[Copypasta] I am a degree 6 zoosexual

I sexually identify as a single Pringle

twitchquotes: I sexually identify as a single, Pringle, ready to mingle. Ever since I was a potato I dreamed of being thin sliced, covered in disgusting oil then heated in a medium oven until reaching climax at the micro second of golden-browness. People bully me, and say things like "what the fuck, you aren't a Pringle", but I know deep down they are just jealous of my inner beauty.

twitch chat

March 2015

I sexually Identify as

I sexually Identify as a Lamborghini

twitchquotes: I sexually Identify as a ＬＡＭＢＯＲＧＨＩＮＩ. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of ＤＲＩＶing ＵＰＨＥＲＥＩＮＴＨＥＨＯＬＬＹＷＯＯＤＨＩＬＬＳ. People say to me that a person being a ＬＡＭＢＯＲＧＨＩＮＩ is Impossible and I’m ＭＡＴＥＲＩＡＬＩＳＴＩＣ but I don’t care, I’m this ＮＥＷＬＡＭＢＯＲＧＨＩＮＩＨＥＲＥ. I’m having a plastic surgeon install , 7 ＮＥＷ bookshelves and ２０００ｎｅｗｂｏｏｋｓ on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me “ＮＥＷＬＡＭＢＯＲＧＨＩＮＩＨＥＲＥ” and respect my right to ＤＲＩＶＥＵＰＨＥＲＥＩＮＴＨＥＨＯＬＬＹＷＯＯＤＨＩＬＬＳ. If you can’t accept me you’re a ＬＡＭＢＯphobe and need to check your ＧＮＡＷＬＩＤＧＥ. Thank you, and I'll see you on my website.

twitch chat

October 2016

I sexually Identify as

I sexually Identify as a Genji

twitchquotes: I sexually Identify as a Genji. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of dashing through the battlefield swift striking the disgusting enemy team. People say being Genji is Impossible but I don’t care, I can solo carry. I’m having a plastic surgeon install cyborg parts,a shuriken dispenser and a dragonblade on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me "Genji Shimada Senpai" and respect my right to ignore objectives and play team deathmatch. Ryūjin no ken wo kurae!

twitch chat

January 2017

Overwatch

I sexually Identify as

I sexually Identify as an LGM-30 Minuteman III

twitchquotes: I sexually Identify as an LGM-30 Minuteman III intercontinental ballistic missile. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of delivering a W78 nuclear warhead with an explosive yield of 3x500 kilotons of TNT anywhere on the planet at Mach 23. People say to me that a person being a Minuteman III is impossible and I’m incredibly destructive but I don’t care. I’m having Air Force Global Strike Command install new three-stage solid-fuel rocket engines and give me an $86 billion upgrade on my 59 foot body. From now on I want you guys to call me "ICBM" and respect my right to be in service until at least the 2030s. If you can’t accept me you’re missileophobe and need to check your local AFB for missile silos. Thank you, and I'll see you in WW3.

twitch chat

May 2017

I sexually Identify as

I am a degree 6 zoosexual

twitchquotes: I am a degree 6 Zoosexual, sexually and emotionally attracted to Tyrannosaurs and nothing else. Women don't even do it for me. I am cursed to live my life in the misery that my most powerful emotional fantasies will never be even close to coming true. Life is like hell to me. I will never know true love.

twitch chat

January 2015

[Copypasta] I am a degree 6 zoosexual

I sexually Identify as

I sexually Identify as

I sexually identify as a single Pringle

I sexually Identify as

I sexually Identify as a Lamborghini

I sexually Identify as

I sexually Identify as a Genji

Overwatch

I sexually Identify as

I sexually Identify as an LGM-30 Minuteman III

I sexually Identify as

I am a degree 6 zoosexual

I sexually Identify as

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