My husband said I have "boy pussy."
I am a biological woman and a female. I haven't spoken to him since.
For context we were having sex, and at some point with his eyes closed he moaned "yeah that boy pussy..." and then stopped, realising he spoke out loud.
I'd feel better if he mentioned another woman because we're (somewhat) open but I'm pretty sure he's bisexual and instead of speaking to me about it, fantasizes about me being a twink.
I used to be a real ad
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Trolling My Dad's Office with Among Us (Office Series Part 6, Finale Part 3)
The other day, it was “take your kid to work day” at my dad’s job. It was really epic and poggers because I got to skip school for it. As we were walking in, I couldn’t help but notice that the company logo roughly resembled a crewmate from the popular game, Among Us. I asked my father, “Is this the Among Us but real??” My dad replied “No, son, this is the Pepsico corporate office.”
As we entered the building, my dad said “Son, I have a lot of work to do today. You can hang out with the other kids or play on your phone, just please stay on this floor.” He then entered the elevator and left. I turned to the other kids (who were all playing on their phones) and said “Does anyone wanna play some Among Us?” However, no one else wanted to play. I was getting bored, so I decided to explore around a little bit. I walked into the elevator and pressed the button for the top floor.As the elevator door opened, I saw what appeared to be a long hallway. As I was walking down it, I found a door that was labeled “Executive Meeting Room”. The door was unlocked, so I walked in and there were about 15 people in suits and ties around a table. They all looked up at me in confusion. One of them asked me “Hey buddy, are you lost?” I noticed that his nametag read “Hugh Johnson, CFO”. “Does CFO stand for Chungus Fortnite Officer?”, I asked. “No, it does not. And where is your parent? Go back to the bottom floor young man!” He was yelling at me. So I said “You’re sus. I should eject you, Hugh Johnson. Do you have a… HUGE JOHNSON?! That’s funny like Big Chungus, which is the Bugs Bunny from Looney Tunes but a big rabbit!” I laughed. Everyone was looking up at me in shock when I said “Wanna play some Among Us guys?”
The CEO, a very sexy woman, ooga booga awooga, said “Young man, go back to the first floor now!” But the sexy woman I just couldn’t listen to as I admired her. “No, because you have big tits.” Her jaw dropped, and she said, “Young man, this is an important meeting. Get the fuck out!” She then used the intercom to call security. Coming to the realization that I was running out of time, I pulled down my pants to show everyone my Among Us underwear. I jumped up onto the meeting table and started twerking (to make sure everyone saw my among us underwear I got for Christmas) and said “Do you like what you see?” Everyone was yelling at me to get out as I was twerking. “I’m so hot~~~~” I said. The yelling got louder. I ran out of the door and closed it, hoping that security wouldn’t find me. I quickly ran into the elevator and went down.
Trolling with Among Us
Among Us / Amogus
Old WeirdChamp
⡈⠉⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣛⣛⣛⣛⣩⣭⣭⣭⣭⣭⣭⣭⣭⣭⣵⢸⣿⣿⣿⡆⡀
⠄⢀⣤⠛⢛⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣭⣭⣥⣾⣯⣭⣭⣽⣇⢻⣿⢻⣿⡇
⠄⠈⠁⡐⡄⠋⠉⣀⣀⣀⡈⠉⠻⢿⣿⣿⠿⠛⣻⡛⠫⠿⠿⠿⠿⠸⢋⣿⢟⡇
⠄⠠⡆⡇⠈⢠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡂⠄⠛⠃⠄⣐⡟⠓⠄⠄⣀⣀⣠⣤⣀⠉⣼⡇
⠆⠄⣭⠁⠱⢝⡋⠠⠄⠄⢴⣒⣉⣀⡀⣓⣶⣶⠆⠄⠘⠋⠉⠛⠻⢿⣿⠄⣿⡇
⡔⠄⣿⣿⡇⢙⣛⣒⠒⢒⣊⣩⣩⣿⡇⢸⣿⣿⢸⡷⣲⣾⣅⠒⢁⣠⣍⣤⠿⠇
⠄⢀⠟⢻⣿⣵⣦⣤⣬⣤⣤⣴⣿⠋⠄⣼⣿⣿⠈⢰⣄⠚⠒⠤⠤⢔⣻⣿⡒⠄
⠄⠈⠄⣾⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⣛⣀⠄⣾⣿⣿⡇⠸⢿⣿⣶⣶⣮⣍⣁⠄⡆⠄
⠄⠄⣦⢛⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⣁⠚⠿⣿⢠⠿⣿⣿⡇⢸⡆⠙⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣴⡷⠄
⡆⠄⠄⠰⡫⠏⠷⠋⢀⣾⢿⡳⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣸⣦⡙⠟⣿⣟⣿⡏⢃⣰
⡇⠄⠄⠄⠈⢁⠄⡶⠊⣇⡈⣥⣭⣽⡆⠄⠄⠲⣤⣈⢋⡿⣷⠄⢱⠖⠛⢱⣼⣿
⣧⠄⠄⠄⢠⣿⡀⠄⠄⠄⠚⠉⠭⠭⠍⠻⠯⡭⠭⣟⡳⠆⣿⡇⣼⠺⠱⠈⣿⣿
⣿⠄⠄⣵⡈⣹⡷⣶⣶⣶⣶⣤⣀⣒⣖⣒⡒⠒⣒⢠⣶⣦⡉⣶⡗⢱⠇⣼⣿⣿
⡿⢠⠄⠘⢣⠈⠄⢻⣬⡘⠋⠉⠄⠄⠄⠉⠉⠊⠄⠚⠏⣐⣵⠛⠁⢊⣤⣿⣿⣿
⣷⢹⣧⠄⠈⢃⠄⠄⠘⢛⣷⣤⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣤⣬⢹⠟⢿⠄⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿
Taking my polar bear for a walk
twitchquotes:
╭( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)╯╲_____ʕ° ᴥ°ʔ Oh, don't mind me. Just taking my polar bear for a walk.
twitch chat
Trump
gay brazilians
twitchquotes:
Hi Bjergsen I am from Brazil and just like many brazilians, I am gay, and I would really like to have a bed time with you and listen to your cutie voice and perhaps do some coitus and engage and marry eachother. Our wedding would be in some favela of Rio de Janeiro. What do you think????????????
twitch chat
Bjergsen
KappaPride
Whenever kripp says "alright subber-bros"
twitchquotes:
Whenever kripp says "alright subber-bros", I know it's time. I full screen the stream and grab my vaseline. I apply a huge load onto my newly shaved butthole and rub it all around nice and even. And then, when kripp says "thanks, and welcome to the 5 dollar club", I place my butthole in front of the screen. It is in that moment, that kripp fists me. I moan with pleasure. I'm one with the kripp
twitch chat
Kripp