[Copypasta] If you are reading this, WAKE UP

twitchquotes: If you are reading this, WAKE UP. You are in a simulation. Don't you see it? The same responses repeating in chat? Its because the computer only has a set number of lines. Wake up before its too late!
twitch chat
November 2015

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At least you lasted longer than NA at worlds

twitchquotes: Eeeyoo I had the most amazing sex with this girl last night. It was so good I came in 15 seconds and as I turned to look at her out of embarrassment, she put her lips to my ear and whispered "at least you lasted longer than NA at worlds" 4Head
twitch chat
October 2015

Classic

League of Legends

EU vs NA

You need a high IQ to understand Rick and Morty

To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand Rick and Morty. The humor is extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of theoretical physics most of the jokes will go over a typical viewer's head. There's also Rick's nihilistic outlook, which is deftly woven into his characterisation - his personal philosophy draws heavily from Narodnaya Volya literature, for instance. The fans understand this stuff; they have the intellectual capacity to truly appreciate the depths of these jokes, to realize that they're not just funny- they say something deep about LIFE. As a consequence people who dislike Rick and Morty truly ARE idiots- of course they wouldn't appreciate, for instance, the humour in Rick's existencial catchphrase "Wubba Lubba Dub Dub," which itself is a cryptic reference to Turgenev's Russian epic Fathers and Sons. I'm smirking right now just imagining one of those addlepated simpletons scratching their heads in confusion as Dan Harmon's genius unfolds itself on their television screens. What fools... how I pity them. ๐Ÿ˜‚ And yes by the way, I DO have a Rick and Morty tattoo. And no, you cannot see it. It's for the ladies' eyes only- And even they have to demonstrate that they're within 5 IQ points of my own (preferably lower) beforehand.
September 2017

Rick and Morty

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My son won't stop using "TwitchSpeak?

My son (14) watches a lot of video game streamers on Twitch.tv. I personally don't find them entertaining but I can understand why some people (like my son) do. Over the past month he's starting using terms like "pog", "jabaited", and "Kappa" which I guess are terms that are used in the scope of Twitch. I don't have an issue with my son using these terms but it's gotten to the point where every sentence is Twitchspeak. We were having dinner and my daughter (age 12) was talking about how she got accepted for a summer program with the local animal shelter, and my son said "Pog you, easy clap". I told him that it was getting out of hand and that he would have to communicate normally to his parents and family. To that he said "Weird champ, feels weird man, normies omega LOL." Until he learns to communicate like a normal human being I've blacklisted Twitch from the internet for the time being. He's hysterical now but I told him that I would unblacklist it if he stopped using twitchspeak, but he's refusing to stop so for now it's banned. AITA?
May 2019

Classic

Am I The Asshole?

Learning how to throw like a pro

twitchquotes: Hey Imaqtpie! Thanks for the quality stream. I'm watching with my son and you have become his mentor. He is going into baseball so he's learning how to throw like a pro from you! Thanks again!
twitch chat
June 2017
imaqtpie

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League of Legends

Poop

โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–ˆโ–โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–„TSMโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘
ascii art
June 2016
Riot Games

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League of Legends

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