[Copypasta] The POLICE Just Stopped ME

twitchquotes: The POLICE Just Stopped ME Came Up To My Window An Said "PAPERS"? So I Said "SCISSORS" I WON & Drove OFF The guy Must Want A REMATCH Cuz He Been CHASING Me For The Past 10 MINUTES 😳😩
twitch chat
August 2018
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Blessings to you, Oh Salty One

twitchquotes: Blessings to you, Oh Salty One. This is Pope Francis, leader of the Catholic Church. My son, why do you avoid choosing Priest for your arena runs? Are you so afraid of attaining Salvation? It worries me that you prefer playing the murderous rogue or the destructive mage to the humble priest. You have sinned much already through your veganism, but atonement can be reached through more Priest runs. Thank you and God Bless.
twitch chat
July 2018
Kripp

Hearthstone

Value Town was within reach

twitchquotes: Trump couldn’t wait. Value Town was within reach and he moaned, hard, “Tuck Frump!” He was fidgety, yet Kripparrian stripped away his juvenile briefs. “He has the perfect cards…” Kripp thought in his head, “An absolutely ridiculous deck.” Cattarrian stared casually as Kripp bounced his Ragnaros off of Trump’s plump rump.
twitch chat
November 2014
Trump

Hearthstone

Hey, vsauce, Micheal here! Why is my peepee hard? Or is it?

Hey, vsauce, Micheal here! Why is my peepee hard? Or is it? Well, ya see, we need to start with the peepee itself. The hardening of the peepee is called an erection. Erection. The term itself shares a similarity with our own predecessors, Homo Erectus. That's Latin for Gay Straight. So, naturally, we can start to fill in the picture. Our predecessors, Gay Straights, also had hard peepees. Which brings us back to modern day erections. You see, an erection is a signal to tell you that you are gay, a leftover device from the era of Gay Straights. But what is "gay"? To quote Nelson Mandela, "To be gay is not to love others. It is to love yourself and to stay true in the face of many hardships and hard dicks." In Layman's terms, Nelson Mandela is trying to tell us to go fuck ourselves. This is vital to know because it puts into perspective the absolute size of gayness itself, divided into unique homogenous subgroups. Such a diverse range is exactly why the flag of LGBTQBBQ communities is a rainbow. But, you ask, how does this tie in to what gay Is? I'm getting there. Gay is a slang term for homosexual, which is to have sexual interest in someone of the same gender as yourself. To see more on the topic of gender, click the annotation on my face now for a playlist of videos specifically on the subject. So, to answer your question, your peepee is hard because you're gay. Hopefully today's little snippet was a good brain train for you. If you'd like to find other fun ways to test your mind mettle, click the annotation up here to go see some of my huge DONGs. And, as always, thanks for watching.
August 2021

HERE COMES DAT BOI

twitchquotes: ✋🐸✋🐸✋🐸✋🐸 o *** waddup 👋 here 🚲 come dat bଠi🚲🚲 right🚲🚲th 🐸 ere✋✋✋ dat 🐸 boi ✔🐸 ✔if dat boi 🐸 ƽai so 💯 i sai so 💯 thats what im talking about right there 🚲 o *** (chorus: ଠ sʰᶦᵗ) mMMMMᎷМ💯 ✋✋O0ОଠOOOOOОଠଠOoooᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒ✋ ✋ ✋ ✋ 💯 🐸🐸🐸 👋👋 waddup
twitch chat
June 2016

Emoji Pasta

Only Ninety's kids will remember This.

There once was a woman who had 100 children. She named each of them after numbers in the order they were born. There was a fire and all of them died except Ninety. Ninety went off to have kids of her own. They were very kind and loving. One day they found an injured dog. They took it home and nursed it back to health. They hid the dog and never told their mother afraid she would kick the dog out . In fact they never told anyone. To keep from arousing any suspicions they named the dog "This" so the name could be used in conversation. One day This ran away. They never saw This again. No one else knew about This. No one even knew a dog named This existed. Only Ninety's kids will remember This.
August 2021
Text-to-Speech Playing