[Copypasta] Everyone knows the crowd are all paid actors

twitchquotes: Everyone knows the crowd are all paid actors, but did you know the chat is all paid commenters too? I can prove it - all the other paid commenters in chat will also post this
twitch chat
March 2018
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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Saitama says OK

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣶⡾⠏⠉⠙⠳⢦⡀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠞⠉⠙⠲⡀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⣴⠿⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢳⡀⠀⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢷ ⠀⠀⢠⣟⣋⡀⢀⣀⣀⡀⠀⣀⡀⣧⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⡇ ⠀⠀⢸⣯⡭⠁⠸⣛⣟⠆⡴⣻⡲⣿⠀⣸⠀⠀OK⠀ ⡇ ⠀⠀⣟⣿⡭⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢱⠀⠀⣿⠀⢹⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⡇ ⠀⠀⠙⢿⣯⠄⠀⠀⠀⢀⡀⠀⠀⡿⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⡼ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⣶⠆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡴⠃⠀⠀⠘⠤⣄⣠⠞⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣷⡦⢤⡤⢤⣞⣁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⢀⣤⣴⣿⣏⠁⠀⠀⠸⣏⢯⣷⣖⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⢀⣾⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⠛⢲⣶⣾⢉⡷⣿⣿⠵⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣼⣿⠍⠉⣿⡭⠉⠙⢺⣇⣼⡏⠀⠀⠀⣄⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣧⣀⣿.........⣀⣰⣏⣘⣆⣀⠀⠀
June 2019

Classic

Cum bee

⣿⡟⠀⢸⣿⣷⣤⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⠛⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⣿⣿⣇⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⢸⣿ ⣿⣀⣀⣀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠁⠀⠀⠀⣶⣦⡀⠀⠀⠸⣿⣿⠀⠀⢰⠄⢠⣼⣟ ⠛⠉⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠉⠻⠶⢤⣀⠀⠻⣿⣿⣶⣦⡄⠉⣿⡦⠀⠀⠸⠉⠀⠉ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣉⠷⣦⡈⠙⠛⠿⠟⠀⠀⠁⠀⠐⢠⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⣀⣶⠿⠛⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠁⠁⠀⠀⠙⣶⣤⠠⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠂⠚⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠰⠛⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢻⣿⣴⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⡞⠋⠙⠲⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠳⠛⠛⠛⠛⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⣤⡀⠀⢀⠐⠒ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣤⣤⣤⣴⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⡿⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⣷⣮⣿⣿ ⣀⠀⠀⣀⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠛⠉⠉⠉⠉⡉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢿⣿⣿ ⠉⠻⢿⣿⣿⡿⠟⣉⣀⣤⣶⣶⣶⣿⣿⠿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⣿⣦⣄⡀⠀⠈⢿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⠿⣾⣿⠛⠉⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⢻⣿⡆⠀⠸⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⢶⣶⣤⣤⣄⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣤⣤⣤⣤⣶⣶⣿⠟⠁⠀⢠⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀⣸⣿ ⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣴⣿⣿⣿⣧⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿⣿⡄⠀⠀⣴⣿⣿
October 2021

You've seen Miku on stage, but what about your wrist?

You’ve 📡👨 seen 👀👤🎅🏻 Miku on 🔛 stage, 4️⃣💖 but 😠 what 👏🏼 about 🥴 your 👉 wrist? ⌚💯 Wrist ⌚💯 World 🌍 is an AR game 🎯 using 😏 wristbands, now 🫂 featuring Hatsune Miku! Collect songs, dances, and even ✋ save 🦎 the world! 🌍 Do 👀 You 👀👦 Wrist ⌚💯 World? 🌎 wrist ⌚💯 world 🌍🌎🌏
June 2021

Emoji Pasta

Joe Biden eat hot chip and lie

twitchquotes: He lets out a sigh and then a plastic smile. “Under the Biden administration,” he says, carefully “There will be a few new rules. It will be forbidden to cook,” The crowd gasps. “Everyone will have to eat McDonalds,” Jill hangs her head in shame. “You may have to charge your phone. You may have to twerk. Hell, you may even have to be bisexual.” An uproar starts in the crowd, but Biden ushers a silence with his next words “But it will all be worth it when we as a people can eat hot chip and lie. Thank you.” Biden leaves the podium to a thunderous applause. America is saved.
twitch chat
November 2020

The tragedy of United Airlines the Overbooked

twitchquotes: Did you ever hear the tragedy of United Airlines the Overbooked? I thought not. It’s not a story the CEO would tell you. It’s a sky legend. United Airlines was an Airline of the sky, so powerful and so overbooked he could use Force to influence the passengers to give up their seats… He had such a knowledge of the police that he could even keep the employees he cared about from not having a seat. The police's use of Force is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural. He became so powerful… the only thing he was afraid of was losing his seat, which eventually, of course, he did. Unfortunately, he taught his apprentice everything he knew, then his apprentice KO'd him and took his seat. Ironic. He could save others from losing their seats, but not himself.
twitch chat
April 2017

Tragedy of Darth Plagueis The Wise

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