[Copypasta] My husband said I have "boy pussy."

My husband said I have "boy pussy." I am a biological woman and a female. I haven't spoken to him since. For context we were having sex, and at some point with his eyes closed he moaned "yeah that boy pussy..." and then stopped, realising he spoke out loud. I'd feel better if he mentioned another woman because we're (somewhat) open but I'm pretty sure he's bisexual and instead of speaking to me about it, fantasizes about me being a twink.
May 2022
I used to be a real ad
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Could you guys be more serious and stop the spamming

twitchquotes: guys could you please be a little serious and stop the spamming? people are trying to enjoy the stream here, its hard to find a place where im accepted for who i am and when i see you all spam kripps chat it makes me feel rly bad because i know that he wants you to learn instead of joke around as well
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

World War 2 in emojis

๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿป๐Ÿค๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿปโ€๐Ÿฆณ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ช ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿป๐Ÿšถโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿšถโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿšถโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿšถโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿฆ๐Ÿ‡ซ๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‘€๐Ÿ‘€ ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿป๐Ÿšถโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿšถโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿšถโ€โ™‚๏ธโžก๏ธ๐Ÿ˜€๐Ÿ˜€๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡น ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿป๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿ‘‰๐Ÿ‘‰๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ฟ๐Ÿ˜จ ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿปโ€๐Ÿฆณ๐Ÿ™„๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‡ซ๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‘จโ€๐ŸŽจ๐Ÿ™„๐Ÿ‘ ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ฟ๐Ÿ˜ต๐Ÿ”ซ๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿป๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ช ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿป๐Ÿค๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿป๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‡บ ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿป๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿ‘‰๐Ÿ‘‰๐Ÿ™๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ฑ ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿคฌ๐Ÿคฌ๐Ÿคฌ๐Ÿคฌ๐Ÿ™…โ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿ™…โ€โ™‚๏ธ ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿป๐Ÿค๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿป๐Ÿšถโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿšถโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿšถโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿšถโ€โ™‚๏ธโš”โžก๏ธโš”๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ˜ฏ ๐Ÿ‡ซ๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‘จโ€๐ŸŽจ๐Ÿ˜ฏ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿปโ€๐Ÿฆณ๐Ÿ˜ฏ ๐Ÿ‡ซ๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‘จโ€๐ŸŽจ๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿปโ€๐ŸฆณโœŒโš”๐Ÿ†š๏ธโš”๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿป๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ช ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ˜ต๐Ÿ”ซ๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿป๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿค๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿป๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‡บ ๐Ÿ‡ซ๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ˜ต๐Ÿ”ซ๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿป๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ช ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿปโ€๐ŸฆณโœŒ๐Ÿšข ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿปโ€๐Ÿฆณ๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜˜โžก๏ธ๐Ÿ˜ณ๐Ÿ˜ณโ™ฟ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ ๐Ÿ‡ฏ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ˜‘๐Ÿ›ซ๐Ÿ›ซ๐Ÿ’ฃ๐Ÿ’ฃโžก๏ธ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธโ™ฟ๐Ÿ˜ฏ๐Ÿ˜ฏ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธโ™ฟ๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿปโ€๐ŸฆณโœŒโš”๐Ÿ†š๏ธโš”๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿป๐Ÿ‡ฏ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ˜‘๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‘จโ€๐Ÿฆฒ ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿปโš”๐Ÿ†š๏ธโš”๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿป๐Ÿ˜ฏ๐Ÿ˜ฏ๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ”ฅ ๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿป๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜˜โžก๏ธ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ˜ณ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ˜ณ ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿป๐Ÿ˜ต๐Ÿ”ซ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ˜Ž๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ˜Ž๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ˜Ž๐Ÿ‡ซ๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ˜Ž ๐Ÿ‡ฏ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ˜ต๐Ÿ”ซ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ˜Žโ˜ข๐Ÿ’ฃ ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ณ
July 2021

Emoji Pasta

Am I the asshole for dropping my 6 year old son at an orphanage for his inability to trade options?

This started about 4 years ago when my son was 2 years old. I started to supplement his picture books and cartoons with beginner options books and Martin Shkerli's live videos on how to pick pharmaceutical stocks. Over the course of these years I feel like he has retained absolutely nothing even though I have spent every waking minute trying to make him understand. I have done almost everything that I have thought of including having Jerome Powell's speeches play while he is sleeping and only having Warren Buffet on the TV to try and make him understand the market. I felt as though I got to a breaking point when he couldn't differentiate between a straddle and a strangle even though we we went through different strategies for almost a month straight. I finally convinced my wife that we were doing the right thing when I said that he will soon be a Wendy's worker begging his wife's husband for a weekly allowance because he will never amount to be anything. I couldn't fathom raising a kid who was not able to able to make a profit from trading options by the time he was 10. With all that said if anyone wants a 6 year old child who is shitty at market strategy check out Eternal Sunny Orphanage in Omaha, Nebraska and maybe your luck will be better than mine with him.
September 2021

Am I The Asshole?

WallStreetBets

jeSUS

So, last Sunday my parents made me go to church ,which made me really mad because my parents don't let me play Among Us in church. We took our seats and the priest was up front talking about "salvation" and "holiness" or whatever. Same thing as last week. But then, he said something that really caught me off guard. He spoke of a man who goes by the name of "Jesus." "Jesus." "JeSUS." No way. I could not believe what I was hearing. Endorphins were rushing to my brain and my body began to shiver as I let out a quiet moan. If you didn't catch on by now, the word "Jesus" has "SUS" in it, which is a reference to the popular video game "Among Us." "WHEN THE IMPOSTER IS SUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" I screamed louder than I ever have in my life. My words echoed throughout the room for five seconds before fading into complete silence. Everyone was staring at me as I had a huge grin on my face, perfectly replicating the face from the "when the imposter is sus" meme (Google it if you don't know what it is.) They all had this look on their faces as if I had just slaughtered 7,924 Afghanian children. "Why do you all have that look on your faces? Did someone do a Fortnite dance?" And there was still complete silence. I actually had to make sure I wasn't wearing my noise cancelling headphones that I always wear while playing Among Us. I could not believe that not one person in the room was dying of laughter!! "Young man, please be quiet" said the priest. He was literally the one who made the Among Us reference in the first place. What's his problem? "THAT'S NOT VERY WHOLESOME!!!!!!!!!!" This guy was definitely the imposter. There's no way he couldn't be. I Naruto ran faster than anyone has ever Naruto ran before. Even Naruto himself would be proud of me. As I was making my way up to the imposter, the security guard was chasing after me! I had to think fast. After being chased around the room for two minutes, I hastily undid my pants and peed in the security guard's eyes. As he was being blinded by my pee, he was stumbling around and bumped into the wall very hard. A crucifix fell off the wall and impaled his stupid, ugly fat head. He fell and a pool of blood soon formed around him. Everyone in the church was screaming and running out the door. I slammed my hand down on the crucifix, replicating the button you press in Among Us, which drove the crucifix further into his skull. "EMERGENCY MEETING!!!!!!!!!!!" No one laughed. They were too busy screaming to notice. Whatever. I stripped completely naked and went up to the priest. I replicated the Big Chungus pose with 100% accuracy. "You probably don't even use Reddit. That's not very keanu chungus wholesome 100 of you. Go subscribe to r/atheism." The priest had a look of shock on his face when I said that. The kind of face one would make if they caught their beloved child playing Fortnite. He held a cross in front of himself and started talking about "possession" and "demons." He obviously doesn't know how to play Among Us so naturally, I felt bad for him. But he was still the imposter. I grabbed him and threw him across the church, sending him crashing through the window and slammed against the street outside. A car ran over his head, causing his brain and skull fragments to splatter everywhere. Then, I heard sirens and a helicopter flying around above the church. I went upstairs to the roof to check out what was going on. "This is the police! Get down from the roof now or we will shoot!" This guy is so sus, let me tell ya. Obviously, I was not going to listen to an imposter so I was Naruto running around the roof. Bullets from the helicopter were raining down from above but none of them hit me since I was Naruto running so fast. "Dammit, I can't hit him!" I knew I had him beat then. So, I pulled out my gun (I always keep a glock in my foreskin so I can pull the Among Us death animation when I lose my virginity because I know it makes girls horny.) I shot at the helicopter and it started spinning out of control and crashed into the front of the church, causing a huge explosion. The roof started sliding off from the building, which landed on the cop cars and killed 8 cops. This also flung me into the street and I broke my foot, which was very sus. I limped all the way to the woods where I am now hiding and writing this. I will update as soon as I can but I need to get out of here soon because I can hear people looking for me.
September 2021

Among Us / Amogus

Hippo

โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–’โ€ƒโ€ƒโ–’โ–’โ–’โ€ƒโ€ƒโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ€ƒโ€ƒโ–’โ–’โ€ƒโ€ƒโ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆ(โ—)โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–“โ–’โ–’โ€ƒโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ€ƒโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–’โ€ƒโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ€ƒโ–“โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–“โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–“โ–’โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘
ascii art
November 2014
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