Hey Kripp Papparrian here. Im very proud of you my boy. So I bought 5 packs of OJ for you. I also booted up Pornhub for you so you can fap right away when you are home. I miss you very much. I hope you come back to Canadaland soon.
DING! The Kripps dick hardens as his wallet fills with $5 subway gift card. He stares with dead eyes into the camera, full of acknowledgment of the farce he has become. "welcome to the five dollar club" spills from his mouth as blood from an open would. The brofist happens meekly. He smiles, wondering when the sweet release of death will take him.