[Copypasta] President Trump gave us Christmas back

twitchquotes: Today at Walmart I told the cashier Merry Christmas. She said, "Happy Holidays, ma'am, I smiled and said "You don't have to be afraid anymore. President Trump gave us Christmas back" she started crying tears of joy and said "Merry Christmas" and then everyone in the store applauded
twitch chat
December 2018
I used to be a real ad
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COCKtober emojipasta v3

October 2021

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Halloween

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Holiday

Not enough brofisting

twitchquotes: Dear Mister-I'm-Too-Good-To-Bro-Fist-All-My-Subs, this'll be the last pasta I ever send your ***. It's been six months and still no word - I don't deserve it? I know you got my last two pastas; I wrote the Kappas on 'em perfect. I'm in the chat right now, spamming penises in r9k. Hey Kripp, I drank a fifth of OJ, you dare me to riot?
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Shroud

⠄⠄⣠⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠋⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠁⠄⠄⠄ ⢰⡾⠛⠉⠉⠄⠄⠄⠉⠉⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠄⠄⣀⣤⣤⣴⣦⣠⣄⣀⠄⠄⠄ ⠋⠁⣠⣄⣴⣶⠶⠶⠶⣦⡜⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠉⠃⠁⡀⠄ ⣷⣾⣿⠟⠁⡀⠄⠄⢀⠄⠁⠈⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠰⠿⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠊⠄ ⣿⣿⠃⣀⣘⣓⣤⣤⠈⠁⠄⣰⣿⣿⣿⡿⡤⠄⣈⣠⣄⣉⣉⡉⢉⣂⣀⣠⣤⠑ ⣿⣽⣾⣿⣿⣟⣩⣤⣤⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⡈⢷⣟⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⢸⣬⠙⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡁ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠈⠛⠁⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣿⣭⣴⣾⣾⣋⣀⣠⠤⠐⢺⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⣼⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣤⣤⣀⡀⠄⠉⢿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⡈⢉⣼⣿⣿⡿⠿⠽⠻⠧⠄⠛⢛⠊⠉⠓⠄⠄⠄⠹⣿⣿⠇⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡡⣷⣾⠟⠉⣠⣦⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⡷⡇⠄⠄⢀⡠⢀⣿⠓⣼⣾ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡗⣿⣥⠄⠈⠙⠋⠄⣀⣉⣉⡉⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⢴⣿⣷⣿⣿⢂⠿⡟ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⡦⠤⣤⣭⣤⠄⠂⢀⢠⡤⠛⣿⣿⣿⣿⢋⡸⠂⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣶⢛⠟⠿⡿⡉⣁⡂⠸⢿⣿⣿⠟⠄⠄⠄
December 2018
shroud

Response to somebody correcting a grammar mistake

Give it up folks, einstein over here has something to say. What's that buddy? Wha- A grammatical error?!? WHAT?!? B... Bu... That can't be possible! Surely not! A GRAMMAR MISTAKE? IN MY SIGHT?!? What a great, absolute miracle that you and your 257 IQ Brain was here to correct it! Thank you! Have my grattitude, Actually, What's your cashapp? I'd like to give you 20$... Know what? While we're at it have the keys to my car. Actually, no, scratch that. Have the keys to my house, go watch my kids grow up and fuck my wife. Also, my Paypal username and password is: Ilikesmartazzes4 and 968386329. Go have fun. Thank you for your work.
May 2021

1 v 1 me on RUST!

twitchquotes: Listen here, you scrublords: swiggety-swaggety-swoo is the bee's knees! Now if you disagree, I'll napalm your house m8! Get rekt! 1 v 1 me on RUST! Subscribe or I'll quick scope you non-blud. Puff puff puff 420 blaze--everyday!
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing