twitchquotes:
Can you guys stop spamming and actually type something relevant to the match. all of you just want attention
twitch chat
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
we don't operate on empty jars of spaghetti sauce
gf is prego
we like to get kinky anyways
one night things get particularly saucy
i'm sticking my noodle in her when I notice weird fucking chunks coming out, so I turn on the lights
wtf it's red everywhere and she's obviously not on her period
i look up at her, she's got a glassy, jarred look on her face and she's not answering
ohshitohshitohshitohshit
i rush her into my car and speed all the way to the hospital
she's still bleeding everywhere
by the time we get there, she's not bleeding much anymore, but all the color has drained and she looks colorless and almost transparent
oh shit, she looks like she's in a vegetative state
storm into to the emergency room, cary her to the nearest doctor and explain eveything
he takes one look at ther and says
"sir, i'm sorry, there's nothing we can do"
"WHY THE FUCK NOT???"
"we don't operate on empty jars of spaghetti sauce"
Classic
Saying that the Easter Bunny does not orgasm with every egg laid is considered blasphemy and grounds for excommunication from the Church.
Weird fact: the Easter Bunny was the source of a significant amount of theological debate during the 1200's, as Catholic philosophers debated why God would create a creature in a constant state of labor (and thus suffering). The Catholic Church ultimately resolved this question by declaring that the Easter Bunny orgasmed every time it laid it an egg (which it was doing constantly). This is now codified in Canon Law (the legal code of the Catholic Church and much of Europe in the pre-modern era) and saying that the Easter Bunny does not orgasm with every egg laid is considered blasphemy and grounds for excommunication from the Church.
Holiday
Easter
Welcome to the $5 strip club
twitchquotes:
So I went to a Strip Club in Greece the other night and guess who i saw there. It was the Kripp with hundreds of 5 dollar bills. So the Stripper goes in a hot pose, Kripp smiles and pours himself a glass of OJ. Kripp said "Welcome to the 5 Dollar Club" and they went into a private room. Not sure what .happened then but i guess he gave her a brofist.
twitch chat
Kripp
Dyrus in Jail
twitchquotes:
Hello it is me Dyrus, from jail. This article was super superino I loved it as much as I love coach wukong. I hope this comment will make people help me get out of jailerino. Phant0mlord is always loud as a ziggs on cocoon and dexter breath smells like weederino. Pls no copy pasterino
twitch chat
Dyrus
President's Day Emoji Pasta PresiDICK's Day
Happy PresiDICKβS πππ½ DAYβΌοΈ Time β°β° to honor the DADDIES π¬π¬ of our nation πΊπΈπΊπΈ George SLUTsington π―π―, Benjamin SPANKlinππ, John HanCOCK ππ½π¦π¦π¦ These POUNDING π¨β fathers ERECTED β¬οΈβ¬οΈ their π»πCUNTstitutional dongs ππfor LADY LIBERTY π½π
π Raise that ASS π to π¦π¦ Abraham LinCUM π¦π¦, π² WOODrow Wilson ππ²π, Bill CLIT-on ππ, and the CUMmander in chief, π¦ππBarCOCK Obama π¦ππ Donβt forget Dwight D. EisenWHORE ππ© DICKlared war π«π£ on those CUMMIES π¦ππ Share in βοΈ SUCKonds or you wonβt be pounding π¨that presidential PUSSY ππ Get 5οΈβ£ back and ur a White House HOE π Get π back and ur the SUCKretary of state πππΊπΈ Get 20 back and the First Lady will make u moan π©π©π¦π¦π¦π¦π¦ HAPPY JIZZIDENTβS DAY!! Hail to the CHEEKS πππ