[Copypasta] Shalom my fellow Twitchlings

twitchquotes: Shalom my fellow Twitchlings. My name is Herschel Goldstein, I hail from the ancient land of Israel. In this world there are two superior races: the valiant Japanese and the God-fearing Jews. When I met the great Kripp at Blizzcon 2013, he gave me a piece of advice that I will never forget: "Pentru a da oul omului, îl hrănești pentru o zi. Om învățat de ouă, îl va hrăni pentru o viață întreagă." Translated into foreign devil talk: I am coming Yankee scum. Get on board or get out of the way."
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp
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More Kripp Copypastas

Kripp's new sub emotes have convinced me he is a sellout

twitchquotes: ʜᴇʏ ᴋʀɪᴘᴘ, ᴛʜɪs ɪs ᴛʜᴇ ʟᴀsᴛ ʏᴏᴜ'ʟʟ ʙᴇ ʀᴇᴀᴅɪɴɢ ғʀᴏᴍ ᴍᴇ. ᴛʜᴇsᴇ ɴᴇᴡ ᴇᴍᴏᴛᴇs ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴄᴏɴᴠɪɴᴄᴇᴅ ᴍᴇ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ʏᴏᴜ'ʀᴇ ᴊᴜsᴛ ᴀɴᴏᴛʜᴇʀ sᴇʟʟ─ᴏᴜᴛ. ɪ ᴛʜᴏᴜɢʜᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡᴇʀᴇ ᴅɪғғᴇʀᴇɴᴛ ᴛʜᴀɴ ᴛʜᴇ ʀᴇsᴛ. ɪ ᴛʜᴏᴜɢʜᴛ ʏᴏᴜ sᴛʀᴇᴀᴍᴇᴅ ғᴏʀ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴠɪᴇᴡᴇʀs... ɪ ᴛʜᴏᴜɢʜᴛ, ɪ ᴛʜᴏᴜɢʜᴛ ʏᴏᴜ sᴛʀᴇᴀᴍᴇᴅ ғᴏʀ ᴍᴇ. ʙᴜᴛ ᴛʜᴀᴛ's ᴏᴠᴇʀ, ᴋʀɪᴘᴘ. ɢᴏᴏᴅʙʏᴇ
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Please stop spaming gachiGASM and gachiBASS

twitchquotes: Chat. My son is watching kripp. Please stop spaming gachiGASM and gachiBASS . It's not good for a kid to see that. He might be curious about tasting a glorious *** in the future. I dont want that.
twitch chat
May 2017
Kripp

Kripp at Blizzcon

twitchquotes: Hey Kripp, not sure if you remember me. I sat 3 rows behind you at Blizzcon 2014. I know I will never be a front row pro like you, but I want to let you know that your big head ruined me and my boyfriends experience. I know $200 might not be a lot to you, but I didn't spend $200 to watch the back of your head absorb the front part of your hairline, so next time, scoot over, k?
twitch chat
September 2018
Kripp

Dear Kripp, this is you from the future!

twitchquotes: Dear Kripp, this is you from the future!!! The fate of Earth depends on YOU! When you ignored chat and didn't place the kitty on your lap and pet it, it lead to a global economic crash and all out nuclear war!! For the love of humanity put the damn kitty in your lap now and pet it like our lives depend on it!!!!! Sincerely , Future Kripp
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Hey Kripp, how's it going, Faeria Dev here

twitchquotes: Hey Kripp, how's it going, Faeria Dev here. We noticed that your streams are interesting and entertaining. To fix this issue, we have decided to offer you money to play our very uninteresting and boring card game that is clearly a clone of Hearthstone. We look foward to future business with you and hope that you can sellout out a little bit more in the future. ResidentSleeper
twitch chat
April 2016
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing