[Copypasta] Hello there, Octavian! This is Kurt McGriff

twitchquotes: Hello there, Octavian! This is Kurt McGriff, executive producer for the Food Channel. We have reviewed your recent application to be a host of your own TV show on our network titled, "Salty Vegan Eats - A Pro Gamer's Way of Life" However, after further reviewing your claim of being an "extremely popular professional gamer" we found the evidence lacking. Mr. Octavian, casually playing a children's card game does not make you a "pro gamer." Have a nice day and good luck to your future endeavors.
twitch chat
July 2017
Kripp

salty

What happened to this ad? :(
More Kripp Copypastas

Feminist deck

twitchquotes: Kripp you should make a feminist deck with double equality and faceless manipulator (because all are equal), double stonetusk boar (because all men are swines) and a lot of beast synergy (because all men are animals). Thanks Kripp
twitch chat
March 2015
Kripp

Tell us what's in the sandwich

twitchquotes: ̿ ̿'̿'̵з=༼ ▀̿Ĺ̯▀̿ ̿ ༽=ε/̵/’̿’̿ ̿ ̿[} ̿ ̿ ̿ ̿^ tell us what's in the sandwich and nobody gets hurt kripp ̿ ̿'̿'̵з=༼ ▀̿Ĺ̯▀̿ ̿ ༽=ε/̵/’̿’̿ ̿ ̿[} ̿ ̿ ̿ ̿^
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

I want to become a hearth

twitchquotes: I want to become a hearth. I know there’re people out there just like me, but I’m different. On November 14th, I’m moving to Jamestown; home of the hearths. I’ve cut off my arms, and now light myself on fire everywhere I go as training. I'm not be a hearth yet, but if you give me a chance, I will become the greatest hearth.
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp

Exercise caution and stay away from the Subs

twitchquotes: SECURITY ALERT: A Romanian man, roughly 6'5", skeleton thin, with black hair and scraggly beard has been seen riding the NYC Sub train and violently "Bro-Fisting" passengers. He's accompanied by a short Asian man dressed as Hitler who reputedly cuts out the tongue of anyone who refuses to give him $5. Exercise caution and stay way from the Subs!
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

Hearthstone

Donger Song

twitchquotes: I like to raise my Donger I do it all the time ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ノ and every time its lowered┌༼ຈل͜ຈ༽┐ I cry and start to whine ┌༼@ل͜@༽┐But never need to worry ༼ ºل͟º༽ my Donger's staying strong ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ノA Donger saved is a Donger earned so sing the Donger song! ᕦ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ᕤ
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp
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