[Copypasta] Everyone knows the crowd are all paid actors

twitchquotes: Everyone knows the crowd are all paid actors, but did you know the chat is all paid commenters too? I can prove it - all the other paid commenters in chat will also post this
twitch chat
March 2018
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HADOUKEN

twitchquotes: ༼つಠ益ಠ༽つ ─=≡ΣO)) HADOUKEN
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp

Morbius is love. Morbius is life.

I was only nine years old. I loved Morbius so much, I had all the merchandise and movies. I'd pray to Morbius every night before I go to bed, thanking for the life I've been given. "Morbius is love", I would say, “Morbius is life". My dad hears me and calls me a faggot. I knew he was just jealous for my devotion of Morbius. I called him a cunt. He slaps me and sends me to go to sleep. I'm crying now and my face hurts. I lay in bed and it's really cold. A warmth is moving towards me. I feel something touch me. It's Morbius. I'm so happy. He whispers in my ear, “It’s morbin time". He grabs me with his powerful morby hands, and puts me on my hands and knees. I spread my ass-cheeks for Morbius. He penetrates my butthole. It hurts so much, but I do it for Morbius. I can feel my butt tearing as my eyes start to water. I push against his force. I want to please Morbius. He roars a mighty roar, as he fills my butt with his love. My dad walks in. Morbius looks him straight in the eye, and says, "Get morbed". Morbius leaves through my window. Morbius is love. Morbius is life.
June 2022

Morbius

G2, aka “Gold 2”

twitchquotes: G2, aka “Gold 2”, named after their players average skill level. They are currently the best team in EU and are best known for their inting midlaner, CRAPS, and their inability to defeat PVB, Vietnam’s worst team.
twitch chat
September 2019
Riot Games

League of Legends

I went to see Cars in the theater yesterday

Ok, this is ABSOLUTE fucking bullshit. I went to see Cars in the theater yesterday, and when Lightning McQueen got HOT with Sally in Radiator Springs, my boner engaged. When Lightning McQueen said "Ka-Chow!", I couldn't help it!!! I closed my eyes, and I TORE my dick to shreds, using whip like motions and pulled with great force. That was one of the best nuts I ever had, just thinking about it now gets me riled up. Thing is, I nutted all over the kid sitting right next to me, and his mom got all pissed at me, screaming at me for jacking off on her son. I told that bitch to shut the fuck up, and that jacking off is a natural, artistic, and beautiful process. You should BE HAPPY that my semen is all over your son, maybe he can learn a lesson or two about the culture and art of jacking off. HOWEVER, the movie theater managers didn't agree with me. They KICKED ME OUT of the movie theater, and I didn't even finish watching the Cars movie. Not only THAT, but they made me clean up my semen after it already dried out and solidified on the seats. THATS TORTURE!! Do you know how hard it is to clean semen after its dried out? You CLEAN semen after its FRESH out of your cock, not an hour after you fucking nutted. This is a fucking OUTRAGE. Do you really expect me to not whip out my cock and jack off when i see a HOT sex scene in a movie? Either don't ban sex scenes in movies, or LET ME jack off in your theater, assholes.
December 2020

A collecion of OwOs and their uses

twitchquotes: A collecion of OwOs and their uses: OwO : Standard use, for noticing bulges owo : When the bulge isn't as big uwu : When you're not impressed by the bulge or there isn't one ÒwÓ : Mischievous OwO, for when you're feeling devious □w□ : The OwO for people who wear glasses ●w● : The OwO if you're wearing sunglasses Owo : For feeling confused of the bulge ♡w♡ : The legendary OwO, used for bulges so large that you get heart eyes from it. Do not use this emote lightly, for the power of it is great
twitch chat
February 2019

Weebs

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