[Copypasta] Everyone knows the crowd are all paid actors

twitchquotes: Everyone knows the crowd are all paid actors, but did you know the chat is all paid commenters too? I can prove it - all the other paid commenters in chat will also post this
twitch chat
March 2018
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Kripp and the Hardcore Police

twitchquotes: ΰΌΌ β–€ΜΏΜΏΔΉΜ―ΜΏΜΏβ–€ΜΏ ΜΏ ΰΌ½ Kripp, this is the hardcore police, it has come to our attention that you RIP in peace above the allowed average hardcore limit. We are here to inform you that your channel prefix must be changed into cl (casual-life) as a repercussion to better represent your current lifestyle. This will be the last warning. ΰΌΌ β–€ΜΏΜΏΔΉΜ―ΜΏΜΏβ–€ΜΏ ΜΏ ΰΌ½ ᴊ
twitch chat
May 2014
Kripp

YEP COCK is modern expression of bacchic spirit

twitchquotes: Those plebs simply dont get it, all those who oppose YEP COCK are nothing more than a band of simpletons. YEP COCK is modern expression of bacchic spirit. YEP COCKER entering a chat is like priest of Dionysus Enorches, wielding a thyris and bearing wreath of grapevine. As the elder priest leading cultists in state of bacchic haze to sacred Eleusis YEP COCKER announces the unbridled joy of YEP COCKERY by the simple sign of YEP COCK which lets everyone forget of their quotidian struggles.
twitch chat
June 2020

Kreygasm

β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–„β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–€β–ˆβ–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–„β– β–€β–’β–’β–’β–€β– β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–’β–„β–„β–Œβ–’β–β–„β–„β–’β–β–ˆβ–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–€β–€β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–’β–’β–’β–’β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–’β–’β–’β–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–β–ˆβ–Œβ–’β–’β–β–ˆβ–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘
November 2014

Hello gentleman, I have suffered a loss of 69K

Hello gentleman, I regretfully wish to share with you all that I shant comment on this Internet forum henceforth. As of the time of my arrival in this past autumn, I have suffered a loss of 69K. By the blessing of Lady Luck, I am still experiencing a positive net balance of 420%, so I have come to the conclusion I must liquidate my insignificant phallus account. I shall use this fortune for procuring a vaginal enlargement and acquire tremendous breasts for my OnlyAristocracy parchment. Or I may be devilish and maintain an investment position in TournamentCease. I am short of hours of leisure in life, training dogs to consume peanut butter from the reaches of my posterior and can not bare the rapid change of value of my investment holdings of 40 point 7 grand. I am aware that you, my peers of this financial derivatives Internet forum are filled with ecstasy to become privy to this, so copulate with yourself, I desire you all to be ablaze in nonheteronormative ursine hell in tandem with Sadam.
March 2021

WallStreetBets

Saving up salt for a trip to Greece to touch the Kripp

twitchquotes: I want to touch the kripp, I tell myself. I save up my salt for years to get a trip to greece. I ring the dong bell and out the comes the border kripp face, I smell the aroma of salt and prosterinos. In his hand is a ornate salt shaker and one of reynads 15 guitars. He shoots me in the face with a fireball saying "Assume they have fireball, cause they do have fireball" from that day foward Ive never washed my face again.
twitch chat
September 2014
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing