[Copypasta] Hello there, Octavian! This is Kurt McGriff

twitchquotes: Hello there, Octavian! This is Kurt McGriff, executive producer for the Food Channel. We have reviewed your recent application to be a host of your own TV show on our network titled, "Salty Vegan Eats - A Pro Gamer's Way of Life" However, after further reviewing your claim of being an "extremely popular professional gamer" we found the evidence lacking. Mr. Octavian, casually playing a children's card game does not make you a "pro gamer." Have a nice day and good luck to your future endeavors.
twitch chat
July 2017
Kripp

salty

(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Kripp Copypastas

Ben Brode purifies Anduin

twitchquotes: Ben Brode twirls his fingers in Anduins soft dirty blond hair. "If I do this, will you make me great again?" Anduin asks as he starts to undress. "Just do as I say and I'll give you the next Dr. Boom". Anduin nods as Ben Brode slams his Temple Enforcer into Anduins 0/5 lightwell. After Boom-botting for 3 seconds, "HAAHAAHAA! YOU HAVE BEEN PURIFIED!" Brode yells as he SCAMAZes all over Anduins face.
twitch chat
August 2016
Kripp

Hearthstone

It can only be described as a Twisting Nether

twitchquotes: I gasp in horror as Kripp pulls out his "huge gun". It can only be described as a Twisting Nether. He says "I got lethal now ". Then he topdecks Blizzard and frosts my face. I groan as he grabs my package and whispers "No sniperinos on my stream..." Then he continues to Gorehowl me.
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp

Hearthstone

This guy's girlfriend is CRAZY!

twitchquotes: ☑ “This guy's girlfriend is CRAZY!” ☑ “My Rania can't win against a hot blonde like that” ☑ "She NEEDED precisely those two big breasts to win" ☑ "She had the perfect cameltoe" ☑ “There was nothing I couldn't do to her” ☑ “I ate her perfectly” ☑ “What a slut”
twitch chat
July 2014
Kripp

This Copypasta Is CRAZY!

EU TEST PASSED

twitchquotes: ☑ Veganism ☑ Poverty ☑ Refugees ☑ No Guns ☑ Bad Teeth ☑ High Prices ☑ Allahu Ackbar ☐ Relevant in 2016 ☑ High Tax ☑ Low Wages ☑ No Freedom ☑ EU TEST PASSED
twitch chat
June 2016
Kripp

EU vs NA

Tempostorm royalty fees

twitchquotes: (◕‿◕✿) Dear Mr. Kripp. We at Tempostorm have heard that you have used the coined word "Tempo" in a stream today. Reynad will contact you shortly regarding royalty fees. Have a good Tempo Day Back (◕‿◕✿)
twitch chat
April 2015
Kripp
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