[Copypasta] If you are reading this, WAKE UP

twitchquotes: If you are reading this, WAKE UP. You are in a simulation. Don't you see it? The same responses repeating in chat? Its because the computer only has a set number of lines. Wake up before its too late!
twitch chat
November 2015

Classic

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Hello, Kripparrian, this is your ass, Assarrian

twitchquotes: Hello, Kripparrian, this is your ass, Assarrian, with a humble request to stop talking out of me. I know it's fun to pretend like you have any idea what you're talking about, and to pull random statistics out of me to support whatever point you're awkwardly trying to make, but come on! I have a hard enough time dealing with the vegan garbage in your digestive tract! Do us both a favor and use your brain once in a while! Thanks! - Assarrian.
twitch chat
December 2017
Kripp

Classic

I like to creep around my home and act like a goblin

I like to creep around my home and act like a goblin I donā€™t know why but I just enjoy doing this. Maybe itā€™s my way of dealing with stress or something but I just do it about once every week. Generally Iā€™ll carry around a sack and creep around in a sort of crouch-walking position making goblin noises, then Iā€™ll walk around my house and pick up various different ā€œtrinketsā€ and put them in my bag while saying stuff like ā€œIā€™ll be having thatā€ and laughing maniacally in my goblin voice (ā€œtrinketsā€ can include anything from shit I find on the ground to cutlery or other utensils). The other day I was talking with my neighbours and they mentioned hearing weird noises like what I wrote about and I was just internally screaming the entire conversation. Iā€™m 99% sure they donā€™t know itā€™s me but god that 1% chance is seriously weighing on my mind.
July 2022

Classic

Confessions

Bumper Ameng burger

twitchquotes: Bumper stared at the burger in his hand. Normally, he loved chowing down on his Big Mac like he chowed on these beta tanks like Swon or Muma or Super. But not today. Today, this burger was a sign of his failure. The double patties of meat reminded him not of succulent juicy beef but only the mighty veiny vascular muscles of Ameng. The seeded bread buns? It was Amengā€™s cheeks as he squatted on Bumperā€™s face. The tomato? It was his blood dripping off Amengā€™s hammer. The mayo? You know what it is
twitch chat
March 2019
OverwatchLeague

Classic

Overwatch

TSM aka "Tribe of Silver Monkeys"

twitchquotes: TSM, aka "Tribe of Silver Monkeys," is a team in Riot Games' Minor League that is often ridiculed for being washed-up and having an owner that looks like Wukong. It is specifically known for its obnoxious fanbase and mind-numbing throws.
twitch chat
July 2019
Riot Games

Classic

League of Legends

Just taking Reynad for a walk

twitchquotes: ā•­( Ķ”Ā° ĶœŹ– Ķ”Ā°)ā•Æā•²_____ PJSalt Oh, don't mind me, just taking Reynad for a walk.
twitch chat
November 2014
Reynad

Classic

salty

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