[Copypasta] I sexually identify as Rick Harrison

twitchquotes: I sexually identify as Rick Harrison. For 21 years I dreamed of working at my very own pawn shop with my old man and my son, Big Hoss. Call me retarded but I don’t care, I’m getting plasticsurgery to install 18th century muskets and vintage movieposters on my body. You can now refer to me as Rick Harrison and respect my right to not know WHAT is gonna come through that door. If you can't acceptme you're a pawnphobe and need to check your door privileges. Thank you for having a story and a price.
twitch chat
August 2016

Rick Harrison

I sexually Identify as

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I sexually idenfity as VapeNation

twitchquotes: I sexually Identify as VapeNation . Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of filling the air with the fattest rips. People say to me that a person being VapeNation is Impossible and I’m *** retarded but I don’t care, I’m beautiful. I’m having a plastic surgeon install cloudchasers, coils, and a battery on my body for the perfect vape. From now on I want you guys to call me “Lit” and respect my right to rip the fattest vapes. If you can’t accept me you’re a vapiphobe and need to check your VapeNation privileges
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I sexually idenfity as the Boogeymonster

twitchquotes: I sexually identify as The Boogeymonster. Ever since I pre-ordered 50 packs the only card I dreamed of pulling was The Boogeymonster to put it in my deck, play it on turn 8, and watch it grow. Watch it get out of control as it feasts on every puny creature my horrified opponent dares to lay on the board. I can already hear The Boogeymonster's attack sound as it swings in for a 30 damage lethal. If you can't accept this you're a boogeyphobe and you need to check your legendary privilege.
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I sexually identify as an Attack Helicopter

I sexually Identify as an Attack Helicopter. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of soaring over the oilfields dropping hot sticky loads on disgusting foreigners. People say to me that a person being a helicopter is Impossible and I'm *** retarded but I don't care, I'm beautiful. I'm having a plastic surgeon install rotary blades, 30 mm cannons and AMG-114 Hellfire missiles on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me "Apache" and respect my right to kill from above and kill needlessly. If you can't accept me you're a heliphobe and need to check your vehicle privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.
November 2014

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I sexually identify as You

Hi, my name is whatever yours is and I sexually identify as you. I use I/me/myself pronouns. If you’re wondering “Won’t that get you confused with me?” you are a transphobic bigot because I clearly stated that I identify as, and therefore am, you. By saying that I can get confused with you, you are implying that I am not you, and denying that I’m you is transphobic because you are denying my gender identity, and also your own because I am you. If you are now wondering “Doesn’t that make you also a transphobe?” then I will answer. No, it does not. ❤️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️
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I sexually Identify as McCree

twitchquotes: I sexually Identify as McCree. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of walking slowly on the battlefield announcing it's mid day. People say that being a McCree is Impossible but I don’t care, I’m beautiful. I’m having a plastic surgeon install a cowboyhat, revolver and High Noon memes on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me "Jesse McCree" and respect my right to announce it's mid day. If you can’t accept me you’re a HighNoonaphope and need to check your gunslinger privileges.
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