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Only the chosen one can hold his donger
twitchquotes:
8=====> Only the chosen one can hold his donger β 
β
β
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Classic
CTRL + W to activate mod status
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ββββββββββββββββββββββββ 
The broadcaster of this channel has promoted you to mod status. Please press the key combo CTRL + W on your keyboard to activate this.ββββββββββββββββββββββββ
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Math is "mental abuse to humans"
twitchquotes:
You know how some people say that math is βmental abuse to humansβ? Well, lemme tell you one thing: βMathβ is an abbreviation for βmathematicsβ, so youβre only looking at 36% of the whole thing. What does the other 64% stand for? It stands for βexcept mostly at truly intelligently cool studentsβ! That means, if you think math is mentally abusing you, youβre not truly intelligent or cool! Youβre dumb and lame! So the next time someone gives you the first 36% of this ridiculous acronym, give them the other 64%. Donβt forget to tell them that they suck at etymology.
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Classic
Oh my gourd, I am financially ruined (agricultural futures)
I have lost everything, and I'm not sure how to continue. This summer I invested $17,500 (six months salary and my entire life savings) into ornamental gourd futures, hoping to capitalize on this lucrative emerging industry. After watching a video about Vincent Kosuga and his monopoly on onions, I decided I'd try to do something similar with another vegetable. I did some research and found out many agricultural forecasters expected this year's gourd yield would be far smaller than the past, due to deteriorating soil conditions in central Mexico and a warmer-than-average spring. At first, demand soared around Halloween and prices skyrocketed, but the gourd bubble burst on November 12th. Unfortunately, the coronavirus caused a massive drop-off in demand due to fewer families decorating their tables for thanksgiving, and prices plummeted. I had invested early enough that I thought I would still be fine, but then on the morning of December 2nd, a new email in my inbox caused my stomach to turn into a pretzel. The massive gourd shipment from Argentina, scheduled for early March, had arrived. I was planning on selling off my futures right before this, in February, but this ruined everything. To top it off, the gourds in this shipment were absolutely gargantuan, some topping 4 pounds each, causing the price-per-pound to drop like an anchor into the range of 6 cents per pound. I am ruined.
Classic
WallStreetBets
hey there buddy chum pal friend
twitchquotes:
hey there buddy chum pal friend buddy pal chum bud friend fella bruther amigo pal buddy friend chummy chum chum pal i don't mean to be rude my friend pal home slice bread slice dawg but i gotta warn ya if u take one more diddly darn step right there im going to have to diddly darn snap ur neck and wowza wouldn't that be a crummy juncture, huh? do yuo want that? do wish upon yourself to come into physical experience with a crummy juncture? because friend buddy chum friend chum pally pal chum friend if you keep this up well gosh diddly darn i just might have to get not so friendly with u my friendly friend friend pal friend buddy chum pally friend chum buddy...
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