[Copypasta] If you are reading this, WAKE UP

twitchquotes: If you are reading this, WAKE UP. You are in a simulation. Don't you see it? The same responses repeating in chat? Its because the computer only has a set number of lines. Wake up before its too late!
twitch chat
November 2015

Classic

I used to be a real ad
More Classic Copypastas

Hello, Kripparrian, this is your ass, Assarrian

twitchquotes: Hello, Kripparrian, this is your ass, Assarrian, with a humble request to stop talking out of me. I know it's fun to pretend like you have any idea what you're talking about, and to pull random statistics out of me to support whatever point you're awkwardly trying to make, but come on! I have a hard enough time dealing with the vegan garbage in your digestive tract! Do us both a favor and use your brain once in a while! Thanks! - Assarrian.
twitch chat
December 2017
Kripp

Classic

As a teemo main at a respectably high elo

twitchquotes: As a teemo main at a respectably high elo, this game is hard to watch. Literally cringing at some of these mistakes. If you actually want to learn teemo PM me (im gold 3 24lp) I also do coaching
twitch chat
April 2018

Classic

League of Legends

Hi Kripp, sleazy video game developer here

twitchquotes: Hi Kripp, sleazy video game developer here. I understand you are willing to sell yourself out like a cheap Romanian hooker to any two-bit game development outfit as long as they dangle some shekels in front of your beady little eyes? Great! Because I have this brilliant game in beta testing right now called "Watching Paint Dry" and I am willing to pay you $5.00 USD to play it for 24 hours straight. Let me know what you think, you glorious sellout!
twitch chat
June 2016
Kripp

sellout

Classic

Comedy God has entered the building: Attack Helicopter

I Sexually Identify as an Attack Helicopter WEE WOO WEE WOO ALERT! COMEDY GOD HAS ENTERED THE BUILDING! GET TO COVER! steps on stage Bystander: "Oh god! Don't do it! I have a family!" Comedy God: "Heh..." adjusts fedora the building is filled with fear and anticipation God and Jesus himself looks on in suspense comedy god clears throat everything is completely quiet not a single sound is heard world leaders look and wait with dread everything in the world stops nothing is happening comedy god smirks no one is prepared for what is going to happen comedy god musters all of this power he bellows out to the world "ATTACK" absolute suspense everyone is filled with overwhelming dread "HELICOPTER" all at once, absolute pandemonium commences all nuclear powers launch their nukes at once giant brawls start 43 wars are declared simultaneously a shockwave travels around the earth earth is driven into chaos humanity is regressed back to the stone age the pure funny of that joke destroyed civilization itself all the while people are laughing harder than they ever did people who aren't killed die from laughter literally the funniest joke in the world then the comedy god himself posts his creation to reddit and gets karma
August 2021

Classic

Kripp can't beat anyone

twitchquotes: My dad beats me FeelsBadMan My mom beats me FeelsBadMan My brother beats me FeelsBadMan My sister beats me FeelsBadMan At least I feel safe with Kripp, because he can't beat anyone FeelsGoodMan
twitch chat
September 2016
Kripp

Classic

More Classic Copypastas
Text-to-Speech Playing