[Copypasta] Hello there, Octavian! This is Kurt McGriff

twitchquotes: Hello there, Octavian! This is Kurt McGriff, executive producer for the Food Channel. We have reviewed your recent application to be a host of your own TV show on our network titled, "Salty Vegan Eats - A Pro Gamer's Way of Life" However, after further reviewing your claim of being an "extremely popular professional gamer" we found the evidence lacking. Mr. Octavian, casually playing a children's card game does not make you a "pro gamer." Have a nice day and good luck to your future endeavors.
twitch chat
July 2017
Kripp

salty

(β–€ΜΏΔΉΜ―β”œβ”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Kripp Copypastas

Not enough brofisting

twitchquotes: Dear Mister-I'm-Too-Good-To-Bro-Fist-All-My-Subs, this'll be the last pasta I ever send your ***. It's been six months and still no word - I don't deserve it? I know you got my last two pastas; I wrote the Kappas on 'em perfect. I'm in the chat right now, spamming penises in r9k. Hey Kripp, I drank a fifth of OJ, you dare me to riot?
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Kripp complains

twitchquotes: The opponent mulligans his cards. "Oh my god dude, are you kidding me?" says Kripp. The opponent plays a 2 drop. "Seriously dude? This is crazy." The opponent draws a card at the start of their turn. "No fckin way dude, I can't beat that." The opponent hero powers. "This is some crazy RNG bullshit" says Kripp.
twitch chat
May 2016
Kripp

Hearthstone

salty

Copypastus Totalus

twitchquotes: β•°( Ν‘Β° ΝœΚ– Ν‘Β° )γ€β”€β”€β˜†*:γƒ»οΎŸ Copypastus Totalus!! I can't believe people actually take time out of their day to copy and paste messages instead of contributing to chat. What kind of inhuman degenerate would take pleasure in wasting valuable chat space? Quite FrankerZly, it's discusseding.
twitch chat
April 2015
Kripp

Stop objectifying Kripp

twitchquotes: I am honestly so sick and tired of people objectifying Kripp. Like yeah I get it he's a hyper-attractive vegan with large muscles and a beautiful aesthetic but that's not the point of the stream. I remember the good old days when he played PoE and everyone was just here for the memes and the gameplay but things have changed. Don't get me wrong, I can appreciate the healthy lifestyle Kripp has adopted and I find it hard to look away from the camera but it just feels wrong. Maybe I'm just jealous
twitch chat
July 2017
Kripp

Greek Prime Minister Georgios Pastopoulos

twitchquotes: Hello Kripp, this is Greek Prime Minister Georgios Pastopoulos, since you left our exports of 'BROFISTS' have dropped to 0 and the economy is in shambles. What little food we can afford is used to feed a sad betrayed cat we found. Please come back.
twitch chat
July 2015
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing