[Copypasta] So my boyfriend loves to play dota 2

twitchquotes: So my boyfriend loves to play dota 2 and is very immersed in twitch culture and this has extended to his everyday conversation. It seems like he can't go one sentence without using one such twitch "meme", like "pogchamp", "omegalul", "monka s", "bible thump", or "monka giga". I am fine with him watching twitch and enjoying his video games but honestly it's quite embarassing when we are talking to someone in public and he just randomly busts out a twitch "meme". It's so cringey and all my friends think he's weird. And don't even get me started on the random japanese phrases (he's white...) I swear this sounds like a meme post but i promise this is my real life ;___;
twitch chat
November 2018
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More Copypastas

Eggplants appear after every word

twitchquotes: Guys πŸ† I πŸ† Was πŸ† On πŸ† Pornhub πŸ† And πŸ† I πŸ† Clicked πŸ† On πŸ† A πŸ† Link πŸ† That πŸ† Said πŸ† Local πŸ† Milfs πŸ† In πŸ† My πŸ† Area πŸ† And πŸ† Now πŸ† Eggplants πŸ† Appear πŸ† After πŸ† Every πŸ† Word πŸ† . πŸ† What πŸ† Do πŸ† I πŸ† Do πŸ†? πŸ†
twitch chat
August 2019

Emoji Pasta

Thijs please remove wisp from your deck

twitchquotes: Hey Thijs. Its the G2 director here. We kindly ask you to remove wisp from your’e grandmasters deck. We are G2 not clown, i mean Cloud 9 and we expect the people representing us to take things serious and not make a joke of our orginazation. We know you are aware what said in the contract and we expect change as soon as possible.
twitch chat
June 2019
Thijs

Hearthstone

Wife attack AITA?

I (46M) was having lunch (lasagna) with my side chick (42F) on a lovely day (23Β°C) when all of a sudden my wife (44F) of 35 years barges in and starts attacking me (46M). Wtf (what the fuck) was she thinking I had been having sex with my side chick (42F) every other weekend it's not like I was doing this every day. She (44F) then starts attacking her (42F) and the wait staff (32M, 26M and 29M) have to intervene. Completely ruined my lunch. AITA?
December 2019

Am I The Asshole?

You know what's worse than Ajit Pai?

twitchquotes: You know what's worse than Ajit Pai? To access the punchline to this joke, you must purchase the Punchline Package for $14.99
twitch chat
December 2017

Net Neutrality

Sleeping naked is a power move anyways

Sleeping naked is a power move anyways. β€’ ⁠Burglar breaks in boom I’m up and naked. He’s too distracted trying to determine if I’m a man or woman because of my massive bush to notice me reaching for my glock fawty. ⁠‒ ⁠When I pee or poop in my sleep from the nightmares I don’t get any clothes dirty just the sheets. β€’ ⁠Save money on not having to run an AC in the summer time so I can buy my wife more lingerie for her boyfriend to appreciate.
August 2021
Text-to-Speech Playing