[Copypasta] President Trump gave us Christmas back

twitchquotes: Today at Walmart I told the cashier Merry Christmas. She said, "Happy Holidays, ma'am, I smiled and said "You don't have to be afraid anymore. President Trump gave us Christmas back" she started crying tears of joy and said "Merry Christmas" and then everyone in the store applauded
twitch chat
December 2018
I used to be a real ad
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April 2020

A dirty joke from the 1400s...

A dirty joke from the 1400s... In Florence, a young woman, somewhat of a simpleton, was on the point of delivering a baby. She had long been enduring acute pain, and the midwife, candle in hand, inspected her secret area, in order to ascertain if the child was coming. “Look also on the other side,” said the poor creature, “my husband has sometimes taken that road.” From “The Facetiae Or Jocose Tales of Poggio”, a joke book published in the 1400’s by Poggio Bracciolini
May 2022

Well you see sir, I watch Starcraft

Today my 12 year old and I walked into Harvard to sign him up for college. The dean rudely asked why a 12 year old was signing up for a prestigious institute. My son proclaimed "Well you see sir, I watch Starcraft". The dean tried to apologize but the police rushed in and dragged him out. My son passed all his classes with 4.0s and graduated magnet koom louder on the first day of college.
December 2020

YOUR GREEN WALL GOT BLOWN UP BY DANTEH

twitchquotes: SSSsss YOUR GREEN WALL SSSsss GOT BLOWN UP SSSsss BY DANTEH SSSsss
twitch chat
March 2018
OverwatchLeague

Overwatch

Please stop the ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ノ in your chat

twitchquotes: Hello KRIPP aka GRIPPARRIAN. Please stop the ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ノ in your chat. I am from dubai and "ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ノ " means "your aunt has a goat ***" in arabic. I am watching with family after my aunt's funeral and we all find this extremely offensive. Will subscribe so you can fist me like a bro when it stops. Please no dan marino gran torino
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp
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