[Copypasta] The POLICE Just Stopped ME

twitchquotes: The POLICE Just Stopped ME Came Up To My Window An Said "PAPERS"? So I Said "SCISSORS" I WON & Drove OFF The guy Must Want A REMATCH Cuz He Been CHASING Me For The Past 10 MINUTES ๐Ÿ˜ณ๐Ÿ˜ฉ
twitch chat
August 2018
I used to be a real ad
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I apologize, as my English is rather substandard

twitchquotes: I apologize, as my English is rather substandard At what whereabouts were you when the popular browser video game Club Penguin shut down? I was in mine place of residence, when my communications device informed me that someone wanted to contact me. "Club Penguin, the popular browser MMO has shut down." "I disagree"
twitch chat
January 2020

Eminem is great but...

twitchquotes: Eminem is great but I listen to 3Pac, M&Ms, 3 Chainz, Big Wayne, Small Sean, 60 Cent, Snoop Catt, Mr. Dre, Ice Cubed, Old Jeezy, Jay-Y, Soulja Girl, Jizz Khalifa, Anna Kendrick Lamar, Hard-E, Andre 2999, Big B, Weak Mill, Semi-Automatic Kelly, Adult Cudi, Wu-Tang Tag Team, KRS-Two, and Kanye East instead.
twitch chat
January 2015
Forsen

GME stock and WSB vs short sellers

Let me tell you what happens tomorrow because it's even worse than what happened today. There they are, Melvin Capital. Furiously jerking their 2 inch boomer cocks to their GME short gainz. They are so close, edging themselves with "Oh yeah, the next Blockbuster" and "Yes baby, brick and mortar go bye-bye." They even sit in a circle sucking and jerking each other off, double fisting like they're skiing down Mt. Everest with cocks instead of poles. Out of nowhere, Ryan Cohen steps in with the most massive and vieniest schlong they've ever seen. He starts eating their lunch and muttering about Cheey for games and they can't do anything because their engorged penises are stuck in eachothers mouths and poop chutes. They attempt to ignorr him and try to keep jerking but they accidentally used hand sanitizer instead of lotion. BAM GME starts rising from the ashes and the retards of WSB are lighting the fires. We brought lighters that we borrowed from our wives boyfriend's and they weren't those shitty clear one. We have motherfucking Bics and torches. Melvin is crying and pleading but we are too retarded to understand coherent English. They see giant red dildos on their screens and their buttholes begin to pucker. They dump everything they have at us in an attempt to supress the price but again, we only understand broken english and emojis. We only understand basic visuals and colors. When we see green, we buy. When we see red, we take out another student loan or CC cash advance and we buy more. We are fucking unstoppable. GME skyrockets and they start scrambling to pull dicks out of random orifices, but it's too late. Bears R Fuk. After we are done splooging all over their faces, and becoming their wife's new boyfriends, we throw Melvin and BOA on the chopping block to be liquidated and disposed of. That's what happens tomorrow, and we are gonna turn that shit into a movie.
December 2020

WallStreetBets

-15 LP Delivery

โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–Œโ–โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–Œ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–Œโ–ˆ BEEP BEEP โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–Œโ–โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–Œโ–ˆ -15 LP DELIVERY โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–Œโ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–Œ โ–€(โŠ™)โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€(โŠ™)(โŠ™)โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€(โŠ™
ascii art
July 2022

Teamfight Tactics

League of Legends

Shane Dawson tweet - i didnt fuck my cat

i didnt fuck my cat. i didnt cum on my cat. i didnt put my dick anywhere near my cat. Ive never done anything weird with my cats. I promised myself i wasnt going to make apology videos after last years thing so im just trying to be as short and honest with this as possible. (1/?)
March 2019

Classic

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