[Copypasta] How did you manage to get out of jail so quickly

twitchquotes: Kripp! Its Andrew from that college party last year. Man I haven't seen you in forever! How did you manage to get out of jail so quickly after beating up that defenseless hooker?!
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp
What happened to this ad? :(
More Kripp Copypastas

Thanks Kripp for saving my marriage!

twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

The unluckiest human ever

twitchquotes: BREAKING NEWS - Canadian scientists have discovered what they are calling "the unluckiest human ever". The unfortunate individual, a scraggly, foul-smelling, unkempt Canadian man, discovered this condition by badly playing a digital children's card game. "It's literally unbelievable, dude", the man told scientists. "I play every game perfectly, but my opponents just keep topdecking me!" The man continued to whine incessantly until, unfortunately, he dropped dead of a salt overdose.
twitch chat
June 2016
Kripp

Sorry, I've dropped my DREADSTEED DECK

twitchquotes: โ™ž โ™˜ โ™ž โ™˜ โ™ž โ™˜ โ™ž โ™˜ Sorry, I've dropped my DREADSTEED DECK โ™ž โ™˜ โ™ž โ™˜ โ™ž โ™˜ โ™ž โ™˜โ™ž โ™˜ โ™ž โ™˜ โ™ž โ™˜ โ™ž โ™˜ Sorry, I've dropped my DREADSTEED DECK โ™ž โ™˜ โ™ž โ™˜ โ™ž โ™˜ โ™ž โ™˜
twitch chat
August 2015
Kripp

Hearthstone

MALDHAWK

twitchquotes: Late last year, we were on an expedition to find the rarest hairstyle of them all.. the "MALDHAWK" A combination of MALD and a hawk nest, it combines the fluidity of middle aged male pattern baldness to a contrast of dead rats. Much to our chagrin, we found it April 13th, 2020, on a morose Canadian gypsy's stream. He had over 10k viewers at the time of writing this
twitch chat
April 2020
Kripp

Kripp is censoring his chat

twitchquotes: TheIlluminati Kripp is censoring his chat. Don't believe me? Look at this: Kripp is a โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ. Kripp is โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ out to g2a. Kripp is a blizzard โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ TheIlluminati SPREAD THE TRUTH TheIlluminati
twitch chat
February 2017
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing