twitchquotes:
in germany we have a beautiful saying if you like a girl "deine mutter lutscht schwΓ€nze in der hΓΆlle" it means your smile brightens my day 
Please no copy pasta
Please no copy pasta
twitch chat
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
we don't operate on empty jars of spaghetti sauce
gf is prego
we like to get kinky anyways
one night things get particularly saucy
i'm sticking my noodle in her when I notice weird fucking chunks coming out, so I turn on the lights
wtf it's red everywhere and she's obviously not on her period
i look up at her, she's got a glassy, jarred look on her face and she's not answering
ohshitohshitohshitohshit
i rush her into my car and speed all the way to the hospital
she's still bleeding everywhere
by the time we get there, she's not bleeding much anymore, but all the color has drained and she looks colorless and almost transparent
oh shit, she looks like she's in a vegetative state
storm into to the emergency room, cary her to the nearest doctor and explain eveything
he takes one look at ther and says
"sir, i'm sorry, there's nothing we can do"
"WHY THE FUCK NOT???"
"we don't operate on empty jars of spaghetti sauce"
Classic
Twitch is banning users who don't post in chat
twitchquotes:
ββββββββββββββββββββββββ 
Warning: As an anti-AFK measure, Twitch is randomly banning users who don't post in chat often enough. To avoid being falsely banned, please copy paste this message periodically to remain active. Thank you for your understanding. ββββββββββββββββββββββββ
Warning: As an anti-AFK measure, Twitch is randomly banning users who don't post in chat often enough. To avoid being falsely banned, please copy paste this message periodically to remain active. Thank you for your understanding. ββββββββββββββββββββββββ
twitch chat
Hammer and sickle
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I was watching you play Prismata yesterday and fell asleep
twitchquotes:
Hey Kripp. I was watching you play Prismata yesterday and fell asleep. In my dream I was playing prismata and fell asleep. The same thing happened in my dream's dream. It was the worst nightmare ever and I woke up in a cold sweat. Please don't play prismata anymore I don't want to go through that again. Pls no copy pastrami.
twitch chat
Kripp
Uma Jan laughs at fear, afraid of nothing
twitchquotes:
β€Uma Jan laughs at fear, afraid of nothing, He does not shy away from the sword.The quiver rattles against his side, along with the flashing spear and lance. In frenzied excitement he eats up the enemies! He cannot stand still when the game start,our lord and saviour Uma Jan.β€
twitch chat