twitchquotes:
The POLICE Just Stopped ME Came Up To My Window An Said "PAPERS"? So I Said "SCISSORS" I WON & Drove OFF The guy Must Want A REMATCH Cuz He Been CHASING Me For The Past 10 MINUTES ๐ณ๐ฉ
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I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
Only the fattest NA fan can hold his taco
only the fattest NA fan can hold his taco โ 
โ In Japan, heart surgeon
Number one. Steady hand. One day, yakuza boss need new heart. I do operation. But mistake! Yakuza boss die! Yakuza very mad! I hide fishing boat, come to America. No English, no food, no money. Darryl give me job. Now I have house, American car and new woman. Darryl save life.
My big secret. I kill yakuza boss on purpose. I good surgeon. The best!
Classic
Never lucky veganism
twitchquotes:
In a new study scientists aimed to find the origin of luck by studying an internet celebrity known as Kripparian, famous for playing a children's card game for thousands to watch, after inumerous claims of being "never lucky" while playing said game. The scientists eventually isolated a single variable known only to this particular individual: veganism. While it might yet be soon to draw any conclusions, scientists seem to agree that a meat-rich diet is indeed the cure for "never lucky".
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Kripp
Sigma male schedule
2:00 am- Wake up
2.05am-Cold shower
2.15am-breakfast,almonds, breast milk bought off Facebook, 50mg adderall
2:30am- begin workout,incline bench 2 plates,12x12 with 30 seconds of rest, no warmup.
2:45am-edging,4hrs (for disipline)
6:45am-cold shower
7:00am-begin sprint to work
8:00am-arrive at work
8:05am-get called into boss' office
8:06am-get fired from job for "repeated inappropriate comments" and "predatory behaviour"
8:10am-sprint back home
9:10am- lunch-raw cod, berries foraged on the way home, small pebbles (for digestion),50mg of adderal
9:10am-edging(as punishment)
3:00pm- bed time
MOM I NEED V-BUCKS
twitchquotes:
โ๏ธโ OK MOM โโ๏ธWE NEED TO TALK ๐ก๐ค I NEED V-BUCKS ๐๐ต I'VE MADE STRAIGHT A'S ๐๐คจ I'VE CLEANED MY ROOM ๐ซ๐คฌ I'VE TAKEN OUT THE TRASH ๐๏ธ๐ซ I CUT THE CATS ASSHOLE HAIR ๐๐ NOW I NEED YOU ๐ง๐ TO BUY ME V-BUCKS ๐๐ฅ I'VE GOTTA SHOW ๐คฏ๐คฌ MY CLOUT ON FORTNITE ๐ฅ๐๐ฏ NOW I'LL BE IN BED ๐ด๐ค BY NINE BECAUSE IT'S A SCHOOL NIGHT ๐๐๐ธ
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