[Copypasta] Never buy a keyboard off a chinese bidding website

twitchquotes: ᴺᵉᵛᵉʳ ᵇᵘʸ ᵃ ᵏᵉʸᵇᵒᵃʳᵈ ᵒᶠᶠ ᵒᶠ ᵃ ᶜʰᶦᶰᵉˢᵉ ᵇᶦᵈᵈᶦᶰᵍ ʷᵉᵇˢᶦᵗᵉ
twitch chat
November 2018
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

A boy asked a girl in a library

twitchquotes: A boy asked a girl in a library, "Do you mind if I sit beside you"? The girl Answered with a loud angry voice; "I don't want to spend the night with you!! All the people in the library started staring at the boy and he was embarrassed. After minutes the girl walked quietly to the guy's table and said to him I study psychology and I know what man is think, I guess you felt embarrassed,right? The guy responded with a loud voice :$300 for one night That's too much!! and all the people in the library looked at the girl in shock and the guy whispered in her ears, "I study law and I know how to make someone guilty.
twitch chat
August 2020

I've been unvaccinated for 9 months now

I've been unvaccinated for 9 months now, moving from place to place, keeping ahead of the vaxmaxers, never staying anywhere too long, never letting my face become known. "It's great being vaxmaxed isn't it" the shopkeep says vacantly, to nobody in particular. In keeping with the act I reply to the Heinz Baked Beans Substitute 6 Pack (No Plastic) in my hand, something unrelated, with what I hope is a slightly bemused tone. It takes a lot longer to do my shopping these days, I can't simply march through the shop in an orderly fashion, taking what I need in a single trip, I have to absent mindedly shuffle back and forward between the aisles, never really displaying any intent. As unpresent as they are, the vaxmaxed would notice if I was too focused, too alert. A loud smashing sound in the distance almost blows my cover, I notice, and focus on the sound. The vaxmaxed around me slowly aim their distant gaze on me, but I'm able to save myself, I continue my neck jerk and turn it in to a series of spasms, I drop to the floor convulsing, the vaxmaxed around me quickly lose interest and continue on with their day. "That means it's working" one elderly lady comments to her milk as she passes. I continue the charade long enough to filter out most of the vaxmaxed sharing the aisle. It takes a while, and no insubstantial amount of sweat on my part, but I make it to the checkout. A morbidly obese woman directs the horde at the tills, seemingly oblivious to the cacophony of aberrant scan noises and blinking red lights above the entirely self service super checkout. I wait dutifully, not wanting to be noticed, not wanting to be set upon by the Asda Security Vax Checker team, it had taken all my best bluffing to get past them at the door, I almost chuckled when they believed my vax card was in the post but it was quickly stifled, a chuckled would have given me away, a chuckle would have seen me held down and injected with science juice.
April 2022

COVID

Coronavirus

Forsen's face

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠰⢡⣾⣻⣿⣿⣿⡅⠈⢾⢧⣫⠄⣡⠄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⠸⣿⠏⢿⠋⢱⠄⠐⡏⡞⠣⠻⣿⢣⢛⡄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⡄⣔⢯⣅⠉⠊⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠄⠁⠄⢛⣡⣧⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⢀⣠⠿⠦⠿⠉⢀⣤⣶⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣦⣄⡀⠈⢻⣷⣤⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⢀⢇⡴⠂⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡀⣈⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠇⠝⠃⣴⣿⣿⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠈⠇⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠸⠄⡀⣼⡿⠋⣠⣤⣄⣀⣈⠙⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠉⢀⣀⣠⣤⣉⠁⠈⡄⠄⠄⠄ ⢰⣇⢰⢳⣿⣥⣾⡿⠛⢛⣛⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⢛⣛⡻⢿⣷⣄⢷⠄⠄⠄ ⠐⣇⡾⣾⣿⣿⣿⠰⠟⠭⠹⢷⣺⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠴⠟⠍⢹⠆⣻⣿⣼⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠸⢧⣿⣿⣿⣿⣛⣛⣛⠻⢭⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣝⣛⣛⣛⠻⠿⣿⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣾⣿⣿⠟⣩⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣸⣏⣉⣉⣿⣿⣁⣨⣿⣟⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠉⠉⠉⠈⠛⠛⢿⡟⠓⠄⠉⠙⠓⠮⣽⣿⣿⣿⡄⠄ ⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣀⣭⣤⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⣿⣿⣿⣧⠄ ⠄⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⠺⣧⣄⡀⢯⣩⡅⣶⣒⣤⣩⡍⣽⡠⠂⣼⡀⣸⣿⣿⣿⡇ ⠄⡇⠄⠄⠉⠁⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣤⣤⣉⣉⣉⣉⣉⣤⣾⡿⠄⢻
September 2019
Forsen

Teleporting again, son?

⢸⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⢸⠀ ⠀⢸⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⡷⠀ ⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀ ⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀ ⡇ ⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀ ⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇Teleporting ⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠖⠒⢸⠀ ⠀⢸⠒⠒⢤⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⡇again, son? ⢸⠀⠀⣀⢤⣼⣀⡠⢸⠀ ⠀⢸⠤⠤⠼⠤⡄⠀ ⠀⡇ ⢸⠀⠀⠑⡤⠤⡒⠒⢸⠀ ⠀⢸⠒⡊⠙⡏⠀⢀ ⠀⡇ ⢸⠀⠀⠀⠇⠀⣀⣀⢸⠀⠀ ⢸⣀⣀⢀⠧⠟⠁⠀ ⡇ ⢸⠀⠀⠀⠸⣀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀ ⢸⠈⢉⠟⠓⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇ ⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢱⡖⢸⠀⠀ ⢸⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇ ⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⢺⠧⢸⠀⠀ ⢸⢄⣀⠀⠀⣀⣀⠀⠀⡇ ⢸⠀⠀⠀⣠⠃⢸⠀⢸⠀⠀ ⢸⠀⠈⠉⡽⠿⠯⡆⠀⡇ ⢸⠀⠀⣰⠁⠀⢸⠀⢸⠀⠀ ⢸⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠉⠀⠀⡇ ⢸⠀⠀⠣⠀⠀⢸⢄⢸⠀⠀ ⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇ ⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⢸⠀⠀ ⢸⢇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇ ⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡌⠀⢸⠀⠀ ⢸⠈⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇ ⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠃⠀⢸⠀⠀ ⢸⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇ ⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀ ⢸⠀⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠷
March 2022

Barry Bee Benson v2 (Bee Movie)

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡜⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠠⢄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠉⠢⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠰⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⡀⣀⣤⣦⣷⣤⣤⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣷⣿⣿⠟⣫⠕⠒⢚⠹⣶⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢐⣿⠟⠓⠂⠀⠀⠠⢨⣤⠉⠂⢳⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⡤⢶⣤⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⡏⡄⢢⣖⠠⠀⠀⠈⠉⠀⠀⠘⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣀⣤⣤⣤⣤⡾⠗⢻⡷⠈⠻⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢏⠀⠈⠋⠀⠀⠄⢀⠀⠉⠀⠀⢱⠀⠀⠐⠖⣖⠒⠋⠉⠁⣀⣀⣤⣾⠿⠋⠁⠀⠀⢸⣧⠀⠀⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢦⡀⠐⠒⠒⠈⠀⠀⢀⣠⢆⡞⠀⠀⠀⣼⣏⠃⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠀⡀⠀⠀⣾⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠳⢤⣶⡶⣿⣿⣿⢟⡥⡊⠀⠀⠀⣼⣟⠂⠀⠀⠀⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⣿⣆⠀⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠧⠀⠙⠻⣿⣈⠀⠀⢀⣾⢟⠎⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠀⢀⣿⣿⡆⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠀⠀⠁⠜⠻⣾⣴⣿⣯⡂⠀⢀⠀⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⡿⠁⠀⣼⣿⣿⢡⣻⣿⣿⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⠀⠀⠈⠀⠘⠈⠛⠷⣷⣿⣷⣶⣌⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠀⣼⣿⣿⠃⢸⠃⠻⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡌⡤⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⢻⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⣶⣿⣿⣯⣀⣟⣠⣴⣷⣾⣿⡿⠛⠛⠻⣟⣷⠒⠄ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠑⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠻⣿⣿⡿⠋⠀⣰⣿⣿⡿⠃⣸⠟⠉⠁⠀⠀⠟⠛⠛⠚⠫⠀⠠⠙⠠⠇ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠀⠤⠾⠿⠿⠋⠐⠊⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
June 2021
Text-to-Speech Playing