[Copypasta] Everyone knows the crowd are all paid actors

twitchquotes: Everyone knows the crowd are all paid actors, but did you know the chat is all paid commenters too? I can prove it - all the other paid commenters in chat will also post this
twitch chat
March 2018
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

What's that?

twitchquotes: "Octavian," weeps a heartbroken Rania, "we need to talk. I'm not happy anymore. Your frail, vegan body no longer satisfies me. I asked you for a child, and all you gave me was this mangy mutt. Well, I've got news for you. I'm pregnant, and I bet you know who the father is. That's right, it's Tanner from Foot Locker. I'm leaving you, Octavian, you've ruined everything. Do you have anything to say for yourself?" Kripp lifts the headphone off his ear and glances in Rania's direction. "What's that?"
twitch chat
May 2019
Kripp

Chat stop spamming XD

twitchquotes: Hey chat, right now im very sleepy and unable to read chat. I got my dog reading chat out loud for me so i can enjoy chat with you guys. He keeps yelling "XD" to me so i suspect chat is spamming XD. Plz stop as youre confusing my dog and hes getting upset. Thank you much appreciate.
twitch chat
May 2019

Raise ur Blue Cards

twitchquotes: ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ノ ʀᴀɪsᴇ ᴜʀ BLUE CARDS ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ノ
twitch chat
May 2014
Trick2g

Enjoy your ban and never come here again

twitchquotes: hey guys when i ban ur ass for posting fucking stupid ass spam dont fucking come to me crying "wahh hwahh i got banned i wasnt doing anything i just asked what build he was going" no u didnt ask that shit u fucking posted huge ass copypasta enjoy ur fucking ban and never come here again
twitch chat
August 2014
imaqtpie

Response to "go fuck yourself"

What if I'm already fucking myself? Behind this simple insult hides a universal paradox that may put your sexuality in question. Let's do a simple thought experiment: imagine us two standing in front of each other. I, of course, am wearing a pair of jeans, that are covering my genitals and my butt. You then command me to "go fuck myself". I may be fucking myself already. I may as well not be fucking myself already. Until my dick and its position relative to my ass is observed, it is simultaneously in my ass, but also outside of it - thus, it stays in superposition. The moment you lay eyes on my penis, both states collide with each other and become either one. You may have already guessed what the problem here is. As soon as a single photon reflected by my dick enters either one of your eyes, you become gay. The only way to avoid this is to not observe my penis. But if you don't look at it, then you will never know if your insult had any effect, thus rendering it meaningless. Since you have already made the insult, you are now, too, in superposition - you're either wrong, or gay. It's unfortunate, really - you dug a hole for yourself without even knowing it. All you can do now is accept it, and learn from your mistakes.
April 2020

Classic

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