[Copypasta] I am a manager for many twitch celebrities

twitchquotes: Hello Kripp, I am a manager for many twitch celebrities. If you hire me I can arrange for your n***s to be as easy to google as the Hafu noodles. This will increase traffic to your channel by at least 50%. Your Welcome in advance, peace. Kappa Kappa 420 Kappa
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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What's that?

twitchquotes: "Octavian," weeps a heartbroken Rania, "we need to talk. I'm not happy anymore. Your frail, vegan body no longer satisfies me. I asked you for a child, and all you gave me was this mangy mutt. Well, I've got news for you. I'm pregnant, and I bet you know who the father is. That's right, it's Tanner from Foot Locker. I'm leaving you, Octavian, you've ruined everything. Do you have anything to say for yourself?" Kripp lifts the headphone off his ear and glances in Rania's direction. "What's that?"
twitch chat
May 2019
Kripp

Our Salt Lord who art in Canada. Kripparian be thy name

twitchquotes: Our Salt Lord who art in Canada. Kripparian be thy name. Thy Bad RNG come. Thy topdecks be done. On Arena as it is in Ranked. Give us this day our daily rant. And forgive us our button presses as we forgive those who don't press theirs against us. For thine is the never lucky. The bullsh*t RNG. Forever and ever. Ameno.
twitch chat
April 2017
Kripp

Hearthstone

Hey Kripp this is your new fan Edward!

twitchquotes: Hey Kripp this is your new fan Edward! I've never heard of you before but I just finished watching your HILARIOUS #FAIL video and I can safely say that it was one of the funniest and most erotic videos I have ever masturbated to in my time. Please keep making them so that my left arm will continue to grow stronger every day also BTW I am left handed
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Kripp wins Best Actor

twitchquotes: It is the 2018 Oscars and Tom Hanks stands at the podium to announce Best Actor. “Boy,” he says, “we got a real competition this year! Johnny Depp, Leo DiCaprio, George Clooney, anyone could win!” The world holds its breath to see who will win the most prestigious acting award in the world. “Wow!” says Hanks. “I don’t believe it! The winner is Kripparrian in his ‘Unsponsored’ Hero Academy 2™ Stream!”
twitch chat
March 2018
Kripp

Hearthstone

Doggies can be vegan too

twitchquotes: I am a dog being raised by a very loving family. Or at least I was, until a balding romanian gypsy kidnapped me from my home. Now he doesn't let me go outside and doesn't feed me. Every time I try to tell him I am hungry he puts green leaves in my bowl and says doggies can be vegan too if they try hard enough. I believe this man is mentally disabled. Please send help. OhMyDog
twitch chat
June 2016
Kripp
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