦⢳⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⡀⢀⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠻⢣⣶⡒⠶⢤⢾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠋⠄⢘⣿⣦⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠛⠻⠻⠺⣼⣿⠟⠋⠛⠿⣿⣿ ⠋⠉⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢻⣿⣿⣶⣄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣤⣾⣿⣿⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⢹ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢻⣿⣿⣿⣷⡤⠄⠰⡆⠄⠄⠈⠉⠛⠿⢦⣀⡀⡀⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⢿⣿⠟⡋⠄⠄⠄⢣⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠹⣿⣀ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⣷⣿⣿⣷⠄⠄⢺⣇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠸⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠹⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠸⣿⡄⠄⠈⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢻⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⢹⣧⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘
ascii art
August 2019

Called my overweight female friend a heckin chonker today and now she won’t talk to me

My female friend was crying about how fat she was and I was trying to comfort her by telling her that she didn’t look that fat but she kept accusing me of lying to make her feel bad so I thought that saying “maybe your just a heckin chonker” would cheer her up and lighten the mood but she just looked at me and left. I hope she realised that I was only being nice and that she is being irrational.
August 2021

jerma got so angry at the one guy in chat

One day jerma got so angry at the one guy in chat who was being mean and spamming residentsleeper, he quite literally stuck his hands into his screen and yanked really hard. Out came this 5'9 brown haired highschooler who instantly began begging for his life. However, jerma growled really loud and started chanting the lyrics to "I'm a Walrus" by the beatles. The mods, the chat, no one could stop what happened next. Chat was spamming PauseChamp. Then Jerma just grabbed the poor highschooler by his neck and lifted him off the floor and began to spin him really fast.. His guts came flying out with the sheer force that jerma used to spin him. The camera was stained with blood and chat was all spamming monkaW and "LULW typical One guy moment". After a couple of moments jerma wiped the red marking from the camera and sat back down as if nothing happened. The weirdest part was that he started talking about soy milk and how he wasn't a sponsor with any soy milk company. He seemed quite annoyed that he wasnt a sponsor but continued to elaborate on how much he loved soy milk, but only that one specific brand of soy milk. I'm telling you, the one guy residentsleeper spammers are annoying as hell. EDIT: Unfortunately that segment of the VOD was deleted due to DMCA issues with Jerma singing The Beatles.
July 2022
Jerma985

One condition: let me touch the Kripparrian

twitchquotes: Kripparian, I see you have less viewers than your sexual partner, Reynad. I can guarantee you 5,000 viewers, bringing your count above his. There is but one condition - you must come to my home and let me touch the Kripparian. No copy pasterino dongerino kappacino.
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Marginally optimizing a children's game!

twitchquotes: Hey Kripp, loyal fan chiming in here (for once). I think your stream is great! I would have spent my time working towards a cure for cancer, or how to automate food production in the 3rd world, but luckily i stumbled onto your stream and now I can waste my time watching you marginally optimize a children's game! What a career you have made!
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp
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