twitchquotes:
The POLICE Just Stopped ME Came Up To My Window An Said "PAPERS"? So I Said "SCISSORS" I WON & Drove OFF The guy Must Want A REMATCH Cuz He Been CHASING Me For The Past 10 MINUTES 😳😩
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(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas
Airport wifi password
twitchquotes:
📞 
HELLO TSM? 📞 TL HERE 📞 AIRPORT WIFI PASSWORD IS "123456789" 📞 waiting for fly quest
HELLO TSM? 📞 TL HERE 📞 AIRPORT WIFI PASSWORD IS "123456789" 📞 waiting for fly quest
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Riot Games
League of Legends
I am not a simp.
twitchquotes:
And I want to say this to the kings in the audience. I’ve made my mistakes in my chase for coochie. But in all of my years of chad life, I have never simped– never simped for a girl. I’ve earned every bit of cooch. And in all of my years of chad life, I have never paid for the meal. Because people have got to know whether or not I’m a simp. Well, I’m not a simp. I’ve never simped for any girl I’ve got. I am not a simp.
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Simps
I want Zarya's giant feet to squash my face
twitchquotes:
I want Zarya's giant feet to squash my face and suffocate me and gives me no mercy, I want her to squash my head with her gigantic thighs like a hand squashes a tomato. Just knowing that she is able to do that brings me to the brink of orgasmic relief, but I know she won't smash my body with her arms hugging me like the bear emote. Fuck, why does she have to be a video game character, I want Blizzard to make sex dolls, I would buy out all the Zarya models and keep them for myself
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Overwatch
Donald Trump vs Biden
Approximately 15 people have died from COVID within the first 10 MINUTES of Biden’s presidency.
Compare that with former president Donald Trump, where there was not a SINGLE death in the first 1,125 days of his glorious reign.
Not convinced? Trump created approximately 72813% more jobs in HALF of his FIRST TERM than Biden has during in his ENTIRE time as president. The numbers don’t lie Liberals 😏👌🏼
2020 US Election
Not a weeb thing
twitchquotes:
‘not a weeb thing’. try living a day in my shoes, walking around terrified of encountering normal people everywhere i go. wherever i look, people with tv show merch, people speaking english. it makes me and millions of other weebs out there feel really attacked.
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