twitchquotes:
When I see 
in chat I actually feel bad.
in chat I actually feel bad.
twitch chat
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
Troves lump
we don't operate on empty jars of spaghetti sauce
gf is prego
we like to get kinky anyways
one night things get particularly saucy
i'm sticking my noodle in her when I notice weird fucking chunks coming out, so I turn on the lights
wtf it's red everywhere and she's obviously not on her period
i look up at her, she's got a glassy, jarred look on her face and she's not answering
ohshitohshitohshitohshit
i rush her into my car and speed all the way to the hospital
she's still bleeding everywhere
by the time we get there, she's not bleeding much anymore, but all the color has drained and she looks colorless and almost transparent
oh shit, she looks like she's in a vegetative state
storm into to the emergency room, cary her to the nearest doctor and explain eveything
he takes one look at ther and says
"sir, i'm sorry, there's nothing we can do"
"WHY THE FUCK NOT???"
"we don't operate on empty jars of spaghetti sauce"
Classic
I sexually identify as Harambe
twitchquotes:
I sexually Identify as Harambe. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of living in a gorilla enclosure at Cincinnati zoo and dragging children. People say to me that a person being Harambe is impossible and I'm retarded but I don't care, I'm beautiful. I'm having a plastic surgeon install the name Harambe, harmless intentions and a gorillas body on me. From now on I want you guys to call me "Harambe" and respect my right to roam around the gorilla enclosure and drag around small children. If you can't accept me you're an agrizoophobe and need to check your zoo official privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.
twitch chat
Harambe
I sexually Identify as
UwU what's this? Nuzzles how are you
twitchquotes:
Rawr馃惒馃悐 x3馃構 nuzzles how are you馃槈馃檪 pounces on you馃槢 you鈥檙e馃槂 so馃槃 warm馃馃槇 o3o馃槒 notices馃槸 you have a bulge馃崋 o:馃槸馃槷 someone鈥檚 happy馃槂 ;)馃槈馃槣 nuzzles your necky wecky馃槇馃槜~ murr~ hehehe馃槉 rubbies馃憢馃 your bulgy馃崋 wolgy you鈥檙e馃槍 so big馃槸馃槷 :oooo rubbies馃憢馃 more on your bulgy馃崋 wolgy it馃毇 doesn鈥檛 stop馃洃 growing 路///路 馃槓kisses馃槡馃槝 you馃檪 and lickies馃槤馃憛馃挦馃挦
twitch chat
Emoji Pasta
Weebs
I fucked Up DVD
Earlier today I was really horny, and I saw what I thought to be a blank DVD. I thought, DVDs have a tight hole, they might feel pretty good. So I put my soft pp into the hole of the DVD, and for a few seconds as I started getting harder, it felt pretty good, but then, once I was fully erect, it started being painful. My pp was stuck in the DVD, and I had to break it in half to get if out. It was then when I flipped the broken DVD over and realized that it was not a blank DVD, but a copy of the Pixar movie Up.. Well guys, guess I fucked up.