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i start cracking bongland jokes inna bri'ish accent. Am I the asshole?
>hanging out with friend group
>one guy facetimes some british slag he knows
>i start cracking bongland jokes inna bri'ish accent
>say she sounds like hermione
>Make some joke about earl grey tea
>she says, "ask this fuck'a how you even make earl grey tea
>Say, "toss it in the boston harbor"
>bongchick gets all pissed off
>friend asks me to leave
Am I the asshole?
greentext
British People
Amogus 700 years in the future
Imagine, 700 years in the future, through some last vestige of the internet kept in an underground server, a notification miraculously appears on your device (which has been preserved in nuclear dust from the 5th world war). One night, an alien working a late shift at the museum of archeology notices the cracked screen suddenly light up, and upon it, one word arises from the battered code: Amogus. They do not know what this word means. They ponder it deeply. They scour the ancient tomes, desperate to understand its mystifying origin. It drives them mad. Is it a primeval cipher? The motto of a bygone civilization? A message from God? Night after night they study it by candlelight. They flip through pages in books so old, the slightest cough would turn the paper to a fine off-white powder. The answer is nowhere to be found. And then they are struck by a revelation: I was not meant to know this word. Its esoteric nature escapes my grasp for a reason. What if its meaning is too enlightening to bear? With this revelation comes anger. Spite. Despair. Why shouldn't I understand it?! What cosmic forces are there at play to keep me from such knowledge?! In a fit of desperate rage, they shatter your device against a wall and exclaim, arms raised to the heavens: "This is literally 1984!" Silence... Their pleas are unanswered. Sadly, in the end, their inability to unlock the word's meaning drives them to suicide. Its secrets are never known. So I ask you this: is it better to die having never understood the true mind-bending nature of Amogus, or to be driven mad by the little spaceman in his blood-red suit? If you knew enlightenment would render you incapable of living on this mortal earth without making daily references to a game of space mafia, would you accept it? With knowledge comes power, but also endless suffering. Choose wisely, and be wary when standing at the edge of that great abyss we call "the Truth," lest you fall too deep.
Among Us / Amogus
Leifman, please go back to work in the salt plant
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Stop it, guys. I'm Leifman's sister, and mother of our beautiful little daughter, Leifgirl. The spam and constant harassment in this chat is driving my beloved Leifman insane. Since he became moderator, he's spending all his time here, and can't provide for his family, anymore. Please, Leifman, get back to work in our salt plant, we need the money.
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Kripp
LGBTQQIP2SAA+ should have another S for straight people
As you may be aware, LGBTQQIP2SAAA is an all inclusive acronym for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Questioning, Queer, Intersex, Pansexual, Two-Spirit (2S), Androgynous, Asexual and Allies. However, this is not all inclusive at all because it omits an S for Straight people like me.
And before you say "Ally covers straight people", please know that I can't be an ally because I hate gays. I'm straight and I don't agree with any of this, but I should be a part of the rainbow