twitchquotes:
The POLICE Just Stopped ME Came Up To My Window An Said "PAPERS"? So I Said "SCISSORS" I WON & Drove OFF The guy Must Want A REMATCH Cuz He Been CHASING Me For The Past 10 MINUTES π³π©
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I used to be a real ad
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The pandemic in 2028 is kinda sus
Year is 2028 The pandemic has gotten so bad we are all forced to wear colored isolation suits with their own oxygen tank and no hands for contact. Those infected are turned into sociopathic murders that try to secretly kill everyone, but still dress and act like the rest of us. I work as a spaceship engineer in the Skled along with 9 other people. We just got notified that one among us was infected, but we still have to keep maintaining the ship otherwise it will explode. We are trying to figure out who it is by voting. 2 of us are already dead and i saw red vent, but nobody believes me. I think the others want to vote me off. This might be the last thing i'll write. Goodbye. Tell me wife i love her.
Among Us / Amogus
Coronavirus
COVID
Copypasta jokes are not funny
twitchquotes:
Copypasta jokes are not funny. Itβs annoying and incredibly irritating to me when I say something in chat because I would enjoy actual responses and I instead get my own words thrown back at me. Please don't just copy my messages and be original! Thank you!
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Roses are red, I'm flexing today
twitchquotes:
πͺ π roses are red πͺ π violets are blue πͺ π i'm flexing today πͺ π why aren't you?? πͺ π
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I saw Flying Lotus at a grocery store
twitchquotes:
I saw Flying Lotus at a grocery store in Los Angeles yesterday. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didnβt want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything.
He said, βOh, like youβre doing now?β
I was taken aback, and all I could say was βHuh?β but he kept cutting me off and going βhuh? huh? huh?β and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen Milky Ways in his hands without paying.
The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like βSir, you need to pay for those first.β At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter.
When she took one of the bars and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually βto prevent any electrical infetterence,β and then turned around and winked at me. I donβt even think thatβs a word. After she scanned each bar and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by yawning really loudly.
twitch chat
bri'ish accent
stabbed: Oit there mate, bit rude to put that knoife in me chest innit?
chewsday: It's chewsday innit?
BLM: Black lives ma-a
spiderman: peta paka
ffs: fuh funk saek
ROIGHT wots oll dis den
Covid-19: Cowvid Nointeen
fuck you: funk yew
sub to youtube: subscribe to my youchube
you look beautyfull: yu luuk beutiful loaf
you gotta be jk: yoove gOHt to be joe king
math is hard: mafffmatic is hard, innit!?
i saw a film: I soar a film
not botherd: I'm not movered
harry potter: arry pah uh
my son is now foh yes old
nice art: Roight, look aat thi meauchiful bloody wohk of aaaht
mtdew: mointain jew