twitchquotes:
πππ S T A Y W O K E
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I used to be a real ad
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Can you take it easy with your complaints about Flamestrike?
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Hey Kripp. Can you take it easy with your complaints about Flamestrike? My friend is a developer at Blizzard and he invented Flamestrike. He has been getting spam letters in the mail threatening to "brofist" him. These spammers claim to be "insane" and "crazy" and "have exactly what they need to beat him." I am worried for him, please help. Thanks man.
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Kripp
Hearthstone
Parody names for the ACDC song Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap
Atrocious Acts Accomplished at Affordable Rates
Barbaric Business Bartered at Bargain Costs
Contemptible Coups Carried out at Cut Rates
Dastardly Doings Dealt at Discounted Payments
Evil Endeavors Enacted at Extraordinary Deals
Filthy Feats Furnished through Fair Expenses
Gross Games Garnished through Good Contracts
Heinous Hooliganism Haggled to Humble Budget
Immoral Incidents Issued at Inconsequential Fees
Jarring Jobs Judged Justly Priced
Kriminal Kapers Kompleted at Kompetitive Prices
Licentious Larceny Licensed at Low Tariffs
Malicious Missions Made with Minimal Resources
Nefarious Notions Negotiated at Negligible Charges
Ominous Operations Outsourced at Optimal Prices
Perilous Performances Priced at Pocket Change
Questionable Quests Quarried at Quackpot Terms
Rambunctious Rackets Realized at Reduced Figures
Sinister Shenanigans Supplied at Satisfactory Pay
Thuggish Things Terminated at Trivial Fees
Unscrupulous Undertakings Unleashed at Unusual Discount
Villanous Ventures Valued at Vexing Costs.
Wicked Work Waged at Wee Fares
Xecrable Xploits Xecuted Xtremely Inexpensively
Yucky Yerks Yielded as Year-End Sales
Zany Zinging Zoned for Zero Markup
To be fair, you need a very high IQ to understand The Bible
To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand The Bible. The humour is extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of theoretical physics most of the jokes will go over a typical viewer's head. There's also Jesusβs nihilistic outlook, which is deftly woven into his characterisation- his personal philosophy draws heavily from Narodnaya Volya literature, for instance. The fans understand this stuff; they have the intellectual capacity to truly appreciate the depths of these jokes, to realise that they're not just funny- they say something deep about LIFE. As a consequence people who dislike The Bible truly ARE idiots- of course they wouldn't appreciate, for instance, the humour in Godβs existential catchphrase "Never trust anyone completely but God." which itself is a cryptic reference to Turgenev's Russian epic Fathers and Sons. I'm smirking right now just imagining one of those addlepated simpletons scratching their heads in confusion as King James's genius wit unfolds itself on the pages. What fools.. how I pity them. π And yes by the way, I DO have a Bible tattoo. And no, you cannot see it. It's for the ladies' eyes only- And even they have to demonstrate that they're within 5 IQ points of my own (preferably lower) beforehand.
I dropped my notes
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Kripp
You abhorrent scum. You ignorant fool. I will sue you
You abhorrent scum. You ignorant fool. I will sue you. You are going to be the target of the greatest lawsuit the world has ever seen. You don't know why? It's completely obvious. It's so obvious, the most deplorable peasant could grasp the full magnitude of your wickedness and treachery with the greatest of ease. Your actions cry out for mercy, and I will be happy to deliver it. And if you're thinking this is a mistake, or merely a deception of mine, you're sadly mistaken, my friend. I have indisputable proof of your continued harassment and other offenses. Even without it, the jury would take one look at you and decide. The incomprehensible magnitude of your crimes brings with it unavoidable, infinite guilt, and whether you notice it or not, everyone else does. Are you interested in who will be serving as the offense attorney? I'll tell you. It's my father. Your defense? It doesn't matter, in fact, they might just not give you one even to spare just one individual from the trauma. My father is the greatest lawyer in the US, the world, and human history, including the future, which he knows due to the fact that he sued the future and they travelled back in time to tell him. He's served for hundreds of Supreme Court cases, and he's won every single one. You may have never thought about being court-marshaled, but now, that's a real threat. That is the power of my father, a culmination of flawless, supreme logic and a perfect knowledge of the law. You will lose this case, your money, and your life. Does that scare you, insignificant bug? Because it should. The entire history of the U.S. Judicial System has been leading up to this moment, where all of its fury is concentrated on ruining your life. My father won't even need to help. Your heinous crimes will be evident to all, so just give up, you crook. Give up before you're forced to.